Montreal Escorts

Taking a break from hobbying

General Gonad

Enlightened pervert
Dec 31, 2005
3,463
6
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I have been contemplating a break from hobbying for a while now. This is an indefinite break. For the most part, I have enjoyed meeting wonderful ladies that I shared a lot more than just sex with. But there are many aspects of hobbying that do not sit well with me, chief among them is that it is a struggle for me to lead a double life.

I have tried hard to "rationalize" my decision to meet women for brief encounters in order to share a good time with but in the end, as much as I lie to myself, I realize that the more I hobby, the more I am avoiding personal issues that need to be dealt with. These issues will not go away and hobbying just "anesthetizes" me from dealing with them.

Life takes us to all sorts of places. You do not know where you'll end up. I know that I do not regret my decision to hobby but I also feel that it was a cop out of sorts for me. Instead of having the courage to deal with personal problems, I tried to avoid them.

I wish all the ladies that I have met or contacted all the best in their lives. You all deserve health and happiness. I also appreciated many exchanges on this board and I wish all of you the very best in your futures.

Before I take this much needed break, however, I will post my final review of a very special lady I met with last night.;)

GG
 

docprostate

Membre émérite.
Feb 10, 2006
62
0
0
I agree, ...

... meeting women for brief encounters doesn't solve our own personal problems. Nobody should expect a psychotherapy from SP or MP. This is not fair for them.

Best wishes ...
 

General Gonad

Enlightened pervert
Dec 31, 2005
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oliver kloseoff said:
very intersting topic
as well i agree with regnad that you are a valuable contributor and would like to see you continure to do so
best wishes
oliver


Oliver, Regnad and others,

I also enjoy our exchanges and I will see how I shall proceed in terms of my input going forward. My favorite section is always the lounge.;)

All the best,

GG
 

CryWolf

Jack is back
Sep 24, 2005
347
1
0
GG,

I, myself, am living the same personal issues as you are and I'm trying to space seeing SP's. I'm not at a crossroad yet.

There is a radical way to stop hobbying : stop logging on MERB.

Yes, you read it right...MERB is so addictive, you log in at work, at home, before going to bed, etc..On MERB, temptation is king. So many juicy reviews and promos and pics.

I'm not ready yet to throw in the towel....:eek:

Another way to stop hobbying is to go broke or cut off you know what. Men tend to think with that thing hanging between their legs.
 

General Gonad

Enlightened pervert
Dec 31, 2005
3,463
6
0
CryWolf said:
GG,

There is a radical way to stop hobbying : stop logging on MERB.

Yes, you read it right...MERB is so addictive, you log in at work, at home, before going to bed, etc..On MERB, temptation is king. So many juicy reviews and promos and pics.


CryWolf,

You may be right but I feel that I have the inner strength to do this now. Without going into details, I know what is important in my life and I can persevere and avoid temptation. The more I think about it, the more I am confident about my decision. Again, life throws us all a bunch of curveballs and we need to deal with them and be honest with ourselves. After all, no matter how hard you try, you cannot lie to yourself.

When you reach the crossroad, you'll know exactly what I am talking about. You will not question yourself but rather feel secure that you're taking the necessary steps to find your inner peace.

GG
 

Just-ass-weet

New Member
Jan 9, 2006
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I told you that you were going to stop this soon!

I am so proud of you!

Know that we will miss you very much on this board... xoxox Anik
 

General Gonad

Enlightened pervert
Dec 31, 2005
3,463
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Big Daddy Cool said:
Good luck Double G. You hit the nail on the head and I wish you all the best in health, love and sucess in the world. You are one of Gods special children and know you will be well looked out for. We'll miss you buddy.


Big Daddy,

You are a class act as well and I hope you also find what you're looking for.;)

>>Sweet Anik, what can I say, you knew my decision was inevitable and I honestly think you're a sweetheart who deserves the best.;)

I will be here off and on contributing some material but I do plan on cutting it down considerably. It is up to each one of you to elevate the discussion and be relentlessly critical on those who try to bring it down to mediocre levels.

Retired GG
 

CryWolf

Jack is back
Sep 24, 2005
347
1
0
10-4Roger said:
GG
I faced somewhat the same. Here an alternative : if you have built-up a particular relation with one of the girl , I mean , seeing her out-side of the job , you see the human being . Than knowing her limits , you know how you can trust her. Than , open your own parlor with her has receptionist-manager. You will still be in contact on a different level, and believe me , a much better different level emotionally , physically and financially . Just do it ! I know what I am talking about.

Roger,

I don't think GG is dealing with that kind of issue. Having read his posts, I think I know what's bugging him.

We wish him well, one day I'll walk that path too. :eek:
 

General Gonad

Enlightened pervert
Dec 31, 2005
3,463
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10-4 Roger,

I got to agree with CryWolf on this - I am not interested in opening anything up in the sex industry. I will, however, keep in touch with some of the ladies because I find them interesting and I can definetely see myself treating them to a lunch or dinner.

GG
 

General Gonad

Enlightened pervert
Dec 31, 2005
3,463
6
0
sapman99 said:
While this time is somewhat similar, I find these encounters are also helping me define what I'm looking for in a relationship. And because I feel like I'm having fun and discovering things, I'm not in a hurry. Which also seems to increase my attractiveness level...

When the time comes for me, it will be a lot like GG: inner strength to resist, smile on my face at the memories, and sadness for the missed companionship.

Long live General Gonad!

Sapman99,

Thanks for the kind words. I agree with you that SPing can be an important process of self-discovery, especially if you take the time to talk to these women, not just have sex with them. There are no meaningful residuals to sex but there can be a lot to learn from SPs if you open your ears and your heart.

On the inner strength. We all have inner strength to make decisions. Some of us have a little more perspective on what really matters in life. Temptation will always be there. You're going to see a bunch of women springing up with great reviews on this board. But where does it all end? We are insatiable beasts looking for ephemeral moments of pleasure to dull the pain of reality. But you cannot continue this in perpetuity until you realize one day: "What is the meaning to all this? Where am I heading?"

I am, of course, exaggerating but not by much. The whole sex industry - and many others as well - is built on this principle of immediate self-gratification. Ultimately, no matter how enjoyable these encounters are, they cannot fill any deep void that eats away at your soul. You have to try and take them for what they are - a brief moment of pleasure where if you're lucky, you'll meet someone special.

>>10-4 Roger, I agree that mentoring someone is a lot more gratifying than simply sharing a good time. Taking some time to actually listen to someone's problems and provide them with guidance is worth a lot more than the dollars that they receive for their services. Money is bullshit but good advice and a shoulder to lean on when the chips are down - now that is priceless!

There are not enough good mentors in this world...

GG
 
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Robin

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Mar 11, 2003
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General Gonad said:
But you cannot continue this in perpetuity until you realize one day: "What is the meaning to all this? Where am I heading?"
What? You mean we can't hobby for ever? I keep wondering about such frequent casualties with good reviewers dropping out of hobbying life, while I have been bullet-proof for so long. I wish you all the best GG and hope that your afterlife from this escort world brings true happiness.
 

General Gonad

Enlightened pervert
Dec 31, 2005
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Robin said:
What? You mean we can't hobby for ever? I keep wondering about such frequent casualties with good reviewers dropping out of hobbying life, while I have been bullet-proof for so long.

Robin,

You are a veteran and respected member of this board. At one point, people either accept that they will hobby for the rest of their lives or they quit, possibly to start again in a moment of weakness. Did you have phases where you questioned the hobby and what you were getting out of it?

I struggled with the hobby lately so instead of continuing, I think it is time to reassess and figure out exactly what I want out of life and my relationship. I think I owe it to myself and my wife to try and resolve some issues. I don't think hobbying has anything to do with these issues but it doesn't help because you avoid discussion.

But even if I don't resolve these issues and we separate or divorce, I find it hard to continue seeing SPs. Why? Because you meet a great lady and you want to build on it but you can't. You have to accept that the relationship will not progress beyond a certain point. This also bothers me because I am a builder at heart - I think there is something intrinsically beautiful about building a solid relationship.

This morning, I had to write to two wonderful ladies cancelling our dates. Trust me, it wasn't easy. One in particular really got under my skin in our conversations and she offered to meet me tomorrow. They both intrigued me and they both radiate class and sophistication. But if I am not there in spirit, why bother meeting them?

One nice SP emailed me today to tell me to resolve my personal issues before considering coming back to the hobby. I think that is sound advice. At one point, you get caught up in a game that never ends. There will always be another gem you absolutely want to meet and you can always tell yourself "ok just one more and then I am done." It simply never ends.

We all know of the myth of Sisyphus where the gods had condemned Sisyphus to ceaselessly rolling a rock to the top of a mountain, whence the stone would fall back of its own weight. They had thought with some reason that there is no more dreadful punishment than futile and hopeless labor.

My nightmare would be to get involved in many sessions with SPs where I would ceaselessly search for the next new gem but keep falling back to the same emotional level and never progress on the emotional front.

GG
 

Techman

The Grim Reaper
Dec 23, 2004
4,199
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GG,

This is a difficult "hobby" to be involved in, whether it's the sp or, for me, the dancer part of it. It's hard enough for us single guys and we have no one else to answer to in our minds or conscience but ourselves. The risk of wanting more from a lady when you are married or have a gf in your life must be a difficult thing to deal with, especially when there are other issues in your life that must be resolved. I wish you all the best in getting things back on the road to where you want them to be. The board will miss you.

Techman
 

CryWolf

Jack is back
Sep 24, 2005
347
1
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Daringly said:
To GG
In my own opinion if you are going to get out of the hobby the first thing you do if you are serious, is never log in to this site again. I think for those who are hobbyiests and live in montreal the temptation would be to much. This site fuels the fire. It in a way it would be the same as an alcoholic who says he is serious about quitting drinking but says he is still going to go to the stripclubs and just drink coke, he is on borrowed time. I wish you the best of luck, but it will be 10 times harder to give up this hobby if you are on this board all the time.

Daringly, that was exactly my point at post # 7. It's tough to let go of the hobby if you keep logging to MERB.

But GG already said that he has the inner strength to combat the temptation.

Only time will tell.
 

Gentle2her

New Member
Nov 15, 2004
176
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0
Montreal
I'm not a veteran like others who posted in this thread, but I also think the only way you can achieve your goal and stop hobbying for good is to stop reading MERB (and escort agency sites, duh!). If you continue to come here, it's only a matter of time because you're tempted again by this or that girl, based on serie of glowing reviews you will read here. You may tell yourself that by only checking the lounge you're safe, but no.

Suggestion: Find another hobby, something you can devote yourself 100% into, and just forget about MERB altogether. Try a new sport, discover skydiving, buy a motorcycle and go on trips, whatever it is. But do something else.

Suggestion no 2: Don't ever come back in downtown Montreal in summer time! :p

Good luck

Gentle
 

Gentle2her

New Member
Nov 15, 2004
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femaleluver2 said:
I also wonder whether the avoiding-to-log-onto-merb deal isn't a bit simplistic and naive.
Une chaine n'est jamais plus forte que son maillion le plus faible (I don't know the corresponding English expression).

MERB (or any sex related board) is just one of the most obvious way to get back on the wrong path. That's all. Inner strenght is definitely the key, but better put all chances on your side. Ever felt like "oh my, I have to meet THIS girl" after reading tons of reviews about a girl? He better be strong to resist that urge if he keeps reading!

Besides, porn is only something that gets you in the mood to ... [fill in the blanks :p], but it doesn't help doing it. MERB helps you choose a girl you can REALLY get with, beyond just the fantasy that porn is. Much more dangerous IMHO.
 
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chef

Foodie
Nov 15, 2005
889
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Gentle2her said:
Une chaine n'est jamais plus forte que son maillion le plus faible (I don't know the corresponding English expression).

..........................................

English: A chain is only as strong as its weakest link (slightly different from the exact translation - a chain is never stronger than its weakest link).
 

MakeIt

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Feb 6, 2004
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General Gonad said:
But there are many aspects of hobbying that do not sit well with me, chief among them is that it is a struggle for me to lead a double life.
GG

GG

Thanks for raising this issue as it is starting to affect me as well. It wasn't clear in my mind but in a couple of sentences you've really nailed it. I have not yet reached that crossroad yet mainly because I do not think I hobby as intensely as you (based on # of reviews and comments). However, I can see it coming. There are a couple of the ladies where I have become fairly friendly and I sense that as I increase hobbying this will become a bigger issue since when I connect with someone, I don't always leave it at the hotel room door.

Like you, I have an existing relationship. Unfortunately, its being neglected as I get involved in this other life and I need to deal with this. While hobbying is fun and allows me access to beautiful ladies I would never had met otherwise, I don't see where it can lead to without having a negative impact on the rest of my life. I find it even difficult sometimes to be a contributor on MERB when I am not honest and violate certain values in my other life.

I wish you the best of luck in dealing with your issues. This is certainly the right thing to do. You've contributed a lot of good threads here and elevated the use our brains and feelings. Perhaps my crossroad is not so far away. I also look forward to you next and last review.

MakeIt
 

Doc Holliday

Hopelessly horny
Sep 27, 2003
19,290
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Deep thoughts from Doc

I'm surprised to hear that you're planning to leave the hobby, GG. I'm both disappointed and happy for you. Disappointed because you're a great contributor to the board(s) and a credit to the hobbying community, but happy for you since hobbying is not what life is all about and it has a tendency to consume and make people obsess about it.

I think everyone's been at the point you're at, including myself. Nearly 6 years ago, i was about to kiss the hobby goodbye....i had contemplated it for nearly a year. I had only met 3 girls at the time. Had a great time with my first one, awful time with my second one (which made me wonder if i was made out for this stuff), and a very good time with the third one, who rarely did this but would do it to pay the bills once or twice a month. It was even more refreshing in later years since she had achieved her career objectives and i'd see her on tv regularly. I'd think to myself: "Hey, i drank some wine and made love to that girl!" Then....i'd start questionning myself and where my life was heading. Yes, i wasn't crazy about leading a double-life. I wondered if i should feel ashamed of myself. "What has my life become?", i'd often ask myself. So...i decided to see one last sp on my next trip, which occurred 3 months later. I met a great young lady named Racquelle...saw her exclusively for a year, and the day she told me that she had no objections and actually encouraged me to see other 'girls', my life took on another path. It was at that point that Vinnie (from Canbest) turned into Doc Holliday......and that life took on a life of its own.

Our perceptions change throughout years of hobbying. In my first 2 years, i thought i knew the ropes and i basically didn't know as much as i thought i did. I was very naive and often trusted the wrong people. I falsely imagined that everyone in this business was decent and i wouldn't hesitate to trust them with 'inside' information. I also believed that some hobbyists had become friends of mine, only to later find out that they had been scheming against me and that i was often being set up. Jealousy has no bounds and the obsession over a woman can often cause friction over the best of friends.

Well, over the last 2-3 years, hobbying has become rather dull and uninteresting. At least, i can't say the same thing about the boards. Why am i still an occasional hobbyist? More than anything, it's a reason to keep in touch with the various friends i've made in this business throughout the years. My 'dates' routine has also changed considerably. Three to four years ago, i used the tv show 'Blind Date' and 'The Bachelor' as a model for my encounters, which would last 2 hrs at the minimum, and with an HDH most of the time (at first). I would get dressed up in casual attire (or purchase a brand new suit prior to my initial encounter with a top HDH), get the wine bottle ready, spice up the room, the lighting...put on a CD in my CD player....and 'become' Doc Holliday. I had some great moments and great times...but it eventually became quite an expensive hobby and i realized that at the pace i was going, it wouldn't last very long unless i made some drastic changes.

These last few years....well, let's just say that i haven't seen many different girls. I'd honestly say that there are only 1-2 girls that i'd still want to see, but it's due to friendship and chemistry more than anything else. As i explained to some people recently, i now considering hobbying a total waste of hard-earned money. Like some people are against gambling because they're against throwing away that hard-earned money of theirs, i also consider hobbying as the same.....like throwing away my hard-earned cash to a one-armed bandit in a casino. How much for the girl? $180?? Poof!! Gone in one hour with only a faint memory to show for it. How much? $450?? Ouch!! Poof!! Money all disappeared again with not much to show for it.

So what i'm saying is that there is still a slight reason (for me) to justify hobbying, and it mostly has to do with satisfying the odd sexual need. One hour only.....rarely two hours. Never over $200 thrown away. No more 1 hour+ discussions over a bottle of wine or two. Real hobbying....chit-chat for 10 minutes or so, then time to take care of the TLC. TLC over, more chit-chat, shower, then it's aurevoir and a-la-prochaine fois. Nothing complicated, nothing to regret about. A $160-180 spent that served it's purpose. It's been a while that i haven't done this (recent reviews of mine were taken from past encounters that i hadn't yet posted about), and i don't know when there will be a next time. But i'm sure there will be one....but for the right reasons.

General Gonad, it's been a pleasure, and i hope that we continue to keep in touch. You are one of the many good guys i've been in contact with over the past 6+ years of hobbying. The best of luck.........and it won't be easy, trust me.
 
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Just-ass-weet

New Member
Jan 9, 2006
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I am proud of anyone who takes the time to figure out what is best for themselves, alot of people don't bother. I already knew that GG was going to get out of this hobbying stuff really soon. I told him the first time I talked to him that I was going to talk him out of this stuff, he is married (contrary to popular belief - most of the guys I see are single, widowers or divorced), obviously loves his wife, and I am a romantic at heart, I love happy endings!

I wouldn't be surprised if he comes back here in a year and posts that his life has never been better! So, I am proud of him...

xoxox
Anik
 
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