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Thread: Some thoughts on preferential treatment

  1. #1

    Lightbulb Some thoughts on preferential treatment

    I started a new thread on prefential treatment because it does not necessarily have to be linked to discounts.

    I believe that preferential treatment happens a lot in this industry as it does in other industries. I have my thoughts on using my Merb handle but basically it's a double-edged sword. It might help me get an encounter with a lady I am dying to meet but it might make her feel very uncomfortable and pressured to perform, which I do not want. I want someone who can relax and enjoy the encounter.

    By stating my Merb handle, it also lets the agency or indy know that they have nothing to fear from me. I am nice guy who likes treating the ladies well and if I do not have anything good to write, well I simply do not write it. No slamming unless it's really terrible service, I just don't put anything up.

    Now, as I stated in Anik's thread on discounts, I have never asked for a discount because I find this practice is stupid and cheap. Saving $20 on an $180 encounter or even $50 on a $300 encounter will not bolster my finances. If it's offered to all, that is fine. Some agencies like Eleganza and FKS have memberships where members benefit from discounts, which is fine as well.

    But preferential treatment happens all the time. I recently was disappointed when I found out that one of my favorite indies lied to me about not being able to meet me. I subsequently found out that one of her regular clients saw her that day. I was fuming but upon further reflection, I understand why she had to accomodate him over me. We didn't confirm anything in writing, we just spoke about possibly meeting at a certain day.

    But at the end of the day, he sees her regularly whereas I saw her only once before. He is more important than me, providing a regular stream of income, and I accept this. I just didn't appreciate being lied to. I would have preferred if she told me a regular client called me and I need to see him. Then again, most SPs lie about this because guys have fragile egos. I personally do not care and prefer the truth.

    All this to say that preferential treatment will always exist in every industry, especially here in hobbyland. This should not include abusing your Merb handle to extort discounts from agency owners or independent SPs.

    But if my Merb handle assures me first dibs on a lady I am dying to meet, then so be it. I will pay the full price and book her for two hours. If one of her regulars wants to see her and I get stiffed, I'll understand. This is all part of the game.

    GG
    Last edited by General Gonad; 07-25-2006 at 09:25 AM.

  2. #2

    Preferrential Treatment

    Preferrential treatment is a buzz word for maximizing performance.From another perspective it is good management.Getting the individual or group to perform beyond capacity or expectations or getting a greater return from the marketplace than anticipated.

    The best teachers,coaches,managers are well aware of this phenomena.They recognize that all the people in their charge have to be treated differently to get the best possible result.Some have to be cajoled,others have to be shaken,some have to be left on their own,others have to be encouraged step by step,etc.Some are interchangable parts while others have to be retained regardless the of cost.Conversely people do not come with instructions.Finding the right approach with each individual requires patience and some trial and error.Even the best will make an incorrect decision at times.

    All that matters is maximizing the performance and learning from an experience.
    Last edited by eastender; 07-25-2006 at 09:57 AM.

  3. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by eastender
    All that matters is maximizing the performance and learning from an experience.
    I completely disagree with this utilitarian view. It's not about "maximizing performance," it's simply that some clients will get treated differently because of who they are and how regularly they deal with an agency or an SP. As long as the client does not abuse this in any way, shape or form, it's normal.

    But SPs are not machines that you can turn on to "maximize performance." This view of preferential treatment is pure nonsense.

    GG

  4. #4
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    Preferrential treatment

    Quote Originally Posted by Daringly
    Preferrential treatment is a fact of life.
    Preferential treatment comes in all forms, not just in discounts. In my case the only discounts received are those for multiple hours or from being a "member".

    Where I enjoy preferencial treatment is when I repeat with an agency and the owner or booker tells the girl that I am a nice guy, or a "friend" and to "treat me nice". Hopefully, as GG said, she arrives in a more comfortable frame of mind since I am a known, trusted individual. She doesn't have to worry about me being rough, rude, drunk, mean, high, etc. We still have to get to know each other, but she doesn't necessarily come in with her guard up as high.

    I'm sure that we all have been bumped for either a regular, extended or multiple hour appointment. Its only after establishing yourself that you get to enjoy that benefit!

    BTW I don't use my handle when I book appointments because I hate hearing the response... "Who?"

    Regards,

    Voyager
    "No matter how sophisticated you may be, a large granite mountain cannot be denied—it speaks in silence to the very core of your being."
    -Ansel Adams

  5. #5
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    Preferential treatment can also be the other around. Myself and i'm certain many others out there have often given preferential treatment to sps over others. I've often booked sps & later found out a preferred sp was working and could see me, therefore, i'd call the first agency/sp and make up an excuse and cancel. Or, i'd book someone for a certain time of the day, then, while having a beer with someone else, find out he's seeing one of my favorites later...i'd call the agency and find out i could also see her, so i'd cancel with my original date in order to spend time with a favorite of mine.

    So, what i'm trying to say is that sps preferring to see regular clients or spending time with them is a fact of life in this biz and i can't blame them, even though i've had it happen to me many times. It's not pleasant, but understandable. Why go with someone who'll give me $300-400 when i can see a regular who'll give me $1000+ and i know for a fact that he'll keep on wanting to see me in the future? I also understand why some of these fine ladies find the need to lie to us....among them not wanting to hurt our feelings and also to make sure we keep on seeing them. The bad side of it is that we sometimes find out about the lie and this isn't usually supposed to happen. Oh well, as The Donald recently said on one of his recent shows: "Life sucks! Deal with it."

  6. #6

    Smile Utilitarian

    Quote Originally Posted by General Gonad
    I completely disagree with this utilitarian view. It's not about "maximizing performance," it's simply that some clients will get treated differently because of who they are and how regularly they deal with an agency or an SP. As long as the client does not abuse this in any way, shape or form, it's normal.

    But SPs are not machines that you can turn on to "maximize performance." This view of preferential treatment is pure nonsense.

    GG
    Utilitarian philosophy - J.S.Mill,may be represented by the statement the "greatest good to the greatest number".Your situation is an example of the greatest good to the individual - the SP based on her subjective criteria,which is what maximizing performance is about on an individual level.Maximizing performance does not necessarily translate into "the greatest good to the greatest number".

    That SPs are not machines was evidenced by the fact that she made a rational choice between you and the other client in a fashion that did not please you but was better for her.Live with it.

  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by gtadick
    Now to the scenario that enrages me- when the cancellation is same day when we have committed to meet and I find out or get the feeling I was bumped. This scenario then puts me in the position of scrambling to find a suitable replacement, not always at the best time.
    Same day cancellations are definetely the worst but sometimes it's a valid reason. I wanted to see someone last Saturday but Mother Nature screwed me instead.

    Try calling agencies on Saturday night trying to book a popular SP. I ended up taking a long lukewarm shower and used my imagination instead.

    Hey, I slept like a champ!

    GG

  8. #8
    I've never mentionned merb to any MP, SP, or agency owner when trying to book someone. But as a repeat customer with an agency, and since the owner is bound to become more and more acquainted with my tastes and, I assume, would want to keep my business, it's only normal that he might want to go the extra mile in order to provide satisfaction. That's just good business practice and I would expect the same of any agency/company in the service industry. As far as getting better milleage from SP's, to me it's fairly simple: be nice to them and treat them with respect even when you feel the chemistry just isn't there. I'm sure that, as we spread the word here about our quality experiences with SP's, that SP's also talk between themselves about their experiences with clients. I have met very few SP's so far so my take on this might be a tad naive so I'll let you know where I stand in a year or so.

  9. #9

    Preferential treatment

    When it comes to this subject it can be hard to explain how it comes together in my mind (as an SP) - there are many levels that are preferred treatment, and some which are just a fact of knowing someone better.

    If we are talking priorities, yes, a board member or a person I know already would take precidence over another gent. Why? Because of the familliarity, not much else.

    If we are referring to service, I am afraid I don't get much better than I already am! The only possibilty is that I am already at ease with the person and so, things can go smoother. I am less nervous, and I assume, so is the gentleman.

    I really believe most indies are like myself, we give our all, we are the only one accountable for anything that goes wrong. There aren't any other people adding to our reputation and ready to give us a second chance. So, in that sense, when we see someone, we do our best to give the person our all... if that is preferential treatment, then all who see me are preferred!

    xoxox
    Anik

  10. #10
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    [QUOTE=General Gonad] But preferential treatment happens all the time. I recently was disappointed when I found out that one of my favorite indies lied to me about not being able to meet me. I subsequently found out that one of her regular clients saw her that day. I was fuming but upon further reflection, I understand why she had to accomodate him over me. We didn't confirm anything in writing, we just spoke about possibly meeting at a certain day. /QUOTE]

    Have you considered the possibility that her regular client called and was able to confirm a date where as you only "spoke about possibly meeting at a certain day"?

    I take a comfirmed date over a possibility. Also when it comes to dates, first one to make a date, not to simply talk about possibly getting together is the one who will get to see me.

    Next time make the date, don't be wishy-washy, and it will be unlikely that she will cancel on you.

    Ronnie,
    Naughtylady
    They will forget what you said,
    they will forget what you did,
    but they will never forget the way you made them feel.

  11. #11
    Quote Originally Posted by Just-ass-weet
    I really believe most indies are like myself, we give our all, we are the only one accountable for anything that goes wrong. There aren't any other people adding to our reputation and ready to give us a second chance. So, in that sense, when we see someone, we do our best to give the person our all... if that is preferential treatment, then all who see me are preferred!
    Well said Anik. This is why I still prefer indies over agency ladies. An indy generally values her clients more, especially her repeat clients, since she trusts them and feels more comfortable being with them. In other words, a client is more likely to get preferential treatment from an indy.

    GG

  12. #12
    Quote Originally Posted by naughtylady
    Next time make the date, don't be wishy-washy, and it will be unlikely that she will cancel on you.
    Ronnie,

    I am not wishy washy in anything I do. I called her and she asked me to call her a couple of days later to confirm because she had private matters to attend to. When I called to confirm, she told me she hadn't resolved her matters and was unable to meet me.

    I then got a PM from a client the following day that told me he saw her "yesterday." I felt like calling her but upon reflection, she did the right thing. She was right to ditch me for that client since he sees her regularly. I would have done the same thing in her shoes. It's business, not personal.

    GG

    P.S. I will be seeing her again very soon and I know she'll treat me right!
    Last edited by General Gonad; 07-25-2006 at 09:55 PM.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by General Gonad
    Ronnie,

    I am not wishy washy in anything I do. I called her and she asked me to call her a couple of days later to confirm because she had private matters to attend to. When I called to confirm, she told me she hadn't resolved her matters and was unable to meet me.

    I then got a PM from a client the following day that told me he saw her "yesterday." I felt like calling her but upon reflection, she did the right thing. She was right to ditch me for that client since he sees her regularly. I would have done the same thing in her shoes. It's business, not personal.

    GG

    P.S. I will be seeing her again very soon and I know she'll treat me right!
    Is it possible her private matters were her waiting for a confirmation? Many if not most clients prefer to not to hear about other clients, so her refering to this as private matters all along and that she let you know from the beginning that she had private matters to attend to was being as straight as she saw as appropriate.

    Ronnie,
    Naughtylady
    They will forget what you said,
    they will forget what you did,
    but they will never forget the way you made them feel.

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