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Thread: Escorting is Power?

  1. #1
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    Escorting is Power?

    Hello all,

    This is a selection of excerpts from a much longer article. I found several of the assertions and characterizations interesting and provocative, especially when comparing prostitution to marriage. Generally, these excerpts are about escorts rather than street walkers or other prostitution models. No comments from me for now.

    Remember that I find the positions in the article interesting. Some of the terms used are distasteful, but inevitable in a frank article. So, what do you think about the assertions here???

    http://sex.perkel.com/escort/shygirl.htm

    Prostitutes are women who have a lot of sexual power.

    Prostitution isn't just a money thing. It's also very sexual, very personal, and very intimate. It's a very different experience than what is depicted in the media. And, due to new technology and the Internet, you can now pick and choose who you are going to be with in a manner that is sexually satisfying for both of you. And you don't have to be a 20 year old Barbie to do this. You can be an unattractive heavy woman over 50, and there are still lots of guys out there who will pay you to have sex with them. Interestingly enough, guy will pay to have sex with someone who they would turn down in a bar for free.

    Prostitutes are powerful women and having men pay you for sex is something that will build your confidence and self esteem. It will also shatter media myths that men only want a specific and rare body style. And sex as a prostitute has a quality that you just can't experience in free sex. And it's a quality that is very erotic for both men and women. The act of giving and receiving money for sex creates a highly charged sexual atmosphere. It is a very deliberate sexual act that eliminate many other extraneous factors that distract one's focus from pure sexuality.

    As a prostitute, you are there for a pure sexual experience. It is a deliberate erotic act. It is a way for you to explore your sexual limits as a woman in an environment where you are not only allowed to, but are expected and encouraged to get as nasty as you always wanted to be. Things that you might find awkward or embarrassing to try with lovers, you can do in the sexual role of whore. Whores have a lot of sexual power and it gives a lot of women a sense of personal accomplishment to know that they can do it. Even if they only tried it once. And with the new technologies of the Internet, women can experience it in a much safer manner than ever.

    Almost every woman I've ever known have a secret envy of prostitutes and have wondered what it would feel like sexually to actually be a whore. It is a very erotic concept for women to fantasize over. But in these fantasies, the man is an guy that she is sexually attracted to --- a mysterious stranger --- but someone of her choosing. Traditional prostitution doesn't give women the element of choice, thus there is a separation between the fantasy and reality. But, due to the new technology of the Internet, the element of choice is restored allowing women to actually do it, but with the type of guy who understands this as a form of sexual pleasure for women to experience.

    Is it moral? Is it legal? I would argue that this is not significantly different than women who date only rich guys who buy them things. Is it "selling yourself"? I think selling yourself is getting married to a guy who you don't really love so as to be financially secure. This isn't even renting yourself, because you are choosing who you want to be with based on your attraction to him and that you have a sexual experience that you both understand you want. This article is about sexuality and not about income --- and is no different that other sex fantasy instruction sites that teach Bondage, Domination, and other forms of fancy sexual experiences. The information on prostitution here is focused on the female sexual experience element and having that experience in as safe and sexually satisfying way.

    Many women become cyberwhores, not specifically for the money, but to fulfill their sexual fantasies about being a prostitute. A prostitute is a very powerful sexual role that allows women to experience sexual power in a new an adventurous way. You may have fantasies about what it feels like to be a prostitute, what he would look like, where you would meet, and what you would do. If your fantasy isn't too unreal, you can actually make it come true in the way you imagined it would. And to do that, your ad can be the first step in conveying a message that will lead to it happening the way always wanted it. The message in your ad sets the tone of the relationship.


    Hmmm,

    Merlot
    Last edited by Merlot; 07-13-2009 at 01:39 PM.

  2. #2
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    Wow! I could have written that article myself (If I could write properly in English that is )!! Well, almost.

    There is one thing that annoys me though: when she implies that a lot of escorts feel this way about sex work. I don't believe this one second. I think we are a minority. And the more I get to know other SPs, the more convinced I am.

    I also don't agree with her when she says: "Interestingly enough, guy will pay to have sex with someone who they would turn down in a bar for free.". But who knows, I could be wrong. How do you guys feel about that assumption?

    Oh, I almost forgot... There is also another thing I don't agree with. When she says: "Prostitutes are powerful women and having men pay you for sex is something that will build your confidence and self esteem." She says that as if it were a given when we all know that getting paid for sex can lead to the exact opposite for many many women. Personaly, I don't think it has affected my self-esteem one way or the other. It is very flattering to be chosen and receive money for your company... but I don't think flattery is what makes you more confident about yourself.
    Last edited by Ariane Valmont; 07-13-2009 at 02:08 PM.
    "We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are." - Ana´s Nin

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Doc Holliday
    Which part?



    I actually find it to be true. Trust me, in my 'hobbyist life', i've paid & had sex with quite a few 'homely' women in my lifetime. I even repeated with some of them, believe it or not. Long story, but i guess you can figure it out. Anyways, that's why when i do see someone today, it's someone i know about, have researched about & has been highly recommended by people whose tastes in women i share.
    For example, this part:

    "As a prostitute, you are there for a pure sexual experience. It is a deliberate erotic act."

    Maybe my interpretation is not good but to me, it sounds like she is speaking for all sex workers. Most women I have spoken to are NOT there for pure sexual experience. They are there for pure financial experience!

    Yes, contrary to what some of you believe (wink wink at jeff jones!), there are women who enjoy very much the sexual aspect of being an escort. Is it the case for most women? I don't believe that.

    As for the rest of your post... Of course, I am sure you guys sometimes end up paying for women you would not have chosen in real life. But it's more like a... "mistake", isn't it? I mean, the woman that knocks to your door is not as expected and you do not want to send her away so you pay her anyway. It's not a deliberate choice to have sex with a woman you do not really find attractive, is it? Not sure I am being clear here.
    "We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are." - Ana´s Nin

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ariane Valmont
    Wow! I could have written that article myself (If I could write properly in English that is )!! Well, almost.

    There is one thing that annoys me though: when she implies that a lot of escorts feel this way about sex work. I don't believe this one second. I think we are a minority. And the more I get to know other SPs, the more convinced I am.

    I also don't agree with her when she says: "Interestingly enough, guy will pay to have sex with someone who they would turn down in a bar for free.". But who knows, I could be wrong. How do you guys feel about that assumption?

    Oh, I almost forgot... There is also another thing I don't agree with. When she says: "Prostitutes are powerful women and having men pay you for sex is something that will build your confidence and self esteem." She says that as if it were a given when we all know that getting paid for sex can lead to the exact opposite for many many women. Personaly, I don't think it has affected my self-esteem one way or the other. It is very flattering to be chosen and receive money for your company... but I don't think flattery is what makes you more confident about yourself.
    Hello Ariane,

    When I read this article it seemed like a big "pie in the sky" (over-idealized) recruitment promotion. It seems much too positive. But taken as is, it doesn't seem to fit most escorts, as you suggested. The power and satisfaction described in the article seems to be much more closely related to independent escorts who would have much more control and choice than agency escorts.

    I don't agree that men will be more likely to pay for sex with someone they would turn down in a bar for free, unless that is a vague reference to the greater possibility of being able to act out fantasy with an escort which might be denied with a an opportunity of free sex with a person not obligated by payment to provide a fantasy. But for me, the suggestion I would accept someone much less attractive when paying for sex is quite untrue. Though I have discovered I like more physical types than previously expected.

    I tend to agree with your suggestion that being paid for sex is not usually a self-esteem building act. I believe that those who have not never been escorts might have such fantasies, but only a small number of escorts really feel better about themselves than before about being in the escort business, though I am sure there are those who do enjoy it and also feel empowered.

    Overall, I think the article is an very unrealistic best case scenario.

    Cheers,

    Merlot

  5. #5
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    While I agree with most of what has been said, I do in fact like this man's web site. I also can see from my personal experience where he is coming from. Being an indy SP (which is what he advocates) can be very empowering. It all depends on your own attitude and POV.

    I have often referred people to his site, though not this page in particular. His How to Use Escort Services; A Men's Guide page.

    Ronnie,
    Naughtylady
    They will forget what you said,
    they will forget what you did,
    but they will never forget the way you made them feel.

  6. #6
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    Jeff, your name came up because I can read your mind!

    Doc, I understand what you mean.

    But today, with the variety of services offered, I do believe that if a man pays for a lady he doesn't find attractive, it is either because he does not have the money to afford someone better (better in his eyes, of course) or because she is not as advertised and he is too nice (or too horny!) to send her away.

    That being said, "back in the days", I guess it made sense to lower your standards so you could find a particular service. If I were a man, I would have done the same thing.

    Merlot, yes, you're right, the article is at times "over-idealized". But I find that of most what he (thanks Ronnie for pointed that out. I thought the text was written by a woman) said is relevant and can be applied to the experience of a "mature" independent escort who chose the sex trade because of the money, yes, but also because she had a fantasy to fulfill.
    "We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are." - Ana´s Nin

  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by jeff jones
    This brings back memories of the old days get out the yellow pages or a newspaper look at the ads, call keep your fingers crossed and hope for the best. At times i had some pleasant surprises and at times i had some real ugly ones show up. I'll tell you just how scary it got sometimes, the sp would show up and i would be the best looking one in the room, not exactly what i was looking for but being the gentleman that old Jeff is known to be despite this i never sent them away once
    Don't tell me Jeff has a soft and sentimental side that we never saw! I just got all warm and fuzzy inside thinking about how you were sensitive to the feelings of those not so comely maidens who showed up at your door feeling very appreciated for their feminine charms. And you gave of yourself. (Now where is that box of kleenex I have around here somewhere) Snnniiiff! Excuse me I think I have something in my eye.
    Confucius say: Man who take woman into house on side of hill - not on level.

  8. #8

    Supply and demand.

    Anytime one person has something that another person wants, the person that has the supply will have power over the personal wanting the service or the goods. If you want a McHappy meal you will have to pay out the $5 - 6 reqired to aquire the McHappy meal.
    Sex is no different, even theough the supply has increased in Montreal there is still a demand for sexual favors.

  9. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by Doc Holliday View Post
    someone calling me "Manwhore". I used to HATE that nickname!!!!
    'Manwhore' suggests that your making money off of your sexual encounters. What haven't you been telling us Doc?

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by breadman View Post
    'Manwhore' suggests that your making money off of your sexual encounters. What haven't you been telling us Doc?
    Hey, your the one who first gave me that nickname!! You do the explaining!!

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