Elizabeth said:
If you felt empty once the encounter was over, it's because you were trying to fill a void. Just like an alcoholic will try to do so when he is drinking.
And unfortunately, I don't think that void will disappear just because you stop hobbying.
LOL, I knew I would get a barrage of criticism with my title. I am never one to shy away from controversy.
First, let's dispel with the bullshit that I am clinically depressed. I am fortunate enough that I never suffered from any serious depression requiring medical attention despite going through some hell. I have other hobbies, friends and family to support me through thick and thin.
I did however see a therapist who helped me sort out my thoughts. The first thing I realized was that I was trying to fill a fundamental void with this short term fix we call hobbying. Huge mistake on my part. You can have the best pussy in the world for an hour or two but when she's gone, you still have to fill that void which eats away at you.
Second, I tried to escape from my problems through hobbying. Well, we all know that there is only one way to deal with your problems: confront them head on, meaning you lay it all out there and let the chips fall where they will.
Third, I never felt proud of hobbying. How can anyone be proud of paying for sex??? Only a real big time loser would feel proud of paying for sex. There is nothing fundamentally fulfilling about paying for sex. Men do it for all sorts of reasons but anyone who tells you I am proud to pay for sex should have his head checked out.
Fourth, hobbyists treat SPs like commodities. A monetary value is ascribed on a lady and we exchange information on public boards to facilitate the market. The boards act like market exchanges where an SP's value goes up much like a stock's value. There is a lot of noise based on reviews.
Is this hobby hopelessly hollow? IMHO, it always was and always will be You do not need to be a genius to figure that out. Once you accept the limits of hobbying, you gain a sense of empowerment. You ask yourself what do I fundamentally need and want and how does hobbying hinder the realization of these goals.
Why do I call agency owners. Because I felt like it. I had some thoughts about seeing an SP and I decided to sleep on it. Good thing I did because acting on impulse is always a dumb move.
As for writing on the boards. Why not? If my experience can help some poor soul who is in way over his head pissing money away on SPs and sinking into a financial and emotional hole, then it's worth my time and effort. If I piss some people off in the process with some "inconvenient truths" then so be it.
GG