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6 Ways To Fight Bad Breath

General Gonad

Enlightened pervert
Dec 31, 2005
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6 Ways To Fight Bad Breath
by Rakesh Singh, TheSoko.com

Remember that time in your life when candy was the only currency that mattered? Life was all about sour keys and pixie sticks. I miss that carefree time. There was one man who ruined candy for me and his name was David Suzuki.

At the tender age of ten, I found a book by David Suzuki geared to children, explaining that cavities are caused by peeing bacteria. The book told me that the bacteria would eat the sugar left on my teeth from eating sweets and release bacterial acid (in the form of digested waste) which cause cavities.

Thoughts of peeing bacteria tormented me throughout the duration of my childhood.

You may be wondering why I started out an article about bad breath with that horrid little story. Well, I did so because it's the same piss happy bacteria that cause bad breath. Nasty little buggers aren´t they?

In most cases, fresh breath can be achieved easily, it is not usually a genetically linked condition. Smoking is a big purveyor of bad breath, so if you choose to light up, prepare a contingency plan. It is almost funny how breath can make or break a person´s impression of you. Studies are showing that people make lasting judgments based on first impressions. Don´t let bad breathe get in the way. A nice smelling mouth can have profound and subtle effects in both the business world and on the dating scene.

These tips will help you avoid having a head full of halitosis.

Electric Toothbrush Bugaloo

Start your day off right and use an electric toothbrush to spit shine your pearly whites. Purchase one of the rechargeable brands that don´t require batteries. These brushes can actually make brushing your teeth enjoyable.

Did you know that you are supposed to brush your teeth for two whole minutes? That may not seem long but virtually nobody brushes for the full length of time. The electric toothbrushes are excellent because they are usually equipped with an automatic timer that signals when your two minutes are up.

Tongue Cleaner & Floss

Utilize these often-forgotten mouth torturing devices to help you get the freshest breath possible. Tongue cleaners are available at your local pharmacy and they will have your mouth feeling so fresh that you´ll wonder how you lived without it.

Floss is useful for removing food that is stuck between your teeth, which feeds the bacteria. Don´t feed the bacteria.

Shut Your Mouth!

You may have the gift of gab like Dante and Randall from Clerks, but it actually pays to shut your mouth sometimes. Saliva is your body´s natural mechanism against the bacteria.

Talking a great deal will dry out your mouth – lawyers, professors, and politicians beware. This has a detrimental effect on your body´s natural defense to flush to bad breath away. Excessive tongue flapping also airs the bad smells out into the world.

Gum

Roald Dahl would probably scoff at the idea of keeping your teeth clean and healthy by gum chewing, but choosing the right kind of gum has a whole host of benefits for your teeth and breath.

Sugar free gum stimulates saliva production by causing the mechanical act of chewing. Trident White gum contains Recaldent which can help remineralize teeth. Just be warned this is a milk derived product so people with allergies should stay away.

Gums containing xylitol also help prevent tooth decay. And in case you didn't notice, gum often comes in pleasant scents like cool mint, cinnamon, and peppermint.

Oral B Brush-ups

Thanks to those stupid dancing commercials, I was convinced that Oral B Brush-ups were some sort of strange finger condom. They are in fact a handy little tool to help your teeth and breath. Try them out!

Food Choices

Avoid red wines, coffee, meat, and garlic. These are the culprits behind halitosis. On the other hand, carrots supposedly help to freshen up your breath. Who knew?

_____________________
breathe easy

While bad breath isn´t the biggest irritation in the world, it´s pretty high up there. We have all had experiences where a close-talker has left us gasping for air at the end of a conversation. So think ahead! Brush for two whole minutes, use a tongue cleaner, and chew some gum – others will thank you.

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Nugie

Village Idiot
Aug 23, 2005
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General Gonad said:
Food Choices

Avoid red wines, coffee, meat, and garlic.

Um... you just named my four major food groups. These standard components are occassionally joined by "salted pig fat (various, fried or otherwise)". Everything else is consumed in such minor quantities as to be labeled "other".
 

General Gonad

Enlightened pervert
Dec 31, 2005
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Nugie said:
Um... you just named my four major food groups. These standard components are occassionally joined by "salted pig fat (various, fried or otherwise)". Everything else is consumed in such minor quantities as to be labeled "other".

Nugie,

This isn't my article, it was on MSN. BTW, I take these articles with a grain of salt. For example, you should avoid mouthwash with alcohol because it dries your mouth and bacteria form. Others say to gargle with salt and a little baking soda and peroxyde.:confused: I know that certain sugarless gums bother me (manitol, sorbitol, etc) and some foods are lethal for your breath but taste great.:D

GG
 

Nugie

Village Idiot
Aug 23, 2005
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Only relevant because it's somewhat hygiene related, so I thought I'd share...

A friend is in a rather remote region of Afghanistan. He was in the field with some locals and he needed to drop a deuce.

The locals were astonished to see toilet paper. They had no idea what he was doing. Apparently, the locals grab rocks or a handful of sand and rub it in there.

No wonder they're so grumpy.
 

General Gonad

Enlightened pervert
Dec 31, 2005
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oliver kloseoff said:
well on topic
a guy i know sits next to me on the bus tongiht--starts to talk to me
smells like he has been eating shit sandwiches all day.
i reach into my pocket and give him some chlorets gum--he just looks at me--i said trust me if you want to make any friends today--most people would just sit and gag--im an afrtamitve action guy.
dont care if he was offended-he could have knocked a buzzard off a shitwaggon from 50 feet with the oder coming out of that hole in his face.
oliver

"Where is the cat? What cat? The one that died in your intestines!":eek:
 

Nugie

Village Idiot
Aug 23, 2005
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One of my bosses is a woman who is extraordinarily large. I mean, Orca fat. She hasn't seen her feet in decades.

She smells like a geriatric ward of a hospital - that is, "I can't exactly wipe very well".

Plus, you know she isn't shaving, so there's got to be a giant mess down there - a mess which just accumulates all the pisspoop it can get.

Now, for the worst part: she thinks she can cover up the stink of cat piss and feces emanating from the same three mumus she wears all the time by spraying obscene amounts of perfume over everything. Result? Rose-smelling pissnshit.
 
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