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Thread: How do SPs "keep it together"?

  1. #1

    Question How do SPs "keep it together"?

    I am always fascinated by the psychological aspects of escorting. Yes, it is the oldest profession but it also takes its toll on one's mind. I have many conversations with SPs. It might surprise many clients that many SPs have a very low self-esteem which can often be traced back to abuse in their childhood. They often feel the need to 'fill a void' by meeting a man that compliments them. The "easy money" is undeniable but this is not an easy profession. I remember watching Ron Jeremy's (male porn star) documentary and feeling for the guy because he was never able to develop a meaningful relationship; he was lonely and in constant need for attention.

    I wonder how SPs deal with this loneliness. How easy is it to switch off and go into SP mode? How hard is it to leave the profession and start a "normal" life? How hard is it to confront the demons from the past and to liberate yourself from them?

    I guess this thread is mostly intended for SPS but I doubt many will feel comfortable discussing these issues in a public forum. But you never know...


    GG

  2. #2
    Some handle it better than others, if you accept that SPing or MPing as something that is not demeaning or degrading then there may be little or no guilt. Let me ask you how your self exteme would be if you were seen hauling a mop and bucket to clean out public toilets? Most of us would not want to do janitorial work because we deem it to be dememaning. Some MPs and SPs are there to make money to use as a stepping stone to better things.
    I once met a SP that told me she would rather be an SP than to be a exotic dancer because she thought that dancing nude was demeaning. A nude dancer told me that being a SP is demeaning, and she would rather dance nude. How your work effects you is how it effects your self esteem.

  3. #3

    Hum ... here's my 2 cents!

    I would think that how much confortable an SP can be would depend on why she's an SP or became one ...

    Now I'm very interested by the stripper vs SP situation...

    Let's see ... an average stripper will be naked all evening and migth get some private dances and ... maybe a few extras ... oups! Anyway, she will go back home with xx$$ after paying her bill at the bar (for some). Ok, I guess that they feel more comfortable in this situation.

    Other side ... an average SP is going to be naked a couple of times in the evening in private (with all that includes) and she will go back home with xxxxx$$ after paying an agencie and a driver. Ok, I guess those one feel more comfortable in this situation.

    For the common posters that usually don't understand what I'm talking about...here's the question for the SP's:

    Do you prefer expose yourself in public (because stripper club's are) and go back home with maybe some $$? or;
    Do you prefer have some sexual experiences in private and make sure you're going back home with some $$$?

    Here you go guy's, hope you'll get more answers ...
    Last edited by The Wizard of Oz; 01-26-2006 at 04:42 AM.
    Dorothy
    The Wizard of Oz
    __________________
    Socrate's Dog - An effective way to cause reflexion without abuse.

  4. #4

    Stripper vs. SPs

    So far this thread has not taken off but I am not surprised given the personal nature of the subject. Wizard, I do not think that you can lump SPs and strippers together. Some strippers make a lot more money than escorts a night because they work off huge volume. Not all escorts can be strippers and, vice versa, not all strippers can be escorts.

    In my opinion, the act of penetration is very intimate and escorts have a different mindset than the typical strippers that simply lapdance and get groped. To use Marx's lingo, SPs are the ultimate "proletariats" because they use the last things that is available to them to make a living - their body and their mind.

    GG
    Last edited by General Gonad; 01-26-2006 at 10:38 PM.

  5. #5

    Interesting comment......

    Quote Originally Posted by General Gonad
    To use Marx's lingo, SPs are the ultimate "proletariats" because they use the last things that is available to them to make a living - their body and their mind.
    GG
    Disagree,they use the FIRST things that are available - their body and their mind.

    In Hannah Arendt's "The Human Condition" she distinguishes between the three human activities - labour,work,action.The body and the mind are integral to all but originate from the basic labour - the activities the form the bases for the survival of the species.Along the same lines of reasoning you will find the origins of "the world's oldest profession".

  6. #6
    I remember seeing a documentary of local french television.

    The interviewer was a well known local female reporter.
    She asked "Est-ce que vous jouissez?"

    The escort answered "Oui! Deux fois! Quand il me paye et quand il crisse son camp!"

    The interviewer was a bit shocked.


    The implication is one method of defense that we are just Johns. SP & Johns are on the opposite side of the SP/John coin, but it is the same coin.

    A lot of guys are relaxed hobbiest.
    I started to use the term hobby of mine the second time I saw an SP a few years ago. I was not surprised when I saw the term used here.
    We are one side of the SP/John coin.

    But a lot of guys are unconfident, nervous, uptight and suspicious.
    They are one side of that SP/John coin.

    Does SPing take a psychological & physical toll. Yes.

  7. #7
    No problem.

    Interviewer "Do you have an orgasm?"

    Escort "Yes!. Twice! Once when pays and once when his ass is out the fcking door!"

  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by hydragoat
    No problem.

    Interviewer "Do you have an orgasm?"

    Escort "Yes!. Twice! Once when pays and once when his ass is out the fcking door!"
    Seems to contrast with others on this site who have established friendships with escorts. Like anything in life there are jerks; sp's who hate men, and clients who are boorish, uncouth, unsanitary etc. No one can truly tell what is in the heart of another. But people aren't fools and that goes for many of the guys who frequent sp's. Some have highly developed people skills and can read phony and insincere like a book. After all, many of them make quite a good living at it. Judging from the posts on this site "putting the pin" on sp's who feel a client is a support system for a wallet it seems to work.
    It would be nice to have some sp's comment on whether the unsavoury client as I described above has soured them somewhat on the business.
    All that aside, sex is the most powerful force for bonding. Where there is physical attrraction it tends to make us want exclusivity. Where there is a personality clash it can leads to bouts of betrayal of oneself. Perhaps it takes an effort of imagination to create the mindset which allows an sp to survive emotionally. And women have a different psychology to that of men so perhaps only a woman is best qualified to answer the question.
    I like to think that the more intelligent sp's have a bit of a soft spot for the clients who are really sweet guys who need the emotional healing which only they can provide, for example, who are hurting from a breakup, feel lonely or abandoned and so on. Also from many of the posts I have read there are many occasions where client and sp really get on quite well together, and share a playful and friendly experience. In short I suppose there is no hard and fast rule. But as I said this question is one which really only the girls can answer as to how they protect themselves emotionally.
    Confucius say: Man who take woman into house on side of hill - not on level.

  9. #9
    Ok - I will be the first SP in this thread. I reserve the right to revise what I have "thunk" here (wink)

    I don't consider myself having to "cope" with doing this work... funny thing is, the hardest part of this business is not the business we do. The hard part is the emails (a good deal of rude and disrespectful stuff), rude, hurtful and disrespectful telephone calls (I actually had one guy call to say that he would like to do my mother - btw - she's dead), and having to constantly defend our rates, our pics, our rules and screening, our website, etc, lot's of guys have trouble moving on. People who claim that you are not their type, are usually the ones saying we charge too much... why would they care how much we charge?

    Every now and again, these things start to get to me, and I enjoy time with my great clients a little less... when I start feeling like that, I take time off. Make some changes and get revitalized, I think that I am extremely lucky that I have always been a saver, so when I take time off, I am still secure.

    Now, I would like to address a few things brought up here:

    Not all girls come from an abusive past, especially the younger girls, who are bombarded with todays "pimp and ho" culture. They have been exposed to overt sexuality since they were young and so, in many ways, this lifestyle is idolized in many ways. I don't think that is a good thing. I think at this time, most of the younger girls in the business don't have to cope because they haven't yet evaluated the implications of what they are into, how it will affect their future, their health, their romantic encounters, etc.

    Now, between stripping and SPing... I can only explain why I don't strip. I can't dance, I am clutzy (I would only ever make tips if the guys felt sorry for me and all my bruises), I don't like crowds, and I can't dance (lol)... what I like about SPing... I love to meet new people, I enjoy getting intimate, it is one-on-one, if I am clutzy it is only one person who will witness it, oh, well, I just can't dance!

    xoxox
    Anik

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by General Gonad
    In my opinion, the act of penetration is very intimate and escorts have a different mindset than the typical strippers that simply lapdance and get groped. To use Marx's lingo, SPs are the ultimate "proletariats" because they use the last things that is available to them to make a living - their body and their mind.

    GG
    Very funny comment, I think we should call up Marx from his grave and ask him if this is what he really meant by proletariat.

    Food for thought:
    In Germany they push people on welfare to work as whatever they are best at for 1 euro /hour. Since SPing is perfectly legal in Germany they debate whether they should let welfare women to SP for 1 euro an hour.

    Carla

  11. #11

    Thanks for the quiperies

    Carla, Anik and Zaphyr, you are living proof that some in this endeavor are smarter and more interesting than most of us clients.

    Quote Originally Posted by Carla
    Very funny comment, I think we should call up Marx from his grave and ask him if this is what he really meant by proletariat.

    Carla
    Last edited by sybaritic; 01-26-2006 at 09:15 PM.
    Memory loves time

  12. #12

    Post

    GG,
    It took me a moment to figure out the meaning of ''lumb'' but now that I know, I can repeat that it was regarding J.Peterman that had a talk with an SP about being a dancer.

    I do agree that some strippers can't be SP and vice versa, but when you say that a stipper can make a lot of money ... well it was truth when men were putting $$ in the string, practice that disapeared with the private dance ...

    Other exception, if the stripper his God dam gorgeous welll she can do pretty good, dot I didn't talk about that case at all.

    Still I have to admit, even if it's obvious for some girls, I was very suprise to read from you: ''... because they use the last thing that is avalable to them ...'' You must had some kind of sad experiences ...

    Have to repeat my opinion: I would think that how comfortable an SP can be would depend on why she's an SP or became one ... and if I understood the reason of your tread, well I guest it was pretty much an answer to it.

    Hydragoat: If I would be the interviewer I would have my ass off even do it's not funny ... (I read too much the jokes about this). But I would really like to understandd the story about that SP/John coin ...

    JAS: Not only your post was very good about the subject, but I beleive that strippers must have similar hard part when they do private dance, but in there situation, it must be more physical.
    Dorothy
    The Wizard of Oz
    __________________
    Socrate's Dog - An effective way to cause reflexion without abuse.

  13. #13
    Quote Originally Posted by The Wizard of Oz
    ...story about that SP/John coin ...

    I'm just saying that johns & sp's are two facets of the same situation.

    One influences the other and vice-versa.
    One perceives the other and vice-versa.

    The influences and perceptions can be mutually positive, negative or mixed.

  14. #14

    romantic encounters

    Anik

    In the first part of your response I think I see two issues.

    First, you feel, and rightly so, that you have the right to be respected as a human being despite what issues anyone else may have with what you do. Fair enough! I agree! The majority of us here, I believe do have a very positive image of sp's. Take regnads comments for example.
    Second you are concerned with clients who question your "rates , your rules, your pics, and your screening. That is the business end of it all and as such there will always be some negotiations involved. As long as such things are conducted with civility then I would say it is part of the price of doing business. With screening, however, there should be no question. As a human being with feelings no one can force you to feel any one way about anyone or anything. And as in business, clients who object, can do so with their feet.

    Your comments about young girls are interesting though. It may be true that some enter into this with starry-eyed misconceptions about the glamour of it all. You caution against this for a few reasons. It is the last reason I find most revealing - how it will affect their romantic encounters later on. Now barring the fact that future prospective objects of their affection will be in the dark as to their past exploits in sp'ing, in what other ways could they face problems? Are you concerned about emotional complications? I think this may be the thread we are all dancing around here.
    Confucius say: Man who take woman into house on side of hill - not on level.

  15. #15

    The secret to great experiences

    I was pleased to read the excellent responses. First, to the two SPs, Anik and Zaphyr, I thank you for your honest thoughts, which I truly appreciate. Anik, I understand your frustrations with the emails and rude phone calls. I can only say that all SPs should not post their numbers. They should specify that serious clients are invited to email them and express their thoughts and requests and if the SP thinks it is worth pursuing, then she should arrange to call the client at a specified time. Zaphyr, living a double life is very stressful and cancellations are part of the game but you can also take measures to make sure it is a high probability client. If you call them at a specified time and "feel them out" then you may minimize the risks of cancellations. Always call them an hour prior to meeting them.

    Now, for my favorite post, which comes from the wise Regnad. Are you my soul brother? I can summarize your amazing post in one phrase: empathy and respect will take most clients who enjoy this hobby a long way. I always think of it this way: I am paying but I want her to remember me when I leave. I want her to say what a sweet, charming and great guy this was. What a great conversation we shared. I want her to feel like a queen, like she was the most important, precious person in the world. If I fail to accomplish this, then I regret the whole experience. You see gentlemen, this hobby is not about "us", it is about how you can make "them" feel special. When you finally understand this, you'll go a long way and truly enjoy your experiences with these blessed souls.


    GG
    Last edited by General Gonad; 01-26-2006 at 11:46 PM.

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