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Thread: Is the DTA rule worth it?

  1. #1

    Question Is the DTA rule worth it?

    “To trace something unknown back to something known is alleviating, soothing, gratifying and gives moreover a feeling of power. Danger, disquiet, anxiety attend the unknown – the first instinct is to eliminate these distressing states. First principle: any explanation is better than none… The cause-creating drive is thus conditioned and excited by the feeling of fear ….”
    - Friedrich Nietzsche


    “Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before”
    - Mae West


    I enjoy sharing myself with an SP or MP. If I feel they're the right person to share things with, I will open up and discuss my problems. But what guarantees do I have that she will keep quiet? None whatsoever. Someone emailed me telling me that they follow the "DTA rule" (Don't Trust Anyone).

    The problem is that if you strictly adhere to this rule, you risk missing out on the special lady that can potentially share with you valuable advice and insights.

    But I still have concerns. Apparently there are quite a few agency owners that enjoy sleeping with their SPs. I received enough independent emails telling me that this indulgence/ abuse is quite rampant in the biz. It is a well known fact to a few in the inner circle but not too good for business so owners keep it hush hush. Moreover, gossip is fairly common so you risk having your personal info shared among owners and SPs.

    I will publicly state that I hate gossip. The best SPs know how to keep secrets and value their clients' request for privacy. They understand that in this biz, discretion isn't a luxury but a necessity.

    The DTA rule might be the only way to ensure your privacy but in my opinion, it isn't worth the price. I am willing to risk opening up when I enter the unknown.

    GG
    Last edited by General Gonad; 04-22-2006 at 12:39 AM.

  2. #2
    uninformed informant
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    Don't trust anyone... I doubt anyone following this rule is completely sane, or able to really enjoy life.

    Every relationship, be it romantic, friendly, business or anything else requires trust.

    As for sharing personal stuff, sometimes it's a lot better to share it with a stranger, or a semi stranger than with someone that knows you. You're getting it off your chest, and it won't affect you or them as much as it would someone you know.

    You're not the only one who does this GG, heck most of my clients do that when they are on my table.

    Some even expect me to give them advice.

    Maybe Sp's and MP's should have one of those confidentiality clauses like doctors, therapists have. :P
    Inherited Will, the destiny of an age and the dreams of its people. These things will not be stopped.
    As long as people continue to pursue the meaning of freedom. They will never cease to be.

  3. #3
    Working rage-aholic
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    On your table, Gee?

    I worry that I'm way too honest and open, but you're right, Gee. I'd rather be a fool with heart than be calculating and detached. You can't worry that people will hurt you or think badly of you. If you live long enough, they will anyway, no matter how guarded you are.
    Last edited by btyger; 04-22-2006 at 06:28 AM.
    Why are homely people discriminated against...we're the majority

  4. #4
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    GG,

    I really don't see why you would want to share your home address or your last name with an SP. And if you don't, how could the rest of what you shared with her ever come back to haunt you?

  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by B1G
    GG,

    I really don't see why you would want to share your home address or your last name with an SP. And if you don't, how could the rest of what you shared with her ever come back to haunt you?
    There was a stripper who (when I asked if the name she told me was her real name) pulled out multiple IDs (including pictures), all with the same name. As a show of mutual trust I did the same. Do I regret it? Perhaps.

    I'm sure it would be easy for an SP to get your full name and address quite easily...luggage tags. How many people put their luggage in the closet? I don't.

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by Gee
    Don't trust anyone... I doubt anyone following this rule is completely sane, or able to really enjoy life.

    Every relationship, be it romantic, friendly, business or anything else requires trust.

    ...

    Some even expect me to give them advice.

    Maybe Sp's and MP's should have one of those confidentiality clauses like doctors, therapists have. :P
    Gee,

    I agree with your insight here - going trough life without trusting anyone, including SPs and MPs, is pathetic. I am not saying you should blindly trust everyone you meet, only an idiot would do this.

    I guess the emails I received on agency owners pissed me off. There should be tight rules against sleeping with your ladies. If you're going to do this, then at least have the decency not to allow her to work while you're dating her. Doing this gives a whole new meaning to the word scumbag.

    >>B1G, of course I do not give my last name but that isn't the point. When you share your secrets with someone, do you want them to be part of SP gossip? Of course not. A mobster once told me that gossip is for losers that typically go nowhere in life (in his line of work, gossip is deadly but some idiots still engage in it).

    Bottom line: I do not mind sharing secrets with some SPs and MPs as long as I feel they can keep it to themselves but there are no guarantees in this biz. I know that the SPs I've met with have also shared some deep secrets with me so I am somewhat confident that they are not the type to blab. But knowing there are SPs out there that sleep with the agency owner infuriates me because it violates a basic requirement to establish a trustworthy exchange during the encounter.

    All owners who sleep with their SPs should provide clients with a disclaimer: "She is so good that I am even fucking her."

    GG
    Last edited by General Gonad; 04-22-2006 at 12:32 PM.

  7. #7
    Retired veteran hobbyist
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    I'd say it's a good rule to try to follow, but an impossible one to follow forever. The way i see it, if i said something that i wasn't supposed to say and it winds up biting me in the ass (even though i made the person i told it to swear not to repeat it), well, i've only got myself to blame for opening my big mouth.

    I posted a quote some time ago in regards to secrets....that every secret gets repeated at least once by a person, even though they swore to maintain it. If i find the quote again, i'll post it.

    The DTA rule was actually told to me the first time by a prominent member of this board. It took me a while to fully comprehend what he meant by it, but i came to the conclusion that he was right: many people in this business enjoy gossiping among one another and can't hold secrets. At times, you can't even trust people whom you consider to be your friends. So i'd watch what i say to perfect strangers i'd happen to meet in this business.....even if they seem very sweet and caring.

  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Doc Holliday
    The DTA rule was actually told to me the first time by a prominent member of this board. It took me a while to fully comprehend what he meant by it, but i came to the conclusion that he was right: many people in this business enjoy gossiping among one another and can't hold secrets. At times, you can't even trust people whom you consider to be your friends. So i'd watch what i say to perfect strangers i'd happen to meet in this business.....even if they seem very sweet and caring.
    Yup, we all learn the hard way. All the more reason to be weary of who you open up to. Also, it reminds me of another thing this mobster told me: "a secret isn't a secret if you share it with anyone else." But then again, he continues to sleep with his eyes wide open.

    GG

  9. #9
    Retired veteran hobbyist
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    Quote Originally Posted by General Gonad
    A secret isn't a secret if you share it with anyone else." But then again, he continues to sleep with his eyes wide open.
    Better for him to sleep with his eyes open than with the fish.

  10. #10
    uninformed informant
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    Quote Originally Posted by btyger
    On your table, Gee?

    I worry that I'm way too honest and open, but you're right, Gee. I'd rather be a fool with heart than be calculating and detached. You can't worry that people will hurt you or think badly of you. If you live long enough, they will anyway, no matter how guarded you are.
    I am a Massage Therapist(the legit kind, no happy endings here :P) or at least I will officialy be one after July 5th. (final exams)
    Inherited Will, the destiny of an age and the dreams of its people. These things will not be stopped.
    As long as people continue to pursue the meaning of freedom. They will never cease to be.

  11. #11
    Quote Originally Posted by Gee
    I am a Massage Therapist(the legit kind, no happy endings here :P) or at least I will officialy be one after July 5th. (final exams)
    Great, I need a legitimate massage!

  12. #12
    uninformed informant
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    Quote Originally Posted by General Gonad
    Great, I need a legitimate massage!
    Heh, I don't think Fred and the Mods would like it if I grabbed clients from here.

    Nor would any of the Mp's even if we do provide a completely different service.
    Inherited Will, the destiny of an age and the dreams of its people. These things will not be stopped.
    As long as people continue to pursue the meaning of freedom. They will never cease to be.

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