Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 35

Thread: Most Embarassing moment with an SP?

  1. #1

    Red face Most Embarassing moment with an SP?

    I was reading a thread about overnights with Sp's and I thought what would you do if you had to perform a bodily function very badly?! That got me thinking that maybe we could all poke some fun at ourselves and share our most embarassing moments with an Sp! Who's game?

    This could be anything from breaking wind by accident, being starstruck by a beautiful Sp and falling over a chair, trying to pick her up and dropping her, answering the door and seeing a relative/friend standing in front of you, calling for an Sp and accidentally hitting the speed dial for your parents house, don't be afraid, we'll laugh with you, not at you. All right maybe we'll laugh at you a little bit!

  2. #2
    proud infidel
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    from the civilized world
    Posts
    1,983

    clogged toilet

    Once i decided to go to Chablis to call myself a date. However, as it turned out, my initial concerns had less to do with a future date than with a clogged toilet, as i must have spent the first hour of my 3-hour stay trying to resolve this annoying problem which was of my own making... .

    The front desk was gracious enough, however, to immediately send me a Russian-sounding handyman who pulled out a strange-looking long-handled tool, with some metal wire attached to it, resembling somewhat a fishing rod, to try to unplug my toilet. After about a good 30 min of toiling over the toilet bowl and inhaling the foul smell, the handyman finally succeeded in making the toilet work normally again. Thankfully, no date arrived during this interval, which would have made things even worst . Since then, however, i've always remained a bit fearful every time i'm at Chablis and i have to flush the toilet .

    fml
    fml

  3. #3
    Veteran of Misadventures
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    U.S.A.
    Posts
    13,131

    Two Stories!

    Most of the long time members will remember this story, but the newbies will not. It was the summer of 2003 - Jazz Festival. I was staying at the Sofitel on Sherbrooke. I had spent most of a long hot day walking around Old Montreal. As I walked back to the Sofitel in anticipation of a late afternoon date with Vanessa of the companions (she worked there only briefly), I noticed that I was very hungry and I decided to get ``Kojaxed`` at the Kojax in Complex Desjardins (it`s no longer there either). I ordered a souvlaki sandwich with extra tzaziki sauce and raw onions and tomatoes, the way I like it, and the way it`s supposed to be eaten. I wasn`t too concerned because I had a large bottle of listerine back in my room and figured listerine would blow away any residual breath odors from the souvlaki, because listerine is listerine, after all.

    Fast forward 3 hours later, after 3 brushings of my teeth and several vigorous listerine rinsings. I am on top of my bed at the Sofitel, on top of Vanessa, kissing her neck, her cheeks, and then her lips (by the ways, she was a very attractive tall brunette but is long gone from the Montreal escort scene). As I am kissing her, I notice her lips pursing in a smile. I said to her, ``why are you smiling?`` She said to me, ``what did you have for lunch?!?!?`` I said ``uhhhhhh................I ate a souvlaki at Kojax, but I have washed away the odor with listerine!!!!!!!`` She says to me in a giggling voice, ``I don`t think so.`` I then get out of the bed, go to the bathroom, and proceed to rinse with listerine two more times. I go back to the bed, mount Vanessa, and start kissing her again. She starts laughing and says to me, ``I can still smell it. It must be the garlic in the sauce.`` Lolita would later tell me that I probably should have ate parsley and drank coffee or chewed coffee beans to get rid of that garlic or raw onion odor.

    Moral of the story: listerine does not eliminate all food odors. Do not eat a Kojax souvlaki with raw onions and tzaziki sauce 2-3 hours before a date. Wait until after the date!

    One other embarassing episode: this past March, an escort menstruated on my back. Here is the link to that post, ``My Bizarre Easter Weekend in Montreal``:

    https://merb.cc/vbulletin/showthread...easter+weekend
    Last edited by EagerBeaver; 08-13-2005 at 03:32 PM.

  4. #4
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    Los Angeles
    Posts
    133
    EB, thx for the very private and funny personal experience.

    My Rule #1 is never, never eat raw onions. Even if you are only going back to work. Onions are yucky, very yucky

    However, I do understand. Italian is my favorite and I love garlic (hate onions). I think Listerine will take care of it until I have just the slightest little burp and oh my god, "I am sorry but I had the most delicious Italian lunch today", it was just so good I wish you were there with me to enjoy it with a glass of the most incredible Italian Chianti.

    Oh well, I tried.

  5. #5
    Frequent Visitor
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    37

    Several experiences

    Snoring, mensturation, passing gas, toilets, etc. You name it and it has probably happened (or will happen) if you do this long enough. I think the key is being with the right person who happens to also be human and have a sense of humor.

  6. #6

    Same here

    Yup, it's all happened to me...

    Farting:

    I'm young enough to hold it, but I don't know how much longer that's going to last. The worst part is when the bottled up fart prevents you from performing. In other words, you spend so much energy in keeping from farting, you can't relax enough to be aroused.

    Toilets:

    I actually had an SP clean up after my overflowed toilet once (in Niagara Falls).

    Call of Nature:

    Dinner dates are the worst. It's like right after I eat, I have to take an immediate dump. This sucks, because as soon as you get back to the hotel with the SP, taking a dump is the last thing you want to do.

  7. #7
    Forgetting the lady's name or not being able to say it during the visit.

    What's your name again?

    Happened in Las Vegas, and I hope I don't ever repeat this...memory lapse thing.
    ~~~ WTF I just say that for? ah Je plaisantais seulement!

  8. #8

    Talking

    About 10 years ago I used to hook up with this duo that used to advertise in the jdm, and they told me that once they had a client who had some toilet paper stuck between his ass cheeks. They didn't tell him.

  9. #9

    Red face Come on theres got to be some more sidesplitters!

    Thanks to those of you who have had the courage to share your stories with us. I guess I should post mine since I started this. Here goes...

    I once saw an SP who paid great attention to detail from an e-mail I had sent her telling her some things that turned me on. She showed up and gave me a dream date wearing and doing a bunch of things that had my eyes bulging out of my head and mini-me at full attention. I really appreciated the effort she had made to please me and wanted to tell her so I sat at my PC upon returning home and wrote her a note thanking her for the lingerie, toys, role playing(she deserved an oscar) etc...and I sent it off to her.

    The next day I got an e-mail from my MOTHER saying she was happy I was having such a good time with my new girlfriend but I should really double check on whose name I clicked on in my e-mail address book before clicking Send.

  10. #10
    proud infidel
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    from the civilized world
    Posts
    1,983
    Ha ha ha ... good one, HA.

    I remember once i came across an sp at my work that i had seen on a few occasions in the past, about 5 years prior. Although i'm quite certain she recognized me as much as i recognized her, nothing was said with respect to our past encounters, both of us managing to remain professional, though the situation was somewhat awkward .

    fml
    fml

  11. #11
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    west-island
    Posts
    1,031

    Unhappy Foreign object

    At a salon on St-Mathieu,I had a reverse massage with someone I won't name or even describe,out of respect.I started to rub her neck,shoulders, working my way down till her ass.Believe it or not,there was a small remain of toilet paper in her butt crack!Yuuuuk!!!What a turn off!I didn't know what to do of it.Should I tell her?Too embarassing,I thought.Should I try and remove it?I couldn't,there were too many mirrors,she would have seen me or even feel my hand reaching for "it".I went directly for the legs and resumed the back massage as quickly as possible.Asked her to flip,and then resumed the session.Needless to say,the mood was broken.I went back on the table and could't cum.

  12. #12

    Good thread

    I'd have to say so far, HonestAbe is the most funny to me. I guess I'll share too.

    I was in an MP with a nice young thin blond, probably around 24. She was just over 5 feet tall. She asked me if I thought I could lift her up. And being the male that I am, "of course" I said. She bent her arms at the elbows and braced them against her side and wanted me to lift her. So I bend down a bit, place my palms under her elbows and prepare to lift and show her who's the man ... and this is the time where I lost my balance and fell on my ass just as I was trying to lift her ! Tough to get back on track after that.

    Gambling Fool
    Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

  13. #13
    Ok, my turn...Not too long ago I went to see one of the boards favorite Asian mp's for a massage. Everything was going well, I flipped over and was really enjoying myself and start to pull her on top for some DATY but she starts going "no,no,no...", so I let her go and she loses her balance and drags us both to the floor, without releasing her grip! Then she points out the fact that, in my eagerness, I hadn't given her time to completely remove her panties which were tangled around her ankles. Oops. It broke the mood but we both got a good laugh out of it.

  14. #14
    Veteran of Misadventures
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    U.S.A.
    Posts
    13,131
    Techman,

    I have had a few recent experiences where an SP gyrated right off the bed during DATY, partly due to me not paying enough attention to our placement on the bed............on both occasions I was able to grab the SP at the last moment and haul her back into the bed. It can be funny when this happens, but if she hit her head on the floor or jammed her shoulder it would not be too funny.........

  15. #15
    EB,
    It's one thing when it happens in a bed. Totally something else on a massage table covered with sanitizing paper. You just slide right off and even if I grabbed the edge that would have just made everything tip over. But not to worry, I was able to land with her on top so I took the force of the landing.
    Plus I learned my lesson...make sure the panties are off before pulling a ladies leg over your head

Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •