Losing virginity to sp....

DisguisedToast said:

This is my first post so Im losing my Merb virginity.

Just wanted to give some perspective as I was in the same boat when I was younger and did do what you mentioned. I was a student at the time. It was the best thing I have ever done for myself. Once I lost my v card, sex wasn't a big deal anymore and I started being able to get women on my own. The first time I was so nervous I couldn't even finish so don't worry if that happens. I don't agree that the SP will ruin other girls for you. Going to a good restaurant won't ruin Mac and cheese for you either. Besides, I've slept with women who are better than any SP I ever saw. I recommend you see several 3-4 SPs over a period of a few days and do the same the following week. And maybe a few a couple months after. (thats what I did) It is expensive but as someone who has gone through what you are going through, I can tell you it is worth it. Going to a shrink might be more expensive and may not work so it is worth every cent depending on how you value your happiness. I do not rely on SPs now and am more confident, higher self-esteem and have no trouble with women since. Good luck.

Lose your virginity asap. It's not a big deal. Also, go to the gym and quit your drugs. If I was a woman and read your self pitying post I wouldn't want to sleep with you either. So yet a grip. Stop making a big deal about it. Lose your v card and man up and do something productive.

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Thread dates from back to 2017. The guy wih the cocaine problem has probably lost his "v-card" a while ago.


Im personally past a certain point in life where I dont care about being a virgin per say. Wetting your dick aint nothing to be proud of unless youre in your teenage years. Its certainly not something you'd think would change your life either past those influencable years.
Being able to pleasure a woman is way above in my priorities than just getting my dick wet (sry for the expression).

Just gonna leave on that note. That last paragraph is nothing but machismo bullshit only a uneducated fool would be ok with posting. Respect is earned, and you have a long way to go still if your definiition of productivness in life is chasing tail and wetting something that you seem to be trying to overcompensate for with that arrogant as fuck attitude in that post of yours.

No one is the same and situations obviously differs per individuals.

And I would say the hang up for most that lose their virgnity pretty late IS about not being adequate enough to please a woman, not losing the "v-card" per say. There are different ways to please a woman than to stick it in. And no, I wouldnt go so far as to go with 3-4 different service providers in a simple matter of days just to get experience.

Also, I seriously hope its the last time I hear someone recommending a escort instead of a psychiatrist/shrink for someone searching for happiness when dealing with mental health issues or addictivness. Thats just a terrible point of view that should be kept to itself.

AlexB. said:

Thread dates from back to 2017. The guy wih the cocaine problem has probably lost his "v-card" a while ago.


Im personally past a certain point in life where I dont care about being a virgin per say. Wetting your dick aint nothing to be proud of unless youre in your teenage years. Its certainly not something you'd think would change your life either past those influencable years.
Being able to pleasure a woman is way above in my priorities than just getting my dick wet (sry for the expression).

Just gonna leave on that note. That last paragraph is nothing but machismo bullshit only a uneducated fool would be ok with posting. Respect is earned, and you have a long way to go still if your definiition of productivness in life is chasing tail and wetting something that you seem to be trying to overcompensate for with that arrogant as fuck attitude in that post of yours.

No one is the same and situations obviously differs per individuals.

And I would say the hang up for most that lose their virgnity pretty late IS about not being adequate enough to please a woman, not losing the "v-card" per say. There are different ways to please a woman than to stick it in. And no, I wouldnt go so far as to go with 3-4 different service providers in a simple matter of days just to get experience.

Also, I seriously hope its the last time I hear someone recommending a escort instead of a psychiatrist/shrink for someone searching for happiness when dealing with mental health issues or addictivness. Thats just a terrible point of view that should be kept to itself.

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Oops. I thought this post was more recent. My bad. I mean, I saw a bit of my younger self in this guy and simply wanted to help him. I posted what in my opinion would have helped me the most back in the day. If you don't like my advice or find that my "machismo" or whatever is offensive or something, please move on or have a moderator delete it.

Oh and btw, your comment about uneducated fools and productivity made me chuckle because I'm a postdoc and you're just some guy experiencing the Dunning-Kruger effect first-hand.

You bumped this thread asking for advice so don't flame people and say their point of view should be kept to themselves when you don't like the advice you recieve. You're more arrogant than a billionaire's daughter's chihuahua.

AlexB. said:

Being able to pleasure a woman is way above in my priorities than just getting my dick wet (sry for the expression).

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Pleasuring a woman is exactly like playing golf.

At first even tho it looks so easy you simply suck. Partners will say it's ok great shot great game but hey you know this is bulshit. Still hey you get hooked rapidly to it because it's such a difficult challenge and the playing game is so fucking nice so you practice and practice and my god here and there you start to have some great shots

Then all of a sudden you start to dig it great with regularity It's in the bag you think... They are all mines, bring on the pussy! Oups the holes I mean. But nooooooooooo as once in a while you still mis-hit and suck. What the fuck you think it's so easy how come she was not mine... You think fuck just play nice around the greens then hole it... What could be wrong with something so basic?? Simple. You overthink it. You forgot how simple the game is and mostly you forgot to play the shots according to the course and more specifically according to your situation on the course

One thing helps. Aging. You start to dose your agresivity to only a few important moment on the course. This is not by choice but because your body cannot do otherwise anymore. You start to use trick and toys in your bag. Your partner start to really like you a lot because of your sagesse. You hardly never make any mistake anymore. She is 20 years younger but feel like a princess with you. But if it was your choice, you would probably hit and pound like a madmen like you used to in your younger years and try for hole in one on every hole

Cheers,

jalimon said:

Pleasuring a woman is exactly like playing golf.

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No, it is not like playing golf. Do you get a hole in one every time you play golf?

jalimon said:

One thing helps. Aging. You start to dose your agresivity to only a few important moment on the course. This is not by choice but because your body cannot do otherwise anymore. You start to use trick and toys in your bag. Your partner start to really like you a lot because of your sagesse. You hardly never make any mistake anymore. She is 20 years younger but feel like a princess with you. Cheers,

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Interesting analogy Jalimon. When we're young we're afraid of getting old, however like many things in life you become more effective with experience and age.

I found that when you're a virgin male, women tell you, teachers tell you, parents tell you, even church tells you: "Don't worry, it will all come naturally when it happens, and you should keep this magic moment for the right person". However, that's complete bullshit and it's also why we feel stupid/fooled/inadequate/ridiculous to see an SP for our first time.

The reality of the matter, for a male, is that the woman expects you to lead. It all feels natural for her, of course! But for us, we need to know how to turn her on and get her into the mood, excite her physically, where to touch her and how. And there IS a method to this madness but a virgin or low experience woman does not even know herself what turns her on! (for e.g. should you squeeze her breast, only touch them gently and softly or both? Depends on the girl, but when she does not know herself you are bound to make mistakes!). We also must be experts in the feminine anatomy, having never/rarely seen a real vulva in flesh as they hide it from us! lol! We need to know how it works, where is the clit, how to touch it (some prefer no direct contacts, some do!), how to masturbate her and make her excitation go up, make her wet but not make her wait too long (how long is too long?), where to put your dick and in what angle and position. Sounds simple but it's not at all like the porn movies you may have seen when you're the actor! And all this while being excited, maintaining a good erection, and being able to give her an orgasm and also get one as we do all this! Good sex has to go somewhere, at a certain pace, in a crescendo toward the O. But how do you know that pace if you've never done it? It will all come naturally? Bullshit!

I'm not saying this is not fun. I'm saying it is far from spontaneous and instinctive, you gotta learn it. So you must find a girl that has patience with you to let you repeat and practice and also has no expectation of your performance. And that does not happen usually unless you are a model-type sexy guy that they fall for! An experienced lover will always beat you at this, even if he's not that good looking. But how can you compete if nobody gives you a chance? And as a young man the more you wait (she gives you the girly excuse that she's not "ready" yet), the more the other males around you become experienced and you're not. This is why the good guys get cheated on by their girlfriends who go see badboys!!! I've seen this through my life time and time again. It only happened to other men, not to me of course! (or maybe???)

So, in the end and in my view, given the reality and the pragmatic aspect of sex, having your first sex with someone who is experienced and whom you pay to help you discover and make your beginners mistakes is not that bad an idea at all. I did and it helped me tremendously. If anything, I regret that I waited to do it. But you have to find a partner SP who will know about your situation and be understanding willing to be human and less mechanical with you. These women are gems, as professionals and as a person. It will help you learn the technical and mechanical aspect of it and will allow you to eventually do it "naturaly" with the girl you love. How could she complain if the end-result is that you now know how to satisfy her?

Patron said:

this concept of an experience with a prostitute being an educational experience is also questionable.

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Patron said:

The advantage of losing male virginity to a prostitute is simply to start the process of obtaining sex, which will lead to better sex down the road as experience is obtained. It makes a guy less inhibited, so he is more likely to feel comfortable discussing sex with future partners to discover what she likes (since they are all different). And for some sheltered guys, it decreases the possibility that he ends up in a relationship with a more experienced but manipulative woman who takes advantage of his belief that she is the only one who wants him and that he should reward that too highly.

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So Patron, are you for or against it? Not clear to me.

You can only have a first time once. Its a matter of remembering the experience. In the same vein i still remember my first live show of a music band and how special it was. How it was "unknown territory" for me, between the exitement of what happened both during and before/after the show.

Maybe down the road as you age it does not hold the same value as it once did, i mean when your 60+ years old do you remember your first time as much as 2 years after it happened? Probably not. But i would say it probably keep a great value until your ready to move on the next step (familly/kids etc)

In any case its mostly psychological. Everybody want there first time to be perfect, but its understandable even if psychological.

Patron said:

No offense meant guys, but this is a ridiculous thread.

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Not to the 30 year old virgin.

Dick Hardwood said:

Not to the 30 year old virgin.

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Maybe but they should read carefully both of Patron's post. If one is still virgin at 30 it's mostly because he is way over his head. Some will say you can only have a first time once... I do not agree at all. It's putting way too much pressure on something so simple a fucking a girl (sorry for my language...).

We live only once for Christ sake! Just put the rubber on the stick and conquer! Stop thinking!

My 2 cents,
Cheers,

Losing virginity to an SP can be pleasant or traumatising. To get a uncaring SP that rushes the guy through will give him a bad experience.

Eye in the Sky said:

Losing virginity to an SP can be pleasant or traumatising. To get a uncaring SP that rushes the guy through will give him a bad experience.

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Since the op seek advice here it should be a safe bet to say he will chose the correct girl to pop the nut for the first time

Cheers,

Eye in the Sky said:

Losing virginity to an SP can be pleasant or traumatising. To get a uncaring SP that rushes the guy through will give him a bad experience.

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Agreed, you should select her carefully. However in today's world, with all the review systems available, it reduces the risks.

If you're the 30years old virgin people have been talking about, you better start developing your skills with women because other men around have and you will be left alone. And if you have been saving yourself for the "right one", like one of my friend, nothing before the mariage, and you find yourself at 30 and not having done anything yet, it's about time you get on to it. It's not that he's "not normal". He's been brainwashed by the very strict religion (Jehovah Witness) he was raised in. But now that he find himself rejecting all of these "teachings" bitterly, he's past 30 and still a virgin, and he just does not know how to do it. He's very clumsy with normal girls. He's had girlfriends, in his world, totally platonic relationships! Whatever some of you say, there is a way, an approach, a "technique" that women expect you, as the man and the leader, to know and be skilled at. Women don't jump into bed because you say so, except for these uncaring rushing SPs. They expect to be courted/flirted with at least minimally, excited and put in the right mood. He's not a bad looking guy, but certainly not a knockout so what he's missing is those social skills!

I would be so bitter, and he is! I've told him he should go to see an indépendant companion, a patient lady, but religion brainwash still has the better of him. To him, it is like molesting a lady…. "Oh my god" would be the right exclamation here….

Losing virginity to SP is not most guys first choice, it is second choice 15 years later.

In and Out said:

Losing virginity to SP is not most guys first choice, it is second choice 15 years later.

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Agreed, it's nobody teenage dream. We all want to share this moment with the girl of our dream, our high-school sweetheart, in an intimate, sometimes awkward yet fun and memorable time.

But teenage goes by fast, our dream girl did it with the high-school's bad boy, our high-school sweetheart was "not ready yet", we were too shy, teased, bullied, ignored, we moved and found ourselves new in a group of already tightly knit people, or any other real life event or combination of the above.

When reality catches up, when school has been over for a while, and the choice is between an SP or waiting god only knows how much longer, many people consider pragmatically this choice. Ask the SPs around...

If you've been lucky, InandOut, and had your first time with the pretty, loving and caring girl of your choice, then cherish your luck. But I hope you will agree the importance of this first time eventually fades when the real sex-life kicks in in our lives. And that is the real important part. One's first step is only the first step of a journey, and that journey is the interesting part.

Pauvre toi Jimmyk2! Je peux juste imaginer.....

Je ne fais pas la promotion d'avoir sa première fois avec une SP. Je dis que dans certains cas, et que pour moi en tout cas, avoir sa première expérience avec une fille douce, patiente et pas intimidée/gênée par la sexualité, que tu paye pour ça et qui le sait, ça peut être correcte, par oposition à faire ça avec une fille qui veut qu'on l'impressionne, ou blonde potentielle qui a des attentes élevées. Il arrive un âge/un moment où les filles avec qui on entretient des relations romantiques ou un flirt s'attendent à ce qu'on sache quoi faire. (en tout cas celles que j'ai rencontrées, je sais pas vous autres!) Et c'est pas trop winner d'être maladroit parce que c'est notre première fois... ça fait pas trop mâle alpha!

Lorsque tu passes tout droit l'âges des première relations, à cause de la religion comme pour mon chum, ou parce que t'est pas un canon de beauté, parce que t'es timide ou autre, c'est difficile. Les filles "civiles" s'attendent à une certaine maturité et une certaine aisance d'un gars de 20, 25, 30 ans, elles veulent être minimalement séduite, qu'on sache comment jouer le jeu avec elles. Écoutez un peu les émissions de télé de filles si vous ne me croyez pas!!! Et puisqu'on a pas eu l'occasion de développer ces habiletés, on passe tout droit encore et on a encore moins d'habiletés et on est encore plus timide. C'est un cercle vicieux (sans jeu de mots!!!). Comment arrêter ça? C'est dans ces cas-là que je crois que les SP peuvent être une bonne idée.

Hmm losing your virginity is so important to you. I'd recommend adult friend finder (if you don't want to go to bars). Put a nice profile picture and I'm pretty sure that you'll find a girl that want totake your virginity as a fetish. I wasn't a virgin the first time i saw an escort and it was still awkward. If I was a virgin then even more awkward. Also, you might get used to the convenience of paying for sex which might fuck up your date life later on.

What if your date life is already fucked up? Insanity is trying the same thing over and over again expecting different results...

(And I should add that no sex also makes you insane for sure!)

Won't get any better.

Maybe.... but would you spend your whole life hoping? What is the breaking point?

Hoping? No. But trying? yes. I didn't see the point of losing your virginity to an escort. You won't feel any better and might even be a waste of money depending who's your first escort. Take your insanity to the gym and build confidence