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Thread: No show/no call: Insight from an SP

  1. #1
    Sinful Sweetheart ;)
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    Exclamation No show/no call: Insight from an SP

    I originally wrote this post in response to certain subjects brought up in another thread in the "Outcall Escort" forum but didn't want to get in the middle of anything and thought it may be interesting to make a separate thread of this discussion. Here is what I had written:


    I will respond to some points brought out in this discussion as I have read a few statements (some which I have read numerous times before) that really bother me. My comments do not address in any way the lady mentioned in this thread or any other, they are my own views and opinions.

    Cancellations and no shows/no calls are sometimes part of the business, unfortunately. Even in higher end escorts it can and does happen although usually it's a rare happenstance as calling as early as possible to cancel when a problem arises on our part is very important and a very important rule that the majority of us take to heart.

    I myself have been guilty of this on a couple of occasions and I know it may be hard for you to believe but to this day I still feel enormous guilt about those situations. One of my better qualities and probably the one I am most proud of is my empathy towards others, sometimes to the point of excess. I understand very well what you gentlemen go through planning an encounter, choosing someone that you like and the excitement of setting things up and then the actual date itself. To experience a no show/no call IMO has to be the worst possible situation followed by dissapointment in the escort (not as advertized, unkempt, bad attitude or hygiene, etc.).

    I have myself hired on a few occasions some escorts and have lived the experiences and also have live the dissapointment of a no show/no call... I don't think I need to echo the feelings that come with a situation like this as I'm sure most of you know or can imagine it very well.

    So how can an escort who seems to understand so well what are the ramifications of a no show/no call and who labels herself as being professional still let this happen??? In my experience, some thing just happen and as hard as it is to believe, there are situations that can prevent us from making the said appointment and calling in a timely fashion to cancel.

    I've had some wierd stuff happen to me sometimes down to the really simple, almost ridiculous things. Last summer I was indeed stung by a wasp and discovered the very unfortunate way that I was allergic. I went through antiphylactic shock and had problems re-establishing my airways, I spent 3 days in the hospital. On a couple of occasions I honestly did fall asleep or didn't wake up. This is SO frustrating as it is such a stupid reason! I regularly take naps before appointments to be sure I have refreshed and energized. I can be a very deep sleeper and not wake up to an alarm. I have since found a solution to prevent any more disaster from happening this way, thankfully! It took some creative thinking!!! lol Just recently, I had another wierd happenstance. I was cleaning one of my animal's cages and got a small peice of woodchip in my eye. I tried flushing it out myself but couldn't and had to go to a clinic...

    One of the things I read commonly about situations why an escort doesn't show is that she took another appointment for whatever reason, the most common one being that she went for more money. Honestly, this infuriates me as it is rarely if ever the reason. I'm not saying that it never happens. I'm saying it is very rare that this is the reason. I myself have never done this and the escorts I have met (save one) have never done this either. There are so many reasons we miss appointments wether we call or not, I really don't understand why the first assumption on the gentleman's part (most often) is that she decided to see someone else for more money or another reason.

    Some escorts are known for their total profesionalism and rarely if ever have had a no show/no call situation. I honestly wish I could say the same of myself but I can't and am working on eliminating obtaning such a reputation. This can only be done by my proving myself over time and I very well know that. Although it is not something that has happened very often with me, it still has and that bothers me alone! This is also the big reason that I have instituted my cancellation policy and posted it publicly on my website. I hope it is a fair way to deal with these situations.

    This is a business that is different than others in many respects and harder to maintain the same levels of profesionalism than in other fields IMO. I see many references in posts saying that people keep all their appointments, etc. often comparing appoitments to other service professionals such as doctors, lawyers, accountants, etc. Having worked in many different fields of business myself, I admit it is harder to maintain a high level of professionalism in certain aspects of the sex industry.

    Understand that a non-sexual appointment is much easier to keep and much less demanding than a sexual one. It's very easy to be 100% punctual in "regular" jobs. You get ready and attend to business. In these situations it is easier to deal with other issues at the same time, dealing with a personal issue or problem, not in top physical shape, etc. In our business, we have to be 100% tip top shape in every way. Not only do we have to appear impeccable down to the smallest detail which can be a very lengthy process, especially for a woman! We have to be in top physical shape and especially top emotional state. We aren't just sharing our professional expertise in an appointment but sharing a lot of ourselves. We have no "breaks" so to speak and are continuously "on" during an appointment making sure to give the best quality entertainment possible. Of course we are normal people too but in such a context my priority is who I am spending time with and giving it my all, my personal life has no business coming out in this type of situation. It is work that is very taxing mentally as we need to be able to separate many different aspects of our lives on a minutes notice and maintain it for long periods of time flawlessly. Long sessions can be very pleasant for many reasons but very taxing as well. Entertaining someone continously for a day or two, being as perfect as you can isn't always easy!

    I don't want to come off sounding like I do not like what I do because I do enjoy it very much. I just hope to bring forth a different side to the situations you experience. It's not always as simple as it seems!

    Racquelle
    "When I'm good, I'm very good. But when I'm bad, I'm even better!" -- Mae West

  2. #2
    As a side topic but has some relevance to the discussion at hand. Does someone else answer your emails under the name of Sam? I ask this because I tried once to make an appointment with Coralie thru your email when she had email problems (as stated I believe on your web page or on TBD I forget). Well this Sam did acknowledge the email for the appointment stating that she would be free that day but nothing ever happened. I tried several times to confirm the hour etc but to no avail, actually no response what so ever.

    I am Just wondering if someone else could be receiving emails and deleting them.

    It didn’t bother me at the time because seeing that no confirmation was actually set I got in touch with someone else.



  3. #3
    Sinful Sweetheart ;)
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    Hi HappyDan,

    To answer your question, no. No one else answers my emails or Coralie's. We both answer our own mail and neither of us has access to the other's mailbox either. She has recently had problems with her email accounts but all that has been rectified.

    From what you explain about this "Sam", I believe you may have mixed up emailing Coralie and Les Courtisanes. I remember reading a thread by Lolita the operator of that agency explaining that she had a close friend help her manage the agency and his name was Sam. I see this as the most plausible explanation of what happened.

    Coralie also travels frequently, so sometimes she is hard to reach and will not respond to her emails until her return to Montreal. I am currently in the process of redesigning our site with new features and frequent updates especially regarding availabilities. Our new site will be updated at least once a week to reflect any changes in our schedules and availabilities. Our new site should be finished by next week, I am aiming for the the 9th or earlier but it will depend on how fast I can figure out a couple of bugs and put on all the finishing touches.

    Racquelle


    "When I'm good, I'm very good. But when I'm bad, I'm even better!" -- Mae West

  4. #4
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    Racquelle, I just want to make a couple of points that are very important from the hobbyist side of things.

    First and foremost, especially when dealing with a high end provider ($250-$500 an hour range), the expectation levels are set differently from the $80-$120 out of the newspaper agency girls. It is no different an expectation level than the difference from a 4 star restaurant and any number of chain eateries. You automatically set your expectations based on the scenerio and the circumstances.

    HDSPs are charging for a premuim experience, and that experience includes such basic things are punctuality, appropriate appearance for the occasion, and most importantly, not over booking themselves so as to create issues. it also means not booking ones self when there is the potential for conflict or complications.

    Real life does step in, and it does affect things, but then those problems should be well communicated and nobody should be left sitting waiting for a knock on the door that isn't going to happen. If someone is going to shell out maybe $500 for a superior experience, they are going to expect that EVERY PIECES OF THE PROCESS will be superior.

    Girls being 100% no show without any contact is just bad business, bad personally, and they should not be shocked to get bad reviews as a result. A little responsibility on the part of the girl would go a long way to making this all work better.

    MATt
    Your mileage may vary... mine did!

  5. #5

    real life stepping in

    This is a good thread. First, I personally would not assume that a lady who did not show had taken a better offer. There are many reasons that could be involved, good and bad. As MaT said, real life does step in, and unavoidable circumstances do happen. Obviously a medical emergency would be an excuse for anyone, as would various other situations which can spring up unexpectedly. I do not think oversleeping is ever a valid excuse, although it probably does happen at least once to most people. I'm sure a few people have been fired from jobs for such occurences. I don't think that certain professions are more prone than others, or that it is more acceptable for sp's than the general public.

    I read Racquelle's cancellation policy that she referred to in her post, and notice that she makes certain compensation for cancellations on short notice. This seems to be a reasonable solution for many situations where some notice, albeit short notice, is involved. I don't think anyone would expect any compensation for a real medical emergency. It is not clear what her policy would be in regard to a situation where she simply overslept and did not show, leaving a gentleman holding his own. I doubt the situation ever came up with her, but I'm sure that a prompt communication would be in order, and being too busy the next day wouldn't be a good excuse for not explaining immediately. Similarly, I think that if a client simply did not show, did not call, then explained days later that he had overslept that the sp would be inclined to schedule another appointment for that client in the future.

    An older, wiser person told me not so long ago that we all make mistakes. The key to being successful is how well we recover from them.

  6. #6
    Sinful Sweetheart ;)
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    MATt: I agree with your points entirely.

    chowhound: I will clarify a bit more on my cancellation policy the way I see it. When I came up with my policy, almost a year ago it was due to an unforeseen circumstance and I wanted to have something written on my site about it. I don't make a difference as to the reason of the cancellation, it is applied in all situations. Wether it was a medical emergency or I slept too long, I feel that a cancellation is a cancellation and both deserve to benefit from my policy. If a gentleman has taken the time to book an appointment and all that goes with it, even if it is a medical emergency that has kept me from going I still insist on making it up. Even if I had no fault in the cancellation, the gentleman did not get what was expected. As a general rule of business I think it's better to compensate my client for the mishap than to see which reasons warrant a compensation. I don't think it would be fair to apply my policy in certain situations only. I've also stopped giving explanations for cancellations as the reason of my absence doesn't change anything, I only explain on request.

    I wasn't trying to imply in my original post that I think that it should be more acceptable for sps to be unprofessional than in other fields. I was just trying to point out some things that may be overlooked from the customer's point of view.

    Last minute cancelling: The SP calls before the said appointment to cancel. This is another situation I've encountered a couple of times and relates to what I am trying to explain in the earlier paragraph.

    Even when an appointment is booked in advance, all is well and the said days arrives. I've known for some time that I have an appointment on the said day and timed and make the appropriate preparations. Something unexpected happens which really distracts you and completely changes your frame of mind. Now I'm in a situation where I'm able to go to the appointment but am honestly not in the right frame of mind to garantee the best time for my guest. What do I do??? Do I go and risk dissapointing the gentleman being edgy and unable to do my work 100%? Or do I call and cancel?

    My cancellation policy was instituted to cover these types of instances that unfortunately do happen although infrequently. I can easily say that the percentage of problems arising in an appointment are quite low considering I majoritarily have very successful encounter. I just care about those I do mess up with and hope to make things right.

    chowhound brought up an interesting point with this:
    Similarly, I think that if a client simply did not show, did not call, then explained days later that he had overslept that the sp would be inclined to schedule another appointment for that client in the future.
    I love that it is a client that brought up this point! As an escort, this is something that happens on a regular basis and it's a very displeasing event for many reasons. Just as you gentlemen feel disrespected when an escort didn't even bother to call to cancel. Having a customer take your time, get you all dolled up to leave you in the cold is frustrating.

    Of course it is part of the business and one we have to live with but it's quite surprising how many "classy" gentlemen we interact with are nothing but. We have very little if any recourse to avoid such things.

    I can assure you that I have been cancelled or left waiting far more times than I have done it by many many times over.

    Racquelle
    "When I'm good, I'm very good. But when I'm bad, I'm even better!" -- Mae West

  7. #7

    correction

    In reading the quote from my post, I notice that I made a mistake. I intended to say that the sp would not be inclined to make another appointment with a client who gave a bad excuse days later, not the other way around. I would edit it, but then it would not be clear what happened. Sorry for the confusion.

  8. #8
    Sinful Sweetheart ;)
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    I understood it the way you had meant it

    Racquelle
    "When I'm good, I'm very good. But when I'm bad, I'm even better!" -- Mae West

  9. #9
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    Racquelle, you are someone who obviously understands that this is both a business and a "pleasure" - you cannot do your business properly when your not in the right circumstances. That would remove the pleasure, and make it an unacceptable deal for all involved.

    More importantly, you clearly understand the responsibility issues that come with having to or feeling the need to cancel an appointment. There is no excuse for being rude to clients, there is no reason to ignore clients. We too live in the real world, and we too experience situations that change plans.

    A little understanding goes a long way, ya? :-)

    In the end, it isn't that you have to cancel, or have to be late, or have to re-arrange things, it is how you handle those circumstances and the fallout as a result. That seperates the successes from the failures in any situation!

    MATt
    Your mileage may vary... mine did!

  10. #10
    Resident Sage Asshole
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    Originally posted by ManAboutTown
    Racquelle, you are someone who obviously understands that this is both a business and a "pleasure" - you cannot do your business properly when your not in the right circumstances. That would remove the pleasure, and make it an unacceptable deal for all involved.

    More importantly, you clearly understand the responsibility issues that come with having to or feeling the need to cancel an appointment. There is no excuse for being rude to clients, there is no reason to ignore clients. We too live in the real world, and we too experience situations that change plans.

    A little understanding goes a long way, ya? :-)

    In the end, it isn't that you have to cancel, or have to be late, or have to re-arrange things, it is how you handle those circumstances and the fallout as a result. That seperates the successes from the failures in any situation!

    MATt
    Now that is very sage advice...

    EBS
    mi nombre en inglés es "Good Sam"

  11. #11
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    To Racquelle:

    Racquelle,

    I am glad you started this thread to discuss general issues apart from any single incident or person or pair of people.

    Several things caught my eye in your posts. You wrote: "I understand very well what you gentlemen go through planning an encounter, choosing someone that you like and the excitement of setting things up and then the actual date itself. To experience a no show/no call IMO has to be the worst possible situation followed by disappointment in the escort (not as advertized, unkempt, bad attitude or hygiene, etc.)."

    You are entirely right, a lot of emotion and anticipation and planning can go into setting up an escort encounter. Today, with so many independents arranging bookings far in advance there is a lot more anticipation than in the old days with simply calling an agency when one arrives in town. It is easy to imagine a guy reading a post about a woman who comes to fascinate him. Asking around for more information. Then maybe several e-mail with the woman. And finally, maybe months later, getting reading for the appointment itself. If you have read any of my past posts you have probably been able to infer that I believe the customer has to be an active player too. Just because one is paying money doesn't negate the fact that a two-way collaborative effort in setting the mood is nearly always better than expecting to be passively "taken care of." So this may involve some shopping and thought about what might be most appropriate. So when things don't work out a guy can feel like Charley Chaplin in "The Gold Rush." And while a last minute subsitute maybe better than nothing, in may involve a major change in mindset.

    You also wrote, that there are aspects in the escort/client relationship that make it somewhat different than other businesses. Emotions are likely to involved for all the players. The escort has to really be in a good mood and the client may work to put himself in the best possible mood too. (And that does raise the ticklish question what happens when the escort unexpectedly has some negative event happen and throws her off her emotional "game." I have had some escorts cancel or reschedule, offer to do one hour only, or continue with the appointment only if the client accepts that she is not at her best.)

    Several posts in recent days point out that even with the best laid plans things just can go drastically wrong. I have been in this avocation for a little over four years and perhaps have made somewhere around 90 bookings. I would guess that 30% involved some rescheduling and maybe two-thirds of those involved a cancellation and a last minute search (assisted or not) for a substitute. So with those statistics (and I do my best to deal with reliable people) I have come to realize that some of these planned encounters just are not going to come off as planned. To think otherwise is not to live in the real world. I live about 1500 km away from Montreal (with very bad travel connections) and I can't just fly up there anytime I feel like it. So when things go wrong it hurts. I usually try to plan a four or five day stay to accommodate the unexpected. Of course many guys who come to Montreal on business may not have that flexibility. I have read posts of guys who were only in Montreal for a day and may never get a chance to return and when their appointments fell through at the last moment one could certainly feel their pain. However painful, things like this can happen. I always come with a plan A, B and C and have sometimes needed to improvise plan D and E. A few have even had happy surprise endings, but sometimes one must just swallow the bitter pill.

    I empathize with your reaction to some recent posts that suggest escorts are inherent liars. Actually as far as scheduling goes, escorts have nearly always told me the truth. The same can't be said for some agency owner/receptionists but one learns who is more or less trust worthy and the "boards" can help there.

    This thread is bringing me a flood of memories of sudden changes of plan and the like, but I better stop here (at least for today).

    It may be true that good luck is the residue of design (as one baseball sage put it) but every so often one just gets a bad hop.

    Take care, all, and smell the roses,

    Touch

  12. #12
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    raquelle

    I appreciate your post. I have not seen it until now. xxxxxxlewlo
    lewlo

  13. #13
    "good luck is the residue of design (as one baseball sage put it)"


    That's elegantly phrased. Who was the baseball sage?

  14. #14
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    Re: other side of the coin

    Originally posted by miss caroline
    There is also the other side of the coin:

    And its always nice to hear that side as well, Miss Caroline..


    Originally posted by miss caroline
    I am not by any means professing to always be able to commit to a suggested date of an appointment due to unexpected events in my personal life but I always do try to compensate by letting them know as early as possible and arranging for a different time.



    Speaking for myself, I set up appointments in such a way that I only see one client maximum a day. There have been a few instances in which a client and I would email back and forth to establish a date, and then the day before or even on the day of the proposed date, I would email the client for a final confirmation only not to hear from that client and ended up realizing at the very last minute that this client is a no-show who didn't have the courtesy to at least email to cancel. This indicates lack of respect and courtesy.
    [/B]
    Many of the guys here do believe that only providers lie and cancel appointments for needless reasons or no show or no call. Thank you for giving us a notion of your experiences. I would suggest that escorts start reporting their inconsiderate no-shows. If you set up a resource such as this on the web, where ladies could trade information, maybe you might reduce your exposure to idiots. It might also keep idiots from tying up board space posting their useless personal experiences too. I had 13 appointments booked for my last trip in Montreal, 3 of them were cancelled last minute, 2 of them were a lot less than satisfactory.
    None of them consumed any airtime here.

    Originally posted by miss caroline

    In a way, I'm a tad frustrated with the one-sidedness of various issues presented on this board ranging from the "rating" system to talking about how some escorts wouldn't practice unsafe sex when asked or offered more money and then being poorly rated for it. An escort gets a lower rating because she wouldn't risk her health for money? That's absolutely appalling. And it only serves to portray the reviewer in a true light that is not at all flattering nor commendable.
    Miss Caroline, I suspect you realize that this board is primarily patronized by clients. There is no rule that escorts cannot post here. There is also no rule that clients have to be misogynist assholes. And there is a wide variety of socioeconomic background and service requirements here, and sex is often discussed in an unabashed fashion. This is pay for play and there are a lot of guys who want to know what they are paying for. We either talk about it here, or you can tell us on the phone or email. In essence, this is like a locker room. What you are going to read here from time to time will be uncensored commentary from the boys. What I like seeing here on this thread is that Raquelle has started a topic and now other ladies such as you, and interested clients, have traded notes. With more interaction like this, there can be more understanding between parties. Invite some girlfriends to the board. My suggestion, don’t register under your working name. That way you can speak your piece and go about your business without having clients from here harass you.

    As for rating systems: They are so inconsistent they mean very little. Few men have ever seen a ten yet more than the usual numbers of 10s appear in these reviews. We have entire agencies with all the girls ranked with 5’s, yet there is a wide variance in their looks and quality of services. Men are both visual and some are numerical. So they like to use numbers. If you don’t put measurements in your ads, the majority of men will ask for them. If you do, they’ll ask for them anyway..LOL. The only objective part of a rating is the service. And we can only assume it is objective, because the escort will either perform the service or she doesn’t. The client doesn’t tell us he didn’t shower, so there’s the hiccup. And different clients demand different services. I have suggested a numerical score for a rating that would allow the client to rate an escort publicly and the score itself would tell the educated reader what to expect in the level of sex services. Each provider sets her own risk tolerance and the trick is to match provider risk tolerance with client to at least get a basis for satisfaction from an encounter. I prefer the European standard of service; one adhered to by many of the Quebecoise ladies. So my rating system is skewed toward providers who are comfortable with working to those standards. In my last trip, I ranked 13 ladies. My top 2 ladies were all GFE European standard of service, yet lady number 3, was not. She scored so high in the other categories as to give her a no. 3 ranking, when pre-trip she was ranked dead last. So when a ranking and rating system is applied, and applied consistently by each reviewer, then its meaning can be understood and the difference between your overall score of say 8.475 with a GFE rating of 8.75 and another providers overall score of 8.785 with a GFE rating of 9, is that you are a very competent escort that delivers a full suite of “safe” services. The reviewer would rate you in four areas, Face, body, service, attitude). Calculate GFE as an average of service+attitude, and the overall is F,C,S,A divided by 4. Here safe would mean DATY, and kissing of some sort with CBJ. Standard half and half only, six points is a minimum score in my system for service. The other component is attitude, and here a lady can score well without being a service robot. As I look at a chart full of ladies that have been scored this way, I can pick out the ones who standout for certain things. The numbers when scientifically applied, allow me to calculate a pleasure index. It would tell me who in my list would be the best overall choice for a date. Consistently many ladies who do not score high enough to make a GFE for me, are at the top of the lists for overall quality. To give you another example, it is rare for a provider to achieve an overall score of 9 and higher. I have only 3, 2 in Montreal, and 1 in Vancouver. My provider at home in SF is close to a 9, is 26 years old, and provides a very good suite of services. The 2 in Montreal are both well under 30. The one in Vancouver is almost 50 years old. There are several in Toronto that are late thirties/early forties that are very close to 9’s. If that isn’t parity in a rating system, I don’t know what is..LOL..




    Originally posted by miss caroline

    On the other hand, thanks to this board, I've been able to become more selective about who I choose to accept dates with based on their posts that were written here. It's been very helpful actually so although this board was set up to be an escort review board, it has become, perhaps inadvertently, become a client review board as well.

    Go figure.

    Well, Miss Caroline, I would hope that neither clients nor escorts would be foolish enough to rely upon MERB board names or personalities to decide who is safe to see. There are many of us whose real identity is unknown. I do business under my own name and not some stupid Internet hotmail account. Anybody could hijack another’s board name. It has happened over on TERB. It has also happened that guys have gone to providers and threatened bad reviews on public forums if the girl did not perform certain services against their will. Again we just flushed one out over on TERB. If a client can’t come to you with a real name, tell you something about himself, and give contact information without referring to this board, he doesn’t sound very safe to me. I like to go to ladies who pride themselves in knowing who they’re meeting. It makes it safe for me too.

    And finally I want to make a comment about my personal feeling about doing reviews. When I first started this hobby in Canada in the early 90's, I was pretty gung ho. By the time the very first boards came online in Canda, I was one of the first to post reviews. I developed some very good associations with ladies in Montreal. One lady, with whom I am still friends with today, who wasn't used of near celebrity status, started getting visits from a bunch of guys who said they read my reviews. Well one of these guys, violated this lady's rules. When I found that out..I stopped..period. I also have a problem with personal privacy. Yes, high profile reviewers get stalked just like the subject of the their reviews. I had to stop doing that to ladies, simply because the client base is for lack of a better word, quite untrustworthy.

    EBS


    Last edited by E B Samaritano; 07-03-2003 at 03:03 PM.
    mi nombre en inglés es "Good Sam"

  15. #15
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    Luck the residue of design.

    Originally posted by Red Paul
    "good luck is the residue of design (as one baseball sage put it)"


    That's elegantly phrased. Who was the baseball sage?

    Red Paul: It was Branch Richey who said "Luck is the residue of design." For whatever reason, baseball seems to generate more quotes worth contemplating than any other sport.

    In trying to find the source of my original quote on the Web, I stumbled onto to this baseball quote: "You are only young once, but you can be immature forever."

    Touch

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