Results 1 to 11 of 11

Thread: Any law merbites in the audience?

  1. #1
    uninformed informant
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Posts
    146

    Any law merbites in the audience?

    I am in need of some legal guidance, well actually it's my brother who needs it.

    The mother of my nephew has decided, nearly 9 years after their breakup that what she was getting from my brother is insufficient and is now dragging my brother in court for more alimony as well as every other dollar she can extract from him.

    For example, my nephew had a headache the other day, thus she is requesting that my brother reimburse the bottle of Tylenol she had to buy.

    My nephew also happens to be an A student, so she feels it's my brothers responsibility to pay for the private school my nephew attends.

    My brother has always been like a doormat when it concerns his children so he has always done his best to provide for them (he has a daughter from another relationship.)

    He buys my nephew clothing 4 times a year, he has not bitched once when she either couldn't pick up my nephew or drop him off for unexplained reasons, making him have to leave early from work to cover for her slack. Nor has he bitched every time he picked my nephew up only to seek him carrying a large bag full of dirty clothes, because she simply did not have the time to do the cleaning.

    He has paid for at least 60-70% of the private schooling, as well as pretty much every school supply and activity that she enrolled him in.

    Anyway If I keep listing these things I'll probably have a novel written down.

    I know all of this because during the first 6 of those years, my parents were babysitting my nephew when my brother had to work during the weekends or weeks he had custody, and I lived at home so I saw and heard all the things happening.

    Because of all her financial demands, my parents have had to give of their own money to help my brother and it has also happened that I have had to intervene financially.

    My brother barely makes 24k and is supporting two kids, She on the other had is living with a man who has his own business, she works as his accountant, yet she is claiming to be on a student's budget (university) and trying hard to provide for her child.

    She started university 2 years before she left my brother for the man she is with now.

    In the last 3 years she has taken my nephew on about 6 different trips, Las Vegas, France were two of them.

    She isn't a bad mother, she takes care of my nephew but she has always been a bit insane and her priorities have never been real straight so her decisions towards his choices (music, activities, etc) are always a bit skewed.

    Since her decision to take legal action, she has forbid my brother from calling his son, saying that if my nephew wanted to talk to him he would call him. At this point we're unsure if she has told my nephew the same thing.

    She has also forbid my parents from speaking to him or seeing him, saying that grandparents should only be seen once a year.

    She has also on several occasions, requested of him to see the logs of his online communications with me. So far my nephew has refused and even deleted them, even though most of them were just conversations about music, games and school. Makes me glad he was at least able to gain a sense of his own privacy.

    Anyway, here we are, her lawyers biting at my brothers toes, both my brother and parents are frantically searching for affordable legal counseling, and failing miserably at it.

    I'd just like some opinions on reads we can take on this.


    Personally I suggested to them that they let me perform an abortion... albeit would be an abortion that is 30ish years late but would resolve the matter fairly quickly...

    All kidding aside, um... HELP?
    Last edited by Gee; 11-03-2005 at 02:03 AM. Reason: Horrendous spelling
    Inherited Will, the destiny of an age and the dreams of its people. These things will not be stopped.
    As long as people continue to pursue the meaning of freedom. They will never cease to be.

  2. #2
    uninformed informant
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Posts
    146
    Where I get the advice will not matter, as always in any situation regarding my family, I always act as a shadow.

    To 90% of my family I don't even exist anymore, to the rest I just don't seem to care. The only ones who know of my involvement in any trouble that might have happened or will happen is my direct family.

    And even they won't know where I get my advice, I ask here because this place is probably one of the more diverse groups I interact with.

    you're right, this matter should be seen by an attorney right away... but as I mentioned there is a lack of affordable legal counseling out there. The cheapest we've found so far won't even acknowlege our existence without a 1000$ advance followed by a 225$ an hour rate.
    Inherited Will, the destiny of an age and the dreams of its people. These things will not be stopped.
    As long as people continue to pursue the meaning of freedom. They will never cease to be.

  3. #3

    Legal Help

    Quote Originally Posted by Gee
    I am in need of some legal guidance, well actualy it's my brother who needs it. ?
    Try Legal Aid in MOntreal:
    http://www.csj.qc.ca/english/plandusite.asp

    or Fathers 4 Justice
    http://www.fathers.ca/f4j_in_montreal.htm

    Unfortunately, men have been at a big disadvantage in Family Law.

    Bonne chance!

  4. #4
    juzt_a_girl
    Guest

    not a law-merbite but...

    if you want to get information on a case like this, and you have a phone, I strongly suggest calling Mcgill's legal aid clinic. 398-6792. I've used them before.... Law students supervised by law teachers. The cool aspect is that you can get TONS of info over the phone, and if you wish, make an appointment to meet in person (though I think the best aspect of this IS that you can discuss options over the phone). They also provide low-fee lawyers, and of course can refer you. Concordia also has a similar service, though I can't say how great it is... (as far as I know McGill is the recognised lawschool, not Concordia....) I'm not sure whether they offer counsel over the phone, but I know for sure they take appointments. 848-4960.

    And unfortunately... I agree about the situation for men in family law. So you really need to know your stuff.

    Good luck...

    Chloë

  5. #5
    A prestiged re-member Bruce34's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Montreal
    Posts
    331

    Cool A date with Chloe?

    Ahh man this is unfair. I am giving almost every trick in the book for free. And I don't even have extra mileage for this... You owe me a beer, nah a case of 24, make it better, a date with Chloe.

    Ok first off, welcome to the system. It’s corrupt, unfair, illogical, and it represents the "best interest of the child" - which is not. Remember this and always do, in a case of divorce the person suffering is not his ex, it's your bro, not the judge, certainly not the lawyer (cause they make money no matter what) but the most innocent people in the process, the children. During the whole battle in court and out of court, which takes years and up until they are 14 (legal age of child deciding their own faith), the child is brainwashed, tormented, evaluated and transferred over here and there. And all that time the kids wonder why his parents are still fighting when they are already divorced/separated.

    Does the interest of the parents outweigh the interest of the child? No by law, but in these cases, every parents think they represent the best interest of the child but really don't. Tell your brother to understand this, and let it be clear, if not, there's no point of doing all this and spending all this money, that being nice to the ex is not a way to win this and certainly not by being on the sideline that things will change.

    There are a lot of lies and dishonesty out there. It happens everyday and every case. It's about doing better PR than Micheal Jackson to the eyes of the judge and walking on tippytoes with his child to look good. Prepare for a long journey because it's long. Keep your bro's moral high, and even in case of a lost, He fought till the end.

    Let's play simple and win a little at a time. Grandparents: "Grandparents’ rights are not specifically written into law in Canada except in Quebec." Look under Quebec. What that means is that even if he losses or wins custody, your parents are entitled to visitation rights, may it be, every second week-ends. They just have to prove that in fact, they had previously do see your nephew every two week-ends (or any other frequency they had). Both testimony is good enough for the court. Also, do ask for an interim judgment (with a lesser frequency at first) before the court date (usually scheduled 4-5 months later).

    Second the money issue, it's simple. Stop. Stop payments, stop the abuse and stop for any of your nephew's new activities. She will use threats, send letters say he is abusive crazy and rich and an "asshole" (probably financing her brother's illicit activities (joking)). If the child has current activities, do pay, any new activity, take it to court. "File a motion" is your brother's new answer.

    History is precious and a gold mine. So log. Log everything, every threats. Buy a phone conversation recorder, it's a 100$ but if it shows that she threatens to brainwash the child during a heated conversation, you know what to do. Send all communication by certified letter. With every end of letter suggesting that "we should use a book to pass communication, or if better use emails". This shows good will from your bro to use effective communication - a bonus point for shared custody.

    If your bro owns a business, consult an accountant and have it "in trust" to the child which means eh does not own it even if it's worth 25 millions, it's not his nor hers. If she wants more money, fine. There is a form *sigh* (don't feel like searching - need a BJ) a table that indicates depending on her salary - huh, none - and his 2004 salary minus the expenses for the other child and that gives the child alimony he owes her. The good news? It's less in Quebec, the bad? It looks like she has full custody so it can be high. But the good news is that she can't bitch about his soccer, his dental work, etc. remember, "File a motion".

    Is he scared he cannot pay alimony? Go bankrupt. I didn't say that. Did I? Judge will be lenient towards bankrupt fathers.

    If he wants to win custody, again, log every time he has to take care of your nephew. Every time she calls make it sound like it's very inconvenient for your brother to pick up his son: "What I have to cancel my date tonight?", "C'mon I have a night out with the guys", "But I have tickets for the Canadians tonight". Her purpose of life is to torture him and this seems to work. Wrong. He's simply making a point for the psycho-social worker. It looks miserable to him but really he's scoring points "to look good" and her “look bad and unavailable for the child”.

    What he's not allowed to call him? I have thought about this, and the simplest way is to threat her lawyer. Simple, efficient and to the point. Something like: "Dear Sir, your client does not allow me to contact my son. You as a connoisseur of the law, I strongly advise that you inform your client that she cannot deny me that right. Failing to do so will be detriment to your case and I will report your lack of actions to the appropriate committee. Please act accordingly." It's cheap, amateurish, but dangerous. The lawyer will reply with a nice fuck-you letter, but who cares he advised the lawyer. You want to play safe, go to court and file a motion, and hope the judge hears your case pronto.

    Now the good news for poor people is that there are services available. The bad news is that it is the slowest. Your bro can have a psychosocial consultant paid by him for a good 2K, and file that to court. They are expert and submitting such reports basically says that "the child needs the presence of both parents for his best interest". Her lawyer will deny it and say it's flaw. Oh, big surprise. So your bother can take the most travelled path and wait 9 months (Mongomery report came out sooner) and have psychosocial analysis appointed by a judge which says the decisive and final verdict of share custody.

    From what I read he is a great father but what is the definition of a great father? (Please mermbites, don't reply to this, it's a matter of the law in Quebec not your point of view).

    About legal council don't go to McGill legal aid or legal aid. A legal aid lawyer has 300 cases a year. A Mcgill student will read you the law but has never been in the courtroom. He should consult a real lawyer and I have seen many good and bad and not worthy. A 300-400$/hr one will want the case done and over a 100$/hr want to extend the case. It's not a cheap journey. He can be self-represented but I have no comments. There are mediation services and he can force her to attend. Failing to do so will look bad on her part. There are 7 free sessions. I cannot say what goes in mediation because it's private and cannot say what type of mediator is best.

    There are other things, ways and tactics but cannot be mention on a public board. Go to fathers for justice, if they do exist and don't bitch all day and protest on the bridge, they might help you.
    Make her laugh, make her smile, and do make her moan

  6. #6
    uninformed informant
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Posts
    146
    Thanks for all the info bruce, my nephew is 14 and my brother has considered asking him if he want's to live with him from now on but at the same time. He doesn't want to seem like he's forcing him to chose one over the other.

    My brother was perfectly fine with how things were before she went balistic a week or two ago.
    Inherited Will, the destiny of an age and the dreams of its people. These things will not be stopped.
    As long as people continue to pursue the meaning of freedom. They will never cease to be.

  7. #7
    A prestiged re-member Bruce34's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Montreal
    Posts
    331

    Well you know what to do.

    Balistic, huh? Isn't that usual? He probably did something she did not like, or she had a bad day with the new boyfriend. Either case, here's the hard truth. A child must decide. After a divorce, placing a child in niddle ground while parents hide in trenches and they shout each other in the hopes that it hits the enemy while trying not to hurt the child standing in the middle. But it's not my call.

    Let me formulate it this way. Parents have the role of taking care of the child not torment him or use him for hidden purposes. If his ex hates him, propose mud wrestling or play Mortal Kombat or even a session of S & M. Leave the child out.

    If your brother thinks that the situation deteriorates or that it does not look good to the child or it interefere with his rapport with the child, file a motion, by himself first, asking (1) to have a lawyer appointed to the child (2) that he wishes to stay with your bro. It's simple. Let her threat him she will not win in this case.

    Well at least you know what to do and where to look for help.
    Make her laugh, make her smile, and do make her moan

  8. #8
    No offense to anyone, but you do not know who you are talking to on these boards or for that matter the internet.
    So asking for legal advice on this board is right up there with asking for medical advice........ not a very good idea

  9. #9
    A prestiged re-member Bruce34's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Montreal
    Posts
    331

    Cool Up to Gee

    mass1965,
    You are right except that I don't know who this Gee is and even if he has a bro, you'd be surprise that all cases of divorce are replicas of this one. When people divorce they all this that this is a new and unique case when it reality it's all said and done and judges just sit there because they are paid and that they are the final resource of ongoing fight between both parents.
    That said, if Gee would like his privacy respected, once satisfied (not sexually) he can delete the thread. If he thinks it's relevant for other members he can leave it. You become your own moderator when you start your own thread.
    Now if only I can get the next GFE experience...
    Last edited by Bruce34; 11-07-2005 at 02:09 PM. Reason: Spelling mistakes
    Make her laugh, make her smile, and do make her moan

  10. #10
    A prestiged re-member Bruce34's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Montreal
    Posts
    331

    Child support payments

    Gee,
    Your brother might want to look at this page as it explains it all:
    The Québec model for the determination of child support payments
    Good luck to your bro. Have fun in court and keep the moral high.
    Make her laugh, make her smile, and do make her moan

  11. #11
    Quote Originally Posted by Bruce34
    mass1965,
    You are right except that I don't know who this Gee is and even if he has a bro, you'd be surprise that all cases of divorce are replicas of this one. When people divorce they all this that this is a new and unique case when it reality it's all said and done and judges just sit there because they are paid and that they are the final resource of ongoing fight between both parents.
    That said, if Gee would like his privacy repected, once satisfied (not sexually) he can delete the thread. If he thinks it's relevant for other members he can leave it. You become your won moderator when you start your own thread.
    Now if only I can get the next GFE experience...
    Agreed.

    Best thing to do is to stop and think about what is best for your children before you act. You can believe the judges will.

    I also agree that that all cases are pretty much the same and the judges are bored to death of the nonsense between parents..

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •