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Thread: Dinner dates, longer,….. known compensation?

  1. #1

    Dinner dates, longer,….. known compensation?

    I was wondering if anyone had an opinion, or experience with 4/5+ hour, or longer engagements, which include dinner and what one should/could expect the compensation to be. How does one negotiate the gift prior to the event? And for the ladies, how do you,… how do you prefer, to handle the logistics?

    As this is my norm, I have found little consistency as to how this business is conducted amongst Indy’s and HDH providers, which is my first preference.

    With some of the providers, the information is clearly posted. I appreciate this information as it allows me to decide whether or not I am comfortable offering the known compensation while my company and I enjoy a fine meal, which when you include transportation, usually takes approximately 2 hours.

    As I am confused by the disparity, sometimes the information is available.
    Some display a considerable discount, in excess of 30% off the initial hourly rate, an example:

    300per on the first hour for, let’s suggest, the normal course of business, whereas a 5hour dinner date is 1000.
    Yet, in another case, the window of opportunity is based on a 2hour minimum at 550 and a 5hour dinner engagement is 1300. This would equate to a discount of 75 roses or about 6%.

    As we all know, much of the initial correspondence with this type of service is e-mail only. When I have inquired as to extended compensation along with a litany of other considerations such as; scheduling, cuisine preference, dress, event consideration, etc, all of the points are addressed with the exception of compensation. Does anyone know why this information is not always offered? Is there fear that I may be, LE, even though I may have dealt with the agency in the past and everyone knows I am from the states? Is it assumed I should know by simply doing the math? Are longer engagements, very much not the norm? Please be mindful, not all the women, or within any given agency, offer the same rates for their companionship.

    Without knowing, I must assume the worse case will be the top end hourly rate, which is how I load the envelope and actually on 2 occasions have received a refund and much appreciated the honesty, but, had I known initially, I may have considered a longer/different engagement, which an extension at this time, was not possible,… once for me, once for the lady. Not to mention, this was the wrong time for this consideration as, let’s just say, timing is everything. I do not have a problem with the gift compensation,…..I just don’t like giving it away.

    Please, I am not suggesting or hoping for a discount. I believe the ladies should be comfortable with their well-deserved compensation and deserve whatever someone is willing to offer. I am clearly trying to glean information as to the best way to handle this in the immediate part of the process. To afford myself the luxury of weighing the disparity of compensation amongst providers and cover my options before I arrive in Montreal, as I am not comfortable with the surprise or the awkward nature with which this sometimes occurs…….favorably or otherwise.

    I would be appreciative of any suggestions and thankful for any courtesy.

  2. #2
    Quote Originally Posted by regnad
    My invitation was accepted each time.
    I once had dinner date as well. She was very nice and we had a great time. As for the $$$, you talk to each lady and settle with her. I don't think it is a set price, specially if you do the dinner date with indies

    REGNAD's invitation was accepted each time? It sounds like those ladies fell in love with him. Lucky REGNAD

  3. #3

    Pay for the privelege of paying? No thanks.

    Quote Originally Posted by regnad
    In each case we met in in private during the afternoon and prior to the meeting I'd suggested to her that if she'd like to go out for dinner afterward, if she would like to join me for dinner for the pleasure of my company, I would of course pick up the tab and the restaurant of her choice, but I would not be willing to pay her for the time we spent beyond the bedroom. My invitation was accepted each time.
    Hell Reg,

    I'll go to dinner with you in a heartbeat if your paying , or anyone else for that matter! When I'm hungry I'm not about to turn down a free meal! I'm being totally serious here btw. I think Regnads approach to this is an excellent idea! I have always had a problem with the notion of paying for an Sp's company to attend dinner with me when I'm paying the bill. I like fine dining so I don't go cheap, therefore it should be enough that I am picking up an expensive dinner tab. Its not like I'm offering Poutine. To ask for compensation for the privelege of eating a gourmet meal and drinking an expensive bottle of wine or Champagne is actually a total turn off too me and would ruin the intimate part of our meeting.

    Of course this is what they do for a living but it doesn't mean I have to take part in the excesses of it. If they like my company enough and are in the mood for a culinary treat then they can attend dinner with me without being paid for it. If they aren't hungry or have to see another client, or just want to go home and eat their own supper thats fine. I won't take offense to a refusal as long as they don't take offense to my not feeling like "paying for the privelege of paying" for their expensive dinner. I suppose if you like your foreplay ala "Flashdance" (during dinner), then paying for an Sp to go to dinner with you is understandable.

    Me personally, I like to think of eating dinner at a fine restaurant as an intimate experience all its own. I enjoy the sights, sounds, and smells that swirl around the room, the conversations, discussion of the menu with your dining companion and your server, the anticipation after ordering, the excitement of the arrival of the dish, the "mouth orgasm" from the first bite all the way to the final satiation that dessert and coffee bring. The last thing I want is someone trying to run their foot up my crotch! Get that out of here!! I'm trying to eat!! Not too mention that sex competing with food is a horrible idea. I couldn't go to dinner horny so sex has to happen before. Sex after a meal is a horror thought with all that digestion going on, after dinner I'm much more interested in sitting back with a fine cigar and a single malt than giving myself a coronary trying to perform.

    I really don't buy any argument that we should pay because it takes an SP a lot of time to look their best for a dinner date. Thats not reflective of the real truth. That being that they take a lot of time to look good for our intimate time together in the bedroom. More time than most normal women spend doing the same. We pay Sp's to act(usually) and try to look like a woman who is truly interested in us for our intimate encounter unlike the ones we have grown tired of looking at because they are no longer in the "I need a man so I want to look good for him" frame of mind and have let themselves degenerate into double chinned soccer moms in sweats with short hair.

    However, while I appreciate the effort by Sp's to look good for our encounter, I can say with total certainty that I spend nearly as much time trying to look good for them, because it still means a lot to me to look good for myself as well as a woman. That includes a healthy lifestyle to stay in good shape as well as being well groomed, well dressed, clean and smelling good. But alas, once the intimate part of our meeting is over, I feel no urgent need to be with them anymore though that doesn't mean that I haven't found a few who I wouldn't mind getting to know better by spending some time with them over a great meal, at my own expense of course, just not for "Time." I think the time to ask is after your intimate encounter so as to prevent any discomfort between the two of you before intimate relations begin.
    "I can picture every move that a man could make
    getting lost in her loving is your first mistake

    Sometimes I think its a sin
    When I feel like I'm winning when I'm losing again"

  4. #4
    Some agencies list a particular fee for extended or dinner dates that include activity outside the bedchamber and just socializing.

    Though I've never had the notion to do this, my advice would be that if you use an agency, check on their Web site to make sure that they don't have such an extended plan, and if not then ask the SP at toward the end of the session if she'd like to dine with you afterward (obviously, on your tab) and make it clear that it would not be a "paid" session.

    That being said, let me say this: when you go to your mechanic, or your doctor, or when your plumber comes, they get paid for their time. Unless the SP really likes you or is really hungry, it doesn't really seem to me to be fair to ask her to give up her time for free (though she of course has every right to decline, or even tell you to shove off).

    Just my two pennies, FWIW.

  5. #5
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    Why do we all need to argue all the time? lol

    I think there are two situations here: Either you know the girl up front, or you don't. As simple as that. If you don't, then you are nothing else than another client, and as a client she probably has no interest in a dinner with you unless you pay for her time. Granted most agencies offering this as well as some independents have a special rate for dinner dates. If you do know her it's a totally different story. Why would she ask you to pay to have dinner with her? Unless she doesn't like you of course!

    I personally have been on dinner dates on a few occasions, but only once with the same lady. Dinners after with the same ladies were free, normally as an introduction to a wild evening.

    Gentle

  6. #6
    Well said, Gentle. And the instances Regnad cites appear to be in the same ballpark you're talking about.

    I tend not to repeat with anyone (my preference, though if little Racquelle were still around, I would in a heartbeat), so I've never actually developed a "rapport" with an SP to that extent.

  7. #7

    Remember

    You are paying for their time, man, same as any other professional. What you agree to do with the time and how the rates for that are structured are up to the individuals involved.

    For me, sex without context is boring. If I get to know someone a little, and we communicate well, then what follows is MUCH more interesting. That's why I don't mind investing in a dinner and a couple of hours conversation. I like the intellectual foreplay that the right person can bring. It is important to emphasize that--the right person.

    Yes dining itself can be a very sensual experience, and for me that adds another dimension to the evening. Of course, the all-you-can-eat place is out, and usually dessert, too. But a few glasses of wine over a lovely meal...what a natural turn on!



    Quote Originally Posted by HonestAbe
    Hell Reg,

    I have always had a problem with the notion of paying for an Sp's company to attend dinner with me when I'm paying the bill.....To ask for compensation for the privelege of eating a gourmet meal and drinking an expensive bottle of wine or Champagne is actually a total turn off too me and would ruin the intimate part of our meeting.

    Me personally, I like to think of eating dinner at a fine restaurant as an intimate experience all its own. I enjoy the sights, sounds, and smells that swirl around the room, the conversations, discussion of the menu with your dining companion and your server, the anticipation after ordering,
    Last edited by sybaritic; 03-21-2006 at 07:32 PM.
    Memory loves time

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by regnad
    Not quite. In one case, the dinner date was our second meeting, though there were some PM and email exchanges. In both other cases, it was our third meeting. I was no more than a client, but a client who seemed an interesting dinner companion and they chose to join without payment of more than the dinner tab.
    Regnad,

    My comment was meant at a general observation, not specifically related to your own experiences. You're not alone in this world you know.

    Still, you confirm exactly what I was saying: She had met you first, so although you were still a "client", she already knew you were not a jerk and that she would enjoy the dinner.

    Gentle

  9. #9

    My thanks!

    >Either you know the girl up front, or you don't. As simple as that. If you don't, then you are nothing else than another client, and as a client she probably has no interest in a dinner with you unless you pay for her time.<

    Gentle2her:
    Got it! I believe this is the essence of understanding.
    But in the event one is, when you say “pay for her time”, would/should this be full freight? Reduced rate? Should any professional courtesy be extended due to the nature of the rendezvous and length of time committed?
    Should I assume time well spent, is the same regardless of what one is doing, ie: in the room as opposed to dinner or a gallery opening?

    >Some agencies list a particular fee for extended or dinner dates that include activity outside the bedchamber and just socializing.<

    bumfie:
    Absolutely, but some of my appointments go beyond what is listed, if anything is listed at all. My problem arises when this is the case and I have not received any feedback via e-mail or phone on exactly what the compensation will be and not to be confused with confirmation of scheduling. Additionally, I hate negotiating or attempting such upon arrival of my companion, Indy or otherwise, for all the obvious reasons, even if it is with the agency representative during her check-in call. Again, most of my issue, is simply not knowing.

    >Not too mention that sex competing with food is a horrible idea. I couldn't go to dinner horny so sex has to happen before. Sex after a meal is a horror thought with all that digestion going on, after dinner I'm much more interested in sitting back with a fine cigar and a single malt than giving myself a coronary trying to perform.<

    HonestAbe:
    As most of my encounters are dinner first, and I too look forward to a fine cigar and a beaker of vino, I am exactly the opposite and have to agree with:

    Sybaritic:
    >For me, sex without getting to know someone a little is boring. If I get to know someone a little, and we communicate well, then what follows is MUCH more interesting. That's why I don't mind investing in a dinner and a couple of hours conversation. I like the intellectual foreplay that the right person can bring. It is important to emphasize that--the right person.

    Yes dining itself can be a very sensual experience, and for me that adds another dimension to the evening. Of course, the all-you-can-eat place is out, and usually dessert, too. But a few glasses of wine over a lovely meal...what a natural turn on!<

    Thanks to everyone for the constructive thoughts, suggestions and considerations. I now have a greater understanding of how to go about my business and much to think about,…..

    And,……… regnad;
    I, like you,…..love and miss The KINKS.

    No one of us knows more then all of us!

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by asimplepicture
    But in the event one is, when you say “pay for her time”, would/should this be full freight? Reduced rate? Should any professional courtesy be extended due to the nature of the rendezvous and length of time committed?
    Should I assume time well spent, is the same regardless of what one is doing, ie: in the room as opposed to dinner or a gallery opening?
    As I said above, "most agencies offering this as well as some independents have a special rate for dinner dates". About half the regular rate sounds acceptable to me. And then you get to know the lady and it all depends on you, her, and a number of factors.

  11. #11
    Here is the way I figure it. If you absolutely want to go to dinner with the girl, pay the dinner date rate. If you can do with it or without it, ask near the end of your time together. If she is having a nice time with you, but has no other plans, she may accept, or she may point out that she has a dinner date rate. Either way, no harm no foul.

    I go occasionally along with an impromptu dinner or lunch (I believe I have with regnad), but it is not the norm, since I generally have other plans for the evening after a rendez-vous.

    Most girls don't charge a full rate for dinner dates, and as I mentioned, if a leisurely time is what you prefer - like a little nooky (no, not you NOOKY) some replenishment, and then some bedside desert service, dinner dates may be the way to go!

    xoxox
    Anik

  12. #12

    Lucky eightball.....

    Gentle2her:
    .....got it!, Sorry for any confusion.
    Thanks again, and to all,.......you too Anik!

    regnad:
    Thanks for the heads-up on Ray, unfortunately, I will not be back in Montreal for about another three weeks. If I am not mistaken, I believe he is in Philly tonight, would not have been able to pull this offer either, during the week is tough.
    Also, I believe at Irving Plaza, "the big stink", this Saturday, heard SRO at a very high price-point is all that's available, and then theres Boston on the 28th followed by Toronto on the 30th.

    I was unaware of the show in Montreal on the 29th, hope ya get to go!
    Do not know how many more opp's one might have,......or Ray for that matter.

    Thanks!

  13. #13

    Thumbs down Exactly

    Quote Originally Posted by Just-ass-weet
    If you absolutely want to go to dinner with the girl, pay the dinner date rate. If you can do with it or without it, ask near the end of your time together. If she is having a nice time with you, but has no other plans, she may accept, or she may point out that she has a dinner date rate.


    Either way, no harm no foul.
    Perfectly put Anik,

    Take whatever approach is right for you to fulfill your own desires, if that means paying for dinner and time then thats what you do. If on the other hand as you said so well, "you can do with or without it", then pop the question after the festivities are done and tell her where you have reservations. I can't think of too many people who would turn down an invite to a FREE sumptous feast at a 4 star restaurant IF they had nothing else pressing to do. Especially if the person making the offer is interesting, well mannered, and doesn't look like a troll.

    The way I see it a free meal is a free meal and I'll go to a 4 star restaurant with most anyone who knows how to hold a fork and chew with their mouth closed if they are picking up the check. I'm certainly not going to enjoy my Lobster tails and Filet Mignon any less if they decline. I won't even waste my time trying to figure out why, for all I know they might prefer Poutine to Prime beef.
    "I can picture every move that a man could make
    getting lost in her loving is your first mistake

    Sometimes I think its a sin
    When I feel like I'm winning when I'm losing again"

  14. #14
    Having dinner in the company of am escort is surely an added value compared to eating alone or with a business colleague. But the escort's time may be more valuable spent on her business than on a free dinner. So paying extra for a dinner date seems natural to me, but how much? Perhaps an agency escort who is usually booked all evening will place a higher value on her time than an independent who has more leisure time.

    I remember asking Tina of Heartbreakers in the 90's about taking an escort for dinner afterwards, but I lost interest when I realized that the $100/hour rate during dinner would probably amount to more than a 1-hour $150 session. More recently, I have had dinner dates with an independent who accepted my impulse offer of a fixed amount. Would she have had dinner with me for free? Perhaps on an occasion. But I would feel guilty that she sacrificed her time so as not to hurt our relationship. I think paying extra makes it more comfortable for both parties.

    I would guess that many clients would add on dinner time if the extra cost was half of the 1-hour fee.

  15. #15

    But, my pantheist friend...

    That is exactly what you did when you paid someone to travel with you! And you crowed about it for days. You just got it as a package deal. You are paying for the time.

    Quote Originally Posted by regnad
    I would never, ever pay someone to dine with me. If I, during our private time, find her interesting enough that I might enjoy her company for dinner, I might offer the invitiation.
    Methinks you have pulled the wool over your own eyes, or perhaps you've been too much smoking from pan's pipe.
    Last edited by sybaritic; 03-23-2006 at 07:07 AM.
    Memory loves time

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