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Thread: A lady with a kid in a stroller asked me for a hand out...................What to do.

  1. #1

    A lady with a kid in a stroller asked me for a hand out...................What to do.

    I was eating my chicken dinner in my car from a grocery store take out food counter. A woman with a kid and a stroller comes up to my car, she asked me to help her out with a money hand out. I say no, She tells me that a man bought her 4 liters of milk and then she shows me the milk. I refuse her again. I am thinking that it is the beggining of the month. I think the welfare checks come out on the first week of the month. Is this a woman on welfare that is supplementing her BS with begging. Would you give.

  2. #2
    Nah, the kid in the stroller was actually Techman.

  3. #3
    I think you did the right thing. It may have been a scam, the situation seemed ''staged'', a kid in a stroller, trying to make you feel guilty with someone paying for milk,etc.
    Even if she was in need, I don't think it is right to use a child in these situations. Just to see her reaction, I would have offered to give her a lift or call on my cell phone either CLSC, police station, food banks,etc.
    IF she's in need to the point of begging for food money in a parking lot, she needs long term help, not a 10$ or a 20$.

  4. #4
    It's impossible to know if such a person is a scammer or legitimately in need. So I prefer to only give to recognized charities.

    Also, I find it profoundly unfair that someone would bring children into this world and expect others to pay for their welfare.

    I did not have the pleasure of making them, therefore I do not wish to help raise them.

  5. #5
    Scam or not, would it kill you to hand out $10.00 ??? Maybe its legit! It's the deed that counts!

  6. #6

    Perfect set up.

    She has set you up in the perfect situation for her to tug at your heart strings. You are at a large grocery store with a food take out counter. She knows there will be people at around noon picking up food and eating in the cars. She approaches your car while you are eating. ( You have food / she and her baby does not ) She ask for money but gets a rejection, she uses the 4 liter bag of milk to show you that there are people that are better than you. The other man bought some milk for her and her baby and you rejected her request. She makes the request again because she is shameless and is trying to shame you into relenting to her request for money. ( Of course not for her, for her baby. )

    Yes, welfare checks ( BS - benafit social or social assistance ) are sent so that they are delivered on the first day of the month. While it is not a huge sum of money, with the child supplement it is enough to have an appartment and food.

    I think that she probably does this day in and day out. Imagine bumming $10 six times an hour. It is easy to hand out $10, but it is just as easy for the beggar to go to a food bank and get a basket of food. I have even heard that they will call and pay for a taxi to take and recipients home if they are with a baby and stroller.
    Last edited by GTA refugee; 11-04-2009 at 05:21 PM.

  7. #7
    That's such a tough situation, since we all want to help and yet we don't want to feel scammed.

    I never give handouts to those who merely ask off the street. But, I make it a point of contributing to legitimate organizations that will help those individuals who are in need.

  8. #8
    I wonder what would have happened if you offered to go into the store and buy $10 of groceries?

    Near a grocery store I visit regularly, I am often approached by beggars. Instead of giving a looney or two, I say, "Would you like to do a little work and cash in these (few dollars) of empties?" I am sometimes refused.

  9. #9
    You did the right thing

    I wouldnt have given her $ either

  10. #10
    On London England radio the other day they were discussing a 36 year old woman on welfare, as is her husband, who has had 13 children and everyone has been taken by social services. She is pregnant again and says she's just going to keep having kids until she gets to keep one. She refuses help to change her ways so she can a mother who could keep her kids.

  11. #11
    Quote Originally Posted by Porter View Post
    Maybe its legit! It's the deed that counts!
    I'd be very surprised if it was legit in Canada (as opposed to countries without safety nets).

    Anyways, lots of ladies on this board have kids, and they are working their asses off to feed their families. Why should this woman get a free pass?

    And of course, these people will pay you $1600 tax free for 9 days of work.

  12. #12
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    I agree with people who think the kid was "bait". You did the right thing.

    There's too many clean, well dressed, cigarette smoking ($$$), "needy" people out there now. There have been numerous stories reported about bogus pan-handlers who make over 50 thousand a year in hand outs. 50k, no taxes, work when you want. And no flat backing strangers. Not a bad deal.

    Any feelings of guilt, if you have them, can easily be erased with a donation to a food bank. If she is that needy, she'll use one.
    Shorter of breath...One day closer to death. Pink Floyd

  13. #13
    scam ... ignore

    Consider intersection panhandlers.

    Light goes red every 2 minutes.

    If one motorist gives you $1 each time, that's $30/hr, tax-free.

    How much does McDonald's pay?
    Last edited by bond_james_bond; 11-05-2009 at 08:59 AM.

  14. #14
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    I often give money to people on the streets. I don't mind what it's for. If you're in a situation bad enough that you feel you need to beg, you deserve my compassion and a symbolic gesture to show you that I care.

    But in that particular case... I don't know. Something seems off. And the fact that she mentionned someone bought her those 4 liters of milk sounds like she was trying to put a guilt trip on you.

    I'm glad if I can be generous with someone in need but not if they are trying to bullsh*t me. To me, that shows a lack of respect. And why should I help someone who doesn't respect me?
    "We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are." - Ana´s Nin

  15. #15
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Generally I prefer to offer $ to squeegees than to panhandlers... at least they are offering me a service.

    I have been known to offer food: part of a lunch I had brought with me, a "doggie bag" I was originally bringing home for tomorrows lunch, or whatever. When I used to smoke (it has been about 2 months since I have quit ) I would sometimes give a couple of cigarettes.

    This said, the situation you just quoted doesn't sound right... especially when she tried to lay a guilt trip.

    I try not to question or judge... how different is this to when my purse got stolen and I had to panhandle for bus money to get home???? ...the people I approached certainly did not see any difference!

    They will forget what you said,
    they will forget what you did,
    but they will never forget the way you made them feel.

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