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Thread: A frank discussion on warping your sense of reality

  1. #1

    Angry A frank discussion on warping your sense of reality

    I wanted to start a thread on this topic for a long time. I find that SPs and clients share a lot in common. One of the things they share is that their sense of reality is often extremely distorted. The thoughts below are not for all SPs and all clients, so do not take them personally.

    Fast Money: Easy Come, Easy Go

    Many SPs, especially the younger ones are making a lot of money that they're blowing on all sorts of stuff, including recreational drugs. To get an indication of how much money is involved, I took this passage from the "Reality Check" article that I posted yesterday:

    "Jennifer says a prostitute could earn as much as $1,000 to $3,000 on a good day and between $7,000 and $10,000 in their busiest weeks during spring break, the summer tourist season and Christmastime."

    Now, let's say that the average SP makes $3,000 a week, not in a day. We are not talking about chump change here. This is over $150,000 a year clear in their pockets. No wonder the last SP I met went shopping at a high end boutique after our session. She can afford it. She is young, she feels invincible and if she wants it, she'll buy it...NOW!

    I cannot tell you how many of the younger SPs I have met that blow through their money like they will be doing this forever. This is a huge mistake because in every job, including SPing, you need to build reserves in case things do not go your way.

    I know drugs are rampant and that many feel the need to take them to cope. Again, I cannot begin to comprehend how it feels to have to have sex with many different men a night. I cannot see more than one SP a day or a week, let alone in a night. Moreover, I do not need to act. If I do not feel like having sex, I have the luxury to say no, we are just going to chat today.

    But drugs only exacerbate your problems. If you are SPing to support this nasty habit, you're in a vicious cycle that will get you in deeper trouble with potential long-term health consequences.

    You need a game plan. Set a goal: three or five years and stick to it. If you think you'll be doing this forever, you're only deluding yourself. I don't care how hot you are now, your looks and services will not be there forever.

    Clients - Warped Beyond Belief

    Now for the clients. Many of you have a warped sense of how a real relationship works. In the real world, you cannot just buy your wife or girlfriend something and expect her to hump you like the ultimate pornstar. Too many of you think that because you pay for steamy sex with a hot twenty year old, you're entitled to this in your personal lives.

    Well, nothing can be further from the truth. Paying for sex is exactly that - a financial transaction. If you think that this proves you're a stud that deserves this in your personal life, you're warped. You need to value women for a lot more than their sweet asses and nice breasts. You need to see them as people and not as objects that are there only to satisfy your sexual needs.

    Too many clients care only about GFE and you are also deluding yourselves into thinking that this is not going to affect the way you see women in general and more importantly, the way you see your significant other.

    Finally, I will repeat something that I have stated before. Please do not fall for every goddamn sob story out there. Have some self-respect. When I hear stuff like "she was doing cocaine during our session but she promised me she would quit because she loves me and that she needs money for her children," I cannot but reply "Buddy, wake up and smell the coffee!"

    Some of you wouldn't know bullshit if it hit you in the face. Unfortunately, many ladies lie and many of them are masters of manipulation. Even the best of us have fallen for their lines at one time or another. Don't let your dick do the thinking when you're obviously being played...

    GG
    Last edited by General Gonad; 05-08-2006 at 09:57 PM.

  2. #2
    GG, when it comes to coke-heads, or any other drug abuse problem, it's not just dancers or escorts that can take advantage of you. I had one of my best friends rip me off due to his drug habit. I had a gf, who was a dancer, fall into the coke trap and her family and I did everything possible to pull her out of it and failed. She finally pulled herself out of it years later. Between the money I gave her and what she simply stole, I lost a lot. Not counting the emotional toll it took on me as well as her friends and family. They always have any number of excuses to borrow money or other things, which they will sell, and always deny the existence of any drug problem. When it comes to people with a drug addiction, if they aren't willing to get professional help to quit, walk away. Better yet, run. Change your phone number and move if you have to. I know it may seem a very cold hearted thing to say but I will never try to be a white knight for an addict or a girl who claims abuse ever again. I will point them in the right direction to get help but I will not get personally involved.

  3. #3
    Excellent thread GG - I`ve been thinking about this as well lately and I do believe that all participants in this hobby have a very warped sense of reality. I have no stats on this, but I would say that only a very small percent of men and women participate in the hobby, like less than 5%. Most people see this as a degrading and disgusting and roundly condemn it, and certainly would have nothing to do with this. Meanwhile, we exchange messages on MERB and many other boards as if this was normal life. Its about as normal as belonging to an S&M club. After enough encounters, we lose all perspective. This is certainly the challenge in my life - I have to remember this is not normal everyday life.

    This should be an interesting thread. Here`s a few other comments:


    Quote Originally Posted by General Gonad

    You need a game plan. Set a goal: three or five years and stick to it. If you think you`ll be doing this forever, you`re only deluding yourself. I don`t care how hot you are now, your looks and services will not be there forever.

    GG
    Good advice but I suspect most girls in this profession are not in control of themselves or their lives. Its hard enough for most people to set goals and actually follow through on them. There are few girls in the trade who know what they`re doing (I`ve met one I would say) but you could count them on 2 hands.

    Quote Originally Posted by General Gonad
    Too many clients care only about GFE and you are also deluding yourselves into thinking that this is not going to affect the way you see women in general and more importantly, the way you see your significant other.

    GG
    Shouldn`t I expect my GF or SO to act like a girlfriend - LOL - I think I know what you mean - but only a fool would show one night and ask his wife for TCIM and anal when all she does normally is missionary with the lights off and under the covers. Some of us HERE would agree that you shouldn`t treat women as walking repositories for your penis - its a sad comment. My motto with SPs is I can only enjoy an encounter as much as she enjoys it, and that doesn`t just mean sex. Same goes for my SO, though that`s also been a challenge for other reasons - relationships are a lot of work.

    Quote Originally Posted by General Gonad
    When I hear stuff like ``she was doing cocaine during our session but she promised me she would quit because she loves me and that she needs money for her children,`` I cannot but reply ``Buddy, wake up and smell the coffee!``

    GG
    I`ve read this elsewhere on MERB - again, I`m amazed guys fall for this - where the hell are the kids if shes out SPing?

    Quote Originally Posted by General Gonad
    Some of you wouldn`t know bullshit if it hit you in the face. Unfortunately, many ladies lie and many of them are masters of manipulation. Even the best of us have fallen for their lines at one time or another. Don`t let your dick do the thinking when you`re obviously being played...

    GG
    Girls learn manipulation from the day they`re born (there`s a lot of girls in my immediate and extended family). They practice on both parents but eventually discover that Daddy is a much easier target. Its a fine art that most men can`t even imagine let alone practice. The best they can do is realize that its there and try not to be knocked out by the female charms. Of course, once we all hit puberty, its game over for most guys until they hit their forties since the little head makes most of the decisions and women can turn a guy on his head with her little finger!

    P.S. This is no slight against the fairer sex - its admiration - watching women do their thing always amazes me.
    I don't necessarily agree with everything I say - Marshall McLuhan

  4. #4
    I'd say most people spend without consideration of putting enough aside for the future, not just escorts. Most of us learn only by experience.

    Most men are realistic about their role with escorts, we know it's a business transaction but there is often a small yet real connection if two people have been intimate for a brief period.

  5. #5
    Karma

    Thanks for the support. However I'm more into speculation as you can see so I've really been looking for a position as an investment advisor. Looks like there's a big market in the sex trade for girls who don't know what to do with all that cash they're making.

    Though you don't think much of my comments, you seem to have an opinion that you could perhaps share with us on how much of the population partakes in this hobby. I think its pretty relevant because if it something like 50%, that would be pretty significant and perhaps we don't have such a warped view of reality after all.

    MakeIt
    I don't necessarily agree with everything I say - Marshall McLuhan

  6. #6
    Veteran of Misadventures
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    Quote Originally Posted by Karma
    Don't forget that some of them play a role ; they don't think it's really good showing off their intelligence.
    That all depends on who you are with. With many clients it probably is not a good idea to show any opinions on any subject. With others they want a woman who can hold their own in a conversation on a range of topics in addition to being a satisfying partner between the sheets.
    Last edited by EagerBeaver; 05-08-2006 at 11:51 PM.

  7. #7

    Hold on...

    Quote Originally Posted by MakeIt
    I have no stats on this, but I would say that only a very small percent of men and women participate in the hobby, like less than 5%. Most people see this as a degrading and disgusting and roundly condemn it, and certainly would have nothing to do with this. Meanwhile, we exchange messages on MERB and many other boards as if this was normal life. Its about as normal as belonging to an S&M club.
    MakeIt,

    I also do not think that the percentage of regular hobbyiests is high in society but I would not fathom to guess - it's a guesstimate at best. Nobody really knows what the true percentages are. They may be a lot higher than we think.

    I do not however share the popular view that seeing an SP is "degrading and disgusting." If you both respect each other, it does not have to be. I spent an amazing two hours with a beautiful and intelligent young lady last week. Actually, it was a little more than two hours since I ran late (I loved kissing her). Far from being "degrading or disgusting," it was pure bliss for me. Also, it is "normal" for us to share our thoughts on this board. I am not in denial about what I am doing so why not share it here with others who might understand and appreciate it?

    Quote Originally Posted by MakeIt
    Good advice but I suspect most girls in this profession are not in control of themselves or their lives. Its hard enough for most people to set goals and actually follow through on them. There are few girls in the trade who know what they're doing (I've met one I would say) but you could count them on 2 hands..
    I agree with Karma here. There are more intelligent women in this biz than we think. Unfortunately, there are plenty of drug users as well. But my thread was not meant to convey that all women in the biz are dumb drug users who blow all their money. The potential to get a distorted view of money is there but the smart ones - and there are plenty that I have met - know that this is not a lifetime employment. Many have admitted to me that it will be difficult to go back to "normal" salaried jobs. Well, welcome to the real world...it's not easy to make this kind of money out there. In fact, it's damn near impossible for the majority of the population which lives off a median family income of $50,000.

    Quote Originally Posted by MakeIt
    Girls learn manipulation from the day they're born...
    This is pure horseshit. I know just as many men that are master manipulators. Either it's in you or it isn't - regardless of your gender. Some people enjoy manipulating others. I think it's cruel and twisted. But to those individuals, all I have to say is that in life, you always get what you deserve.

    GG

    P.S.>>Techman, I am not big on drugs since I prefer natural highs. I would not accept dating someone who abuses her mind and body with drugs. But if I cared deeply about that person, I honestly do not think I would just cut and run. But sometimes you have no choice because it eats away at you to watch someone you love destroy themselves. I think that was your point.

  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by EagerBeaver
    That all depends on who you are with. With many clients it probably is not a good idea to show any opinions on any subject. With others they want a woman who can hold their own in a conversation on a range of topics in addition to being a satisfying partner between the sheets.
    Karma,

    I agree with EB here. Some clients prefer the submissive Miss GFE that does not speak her mind. They may get aggressive if confronted with an intelligent and opinionated lady who can hold her own. With these clients, it is best to play dumb. Other clients get turned on with a sharp mind that can hold their own. In fact, we actively seek it!

    GG

  9. #9
    Well I'm not going to win this women manipulation argument that's for sure. They're just too good at it

    GG - I was certainly guestimating on the 5%. My point is you're either in this hobby or you're not and most people are not. And a lot people who are not do think its degrading and disgusting. I feel as you do - I've had great times with a few SPs and there's never been anything degrading or disgusting - often its been amazing. However, you don't need to work for Stats Canada to figure that the majority of Canadians do not approve of being a supplier or consumer in the sex trade.

    The problem you've raised with this thread is that we have a warped sense of reality (SPs and clients) for a variety of reasons you mentioned. I'm just adding another reason which is this hobby is generally unaccepted by society. But after a while, we begin to think this lifestyle is normal while the majority of society thinks the complete opposite. This in itself does lead to a warped view of reality.
    I don't necessarily agree with everything I say - Marshall McLuhan

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by MakeIt
    The problem you've raised with this thread is that we have a warped sense of reality (SPs and clients) for a variety of reasons you mentioned. I'm just adding another reason which is this hobby is generally unaccepted by society. But after a while, we begin to think this lifestyle is normal while the majority of society thinks the complete opposite. This in itself does lead to a warped view of reality.
    Some clients and SPs have a warped sense of reality, not all. I do not want to generalize. As far as society is concerned, the majority of the people repress their sexuality, preferring to consume porn by the boat loads. They are all hypocrites. Did you see the article I posted in the "Bettie Page, And the Rage of All Flesh" thread? The author concludes: "What I dislike about the United States is our hypocrisy about sex. We deplore it and yet cannot sell anything without it. We see it as sin and as liberation, dirt and fulfillment."

    Are we really the only ones that have a warped sense of reality? I doubt it. There are plenty of "normal" people out there that are even worse.

    GG
    Last edited by General Gonad; 05-09-2006 at 08:42 AM.

  11. #11
    Quote Originally Posted by General Gonad
    Some clients and SPs have a warped sense of reality, not all. I do not want to generalize. As far as society is concerned, the majority of the people repress their sexuality, preferring to consume porn by the boat loads. They are all hypocrites. Did you see the article I posted in the "Bettie Page, And the Rage of All Flesh" thread? The author concludes: ""What I dislike about the United States is our hypocrisy about sex. We deplore it and yet cannot sell anything without it. We see it as sin and as liberation, dirt and fulfillment."

    Are we really the only ones that have a warped sense of reality? I doubt it. There are plenty of "normal' people out there that are even worse.

    GG
    We're only warped in the sense we are in a minority. But on a purely moral basis, there is absolutely nothing wrong in hobbying.

    I saw that article you mention and that is the worst of this issue. The US are horrible hypocritics on this - but they are torn between their religious right and freedom-loving, tree-hugging civil libertarians. Canada is a little better, thanks in large part to the openess of Quebec society. However, despite this openness towards other parts of society such as gays, they're still not ready to view prostitution as a normal everyday kind of activity with some real benefits for society. One should be able to state they are going to see an SP with no shame, and an SP should be able to have pride their work and not worry about being looked down by those who feel they are morally superior with no good reason.
    I don't necessarily agree with everything I say - Marshall McLuhan

  12. #12
    Quote Originally Posted by Kaempferrand
    The gals are a bunch of sharp cookies. What we both have in common is ESCAPISM. We know who we are what we want out of life yet we couldn't find them in the people we meet and run into in the "real" world. It was more disappointment than anything else. Yet we find them going into this alternative lifestyle. We both know it is not going to be happily ever after but at least we know that it is out there and obtainable one way or the other. Yes there is sex and money involved but they are secondary. We both needed to feel alive and this is how we obtain it.
    I agree that we are both trying to escape but from what? I now realize that I am trying to escape from something that I have to live with for the rest of my life so this will ultimately never fulfill me the way I need to be fulfilled. Some of the ladies may be equating money with freedom but many of them are never free until they confront the demons of their past.

    GG

  13. #13
    Quote Originally Posted by Kaempferrand
    There is no one size fits all answer to what this escape is. We all have our reasons to choose this lifestyle. You have yours. I have mine. EagerBeaver have his. It is different but deep down the similarities are apparent.
    Kaempferrand,

    You are absolutely right on this. We are all trying to escape from something but one day I too will confront my demons and make peace with God.

    GG

  14. #14
    It is more important to make peace with yourself. The answer(s) lies within you. It is closer than you may think.

    Making peace with God is not going to get you anywhere except you end up speaking very softly, always wearing black and feeling up little boys as an end result. Also God if he or she does exist, have a lot more important things to worry about than making peace with a punk like you and me.

    Uh oh... I think this response is going to start something....
    Last edited by Kaempferrand; 05-09-2006 at 01:35 AM.

  15. #15
    Quote Originally Posted by Kaempferrand
    Uh oh... I think this response is going to start something....
    Kaempferrand, you blasphemous shit disturber! To be honest, God saved me from taking my life a long time ago...but I am still a little angry at him and myself. I lost a piece of my soul ten years ago. But life is definetely worth living and so far, I am enjoying my journey. Can't tell you how I will feel the minute old Wally Woody fails to stand up and salute the General...then I will really be depressed!

    GG
    Last edited by General Gonad; 05-09-2006 at 01:42 AM.

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