How do you guys hide it?
Hey, I read this blog about hiding the hobby from your significant other...It seemed to cover quite a bit but thois is something thatc I'm very concerned with.
Do you guys have extremely suspiscious SO's, like me, or do your SO's not have a clue? What do you guys do in orderto keep things a secret?
Last edited by Mod 8; 04-27-2009 at 06:21 PM.
Don't hide and just tell the truth. Everyone is free to blow their money where they want. If you can't assume yourself then don't even think about it hobbying...
And some people will say "How can I hide it from my gf??" then, if you do the hobby and see SPs while you are already in a relationship and you want to hide it you are just an asshole.
If your SO is the suspicious type, she will find out - whether it's by installing a key logger on your computer or just hiring a PI to follow you around for a few days, she will find out. The only question is then will she confront you, or will you continue to live with the proverbial elephant in the room. If she doesn't have a clue, hiding it from the SO is child's play.
Originally Posted by Marauder69
But if you really want to hobby while in a good relationship (if it's a bad relationship, just get out), the key is not to neglect your wife or GF. Make sure you fuck her at least once or twice a week; hold her, kiss her, caress her, massage her, run a warm bath for her, bring her flowers, etc. Never stop courting your gf/wife. If you're nailing her regularly, she's less likely to suspect you're hobbying. If you're not touching your gf/wife, she "knows" you're getting it somewhere else.
The best however is to tell the truth. It took me a long long time to bring my wife into this part of my life, but when it happened it was a huge weight off my shoulders. We had our jealousy-induced screaming matches, but eventually we worked everything out. But if you want her to be OK with you fucking other women, be prepared for her to fuck other guys. If you can't handle that, either stop hobbying or get out of your relationship.
i use the tuck method.
Originally Posted by Marauder69
oh... ummm... nevermind.
Originally Posted by Marauder69
Can't understand somebody paying for sex when he can have it for free. I mean i am willing to pay for sex only because its my last resort for it... And i am still ashame of it.
VIP-9 Coming This Fall
DONT BE ASHAMED!
you pay for it ALOT more in most relationships than you ever will from a Escort, trust me
i cant speak for everyone , but i seriously doubt that men who are paying for "it" are all horrible looking guys and cant find a woman, i would assume for most men its the thrill for one, second its a way to have pleasure without the BS that comes from home or a relationship, and for others it's simply an addiction...... and i am sure there are other reasons as well
dont feel ashamed
Originally Posted by Halloween Mike
I agree with both these points. A man may crave variety or a more youthful bod. Not there yet.
Originally Posted by lgna69xxx
The thing I would be most worried about if I was in a relationship would be the STD risk. I mean, aren't you even a bit worried about that? If you get something minor that is easily cured it will still be a big deal if your SO gets
it too, it will also look twice as bad to friends and family, no?
VIP-9 Coming This Fall
i agree here with you, thats why my "opinon" is that anyone in a relationship, shouldnt risk there partners health, same goes for the gf as does the bf....... in other words if in a relationship, dont hobby, and if you must, then go 100% SAFELY..... again, my opinon only
Originally Posted by Dr Edgar Who
I don't hide anything. She helps me pick out some likely candidates before I go and likes to hear about what she calls my "adventures" afterwards. Once she called to get the lowdown but my appointment had started late and my new friend was still there. "Oh," she said, "are you right in the middle of someone? I'll call back later." Sometimes she comes with me.
I posted this on another board a year ago. Here's my list of dos and don'ts rigourously implemented back when I hid my hobbying from the wife.
6. This one is obvious but it bears repeating. Have a good cover story for why you are away from home and work and unavailable by cell phone. Depending on your line of work meeting clients is the standard story.
5. Cover your financial tracks. It helps if your business gives you access to a source of untraceable cash (construction and restaurants are good; lawyers, accountants and other professionals sometimes get paid in cash).
4. Some would advise you to get a "beard", meaning have a good friend who knows about your hobbying, will cover for you, and who holds a sealed envelope with instructions about what to do in the case of your accidental death (i.e. delete email accounts, delete browsing history, destroy incriminating hobbying evidence, pay off any secret "hobbying" credit card or close out a secret hobbying bank account, etc.).
I advise against this. Chances are you will not die in an accident. If you're worried about what the Missus will find after you are gone, don't hobby. My advice is to tell no one about the hobby. Do not tell buddies, if someone you know talks to you about escorts, MPs, etc., feign ignorance. The more people who know you hobby, the greater the chances of being found out.
3. Do not go to strip clubs in your home city unless the Missus approves. Someone who knows you will see you one day, the Missus will find out, and will suspect you, even if you protest that you only went with a business client and did nothing more than look.
2.Carry your own soap with you. Make sure you wash off all trace of any scent of the escort. Join a health club with a swimming pool. After sex with an escort go for a swim; the chlorine will purge any residual scent. Do not use the health club as an excuse to go visit escorts. Something the Missus may perceive as an emergency may come up and she may try to get ahold of you at the club - and then you're busted.
1. And this is the most important one. Fuck your wife or girlfriend regularly. If you're not banging her, she already knows you're fucking someone else. But give her a good pounding once or twice a week and she'll never suspect anything, and will even mistrust her own intuition if you slip up a little once or twice.
Here are a few more tips. When you're having sex with your wife/gf/so:
Don't hand your wife an envelope of cash before getting into bed.
Don't ask her about her restrictions.
Don't ask her if GFE, CIM or greek is extra.
Don't ask her if she's new to the business.
After you orgasm, don't tell her there's 20 minutes left and you'd like to try for another SOG.
Don't ask her if you can post a review.
The secret will eventually come out
Everyone has different circumstances but I'm with MuffinBuffer. I hated trying to keep this a secret and eventually you'll get caught out. It took me literally 10 years to gradually drop hints about the Hobby. I used to retell a story to her about going to a MP. The first time I told her it was just a massage and everytime I would retell it I would add a new detail until I made it to the FS part. I also started to take her to upscale strip clubs etc. By then it was no big deal for her. Then I mentioned select other encounters. Still no big deal. Now when I am in Montreal she logs in to in Internet and picks out girls for me.
The secret is to have a strong relationship, not let up on the sex, don't try and tell her as some dramatic confession - its just sex afterall. Finally (and this is a tough one) you cannot tell her she can't go out and find some fun. It doesnt mean that she wants to, it just makes it fair. Also you may not like to admit this but while you've concentrated on keeping your hobby a secret you've not noticed that there's a good chance that she's had a couple of one-night stands when you weren't around that she's slightly guilty about. That might work in your favor and she'll go easy on you when you tell her
In my experience, if a woman is good looking, has a strong sex drive and enjoys sex, unless you're banging her 24/7, chances are she's slept around a bit. Attractive, sexually confident women exude a certain sex appeal that men pick up on. My wife is no supermodel but she's attractive and confident. Men flirt with her, hit on her or proposition her on almost a daily basis. It's no surprise she's taken a roll in the sack with a couple of them over the years.
Originally Posted by saturiasis