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A lady with a kid in a stroller asked me for a hand out...................What to do.

Henry Jones

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Sep 28, 2009
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I was eating my chicken dinner in my car from a grocery store take out food counter. A woman with a kid and a stroller comes up to my car, she asked me to help her out with a money hand out. I say no, She tells me that a man bought her 4 liters of milk and then she shows me the milk. I refuse her again. I am thinking that it is the beggining of the month. I think the welfare checks come out on the first week of the month. Is this a woman on welfare that is supplementing her BS with begging. Would you give.:confused:
 

pokerpro

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Jul 6, 2008
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I think you did the right thing. It may have been a scam, the situation seemed ''staged'', a kid in a stroller, trying to make you feel guilty with someone paying for milk,etc.
Even if she was in need, I don't think it is right to use a child in these situations. Just to see her reaction, I would have offered to give her a lift or call on my cell phone either CLSC, police station, food banks,etc.
IF she's in need to the point of begging for food money in a parking lot, she needs long term help, not a 10$ or a 20$.
 

Kepler

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May 17, 2006
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It's impossible to know if such a person is a scammer or legitimately in need. So I prefer to only give to recognized charities.

Also, I find it profoundly unfair that someone would bring children into this world and expect others to pay for their welfare.

I did not have the pleasure of making them, therefore I do not wish to help raise them.
 

Porter

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Mar 31, 2005
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Scam or not, would it kill you to hand out $10.00 ??? Maybe its legit! It's the deed that counts!
 

GTA refugee

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Feb 29, 2008
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Perfect set up.

She has set you up in the perfect situation for her to tug at your heart strings. You are at a large grocery store with a food take out counter. She knows there will be people at around noon picking up food and eating in the cars. She approaches your car while you are eating. ( You have food / she and her baby does not ) She ask for money but gets a rejection, she uses the 4 liter bag of milk to show you that there are people that are better than you. The other man bought some milk for her and her baby and you rejected her request. She makes the request again because she is shameless and is trying to shame you into relenting to her request for money. ( Of course not for her, for her baby. )

Yes, welfare checks ( BS - benafit social or social assistance ) are sent so that they are delivered on the first day of the month. While it is not a huge sum of money, with the child supplement it is enough to have an appartment and food.

I think that she probably does this day in and day out. Imagine bumming $10 six times an hour. It is easy to hand out $10, but it is just as easy for the beggar to go to a food bank and get a basket of food. I have even heard that they will call and pay for a taxi to take and recipients home if they are with a baby and stroller.
 
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Jack_Bauer

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Jul 10, 2003
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That's such a tough situation, since we all want to help and yet we don't want to feel scammed.

I never give handouts to those who merely ask off the street. But, I make it a point of contributing to legitimate organizations that will help those individuals who are in need.
 

anon_vlad

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Apr 29, 2004
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I wonder what would have happened if you offered to go into the store and buy $10 of groceries?

Near a grocery store I visit regularly, I am often approached by beggars. Instead of giving a looney or two, I say, "Would you like to do a little work and cash in these (few dollars) of empties?" I am sometimes refused.
 

master_bates

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May 23, 2005
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You did the right thing

I wouldnt have given her $ either
 

Dee

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On London England radio the other day they were discussing a 36 year old woman on welfare, as is her husband, who has had 13 children and everyone has been taken by social services. She is pregnant again and says she's just going to keep having kids until she gets to keep one. She refuses help to change her ways so she can a mother who could keep her kids.
 

Kepler

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May 17, 2006
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Maybe its legit! It's the deed that counts!

I'd be very surprised if it was legit in Canada (as opposed to countries without safety nets).

Anyways, lots of ladies on this board have kids, and they are working their asses off to feed their families. Why should this woman get a free pass?


And of course, these people will pay you $1600 tax free for 9 days of work.
 

mtwallet

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Jul 4, 2003
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I agree with people who think the kid was "bait". You did the right thing.

There's too many clean, well dressed, cigarette smoking ($$$), "needy" people out there now. There have been numerous stories reported about bogus pan-handlers who make over 50 thousand a year in hand outs. 50k, no taxes, work when you want. And no flat backing strangers. Not a bad deal.

Any feelings of guilt, if you have them, can easily be erased with a donation to a food bank. If she is that needy, she'll use one.
 

bond_james_bond

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Apr 24, 2005
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scam ... ignore

Consider intersection panhandlers.

Light goes red every 2 minutes.

If one motorist gives you $1 each time, that's $30/hr, tax-free.

How much does McDonald's pay?
 
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Ariane Valmont

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Mar 17, 2009
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I often give money to people on the streets. I don't mind what it's for. If you're in a situation bad enough that you feel you need to beg, you deserve my compassion and a symbolic gesture to show you that I care.

But in that particular case... I don't know. Something seems off. And the fact that she mentionned someone bought her those 4 liters of milk sounds like she was trying to put a guilt trip on you.

I'm glad if I can be generous with someone in need but not if they are trying to bullsh*t me. To me, that shows a lack of respect. And why should I help someone who doesn't respect me?
 

naughtylady

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Nov 9, 2003
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Generally I prefer to offer $ to squeegees than to panhandlers... at least they are offering me a service.

I have been known to offer food: part of a lunch I had brought with me, a "doggie bag" I was originally bringing home for tomorrows lunch, or whatever. When I used to smoke (it has been about 2 months since I have quit :D ) I would sometimes give a couple of cigarettes.

This said, the situation you just quoted doesn't sound right... especially when she tried to lay a guilt trip.

I try not to question or judge... how different is this to when my purse got stolen and I had to panhandle for bus money to get home???? ...the people I approached certainly did not see any difference!

Ronnie,
Naughtylady
 

JH Fan

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May 15, 2008
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What do you mean 'What to do ?'.

Here's a twist of what your thread might have been :

As I was sitting in my car... A woman came to me and ask me to help her with money... I offered her $20 and a mars bar and got a nice BJ on the backseat while I was eating my chicken :D
 

Mr. Spock

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Aug 3, 2009
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I offer them a job, I have never been taken up on the offer. They always want a few bucks, but not the job.
 

newman1

Member
Mar 26, 2007
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I would have gave her the benefit of the doubt and gave her some food.
She was asking for food not money ....I really don't understand why people think that they are beeing robbed.Maybe if she offfered a blow job, one will accept?

.....feeding human beeing is kindess act ....few buck will not kill us....
We give sometimes 20 $ tips..and it is okay with us....but feeding a person is questionable....and need investigation....
but I salute you opening this subject and remember Karma....what goes around, comes around and if you do nice things in life...life will pay you back....
Best regards
 

Dee

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Mar 26, 2004
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Here's one person's suggestion. I know one former member i would happily pay not to breed.



Pay problem parents not to breed - mayor

By staff writers and AAP
news.com.au
October 30, 2009 12:51pm


  • Pay problem parents not to breed, mayor says.
  • Some people just shouldn't have kids, he says
AN outspoken Kiwi politician has proposed a new solution to the country's child abuse problem - pay the "appalling underclass" not to breed.

Michael Laws - who stirred up controversy by calling the late Tongan King a "bloated brown slug'' - has again hit the headlines.

"That there is a group within our society who give their children no hope nor opportunity from the moment that they are born," the regional mayor wrote on the New Zealand radio website where he broadcasts as a talkback DJ.

"That these ‘parents’ are known to authorities ... and yet the authorities can only intervene after children have been harmed."

Mr Laws goes on to write: "it would be far better for this appalling underclass to be offered financial inducements not to have children, given the toxic environment that they would provide for any child in their care."

The mayor believes "the consequent financial and social savings to our community would be considerable.
"There are too many people who should not have children."

Mr Laws said a report in New Zealand's Dominion-Post newspaper yesterday had incorrectly attributed the view to him that all those who got welfare should be sterilised.
Mr Laws wrote on the website "that most welfare beneficiaries are good parents" but it was the problem ones who should be offered money not to breed.

Yesterday's Dominion-Post newspaper quotes him as saying: "If we gave $10,000 to certain people and said 'we'll voluntarily sterilise you' then all of society would be better off,'' he told the .

"There'd be less dead children and less social problems.''

He was commenting on the latest death of a toddler, two-year-old Karl Perigo-Check, who was the son of a convicted murderer and gang member.

New Zealand is placed third among OECD nations for child deaths due to maltreatment, four spots ahead of Australia, according to UNICEF.

It is ranked fifth for both child beatings and sexual abuse, again several places ahead of its antipodean neighbour.

Mr Laws argued that "liberal methods'' of beating the problem had failed.

But his "solution'' has been branded "draconian'' and "totalitarian'' by the country's child health advocates who are calling for him to stand down as a city mayor.

"I just find it such a disgraceful attitude,'' Child Poverty Action Group director Janfrie Wakim said.

"It's hard to comprehend that an intelligent man who's leading a city is making such reprehensible suggestions.''

This is just the latest controversy for Mr Laws, who last month hit headlines for bullying primary school children.

The indigenous children had written to the mayor to express annoyance that he refused to make a subtle spelling change to the name of the North Island town, Wanganui, to make it historically correct.

But Laws, a fierce critic of the name change, took exception to the letters, replying: "There are so many deficiencies of both fact and logic in your letters that I barely know where to start''.

He told them they should sack their teacher for suggesting they write to him.
 
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