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Thread: ...Fears of becoming addicted!

  1. #1

    ...Fears of becoming addicted!

    Hello fellow Merbites!

    No, this post is NOT about Pokemon Go!

    I am new to the "hobby", having started in the month of May, after YEARS of lurking on the boards.
    After seeing my first escort, I felt wonderful: it went better than expected, I really had fun, the anxiety and guilt (ex-Catholic boy here!) of doing such an activity died down.
    ...The feeling of floating on a little cloud lasted maybe for a week, and then I started to get antsy, restless!
    Almost like I started to smoke crack (or insert drug of choice!), and I needed another hit!
    So... in a 6 week period, I've seen Sps three times.

    Now, I don't know if it' s because hobbying is a wild new frontier for me and I'm a bit overwhelmed (more than probably!), but my thoughts are pretty much occupied by... so, who will be the next one?
    ...I'm a bit afraid of becoming addicted to this!
    And it's getting pretty costly, pretty quick! (I'm not poor... but i'm not rich either: I' ll definitely have to impose myself some limits.)

    So what I want to ask you guys is how did it go when you got started "in the field"?
    Did you go bonkers for awhile and then it slowly got more manageable... or are you still indulging like crazy?
    Anybody had real addiction problems related to this particular field of activity, and (hopefully) overcame them?
    Any other relevant observations are welcome!

  2. #2
    Registered User
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    Damn i found myself old right now lollll...
    I have to say in the beginning before party etc..it was wonderful...cool...fun...and good times...But i have to say when GG(goodgirls) Made their first party...THAT is when the fantasy...the trips...the enthousiam..everythinggg was 10x more exciting...So i guess i was reborn again loll...Now with time i choose more carefull the girlz and i dont think with only mini me loll...I think with the right part of the brain The addiction problem was not for me except for my bank account lolll..But other then that...It is and still is a amazing experience you have to live and enjoy..GOOD luck to you...and please ..dont fear...GO ALL IN
    Donner une deuxième chance a quelqu'un qui ta trahi c'est comme donner une deuxième balle a quelqu'un qui ta manqué!!!

  3. #3
    Veteran of Misadventures
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    No addiction problems, and from my own observations the guys with so called addiction problems actually just didn't have the disposable income to be involved regularly and didn't do the math. The math is easy. You hobby within your budget, which if you have a good disposable income is regularly and if you don't then it's whatever you can do. I have in my many years here seen about half a dozen guys who were regulars on this board and all fit the same profile: under 35, not great disposable income or else they made inconsistent income, they didn't do the math, and they burned out. A couple of these guys also had tendencies to fall in love with one SP and didn't understand that it was unrequited. Another had a bit of a savior complex and was using MERB as a dating service and when he realized his talent to "save" was not in the same category as Jesus, he left the hobby and sought a civilian girlfriend. All young guys, all lacking in emotional maturity mainly due to youth and inexperience.

    Not trying to be judgmental here, because when I was the same age I wouldn't have handled things much better but I did get wiser with my years doing this.

  4. #4
    I do agree with EB here. I will just had that why you see SP is also of big importance. Myself I just do not want any women in my life so I can raise my kids in perfect agreement with my ex. But I do need a sex, being only mid-forties. When I started I saw probably 7-8 girl per month for the first 2 years, even if I could afford it, at one point I was a bit afraid too to become addicted. But I tired out naturaly. Now, just like with wine, I see SP much less frequently, but I go for quality. No more massage place, cheap hotel, girl not reviewed or advertized here.

    Many are like me, they see SP because they want to be single in life, which is perfectly understandable. To the contrary, many will see SP because they do not want to breakup their mariage because they simply can't deal with the no sex life of many mariage...

    If you never had any other addiction like drug, alcohol, games, etc... And if you are not too young like EB mentionned, I would not worry to much for now.

    Cheers,

  5. #5
    Gorgeous ladies Fanatic
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    Quote Originally Posted by Splotch View Post
    Any other relevant observations are welcome!
    Hello Splotch


    The main thing to remember ,it is adult entertainment ,phantasm and fantasies ,even if the Girl Friend Experience is real physically,emotionally it is a job for the ladies .

    This link is a interesting thread https://merb.cc/vbulletin/showthread....rience%94-last




    Cheers





    Booker

  6. #6
    Hobby within your budget. Never take away precious money from your kids, you will regret it heavily after a while when wisdom kicks in. Addiction occurs when you do not balance your family life, work, hobby and professional. I never felt addicted to this hobby but there was a time when I would spend quite a bit with the hobby and less time with family and work. I knew I was not doing the right thing but got a hold of myself pretty quick. However, it is important to note that I will not be able to tell what would happen to my <addiction> to the hobby if I was single ..... . So, if you feel you are falling off the balance of life vs hobby, then find yourself something to keep you busy, ie. family, sports, dating (if no family), work, etc .... . My own couple of cents.

  7. #7
    Registered User
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    Quote Originally Posted by Splotch View Post

    Now, I don't know if it' s because hobbying is a wild new frontier for me and I'm a bit overwhelmed (more than probably!), but my thoughts are pretty much occupied by... so, who will be the next one?
    ...I'm a bit afraid of becoming addicted to this!
    It can get addicting when you occupy your mind with it all the time.

    At my peak I was doing 1 SP a week and I did stop for extended periods of time ranging from couple months to a year.

    I did this mainly by occupying my mind with something else.

    But I'm not the type to get addicted to things and have the discipline to stop when I choose to.
    "Just When I Thought I Was Out.....They Pull Me Back In!!!"

  8. #8
    I tell the girls this and now I will say the same thing to the hobbyists: Pay yourself first.

    Ask yourself where you want to be at retirement. If you are making the maximum contribution to your 401K and Roth IRA or equivalents and you are paying your bills than you can probably afford this hobby.

    I have friends that go on exotic fishing, hunting, golf, and skiing trips. Others have to buy a new car every 3 years and still others have Country club memberships. These things are expensive. You may have to cut back here a little to afford the hobby.

    And the most expensive thing that you can do is find a nice girl and settle down. Now this will cost you more than any of the things I mentioned above...of course unless you are a shiftless bum.

    My friend had me over to see his new elk mount on the 7K$ trip he took out west. It was very impressive. If he were a hobbyist I would of showed him the photos of Jennifer in her little black dress and heels and my closeup of Chelsea's ass in her yoga pants. Those are my trophies.

  9. #9
    Thanks for the replies guys: good insight!
    It is very much appreciated!

    Now I guess I'll continue in this path, but with moderation and wiseness (as much as possible!).
    I'll just make sure to prepare myself a nice little annual budget for hobbying!

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by Splotch View Post
    Hello fellow Merbites!

    Did you go bonkers for awhile and then it slowly got more manageable... or are you still indulging like crazy?
    There's a risk of this happening because clients want fantasy. Many are dissatisfied with relationships or experiences with women in their lives and when you find a beautiful woman (escort) who is good at providing that fantasy some forget she is performing. You find someone who fills your desire for intimate companionship and sexual desire while also losing perspective on what this fantasy really is. It's a paid performance made to seem real and your lustful fulfillment increases the possibility of self-deception.

    Your level of income has nothing to do with it. It only takes losing perspective once to become addicted at least temporarily. The number of escorts you see doesn't matter. I had a minor experience shortly into seeing escorts, which I quickly remedied by remembering what I was doing. She and I then saw each other many more times without that kind of complication.

    Enjoy as much as you like but keep in mind what you are really doing. Borrowing/paying for fantasy. Stay real about it. The ladies and the agencies will be more comfortable with you and it will avoid many possible complications.

    Good luck
    7, Count em, 7 Super Bowls and 5 Super Bowl RINGS for Tom Brady...ROGER THAT!!!

  11. #11
    Quote Originally Posted by hungry101 View Post
    And the most expensive thing that you can do is find a nice girl and settle down.
    TRUE!!! But nothing invested nothing gained. I know people who are very happy with the hobby life and never wanted to settle down. Other people look back and say it was terrific fun but it's not enough. Treat seeing escorts as temporary excitement and make sure you are happy with that.
    7, Count em, 7 Super Bowls and 5 Super Bowl RINGS for Tom Brady...ROGER THAT!!!

  12. #12
    Quote Originally Posted by Passionné View Post

    Enjoy as much as you like but keep in mind what you are really doing. Borrowing/paying for fantasy. Stay real about it. The ladies and the agencies will be more comfortable with you and it will avoid many possible complications.

    Good luck
    Well said!
    Fortunately I am in my 30s and I get that this is all just a busine$$ transaction. I understand that it is all make-believe (wonderful, wonderful make-believe!), and I understand that when I am out the door, it is all over.
    ... I think my fear of addiction has more to do with the sheer number of desirable women in this industry ("Wait a minute, I can have her?? Then I SHOULD have her!! Gotta catch 'em all!").

  13. #13
    Quote Originally Posted by hungry101 View Post
    I tell the girls this and now I will say the same thing to the hobbyists: Pay yourself first.

    Ask yourself where you want to be at retirement. If you are making the maximum contribution to your 401K and Roth IRA or equivalents and you are paying your bills than you can probably afford this hobby.

    I have friends that go on exotic fishing, hunting, golf, and skiing trips. Others have to buy a new car every 3 years and still others have Country club memberships. These things are expensive. You may have to cut back here a little to afford the hobby.

    And the most expensive thing that you can do is find a nice girl and settle down. Now this will cost you more than any of the things I mentioned above...of course unless you are a shiftless bum.

    My friend had me over to see his new elk mount on the 7K$ trip he took out west. It was very impressive. If he were a hobbyist I would of showed him the photos of Jennifer in her little black dress and heels and my closeup of Chelsea's ass in her yoga pants. Those are my trophies.
    I always try to determine what a reasonable percentage of total income is to spend on the really fun stuff in life, whether it be escorts, hunting vacation, excess price of a sports car over a basic car, etc. The so-called financial experts never give much guidance.

    I always arrive at 10 percent, but I could make a case for as low as 7.5 percent. Organized religion says 10 percent is how much you should tithe, and they act like that percentage is very insignificant. I suppose people get a tax deduction for that, so maybe it's real percentage is 7.5 percent or so.

    Most societies make their workers pay into a social security system at a 7.5 - 10 percent rate, that is really just younger people giving money to old people. Some of them need it and that is great, but you see plenty of them playing the slots with the money in Vegas. The government always acts like the amount paid into the social security is a pittance.

    If you revisit your younger self in high school struggling with Algebra and reading the Odyssey, and told your younger self you would not be able to truly enjoy at least a dime of every dollar you earn, your younger self would say "fuck it, then" and quit studying. I get no adult enjoyment from either tithing to organized religion or transferring income to old people, so it seems like I should allocate a similar percentage to things I enjoy. Why work and get no enjoyment?

    So if you make $100k, it would seem pretty reasonable in my opinion to allocate somewhere between 7.5k and 10k to luxuries including escorts. How much of that amount is directly spent on escorts would depend on how much enjoyment you get from them, and what corresponding costs such as airfare and hotels you incur.

    Of course the rub is that the guy making 20k would only allocate 1.5 - 2k to this, which doesn't buy as much sex as 7.5 - 10k does, even though they have the same desire. In fact, the guy earning less is likely younger and has more desire. I know of no way to resolve that inherent conflict and I presume that is what EB was referring to when some guys feel they give this up as a result of addiction, but in fact it was lack of available funds.

    Montreal's strong agency system keeps overall prices down, but discourages the solution to this problem that occurs in some other markets. A younger, lower earning John might be perceived by some younger, independent escorts as being relatively more attractive and he might have more in common with her than an older guy. So if he repeats a lot, she might offer him a discount.

  14. #14
    Registered User
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    Quote Originally Posted by Splotch View Post
    Now I guess I'll continue in this path, but with moderation and wiseness (as much as possible!)
    some might take a different path

    The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom
    -William Blake


  15. #15
    I would also tell those new to the hobby that SP's are wonderful to relieve the short-term pressure, of either a no-sex marriage or a single guy too busy to find a mate, but that they can be just that, a temporary measure. I love SP's when I don't have any other alternative, but I also use that time to search for a non-SP partner, that is as wild about sex as I am. They are out there, trust me. Put in a bit of work on yourself - look good, stay current so you can speak intelligently to anyone you meet, and don't come off as desperate - and put yourself in a position to meet as many women as possible. I met my latest lover at a function, while with my wife. The woman blew my mind, and the feeling was mutual. It has been 2 years of sexual olympics, without a penny spent, other than the odd hotel room, and no attachments, no guilt on either side. It can be done.

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