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Thread: Harey of Solaris - Agonia perpetua

  1. #1
    Gorgon's Eye
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    Question Harey of Solaris - Agonia perpetua

    Warning!

    The next story is based on my numerous encounters with an independent escort from Montreal. For the time being I will not disclose her name and contact information, as she is formally retired (?). Upon her green light I will post that information.

    However the story represents a credo for me, as much as for others, I guess.
    Finis vitae sed non amoris

  2. #2
    Gorgon's Eye
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    The Story (part 1)

    One day orbiting Solaris, I was getting through a routine outcall when it sent HER to me, my beloved Harey who died in a past life from my guilty remissness. She was standing there naked and charming.


    I brought her inside. I dressed her up. She admired herself in the mirror visibly delighted. Where she was coming from? Why she was for me? I was thinking like anybody she might be an alien, an ET, an artifact. Could we have sex with an alien, with a robot? What could be the best proof we can contact an ET civilization than having a close encounter of the third or fourth kind, like having sex. Oh yes, I could have sex with her in any imaginable way. I found out however I cannot understand her. She does not have memories or feelings. And yet she was a puppet. Was she a test for me, a cruel joke or a gift? She came into a painful persistence of memory, bringing shades of past mistakes, which were slowly driving me insane. I needed answers to save my sanity, but I wasn’t sure those answers are possible.


    I decided to get rid of her. I locked her up into a capsule and threw her in the outer space of Solaris. I was searching for somebody else based on idea of inner/outer beauty, but next day she came back, more glamorous than before. I wasn’t surprised. I wasn’t shocked anymore. I was not searching for aliens, but merely looking for mirrors of my own, for alter-egos. I realized I’m not out in a quest for completely new faces, but for sweet heart-rending memories. I was looking to understand my Self to expand the boundaries of my Self to fill the outer space.


    I was with her in an almost-communication, but Solaris is a place we willfully do not understand, so it is not a real Contact. I accepted the way she was. I loved her the way I loved her before and even more. But empty being inside, she bonded me and then enslaved me. She bedeviled me, slowly inflicting nocuous pain into my soul. I was thinking like an alternative to commit suicide like Dr. Gibarian, as death would’ve been better than living with her.

    I felt my end is getting close being painfully ruined, thus one more time I tried to fetch away and I enclosed her in a temporal loop. I pulled her out from my soul, but the formed gory hole was filled instantly with sweet longing feelings for her. I felt my life elapsed right then in that moment.
    Last edited by algol; 09-08-2006 at 10:03 AM.
    Finis vitae sed non amoris

  3. #3
    Gorgon's Eye
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    The Story (part 2)

    One more time I felt I cannot live without her and I realized how much I love her. And one more time Solaris sent her back spinning off Jungian mandalas of my memory. I was thinking of why we cannot live together happily ever after. Since I was yarning to the original Harey, I felt the visitor I got is only a carbon copy. Howbeit she was HER, her soul. And why then I wasn’t comfortable with her mould, repeated obsessively and each time improved? We all are searching for an ideal image of our own self: we go in quest of other world, of other person developed on the basis of a prototype of our primeval past. At the same time, there is something inside us which we don't like to face up to, from which we try to protect ourselves, but which nevertheless remains, since we don't come in a state of primal innocence. We are born here as we are in reality, and when the page is turned and that reality is revealed to us--that part of our reality which we would prefer to pass over in silence--then we don't like it any more. We need mirrors. We don't know what to do with other worlds, with others. A single world, our own, suffices us; but we can't accept it for what it is.


    So am I ready to face my thoughts, emotions, memories, aversions, aggressions, regrets and desires, ready to be manifested and become me as my inside becomes the outside? In a thought responsive reality such as Solaris there are no limitations. After physical death unconsciously we will seek a reality, a place that resonates with the content and state of our mind. Imagine a consensus reality where like attracts like, a place where the mental and emotional conditioning of your mind is repeating itself, like on Solaris.


    One day I realized that a red thin thread without beginning and end, knots and bends spreads itself unbreakable throughout the span of our story, throughout countless interconnected lives. It is what links together our apparently different moulds in time and space into eternity. It is the love.


    Another day I woke up alone: she disappeared. I left behind both fearing and hoping for her return. I went down to the shore and I’m standing now with Solaris waves breaking near my feet. But still I’m not able to touch the waves. Looking to horizons and keeping in my hands a red flower I try to understand if REALLY anything than love happened.


    "Life ends but not love."


    “And death shall have no dominion.
    Dead men naked they shall be one
    With the man in the wind and the west moon;
    When their bones are picked clean and the clean bones gone,
    They shall have stars at elbow and foot;
    Though they go mad they shall be sane,
    Though they sink through the sea they shall rise again;
    Though lovers be lost love shall not;
    And death shall have no dominion.”
    Last edited by algol; 09-08-2006 at 09:19 PM.
    Finis vitae sed non amoris

  4. #4
    Born again punter
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    Well...

    One thing I'm now sure of: everyone we meet is a mirror, if we pay attention. They can be mirrors that show us what we are, aren't, want and don't want.

    It seems your encounters have left you wounded, but also more knowledgeable about yourself.

    For those of you not familiar with the work of the great Russian film director Andrei Tarkovsky, here is a link to the groundbreaking 1972 Solaris , which may shed some light on this thread. The metaphor which relates Solaris to the MTL escort scene is quite apt (Algol, correct me if I'm wrong). The film was recently remade in Hollywood as well, starring George Clooney.

    Yes, looking for new faces in this business is certainly a lot lighter-hearted than looking for sweet heart-rending memories. The best escorts stand at the ready, eager to provide you with either. It's your choice. Your money.

    What follows is crude, but apt. One day, I was talking to a fellow MERBite about his just-finished encounter, I asked him how it was. He said: I'm in trouble, she's like my ex, but with a BJ... (
    her mould, repeated obsessively and each time improved).

    Solaris can be the MTL escort scene, but it can also be money. How to find Harey, and bring her home safely. Safely for Harey, safely for you.

    I hope writing this and sharing with us helped. It actually helped me more than you realize. Thanks.
    Last edited by sapman99; 09-09-2006 at 02:15 PM.
    Une vie sans folie, c'est une vie sans goût / Life without craziness, is life without taste


  5. #5
    Bystander
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    Solaris

    Hi all,

    This is indeed something I shall be looking forward to see movie wise.

    I've seen the DVD many times on the shelves at the video store, but didn't have the feel for it till now. If you're like me, renting movies nowadays is more a question of feeling. You look, and then wonder, now or later? With those comments, it is surely a now, next time I'll go.

    Thanks,

    McFly

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