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Thread: Hot Sauce

  1. #1

    Hot Sauce

    Just a little warning to you multi-taskers who spend time in the kitchen as well as the bedroom.
    I was preparing a tomato sauce and decided to spice it up with some hot peppers. Unfortunately I didn`t wash my hands after handling the jalapinos ,so a few minutes later when I was undressing my guest....guess what?
    I acccidentally spiced up her pussy with my fingers, my lips with her hot pussy, her lips with mine, and then she reciprocated by setting my balls on fire.
    Hot, Spicy PAINFUL sex. Couldn`t wait to get into a bath tub.

  2. #2
    Quote Originally Posted by cloudsurf
    Just a little warning to you multi-taskers who spend time in the kitchen as well as the bedroom.
    I was preparing a tomato sauce and decided to spice it up with some hot peppers. Unfortunately I didn`t wash my hands after handling the jalapinos ,so a few minutes later when I was undressing my guest....guess what?
    I acccidentally spiced up her pussy with my fingers, my lips with her hot pussy, her lips with mine, and then she reciprocated by setting my balls on fire.
    Hot, Spicy PAINFUL sex. Couldn`t wait to get into a bath tub.
    Now THAT is one of the funniest things I have read on MERB

  3. #3
    And didn't she have any reaction? I'm wondering if she felt the same burning or if it just made her hotter? You may have discovered a new aphrodisiac!
    It may be better than the old trick of a halls candy in the mouth during daty.

  4. #4
    It may be funny now....but it sure was painful when it happened.
    That wasn`t the most painful incident on a date though.
    A while ago I had a romantic dinner date, at my place, with one of my ATFs
    Half way through the meal I started getting cramps in my belly and felt the onset of stomach poisoning.
    I excused my self for 5 minutes to go to the bathroom.
    Even though I was in agony and more than slightly embarrassed at the timing of my unfortunate crisis, I only felt bad that I was rude company by letting our delicious dinner go cold.
    After about 20 minutes of multiple discharging from both ends....I hear a knock on the door. "are you OK, can I come in?" COME IN !!!...no way !!!! how could I let her see me like this....white as a ghost....lost 20 pounds from sweating, barfing and shitting my guts out....the bathroom smelt worse than a rendering factory or a public toilet in Paris...I can`t let her in....over my dead body.... except that I thought that I would be dead....soon.
    I lied and said that I`ll be OK in a while and asked her to please take 50 bucks from my wallet and take a cab home. She answered that she can`t leave me like this. I told her to finish her wine , watch some TV and I`ll be there soon.
    After another 20 minutes and half a bottle of Maalox I stumbled out of the bathroom and into my bed. I must have looked like an escapee from a death camp....but she was so sweet and empathetic. She did everything possible to distract me from my pain....and I do mean everything.
    The first unimaginable thing happened....even with the excruciating pain in my belly....I got hard. Sex is the best medicine , and that night was all the proof that I needed.

  5. #5
    Working rage-aholic
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    Quote Originally Posted by Techman
    And didn't she have any reaction? I'm wondering if she felt the same burning or if it just made her hotter? You may have discovered a new aphrodisiac!
    It may be better than the old trick of a halls candy in the mouth during daty.
    Happy B-day, Tech. BTW, does that work?
    Why are homely people discriminated against...we're the majority

  6. #6

    Happy B-Day T-man

    Unfortunately its not an aphrodisiac, only a painfull distraction.
    What is fortunate though is that when a woman is having her G-spot stimulated she feels less pain.

  7. #7
    Thanks guys!

    btyger, I've had some good reactions in the past with mentholyptus lozenges while doing daty. It seems to stimulate any sensitive tissue. I guess it's just the cooling action. I think we need some female input to see if they have any opinion on the matter.

  8. #8
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    Chilis,mints,etc...

    Quote Originally Posted by cloudsurf
    Unfortunately its not an aphrodisiac, only a painfull distraction.
    What is fortunate though is that when a woman is having her G-spot stimulated she feels less pain.
    Cloudsurf,
    I am guilty of the same blunder, only my medium was the nuclear level
    Habanero chili, the hottest of the hot.
    The sensation was so immediate and intense it never got beyond her
    nether regions... and she has never let me forget it, nearly a year later

    Techman,
    I can report similar, favorable resultes using Altoids..."curiously strong..."
    "The beatings will continue... until morale improves"

  9. #9

    Been there, done that.

    It does you no good when you touch your own dick either!

  10. #10
    2-2 in bans... loser...
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    Let's see.... in my pantry/fridge at the moment I have:

    - Spontaneous Combustion
    - Dave's Insanity Sauce
    - Dave's Total Insanity Sauce
    - Endorphin Rush
    - Habanero Cajun Saesoning from Hell
    - Habanero Rub from Hell
    - Dried Habanero Pepper

    ...and I have consumed many other bottles (including the pure ingrediant of habanero peppers) of varying kick ass sauces in the past. All that to state that I have over the course of the last several years:

    - wiped my eyes
    - taken a piss holding the wrong end of the stick
    - wiped the inside of a nostril
    - scratched the scrotum
    - fondled a girlfriend (thaht didn't last long)

    all while not having waited long enough for the effects to wear off the skin of my hand. I'm not the brightest bulb in the factory when I use this shit... but dammit I can't get enough of hot peppers!

    Cheers

  11. #11
    Have you guys tried Scoth Bonnet peppers? I hear that they're deadly as well. I don't eat hot peppers as they burn going in and coming out.

  12. #12
    2-2 in bans... loser...
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    Scoth are pretty much a mild version of habaeros. Very tasty though.

    Best place I found to get these hot sauces is located in Ottawa:

    http://www.chillychiles.com/

    Spent over $200 last year.

  13. #13
    The hottest pepper is the Red Savina, a Habanero pepper, at 325,000 to 500,000 scoville units. A jalapeno by contrast is rated at 4,500 units. This is the best hot sauce site I've found and where I buy my hot sauces. http://www.mohotta.com/ They have info on heat ratings and levels. Some of their sauces are recommended to use only one drop per recipe!! You don't want to get any of that on your hands.

    The hottest Tabasco brand sauce is their Habanero sauce rated at 5,200. The hottest sauce on the site is this one... http://www.mohotta.com/ShowView/product/308/6 ...rated at 119,700 units!

  14. #14
    Quote Originally Posted by hornyanglo66
    Scoth are pretty much a mild version of habaeros. Very tasty though.

    Best place I found to get these hot sauces is located in Ottawa:

    http://www.chillychiles.com/

    Spent over $200 last year.
    The next time you're there go to La Bottega (also in the market, on George Street) - really nice Italian deli.

  15. #15
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    [QUOTE=chefplus]Have you guys tried Scoth Bonnet peppers? I hear that they're deadly as well.

    Chefplus,
    Scotch bonnet is simply Jamaican idiom for habanero, dating to the
    British colonial era. Jamaican cooks preferred to use the peppers in dried form,
    when it had collapsed in on itself into an irregular, round sort of shape,
    not too unlike the tam o' shanter worn by some British regiments, hence
    "scotch bonnet"
    There is some debate as to whether the dried chili habanero delivers less heat;
    as Techman points out the Red Savina tops out at 325,000 to 500,000 scoville units ( I've heard some as high as 750,000 scoville), the tip of the tongue,
    or the tip of anything else, couldn't possibly make such fine distinctions at this end of the scale...it's just bloody hot

    I second Techman's endorsement of MoHotta MoBetta, they've come a long
    way from a six page paper catalog in the pre-internet 80's... today, one stop
    shopping for the serious chili head
    "The beatings will continue... until morale improves"

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