The Issues of Love...
It's sad when a man who believes himself to be invincible but he now sat beaten and alone.
Someone who think of himself as smart, capable, charming... (all the positive adjective a conceited person might use)... etc...
Yet he is utterly powerless in the face of love.
Why is it that I find myself staring at her profile photo on facebook? I stare at it in a stupor; expressionless yet raging with emotions. Why can't I forget? I try to analyse her face and her body but I found no answers: She's very pretty but I have dated prettier girls since then; her body is slender and she has curves where it counts but I have been with sexier girls since then... Why is she so unforgetable?
I don't imagine being back with her. I have been nat-free for almost a year now. I am see a new girl. She's smart, cute and very lovable... but I can't feel the same way about her as I did for nat.
I don't imagine having one last night with her. It's never the sex that brought me back to her.
I imagined all the times she looked at me with her deep-emerald eyes. I imagined all the times when she would laugh and her pearl-like teeth would make a timid appearance. I imagined how we used to walk across the ice-covered campus of McGill, with her cowering next to me, clutching my arms tightly for support.
Before I met her across the caferteria in high school, I was fine...
Before I went out with her one fateful summer night, I was fine...
Before I spend countless nights just staying up and talking with her, I was fine...
Before I laid eyes on her again an hour ago (her profile picture on facebook), I was fine...
When will I ever be fine again? I can't seem to permenantly erase her from my mind. A potion that lets people fall in love might be worth its weight in gold, but a drink that lets you forget about love is priceless.
I have no real interests in other women. They all seem blend and... too "happy-cheerleader-ly" for me. I want a girl with history, with stories... with eyes that can tell those stories. I want to make her sad eyes bright, I want the sorrow that sat in the corner of those eyes to be gone like the fallen leaves of yester-season.
If I can't forget her in my present state of mind; then maybe I can do it over a few shots of vodka...
I think it was John Collier who wrote a story called The Chaser. A guy is desperate to get a certain girl to fall in love with him so he tracks down some shady character to buy a love potion. He's very pleasantly surprised to discover that the potion is guaranteed to be effective and that it is free. The punch line is delivered by the shady vendor who says "One day you'll be back...for the antidote...and that's when I'll make my money because you'll be willing to pay anything." It's a great eerie story and I probably got some details wrong because it's been many years since I read it. Do yourself a favor and try to find the story. It's well worth reading.
If there's a way, why don't you tell her directly how you feel?
My memory fades... I always thought that this was a tale by Guy de Maupassant - "The Antidote".... but I can't find it. I have repeated the tale many times to make the point.... none the less I can't integrate it into my personal thoughts/emotions and suffer the same, or a variant of, the problem others suffer.
Originally Posted by joelcairo
Actually I am still in love with some of the girls that I have known in the past (obviously with the ones that dumped me, disappeared or faded away, not the ones I left)
The hurt as gone away, as Elizabeth said:" time heals all wounds", but the memories remain. They are good memories and I cherish them. This is part of your life, it shapes you and molds you and makes you who you are.
Comparing your current girlfriend with the other one is also very natural. You remember what you had and is not there with this new person. But, you will also discover that, that person will give you some things that you didn't have before. If it is not the case, you will move on.
I agree but such is human nature. If you managed not to do it, you are a better human than most of us.
This is a "regular" girl. I don't have "deep" relationship with working girls (and I actually only use their service when I get in big fights with Nat).
Well, Ziggy... Sometimes things can't be fixed. Some things you can't take back. Some words cannot be un-uttered once it come out of your mouth.
Basicly, after we broke up (and we cool off and we starts to talk again), I seem to be drawn back to her (more than once). Sometimes, we would get back together for like 2 weeks. The point is, I can never just let her go... I am sick and tired of this. I want to move on...
When you really get to know a person (and be close to her), it becomes so difficult for you to seperate yourself (from her). It's almost as if she actually became a part of you.
I don't doubt that I will eventually forget; I don't doubt that I will find love once again; But it will not be the same. Because to me, all love is unique. I will never find another one like her... I will never love the same way again. I don't really want to "forget" her, it's more like I wish to be less "controlled" by her existance. I wish to not care where she is and what she's thinking. I wish to not linger 15 minutes looking at photos of us or thinking about our past. That's what I actually want.
Last edited by John_Cage; 04-05-2007 at 12:35 AM.
Are we still talking about this girl? Refresh your memory by reading it and I think it`ll help you get over her...
Originally Posted by John_Cage
OMG, Yes... I can`t believe that post still exist. We made up since then (then we broke up for good like 2-3 months later, don`t remember when I posted), we always have little breaks-up every now and again. Wow, I sounded so mad in that post...
Originally Posted by Agrippa
Even reading it brings back memories.
Last edited by John_Cage; 04-05-2007 at 09:43 AM.
Everything on the board is archived... as long as it`s not deleted. There`s a link `Archive` at the bottom of each page that takes you to all the old posts.
But does it bring back the right kind of memories that will help you get over her?
Originally Posted by Agrippa
I have the same problem with one of my ex's.... i knew her since highschool and the first time we saw eachother.. it was an experience that cant be put into words, we where so right for eachother... its been a long time since we divorced, but we still think about eachother, she still calls me, and she still haunts my dreams as a saviour inside them. Its really weird, being with her was both heavenly and hellish.
I know i'll never forget her, and she'll never forget me either. Despite all our troubles, we seem to have a soulmate like status.