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Thread: Euro-English to become the official language of the European Union rather than German

  1. #1

    Euro-English to become the official language of the European Union rather than German

    The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

    As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in plan that would become known as “Euro-English”.

    In the first year, “s” will replace the soft “c”.

    Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

    The hard “c” will be dropped in favour of “k”.

    This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

    There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome “ph” will be replaced with “f”.

    This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

    In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

    Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

    Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent “e” in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

    By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing “th” with “z” and “w” with “v”.

    During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords kontaining “ou” and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

    Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

    Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

  2. #2
    A prestiged re-member Bruce34's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004

    Angry Great one!

    I'm loving it!
    Make her laugh, make her smile, and do make her moan

  3. #3
    That is one of the funniest things I have ever read in my life. You should put up a warning that people should not drink or eat anything while reading. I almost choked to death on a mouth full of sunflower seeds!

  4. #4
    Phrygian Nymph
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Mount Ida
    Great post Just Alex! LOL

  5. #5
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Los Angeles
    sehr gute
    sehr lachen!
    JA, mehr email bitte

    very good
    very funny/laugh
    JA, more posts/email please

    This is so hilarious, I can't stop laughing.

    P.S. I had two years of German in high school and I think I now know more Francais???

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