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Meeting Stripper Lover: The Wise Realist vs. the Naive Idealist

General Gonad

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Dec 31, 2005
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Alright, I am back after a great dinner with my favorite lady - my wife. A nice bottle of red wine always helps me clear my thoughts.

I contacted SL several times this week and I decided if there will be one hobbyiest that I will meet, it will be him. Why? Because he is extremely straightforward and has nothing to gain by bullshitting me or any other member on the board. We spoke over the phone but my work schedule is hectic so today after posting on Merb I decided to give him a call in the late afternoon.

We met at a coffee shop and we started talking about the hobby. SL looks fifteen to ten years younger than I pictured him - it must be true that lots of sex keeps a man young and virile!:D I wish I had a microphone or a note pad to take down the more important points. He can speak at 100 miles per hour and I found it refreshing to soak it all up. He is definetely very street smart and did not hide the fact that he is a born cynic. More on that later.

We did not get into personal issues. Actually, I did divulge something personal to him but he already knew it, which confirmed my suspiscions that some people cannot keep their mouths shut.:rolleyes: It amazes me how people love to gossip. Who gives a crap about my personal issues? If an SP ever divulged something very personal to me about another client, I would blast her. It is none of my business what someone told you in a private session, especially if it is personal. Also, it is none of any other client's business what an SP told me in private.

Anyways, the conversation took many turns but the major topic was on how some hobbyiests fail to recognize that this hobby is pure fantasy. SL strongly abhors the pretentiousness of some hobbyiests that feel they are more special than others. "The brutal truth is that we are all 'Johns'; we are all equal." "Once you cross that line you cannot share something special with an SP because you are paying to be with her." It makes me sick when I read people posting stuff like "I am special to her"...."They are delusional." "Again, once you cross the line and pay for sex, they never see you as anything but a client." "They will never share their personal lives with you - NEVER." "You might think you're special but you really aren't."

Now, as he spoke I was trying to pretend that it didn't bother me but the truth is that it did. It is like he was ripping my romantic world apart and I couldn't really do anything about it. I kept looking in his eyes to see if they are shifting and trying to study his body language for signs of a lying scumbag. But the truth is that he was extremely convincing. Maybe he is a master bullshitter - or at least that was what I wanted to believe - but he wasn't. SL has spent countless hours with these ladies when they are not working. He has seen their true colors so he knows what they're really thinking.

I was so engaged in the conversation that at one point, I waited until the last possible second before I thought my bladder was going to explode. I got back to the seat and we both noticed this hot brunette sitting behind us. "Now you see her - I would pay to fuck her", as she was coming towards us to leave (I am sure she heard him). She smiled as he helped her with some napkin that was falling off her tray. I was thinking this guy is so smooth - he'll eat Trump for breakfast.:D

At one point, I told him that many people think he is extremely arrogant. I said "You and Olie are so cynical and you generalize way too much" "It simply isn't true that some people cannot share a special connection with an SP." I added forcefully:"Nobody in this hobby has a monopoly on wisdom - not you, not Celine, not me, nobody" "I personally know of SPs that married their clients. Not many but I know it can happen"

He finally conceded somewhat: "Alright, maybe there is a 1% that does develop a special connection but 99% of the time they are playing you so why even mention that 1%." "Don't kid yourself, there are so many gullible guys out there that really think they are special." "It simply isn't true." "At the end of the day, nobody is more special than the other guy" "You see those guys working behind that counter, they can save up $160 or $180 dollars and visit the same SP you did....what makes you so special?"

True but the fact is that not all of us are made the same. Some of us, including SL, have an affinity to make women comfortable to talk with us. In other words, just because you can afford to see the same SP that I did, it doesn't guarantee you that you'll enjoy the same experience that I did on all levels. Some guys are easier to talk to; some guys have bigger pricks; some guys are better lovers; etc. But SL's point is that no matter what, once you cross the line and pay for sex, you can never go back. You'll always be a 'John', nothing more than a client and not someone special.

We were talking for three hours. Time flew by so fast because I was enjoying the conversation. My wife called me twice so I needed to wrap it up.

As we departed, I asked him: "If it is all pure fantasy and we are nothing but 'Johns', why bother doing it?" He replied: "Because we need the warmth of a woman...we need a woman's perspective on things."

Very well put.

SL, thanks for meeting this young idealistic general and injecting a healthy dose of realism in me. Maybe we can become friends in the long run. But even if we remain acquaintances, at least we know that we will tell each other exactly what is on our minds. We both share some common characteristics: we do not tolerate bullshit and more importantly we care for the well-being of the ladies that work in this hobby.

GG

P.S. We both agreed that numerical ratings are worthless. As he aptly remarked: "You can have an SP that is no better than a 3 but if she blows him well, all of a sudden she becomes a 5!":rolleyes:
 
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General Gonad

Enlightened pervert
Dec 31, 2005
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Kaempferrand said:
Talk about taking BFE to a whole new level.:eek:

Yeah, maybe I should have titled it: "Falling in Love with Stripper Lover.":rolleyes:
 

General Gonad

Enlightened pervert
Dec 31, 2005
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Kaempferrand said:
Yes you have found a true fuck buddy!

Silly faggot, dicks are for chics.:D

Don't worry, we both got some pussy tonight except SL paid for it. I got mine for free (after an expensive dinner) and I KNOW she thinks I am special. Or at least that's what she tells me.:D

GG
 

General Gonad

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Dec 31, 2005
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Carpe Diem!

Kaempferrand said:
Well you are only GG once so live it up....

Yet looking at life it is one thing to be horny, it is bad to be bitter but when these two go hand in hand together... not a good combination. Just make sure you don't fall into that category. Seen too many of those personally first hand.

At times I am horny, at times I am bitter but not both at the same time...not a good mixture. Let's just say SL shook me in a positive way but I still prefer to think that I can share something more than sex in those two hour encounters. It doesn't make me more special...just more sensitive.

I can't buy love or friendship but I can share my soul regardless of whether or not they care.

GG
 
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Board Stiff

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Feb 9, 2005
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General Gonad said:
I was so engaged in the conversation that at one point, I waited until the last possible second before I thought my bladder was going to explode.

Hah, I can't help but remember the time I met, actually, the time SL accosted me at Cleo's. He tried to break my hand when he shook it. When he dropped me off at my old apartment, I remember him talking my head off for 15 minutes, when I had to really take a dump, so GG, I commiserate with you. He can certainly talk your head off on his first hand knowledge of the industry, but I find him to be slightly more curmudgeonly than Beavis.
Guess that dinner table at Zesto's that night? Me, SL, LCS(EGB, Tony), and Special K, what a night indeed.
 

General Gonad

Enlightened pervert
Dec 31, 2005
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Board Stiff said:
He can certainly talk your head off on his first hand knowledge of the industry, but I find him to be slightly more curmudgeonly than Beavis.
Guess that dinner table at Zesto's that night? Me, SL, LCS(EGB, Tony), and Special K, what a night indeed.

BS,

Here is the definition I found for "curmudgeonly":

Adj. 1. curmudgeonly - brusque and surly and forbidding; "crusty remarks"; "a crusty old man"; "his curmudgeonly temper"; "gruff manner"; "a gruff reply.

I guess you can see SL like this but he is not unbearable unless he doesn't get laid.:D I just see him as a hopeless cynic like I see others as hopeless romantics. We are all different that's what makes this world beautiful.

So Zesto's last night.....SK and Tony were there?
 

Robert 21

You give Love..A BAD NAME
Aug 8, 2004
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General Gonad said:
Alright, I am back after a great dinner with my favorite lady - my wife. A nice bottle of red wine always helps me clear my thoughts.

I contacted SL several times this week and I decided if there will be one hobbyiest that I will meet, it will be him. Why? Because he is extremely straightforward and has nothing to gain by bullshitting me or any other member on the board. We spoke over the phone but my work schedule is hectic so today after posting on Merb I decided to give him a call in the late afternoon.

Anyways, the conversation took many turns but the major topic was on how some hobbyiests fail to recognize that this hobby is pure fantasy. SL strongly abhors the pretentiousness of some hobbyiests that feel they are more special than others. "The brutal truth is that we are all 'Johns'; we are all equal." "Once you cross that line you cannot share something special with an SP because you are paying to be with her." It makes me sick when I read people posting stuff like "I am special to her"...."They are delusional." "Again, once you cross the line and pay for sex, they never see you as anything but a client." "They will never share their personal lives with you - NEVER." "You might think you're special but you really aren't."

At one point, I told him that many people think he is extremely arrogant. I said "You and Olie are so cynical and you generalize way too much" "It simply isn't true that some people cannot share a special connection with an SP." I added forcefully:"Nobody in this hobby has a monopoly on wisdom - not you, not Celine, not me, nobody" "I personally know of SPs that married their clients. Not many but I know it can happen"

As we departed, I asked him: "If it is all pure fantasy and we are nothing but 'Johns', why bother doing it?" He replied: "Because we need the warmth of a woman...we need a woman's perspective on things."

Very well put.

SL, thanks for meeting this young idealistic general and injecting a healthy dose of realism in me. Maybe we can become friends in the long run. But even if we remain acquaintances, at least we know that we will tell each other exactly what is on our minds. We both share some common characteristics: we do not tolerate bullshit and more importantly we care for the well-being of the ladies that work in this hobby.

GG

P.S. We both agreed that numerical ratings are worthless. As he aptly remarked: "You can have an SP that is no better than a 3 but if she blows him well, all of a sudden she becomes a 5!":rolleyes:

**********************************************************

Wondering if SL, Olie, & EGB are going to Share their Views ?

(No numerical ratings.......)
Thanks !
 

B1G

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Dec 14, 2004
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SL saying to GG said:
"Alright, maybe there is a 1% that does develop a special connection but 99% of the time they are playing you so why even mention that 1%." "Don't kid yourself, there are so many gullible guys out there that really think they are special." "It simply isn't true." "At the end of the day, nobody is more special than the other guy" "You see those guys working behind that counter, they can save up $160 or $180 dollars and visit the same SP you did....what makes you so special?"

I don't know if it's because I'm just too hooked on little details, and maybe too obsessed on correctness. But when someone insists something is absolutely impossible and then admits a 1% possibility... It really get's to me. 1% of 1000 guys is 10 guys !

Don't get me wrong here. I don't think SP are in love with me. Although not impossible I know the chances are very slim of that happening. But I know that some of the women I meet are genuinely happy to see me. I've even had one spend 8 hrs with me instead of the 2 hrs originally agreed on, and paid for.

GG said:
SL has spent countless hours with these ladies when they are not working.

SL himself must be special to some of these ladies. I don't see them spending countless, off work, hours with everyone of thier clients. I know these countless hours were not spent in bed, but non the less, I don't see why they would spend off work time with him if they thought he was just another 'john'.
 
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B1G

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Dec 14, 2004
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General Gonad said:
At times I am horny, at times I am bitter but not both at the same time...not a good mixture. Let's just say SL shook me in a positive way but I still prefer to think that I can share something more than sex in those two hour encounters. It doesn't make me more special...just more sensitive.

I can't buy love or friendship but I can share my soul regardless of whether or not they care.

GG

Good for you GG. Continue on being a nice guy and keep your convictions that your not wasting your time being good company to these women. I know I will ! :D
 

General Gonad

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Dec 31, 2005
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The inherent asymmetries in an encounter...

This thread needs to be cleaned up right after my post...anyways...

I was thinking about something else that SL told me. He told me that SPs are trained to size you up in the first five seconds of the encounter. They will say pretty much anything you want to hear. They are there to provide a fantasy for you, plain and simple. It's business, nothing personal.

I was thinking about the inherent asymmetries in the interaction if this is the case. You, Mr. Client, might think you yield the power because you're the one paying for service but the reality is that the scales are tipped in the SP's favor. She controls your mind without you being fully aware of it. It is asymmetrical because if you're opening up and she isn't - or worse she is just lying to make you feel better - then you are emotionally exposed.

It is this vulnerability that some SPs shamelessly exploit. SL was adament that you might think you know what they're feeling but you really don't. "You can only speak for how you feel, not how they feel." "You have no idea about what they're thinking and no right to assume that you know."

GG
 

CryWolf

Jack is back
Sep 24, 2005
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General Gonad said:
It is this vulnerability that some SPs shamelessly exploit. SL was adament that you might think you know what they're feeling but you really don't. "You can only speak for how you feel, not how they feel." "You have no idea about what they're thinking and no right to assume that you know."

GG

GG,

An SP will never be able to manipulate or exploit me, the reverse is true in their regards.

This is because I have strict ROE (rules of engagement) :

1. have fun with no strings attached
2. don't talk about your personal issues with SP's
3. do not repeat
4. do not try to see an SP on the sideline
Last but not least
5. do not get involved emotionally
 

EagerBeaver

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CryWolf said:
This is because I have strict ROE (rules of engagement) :

1. have fun with no strings attached
2. don't talk about your personal issues with SP's
3. do not repeat
4. do not try to see an SP on the sideline
Last but not least
5. do not get involved emotionally

These rules of engagement are (or should be) as fundamental as looking for a fastball on a 3-0 count in baseball, yet they are strangely elusive concepts to many hobbyists, producing many of the bizarre posts that we have seen on this Board. When hobbying is not hobbying but is used as a substitute for something else, that's when the rules start getting violated and the problems begin.
 

CryWolf

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Sep 24, 2005
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EagerBeaver said:
These rules of engagement are (or should be) as fundamental as looking for a fastball on a 3-0 count in baseball, yet they are strangely elusive concepts to many hobbyists, producing many of the bizarre posts that we have seen on this Board. When hobbying is not hobbying but is used as a substitute for something else, that's when the rules start getting violated and the problems begin.

Well put, EB.

When the problems begin, your pathetic life goes downward from there ...
:eek:
 

EagerBeaver

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Daringly,

I agree, the "no repeat" rule is the one CW rule of engagement that I have violated, but I have my own rules of engagement, one of which is that I never repeat more than once per trip, meaning I always see a new SP every trip.
 

General Gonad

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Dec 31, 2005
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On "rules of engagement"

CryWolf said:
This is because I have strict ROE (rules of engagement) :

1. have fun with no strings attached
2. don't talk about your personal issues with SP's
3. do not repeat
4. do not try to see an SP on the sideline
Last but not least
5. do not get involved emotionally

Crywolf, EB,

I think some of these rules are self-evident while others just aren't. I do not open up with just any SP I meet but I enjoy doing it with the right SPs. Often times, the conversations I have are better than the sex. I know it's heresy to admit such a thing on Merb but it's the truth. I like opening up with the right lady.

I have yet to repeat with an SP but I am obviously going to do it with someone I truly enjoyed being with. I do not see why not.

As far as emotional attachments, I cannot afford to be emotionally attached to any other lady at the same level that I am with my wife. I believe that I can be caring, sincere, and even emotionally attached to a degree with an SP but not to the level of my wife. Why? Because my wife LIVES with me. She sees me during my good days and my bad days. This is not fantasy world - we are there to support each other through thick and thin. An SP can see me for what I am but she cannot possibly know me until she has lived with me. The same goes for me - I cannot assume I know her unless I have lived with her and shared the joys and pains of her personal life.

Deep emotional attachments based on one, two hour encounters or even week long trips are just plain silly. On this last point, I agree with SL - you're only deluding yourself if you think an SP is very deeply emotionally attached to you.

But I disagree with any hard rules of engagement: strictly adhering to such rules is a waste of time for me because it reduces everything to the mechanical act. I do not believe in keeping my encounters to such a superficial level.

If I get personal with an SP, it's because I choose to and I need to. She has no right whatsoever to share that information with anyone. Not her boss, not other SPs, not her family...nobody. This is also self-evident to me but I guess keeping personal information to yourself is not the iron clad rule that I thought it was.:rolleyes:


GG
 
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godddess_harmonia

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Please correct me if I'm wrong

CryWolf said:
GG,

An SP will never be able to manipulate or exploit me, the reverse is true in their regards.

I didn't realise that this was all about manipulation and exploitation!?! :confused:

There ARE some decent human beings that are part of this hobby, whether they are hobbyists or escorts...
 

General Gonad

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Dec 31, 2005
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godddess_harmonia said:
I didn't realise that this was all about manipulation and exploitation!?! :confused:

There ARE some decent human beings that are part of this hobby, whether they are hobbyists or escorts...


The majority of the people - SPs, MPs, hobbyists - are decent human beings. There are a few that are downright vicious and manipulative. But I hate generalizations. Again, no matter who you are, nobody in this industry has a monopoly on wisdom, including myself. I listen to others but I take everything with a grain of salt - and sometimes a shaker of salt!:D
 

The Wizard of Oz

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yup!

General Gonad said:
The majority of the people - SPs, MPs, hobbyists - are decent human beings. There are a few that are downright vicious and manipulative. But I hate generalizations. Again, no matter who you are, nobody in this industry has a monopoly on wisdom, including myself. I listen to others but I take everything with a grain of salt - and sometimes a shaker of salt!:D


Sounds like me with that shaker of salt!!!
 

CryWolf

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Sep 24, 2005
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godddess_harmonia said:
I didn't realise that this was all about manipulation and exploitation!?! :confused:

There ARE some decent human beings that are part of this hobby, whether they are hobbyists or escorts...

Goddess is new to the board and there was a shill on her. The thread was deleted by MODS.

Before posting any comments, you should at least read the thread and understand where we are coming from. We are not disparaging SP's here.

That's a bad way to start your introductory welcome to us.
:rolleyes:
 
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