Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 34

Thread: How to help your female partner have orgasms

  1. #1

    Talking How to help your female partner have orgasms

    How to help your female partner have orgasms


    Written by Dr David Delvin, GP and family planning specialist and Christine Webber, psychotherapist


    These days most women want orgasms. That wasn't always the case. Not much more than a generation ago, many adult females simply didn't have climaxes - and a lot of them weren't bothered about it.

    Some doctors claimed that, for a huge proportion of women, it was 'normal' to have no experience of orgasm. Indeed, as late as the 1970s there were still some who maintained that the female orgasm didn't exist - and was simply a myth made up by the media.

    All that has changed now. These days, medical opinion is that every woman should be able to have orgasms - if she wants to. Furthermore, the view of most sex experts is that the majority of women are capable of multiple orgasms - if they wish to have them. In general, the ability to have multiple orgasms is greater in more mature women.

    What is a female orgasm?

    We're writing this explanation in the assumption that you - the reader - are male. But what follows will be of interest to a lot of female readers too.

    What happens in a woman's body during a climax is very like what happens in your (male) body when you ejaculate. In other words, there's a feeling of increasing excitement, building up to a point where everything 'blows' in a great blast of ecstasy. This 'orgasmic moment' is characterised by surges of contractions in the sex organs, occurring almost every 0.8 seconds.

    Men are well aware that these throbs of pleasure are accompanied by the pumping out of spurts of seminal fluid. Obviously this doesn't happen in women.

    A few females do produce some fluid at orgasm, but the impression given in so many erotic stories that most women 'ejaculate' is not correct. Only a minority of females do this.

    Multiple orgasm

    The other big difference between male and female orgasm is this: after the first climax, many women can 'come' again, often within a minute or two.

    This ability is extremely rare in males. Relatively few young women can achieve multiple orgasm, because it's an ability that usually has to be learned. But with the help of a skilled lover, most women can eventually achieve the capacity for multiple orgasms - if they so desire.

    Bringing women to a climax

    For men perhaps the most important thing to realise about female climaxes is that with women, it's not a mechanical thing - as it generally is with men.

    You see, most males will ejaculate quite quickly if they have their penises rubbed. This applies even if the circumstances aren't very romantic - or even if they don't particularly like the person who's doing the rubbing! Women are not like this! Female orgasm isn't a push-button response. The conditions have to be right.

    Although females vary, many women need the following if they're going to reach a climax:


    a romantic atmosphere


    pleasant, comfortable surroundings


    a partner who they really like


    a feeling of being wanted and appreciated


    a good flow of natural lubrication - so that the delicate female parts don't get sore


    a skilled partner who knows how to stimulate the clitoris.


    Unless you can provide the above, you are not going to have great success in giving your partner orgasms.

    Please bear in mind that - contrary to what many men think - sexual intercourse by itself is not likely to produce an orgasm. This is because intercourse alone is not very good at stimulating the woman's clitoris. Nearly all females need additional stimulation of the clitoris by fingers or mouth.

    What to do

    In summary, here's what to do if you want to bring your partner to orgasm regularly:


    1. don't be in a rush.

    2. don't be too demanding - it's not an Olympic event.

    3. talk to your partner, and ask her what she wants you to do to her.

    4. always create a romantic atmosphere.

    5. make sure that everything is comfortable and nice for her.

    6. give her lots of kisses and cuddles before you even think about making any approach to her sexual area.

    7. when you do start to stroke, rub or kiss her genitals, don't rush into 'attacking' her clitoris. Take things gently, and see what she wants.

    8. use her own natural lubrication to moisten her clitoris. (If she is over 40, it may be a good idea to use some additional lubrication from a chemist or a sex shop).

    9. remember that stimulation of the clitoris is the key to female orgasm.

    10. sometimes encourage her to run your sex sessions. You can learn a lot by watching how she stimulates herself or by really listening to her when she suggests a sex position, or a particular caress.

  2. #2
    proud infidel
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    from the civilized world
    Posts
    1,983
    Hi GG,

    although I'm far from being an expert, I've noticed over the years that number 4 seems to be particularly important to women. In fact, I believe that women's personal fantasies often have a lot to do with mood, atmosphere and setting, like having sex on a beach or in a field, for instance.

    fml
    Last edited by femaleluver2; 04-12-2006 at 07:35 AM.

  3. #3
    Veteran of Misadventures
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    U.S.A.
    Posts
    13,128
    DATY is an acquired skill. You have to listen and respond to what you are being told. Learning to coordinate tongue and fingers in DATY is just as much a skill as Jimi Hendrix displayed playing guitar with his teeth and fingers.

    Championship calibre DATY is the product of talent and experience honed over time.

  4. #4
    EB, its not so much the skill, but the reaction it causes.
    Hendrix had his audience screaming, now if the reaction to your tongue and finger work is a multitude of screaming, scratching, biting, mind blowing orgasms along with uncontrolled contractions....then you are a true artist my man.

    Some interesting facts about female orgasms.
    Every woman makes love differently, and reacts to her partner differently.
    Some never have orgasms. Some have very mild ones like a kitten purrring while others react like a roaring lion. Some have one and then their body shuts down and they turn over and go to sleep .....just like a guy Some girls can go all night and have 50 or more orgasms and still want more.
    One thing is certain and that is that orgasms evolve with time as they are influenced by a woman`s experiences and emotional/physical state. A woman`s mindset has everything to do with her orgasm. An sp may see 10 clients in a day and because she is emotionaly (and even physically) detached, she may not experience any orgasms, yet with her boyfriend the next day she`ll have 1 or 2 and with her favourite lover....20 or 30.
    Ladies who have a tendancy to squirt (about 1 in 20 women) normally don`t start till their late twenties or thirties, and they all have multiple orgasms.
    Multiple orgasms in males are very rare but not in guys who practise tantric.

  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by EagerBeaver
    DATY is an acquired skill. You have to listen and respond to what you are being told. Learning to coordinate tongue and fingers in DATY is just as much a skill as Jimi Hendrix displayed playing guitar with his teeth and fingers.

    Championship calibre DATY is the product of talent and experience honed over time.
    Arguably, the King of DATY is the porn star legend Ron Jeremy. I have watched him go at it and let me tell you, I doubt those actresses are faking it. He may be a short, fat, hairy guy but he knows how to lick a clit.

    Some of the SPs I have been with told me to go a little lighter while others loved it and wanted it even harder. I don't pretend I know I am pleasing her so I often just ask, especially if I see no response, which has happened. I remember with Lili Love, DATY was so intense that I was overheating while performing it. She literally grabbed my head and shouted "Oui, c'est la que je veux que tu me laiche!" ("Yes, that is where I want you to lick me!").

    I lost it. I was ferociously dining on her for over 40 minutes straight, either one way or in the 69 position. She even wanted me to bite her clit hard with my lips. After a while, I gave up, and asked her if we can take a little break...I was finished from DATY!!! Can you believe that?

    That encounter is permanently etched in my mind. My neck was killing me for days. Till this day, I want to call her again but I am too scared that this fifty year old sex goddess will eat me alive!!!

    GG
    Last edited by General Gonad; 04-13-2006 at 10:26 PM.

  6. #6

    Sex is in the mind, between the brains !

    Do you want to be a great lover ?

    Ask her what her sexual fantasies are and then do as she wants, without putting your ego in the way.

    Be a good listener, and remember the slower the better.

    We female we despise the pumpers, where do you think you are going in such a hurry ?

    Dont be genital. Female sexuality is the entire body, in our body every cellular can be eroticised.

    Here is a suggestion, only touch her genitals and breasts if she asks you to. Try turning her on by touching parts of her body that is not genital, she will adore you.

    Dont assume you can masturbate her, it is invasive and rude.

    Let her run the show, after all it is her body and you want to please her.
    Dont worrry about the world coming to
    an end, it is already tomorrow in Australia.

  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Juliana
    Here is a suggestion, only touch her genitals and breasts if she asks you to. Try turning her on by touching parts of her body that is not genital, she will adore you.

    Dont assume you can masturbate her, it is invasive and rude.

    Let her run the show, after all it is her body and you want to please her.
    Juliana,

    I met you once so I will not take this advice to heart. If I feel a connection, I will touch her where I please. If she is offended, I will stop and ask what is wrong. I am not a little kid who has to ask every time I want to touch.

    I do agree that some kisses on the upper neck can be very erotic and worth the effort.

    GG

  8. #8

    Ambition is not for everyone !

    Quote Originally Posted by General Gonad
    Juliana,

    I met you once so I will not take this advice to heart. If I feel a connection, I will touch her where I please. If she is offended, I will stop and ask what is wrong. I am not a little kid who has to ask every time I want to touch.

    I do agree that some kisses on the upper neck can be very erotic and worth the effort.

    GG
    My darling my suggestion is for those who wants to become great lovers, and I do understand that this kind of ambition is not for everyone.Fortunately smarty sensitive males tend to listen and care about women likes and dislikes.

    God is piss and She is coming !
    Dont worrry about the world coming to
    an end, it is already tomorrow in Australia.

  9. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by Juliana
    My darling my suggestion is for those who wants to become great lovers, and I do understand that this kind of ambition is not for everyone.Fortunately smarty sensitive males tend to listen and care about women likes and dislikes.

    God is piss and She is coming !
    Yes, in your infinite wisdom, you seem to think that you know how to teach someone to be a "great lover" like you thought by reading all those books you would be a "great masseuse."

    Give me a break, I can't believe you're attempting to give advice on this topic. I will continue to ignore you.

    GG

    P.S. Here is my hint: go with the flow and let your chemistry drive the encounter...
    Last edited by General Gonad; 04-14-2006 at 09:39 AM.

  10. #10
    It's funny, but with some women caressing/rubbing the underneath of the big toe (an erotic centre) drives them crazy with pleasure; others just get ticklish. The inside of the elbow and knee are also amazing, with an infinitely light touch; same with the palms.

  11. #11
    proud infidel
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    from the civilized world
    Posts
    1,983
    Quote Originally Posted by EagerBeaver
    DATY is an acquired skill. You have to listen and respond to what you are being told. Learning to coordinate tongue and fingers in DATY is just as much a skill as Jimi Hendrix displayed playing guitar with his teeth and fingers.

    Championship calibre DATY is the product of talent and experience honed over time.
    My problem with DATY is that my tongue is a bit too short, not to mention that I'm no tongue-flicking artist either... It has happened to me on more than a few occasions that, after performing DATY, I've experienced pain underneath the front of my tongue due to too much forceful tongue movements!

    fml
    Last edited by femaleluver2; 04-14-2006 at 08:21 AM.

  12. #12
    Quote Originally Posted by spiderman05
    When performing DATY, many women like it when the guy's hands keep roaming everywhere on their body. You might also, once in a while let your tongue lick her legs, belly and so on before going back to her clit.

    I was told by women I met that I know how to perform daty. I am not into msogs, I prefer a long session that starts with foreplay then intercourse.
    Spiderman05,

    Great advice, I also like moving up and down, kissing and caressing all around. But sometimes I am so into it that I forget, which is wrong. As for foreplay, I agree with you, it is essential for me to have a great session.

    >>fml, I hope you have long fingers!

    GG

  13. #13
    Working rage-aholic
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    a rocky planet with one moon
    Posts
    863
    Spiderman, I agree with both of your posts 100%. Unfortunately, in my married life, we (okay I) rarely took the time and effort, even though I enjoy a more sensual encounter. For me, it's really not about the orgasm, or even the sex as much as the anticipation and the building up to it. I find the foreplay and her reactions more thrilling.
    I don't know why it is I appreciate these things more with relative strangers than with a SO, though. Or maybe I do: boredom. Or, maybe it's just a symptom of my neuroses

  14. #14
    Quote Originally Posted by btyger
    For me, it's really not about the orgasm, or even the sex as much as the anticipation and the building up to it. I find the foreplay and her reactions more thrilling.
    btyger,

    We are so much alike....

    GG

  15. #15
    Quote Originally Posted by oliver kloseoff
    you guys kill me
    most of you
    your partner having mutiple orgasms would mean your right hand!
    difference between a woman and a toilet seat
    toilet seats dont get up and follow you around when your finished using them
    oliver
    Olie,

    I alternate between the right and left hand (remember it takes me a long time). As far as treating women like a toilet seat, I know you're joking...now I have to crap it...

    GG

Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •