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Thread: The Hollow Hobby

  1. #1

    Unhappy The Hollow Hobby

    One of the things that struck me towards the end of my last stint was how hollow I felt after hobbying. Sure, I would get immediate sexual gratification on the spot but I felt empty the moment the SP left my room and even worse the morning after. The title of this thread reflects the main reason why I quit hobbying and why I am determined to stay sober even though it's not always easy. It's the simple realization that the more I was hobbying, the emptier I felt.

    I do not think I am alone. I am sure many of you have experienced similar emotions. A friend of mine told me that hollowness is endemic to this activity or any activity which does not bring a long-term sense of fulfillment. If this is the case, then it would explain why few hobbyists or SPs stick with the hobby for many years.

    GG

  2. #2
    GG, I have to say my experience is quite the opposite to yours. Yes, the sexual gratification is great, but when the SP leaves, the good feeling continues. I look back on the experience with a fond smile (presuming it was a good experience of course) for quite a while and have never felt that emptiness that you describe. I wouldn't necessary say it's a long term fulfillment; rather, it's like going on a roller coaster. Nervous at first, exhilirating while it's happening, and still smiling once the ride is over. That being said, you want to go back again and again, so I wouldn't say it's fulfilling, but it doesn't leave you hollow either. That being said, I can certainly see where you're coming from and hope you find whatever it is you are looking for.

    Cheers!

  3. #3

    More Hobbies

    I think that if this is the only hobby a person has and/or this is their only real interaction with other people then the possibility of hollowness certainly exists. I personally have so many hobbies that I often find it hard to fit them all in. I often find that everyday life interferes with my fun. If it weren’t for having to buy damn food and pay bills I think all I would do is “hobby” (all of them). But I think the bottom line to the hollowness thing is, don’t let this be your only social interaction.

    NYC

  4. #4
    franky sayz
    I have often thought that this "hobby" was getting out of hand. I have recently cut down my exploits because of it. I no longer make trips to montreal just for the hobby but only if it coincides with another activity. Yes I see less girls but I feel better about the situation
    franky

  5. #5
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    Question Another one of those threads...

    If you really wanted to quit the hobby you wouldn't hang around escort review boards and call up agency owners to discuss the business when you're bored!

    I don't get you GG... Don't try to explain, I never will...

    Since you asked for our opinion, if you feel hollow after meeting with an SP it's probably because you felt hollow before... It has NOTHING to do with SP's and all to do with the various issues you need to address in your personal life...

    And I don't know many guys out there who are in this hobby for the "long-term sense of fulfillment". Geeez man... what's wrong with just looking for a good lay... that's all... simple enough...
    Last edited by MG_mtl; 07-10-2007 at 08:58 PM.
    MG

  6. #6

    That is called a SP hang-over

    GG,

    The hollowness is similar to a hang-over. That is a hang-over effect after instant gratifications, like drugs and alcohols.

    So what you need to do is to fill the void within you without the stimulant, which is not easy to do.

    In my opinion, you have exhibited some "obsessive thinking" problems, which is not unusual for an highly-intelligent middle age man. Some unfulfilling issues in your life led you into a deep depression.

    In long term, you need to see a psychiatrist. In short term you should consider some anti-depression medication, recommended or prescribed by your doctor. Try something natural first, such as St. john's Wort, which does not introduce substance dependency.

    Comparatively, this approach is much cheaper than hobbying.

    I hope you will find your way.
    Last edited by skywalker; 07-10-2007 at 10:50 PM.
    All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.

    May the Force be with you.

  7. #7
    Veteran of Misadventures
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    GG,

    You keep posting the same thing over and over again, in different threads. It's boring, quite frankly, and as pathetic as listening to a broken record on an old phonograph. The issues you have are unique to you. Most serious hobbyists are not in this for a "long term sense of fulfillment", they are in it for the reasons stated by MG Mtl. They just want to have some fun, nothing more or less. You have serious issues which likely have absolutely nothing to do with hobbying. Those issues should not be hashed out on this Board, but with a mental health professional, or perhaps a marriage counselor. In fact, you should not be on this Board at all, if everything you keep posting over and over and over again is to be believed.

  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Elizabeth
    If you felt empty once the encounter was over, it's because you were trying to fill a void. Just like an alcoholic will try to do so when he is drinking.

    And unfortunately, I don't think that void will disappear just because you stop hobbying.
    LOL, I knew I would get a barrage of criticism with my title. I am never one to shy away from controversy.

    First, let's dispel with the bullshit that I am clinically depressed. I am fortunate enough that I never suffered from any serious depression requiring medical attention despite going through some hell. I have other hobbies, friends and family to support me through thick and thin.

    I did however see a therapist who helped me sort out my thoughts. The first thing I realized was that I was trying to fill a fundamental void with this short term fix we call hobbying. Huge mistake on my part. You can have the best pussy in the world for an hour or two but when she's gone, you still have to fill that void which eats away at you.

    Second, I tried to escape from my problems through hobbying. Well, we all know that there is only one way to deal with your problems: confront them head on, meaning you lay it all out there and let the chips fall where they will.

    Third, I never felt proud of hobbying. How can anyone be proud of paying for sex??? Only a real big time loser would feel proud of paying for sex. There is nothing fundamentally fulfilling about paying for sex. Men do it for all sorts of reasons but anyone who tells you I am proud to pay for sex should have his head checked out.

    Fourth, hobbyists treat SPs like commodities. A monetary value is ascribed on a lady and we exchange information on public boards to facilitate the market. The boards act like market exchanges where an SP's value goes up much like a stock's value. There is a lot of noise based on reviews.

    Is this hobby hopelessly hollow? IMHO, it always was and always will be You do not need to be a genius to figure that out. Once you accept the limits of hobbying, you gain a sense of empowerment. You ask yourself what do I fundamentally need and want and how does hobbying hinder the realization of these goals.

    Why do I call agency owners. Because I felt like it. I had some thoughts about seeing an SP and I decided to sleep on it. Good thing I did because acting on impulse is always a dumb move.

    As for writing on the boards. Why not? If my experience can help some poor soul who is in way over his head pissing money away on SPs and sinking into a financial and emotional hole, then it's worth my time and effort. If I piss some people off in the process with some "inconvenient truths" then so be it.

    GG
    Last edited by General Gonad; 07-10-2007 at 11:01 PM.

  9. #9

    Exclamation I am serious

    GG,

    I am serious. I have been through the same issues. Don't take your depression lightly.

    By the way, you do not need to be clinically depressed to take anti-depression medication. The same reason that you don't need to have a cold to take Vitamin C.

    Trust me, look up the condition "Obsessive Thinking" and see whether you have exhibited the behaviors. One way to deal with that is to use anti-depression medication.

    By the way, it is too late by the time someone is diagnosed as clinically depressed. Deal with it early!
    Last edited by skywalker; 07-10-2007 at 11:13 PM.
    All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.

    May the Force be with you.

  10. #10
    It's a whole new ballgame
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    Roland and Skywalker,

    Different directions to be sure, but excellent suggestions from both of you.

  11. #11
    Name Retired.
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    Fixation?

    Hello GG,

    I have to say you have covered this subject more than abundantly. Don't you think you have said enough?

    As for whether you have any sort of inner psychological issue that needs some sort of professional guidance...I am not a psychologist. But your predictable cycle of hobbying...regret...crusading to others about the hollowness...then repeating the cycle over and over like a guy who keeps falling off the wagon implies a "unique fixation" if not a true addiction. This is NOT an attempt to hurt you, but for anyone who has read you over the last two years such an observation is almost inescapable...even if it may be wrong. I think you really need to decide to just have fun and accept the faults of the hobby since you don't seem able to just leave it behind despite your obvious deep regrets. Otherwise it looks like these threads are some obligatory pennance you have to make so you can feel forgiven and start the next round of "sin and regret". Come on guy...not again.

    Enough,

    Korbel
    Last edited by korbel; 07-10-2007 at 11:39 PM.

  12. #12
    GG,

    Let me try it one more time. This is my last post on this topic.

    Depression is just a symptom. Just like having a temperature when you have a cold. There is nothing to be ashamed of. The root cause is "obsessive thinking" that you need to deal with.

    By the way, "Obsessive Thinking" only happens to highly intelligent people like you. The average people are not going to ever experience that or remotely understand that. Normal people act on their impulses, without thinking about what the right way is, and that makes them happy. Changes (or progress in humanity) are made by people's thinking like you, not by those who only care about their impulses.

    Lastly, you need to ignore the noise generated by the average people.

    My work is done here.

    May the force be with you
    Last edited by skywalker; 07-10-2007 at 11:59 PM.
    All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.

    May the Force be with you.

  13. #13
    Quote Originally Posted by General Gonad
    One of the things that struck me towards the end of my last stint was how hollow I felt after hobbying. Sure, I would get immediate sexual gratification on the spot but I felt empty the moment the SP left my room and even worse the morning after. ...........

    GG
    Gen. Gonad: When I started hobbying, I didn't have this feeling, but starting around this year, I have the same feeling as you even after "exceptional" encounters, except with the SP friend I was seeing (you know my story). Even "exceptional" encounters were getting harder to come by. Maybe I've been numbed by the hobby.

    I've come to the same path as you. I've decided to put off hobbying for an indefinite period of time.

  14. #14

    Thread cleaned and reopened

    Please stay on topic..

    Thanks

    M7

  15. #15
    Quote Originally Posted by General Gonad

    Third, I never felt proud of hobbying. How can anyone be proud of paying for sex??? Only a real big time loser would feel proud of paying for sex. There is nothing fundamentally fulfilling about paying for sex. Men do it for all sorts of reasons but anyone who tells you I am proud to pay for sex should have his head checked out.

    You always pay for sex one way or another....


    Quote Originally Posted by General Gonad
    As for writing on the boards. Why not? If my experience can help some poor soul who is in way over his head pissing money away on SPs and sinking into a financial and emotional hole, then it's worth my time and effort. If I piss some people off in the process with some "inconvenient truths" then so be it.
    AHHH, you are now a crusader here to save us

    Maybe it's time to move on.

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