Page 1 of 5 123 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 74

Thread: Self-esteem, and The Game

  1. #1
    Recreational User
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    In a house, on a street, duh.
    Posts
    1,443

    Self-esteem, and The Game

    Quote Originally Posted by traveller_76
    And while you were paying him, did your shrink mention anything re: the level of self-respect clients as yourself must have to knowingly see/pay SPs who don't have self-respect?

    t76
    Fair question, in fact, a damned good one.

    I think that there is a lot fucked up in the world, some to a greater or lesser degree than The Game, so let's keep this in context. It isn't a huge crying canker sore like, i dunno, war, pestilence, and famine, but there is a hell of a lot of pain and suffering to be found in the area of prostitution:

    Pimps
    Sex slavery
    Drug abuse (please include alcohol in here too)
    Numerous tales of historical sexual abuse
    STDs.
    Rape
    Hugely increased potential for violence and overly-rough sex.
    Hot chicks screwing fat disgusting pigs for money.

    We've been over most if not all of these, folks tend to poo-poo them, hoping to cloak themselves in a comfortable level of denial. OK, I've done that. Hell, i do that. But none of these things is endured without some negative impact upon the human psyche. Can anyone here honestly say they enjoy the work, despite all of those, perhaps especially the last one? Can any guy here say they enjoy the prospect of some young foreign girl handing over ALL the money to someone who is holding her hostage. Open your eyes and you can see it everywhere.

    NEWSFLASH: Hot chicks don't need to go too, too far to get laid, their usual choices aren't your average MERB member. I remember. I was a hot boi once upon a time too. (Luckily, I'm still charming, when I'm not being an a-hole online, and I clean up pretty good). But sure, generalizations don't fit everyone. I'm sure there is that rare breed of hot prostitute who wants to sleep with the occasionally decent older guy, and get away with a fist full of ducats. From what I've heard, decent johns are pretty rare, they run from the disgusting to the tolerable, mostly. If you close your eyes, and are high enough, you can forget for the moment. Smoke enough herb and you fall asleep at night. or so I've been told many more times than once. You tell me, T. What of it?

    So, what of the other side of the coin?

    Well, i remember rolling to my first MERB GT with ****. She and i were chillin outside and we met one of her colleagues. She asked 'Where IS the party inside the bar?'.

    Her friend replied 'Just look for the tables of men sitting there by themselves'.

    True dat. It was hilarious except it was pathetic to see table upon table of guys too shy to be talking to HOOKERS, Women who would talk to them, make them feel important, sleep with them (for money).

    I've cut down drastically on The Game. Why? Because it began to make me feel like that was the only way I could get laid, and it has been extremely beneficial and helpful for my own self-esteem to sleep with women who actually want to be in my bed, not for money, but for me.

    This past year has been a wonderful adventure for me, hanging with the hookers, watching, being watched. Got a lot of free fucks thrown my way, had some interesting un-namable relationships (friendship/custie/father-figure, love? who-the-fuck-knows) with a few of them. But it was always 'a free fuck' (except with one person). Paying cheapens what, for me, is what is wonderful about love and sex within a relationship - being wanted for oneself, not for one's wallet, or car, or home, but for one's character.

    That said, I have an unquenchable desire for variety. I've had this argument with people who have taken women's studies at Con U., but i do believe it is biological. I'm driven to spread my seed so we can better the herd. Such is my lot as a man. So, variety comes cheap and easy - just pick up any newspaper, cruise the net. No strings.

    I learned a lot about myself this past year, some of it not very pretty, but like all things in life, one grows from such learning. I am very grateful to that one person who taught me more than she knows, gave me the self-confidence to chercher la femme with a vigour and intensity and confidence that I wish I'd had when i was younger (I, uh, was never lacking in female companionship, but I regret all the women I didn't love).

    I had hit 'pause' on that for a long while, because I liked the variety, liked the ease of no-strings fucking, but it began to wear, and I found myself nearly incapable of, well, going the traditional route. My fortunate intersection with someone who cared enough to bolster my self-esteem, in part by her extended presence in my life was a gift. I'm not sure many who end up in a rut like mine will be that lucky.
    You are cordially invited to toss my salad. There's an app for that!

  2. #2
    Nice insight.

    A question for you: If I can't talk to a known SP in a public setting, what makes you think I will have the courage to change my life and talk to women who can and will say NO? We all live in our own imaginary boxes. In my box, I imagine that one day, I will not have to change, but all the hot women will change and throw themselves at me. Can I understand how this will never happen?....... yes. Can I stop hoping it will come true?... no. Am I a social retard? yes. Do I know what cool is? Yes. Will I ever learn how to be cool(for longer than 2 seconds at a time)? Most likely not.

    Do you see my problem? Without help, I am not strong enough to change anything in my life. Will I even be brave enough, to ask for help? Most likely not. It is so much easier just to book the GFE SP, to make me happy & leave me with enough memories until I can get back to Montreal.

    For me, I think I am making progress, communicating with women, by spending time with the SP's. I am not afraid to tell a woman what I like or too scared to tell her that something doesn't feel good to me. I have learned way more about women, than what I have seen in pornos....... but, yes I agree with you that this is a very incomplete sexual and social education.

    Being with SP's are as far as my own inner fears will let me go and function somewhat normal. I know that I am a fat, old, disgusting pig and that I am lucky to be fucking a young hottie. Maybe this is why, I find it so hard to talk to women that I find attractive. I know that confidence is the most attractive trait to women....... confidence is just so hard to fake and much harder to gain.

    If you are wondering, yes, I am trying to be more masculine. My friends have told me to start working out and lose my gut & build some muscle.... not so much because women won't date old, fat pigs, the main reason is so I feel better about myself. So I have joined a gym. I work in a large hotel/casino and everyday, I try to talk to women that are I have never talked to before. Maybe by the time I get back to Montreal in late May, I won't be such a mess?

    Change for me is not easy and I admire you for being able to see yourself, for who you were and change the things that you did not like. I think with all of my issues, it will take longer than a year.

    Thanks again for sharing something very personal with all of us. I will most likely come back to your original post and read it again and again. I may never be as strong or manly as you, but I know that I deserve happiness and that I am going to have to learn it just like you did....... by real life experiences, not just reading board posts and self-help books.

    HGL

  3. #3
    Recreational User
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    In a house, on a street, duh.
    Posts
    1,443
    Thanks again for sharing something very personal with all of us. I will most likely come back to your original post and read it again and again. I may never be as strong or manly as you, but I know that I deserve happiness and that I am going to have to learn it just like you did....... by real life experiences, not just reading board posts and self-help books.
    Yo Happy,

    thank YOU for what is perhaps the nicest post I've ever read on this discussion board.

    I spent some time today thinking about what I wrote, self-esteem is an interesting thing and one wonders how pervasive it really is:

    Anorexia, drug abuse, 'the great pretender' complex, women and men who accept abusive relationships, the stuff runs rampant, sometimes with tragic results.

    respect, trustworthiness, and yes, self-esteem too must be earned. So yeah, do it for yourself, drop the weight (hey, there's always something that needs toning!) and keep your eye on the prize. If what you wrote is any indication, you are obviously a good person, let it shine brother!
    You are cordially invited to toss my salad. There's an app for that!

  4. #4

    Don Quixote

    Not sure neither what this thread is exactly saying nor if any of the narrative inflicted in the seminal post addresses T_76’s “damn good question” but the passage, quoted below, caught my attention:

    Quote Originally Posted by YouVantOption
    Well, i remember rolling to my first MERB GT with ****. She and i were chillin outside and we met one of her colleagues. She asked 'Where IS the party inside the bar?'.

    Her friend replied 'Just look for the tables of men sitting there by themselves'.

    True dat. It was hilarious except it was pathetic to see table upon table of guys too shy to be talking to HOOKERS, Women who would talk to them, make them feel important, sleep with them (for money).

    I've cut down drastically on The Game. Why? Because it began to make me feel like that was the only way I could get laid, and it has been extremely beneficial and helpful for my own self-esteem to sleep with women who actually want to be in my bed, not for money, but for me.
    The position expressed by the thread starter is one built out of other’s (namely “the average Merb member and/or “fat disgusting pigs”) perceived inability to cope with the basic challenges of life (i.e. seducing women) that desperately clings to buying from escorts the recognition life has not afforded. Mr. X is a loser and the resort to prostitutes would broadcast just how inadequate he really was to begin with. “The Game”, similarly to a vicious circle, would further fuel his lack of self-esteem. Adlerian psychology for beginners.

    Now for the purpose of keeping things simple and in balance…

    There exists a far more trivial motive to resort to prostitutes, one that doesn’t encompass any of the psychological sophistication expressed here and elsewhere, be it the strive for self-esteem or self-devaluation or whatever name fits that sense of inadequacy the regular john is supposed to be afflicted with. Instead of been one’s loser, how about the following? Mr. X actually has no issues with self-esteem and no striving for compensation has been reported. He has no problem getting girl reaction, has a fulfilling sex life with women he doesn’t need to pay, in other words his confidence is just fine... and then he meets escorts on the side. Why? Not to compensate for anything, not to substitute the girlfriend he never had, not to overcome his shyness, etc… but just because he gets a kick out of it. (Is that OK or is this not sophisticated enough for the merbite endowed with superior intellect?)

    We passed Adler 101, now let’s take it a notch further.

    Here’s a group of men sitting by themselves at a party and there’s the artist portraying the said men from a remote location. Undoubtedly, the artist is not one of them. He’s – how would I put this? – special, or so he believes…

    NEWSFLASH: how heroic would Don Quixote look if it wasn’t for that sidekick Sancho Panza? I don’t know but my take on country gentlemen who believe they’re knights-errant and attack windmills is that they must be in serious need of foil characters. Just a thought and maybe also another line item on the list of pain and sufferings to be found in the area of prostitution.

  5. #5

    Oh Great Grandini what is today's answer? Pretentious!

    There exists a far more trivial motive to resort to prostitutes, one that doesn’t encompass any of the psychological sophistication expressed here and elsewhere, be it the strive for self-esteem or self-devaluation or whatever name fits that sense of inadequacy the regular john is supposed to be afflicted with. Instead of been one’s loser, how about the following? Mr. X actually has no issues with self-esteem and no striving for compensation has been reported. He has no problem getting girl reaction, has a fulfilling sex life with women he doesn’t need to pay, in other words his confidence is just fine... and then he meets escorts on the side. Why? Not to compensate for anything, not to substitute the girlfriend he never had, not to overcome his shyness, etc… but just because he gets a kick out of it. (Is that OK or is this not sophisticated enough for the merbite endowed with superior intellect?)
    Hey Ziggy! What a brilliant analysis. How did you manage to profile me and most of the other guys here so well. Kudos!

    Here’s a group of men sitting by themselves at a party and there’s the artist portraying the said men from a remote location. Undoubtedly, the artist is not one of them. He’s – how would I put this? – special, or so he believes…
    Yes this pontificating was beginning to make it hard for me to keep my lunch down.

    And Oh Great Grandini what is today's question? (All you socially challenged sexual cripples out there can fill this in I'm sure.)
    Confucius say: Man who take woman into house on side of hill - not on level.

  6. #6
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Toronto
    Posts
    21
    Wow I have so much respect for you which everyone had a brain like yours in this world

  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Equanimity
    The prospect of meeting in a group in a manner which is reminiscent of a book club strikes me as beyond.....well beyond belief quite frankly. Not sure whether this is worse than a Star Trek convention or not.

    Sorry I don't mean to be disparaging but c'mon guys seriously get some kind of a life please.

    Montreal is one of the great cities in the world to have fun in at a reasonable price. Go out have fun , book an sp after if you want. But don't sit around sipping beer and trading lapel pins and secret handshakes.
    Well I don't know if you have been to a GT. Don't believe everything of what you hear. Many of these guys are successful businessmen, articulate and with savoir faire. I have been to GT's and I can assure you that I do not sit twisted in knots bathed in the despair of a stunted social growth. I have dated beautiful girls in my lifetime and do this because it interests me recreationally. Don't get taken in by this holier than thou bullsh_t. It is precisely because Montreal is a great city and can offer experiences like this that events like GT's are so well attended. And I for one, take offense at anyone who does not know me and impugns my motives. My comment? Get a life!
    Confucius say: Man who take woman into house on side of hill - not on level.

  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Regular Guy
    Hey Ziggy! What a brilliant analysis. How did you manage to profile me and most of the other guys here so well. Kudos!
    With as much pain and effort as it takes to write "duh!"

    Quote Originally Posted by Regular Guy
    Yes this pontificating was beginning to make it hard for me to keep my lunch down.
    Consider yourself lucky to still have a gag reflex.

  9. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by Equanimity
    Actually I wasn't saying anything about your motives - it was the actions

    You are right I haven't been to at GT out of choice so perhaps it was unfair to jump to conclusions. Still......
    Actually it wasn't you who I was referring to as impugning my motives. But I do hope you have a bit of a different perspective on it all.
    Confucius say: Man who take woman into house on side of hill - not on level.

  10. #10

    you got to be strong mentally to stay in the Game man

    this hobby is not for everybody...
    first rule : dont assume anything...

  11. #11
    Quote Originally Posted by Doc Holliday
    I couldn't have said it better. Very true. I'd also like to add that i know a few people who fit in the category above but mostly see sps because they're addicted to sex & paying sps to fuel their habit is the easiest way for them to do it (and they can easily afford to). Other than that 'weakness', they're totally normal, productive happy human beings with average self-esteem who are happily married & have no confidence or shyness problems.
    True.

    Nonetheless, the discourse that is being disseminated with persistence (and pretty much always by the same few individuals) portrays johns as disgusting pigs with issues who wouldn’t get laid if it wasn’t for prostitutes.

    Interestingly, those who subscribe to the said discourse never fail to set themselves apart and, in the process, to mention their complicity with star-star-star-star et al. from whom they would be getting corroboration.

    Don’t we all know the kind!

    Well here’s the news.

    Empathy works wonders in this business, even more so with clients who need to be contrasted with foils so they can feel better about themselves. Escorts who go on about bad clients the moment they meet the first half decent guy who represents potential business are legion. I have met more than I can remember. This is an old trick of the trade. When I started meeting the ladies, some twenty years ago, I didn’t know what to make of some of the things that were being said or suggested: “you’re more interesting than others”, “better looking”, “smarter”, “better educated”, whatever. The inexperienced wonders over things of little importance: “did they mean it?” It didn’t take long I ceased asking myself the question. I couldn’t be bothered with the answer anyway.

    My sense is those who constantly need to distinguish themselves on review forums by both bringing others down and showcasing their friendship with escorts (possibly people who are falling for the old trick) are particularly susceptible of being duped by those same escorts they’re seeking approval from.

  12. #12
    The thing i found the most special, is when a man is sad to have meet me that way, and just would want that was in a different "environement", because he found me a very interesting person, but he clearly knows that it is impossible for me to mix "professional" and "personnal"... I think this is the thing the most "incoherent" for me, because, a man's already knowing, when he is booking an escort, that is a "particular professionnal service" he was asking for...That's really hard to understand for me...This situation is not something i lived with the majority, but that happened few times.
    This is a hazard of the profession for some Maria. It just goes with the territory. I have heard it expressed by people dating that they wait a bit for sex to avoid the very powerful bonding forces which can come into play when there is chemistry or even through the solicitous conversation described by Ziggy above.. That can happen in the hobby when the unwary fail to keep things in perspective.
    My personnal conclusion based on my own experience: Yes, existing some men who seems to not have the choice(physically or mentally...), for meeting a woman, to pay for her companionship. But, really, they are not the majority. Existing others reasons to see an escort, and they are really basics, believe me.
    Yes as I suspected. Some escorts would have us believe otherwise as has come out in another discussion I have been party to elsewhere. They would have us believe that this type of individual comprises the bulk of their clientele. And what if it were true? So what? This is their bread and butter. It is unfortunate the attitude of some escorts towards the clients who support them. And what is worse is to hear it on the boards. Sad!
    Last edited by Regular Guy; 03-06-2008 at 01:45 AM.
    Confucius say: Man who take woman into house on side of hill - not on level.

  13. #13
    Quote Originally Posted by Regular Guy
    Yes as I suspected. Some escorts would have us believe otherwise as has come out in another discussion I have been party to elsewhere. They would have us believe that this type of individual comprises the bulk of their clientele. And what if it were true? So what? This is their bread and butter. It is unfortunate the attitude of some escorts towards the clients who support them. And what is worse is to hear it on the boards. Sad!
    Referring specifically to Helene and her evocation of the Eleganza days squeezed in a car and denigrating clients with colleagues? That's no big revelation. In fact, that's no revelation at all. [edited]

    Which brings me back to that very interesting question RG asked, one that deploys multiple applications, and the question is: "So what?"

    So what a 18 y/o thinks I'm a loser? The old fart thinks she's a lost soul and, moreover, he face fucked her for a whole $200, a sum he earned in a matter of minutes. [edited]

    I'm being facetious here, of course. We don't think that way at all. We don't really view escorts as lost souls and, moreover, we're not upset over [edited] who view us as losers. We were once boys who mocked "old bags", 40 y/o women with sagging breasts, but we've grown up since.

    [edited]

    [edited by ZM as some comments came out harsher than he meant to be]
    Last edited by z/m(Ret); 03-07-2008 at 02:59 AM.

  14. #14
    Quote Originally Posted by Doc Holliday
    Did Karma post in this thread & missed it? If so, why were her posts removed?
    No, Doc, she has not posted in this thread. Please refer to the discussion between RG and Karma that took place in the cesspool.

  15. #15
    Quote Originally Posted by Doc Holliday
    Oh, okay...cesspool. Right. Sesame Street i call it. I don't really surf there much these days. Heard i'm banned from that place. Don't really care, though. One board per city is quite enough for the ol' Doc.
    Yeah if it gets too quiet here I look at the other board but basically I am more comfortable here. I just saw what was developing into a head game, saw the membership was having a number done on them, waited for some more senior members to deal with it, then took the plunge. Shows what happens when you get emotionally involved eh? I don't dislike karma but she just can't go around doing that stuff. It turned into quite a discussion. I can only console myself with the thought that if Ziggy hadn't been banned from there the best I would have been able to do is hold his coat.

    In any event your comment concerning your conversation with the driver, I find interesting. Kind of makes me think that perhaps in the car the girls verbally bounce off each other and it becomes, as you said a case of not showing weakness to the others. Women can be pretty hard on each other. In a case like that especially where young girls are concerned I suspect they deliberately mask their true feelings at times. I just can't believe that all would think unkindly towards all clients. From the posts and from my own experience I believe that many of the guys are quite sweet with them, not to the point of capitulation, but with a genuineness they would find hard not to be at least a little touched by. And there are just enough jerks around for the contrast to bring the point home.
    Last edited by Regular Guy; 03-06-2008 at 10:01 AM.
    Confucius say: Man who take woman into house on side of hill - not on level.

Page 1 of 5 123 ... LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •