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Thread: My participation on Merb...

  1. #1
    Adorable libertine
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    Lightbulb My participation on Merb...

    I could say that I am the most prolific female member writing on Merb for the last 2,5 years in the Lounge.

    I used to come and share my opinions on several subjects.

    My 2 majors goals to write here were to first, show that we could be an "Sp" and be intelligent, articulate, having serious main goal in life, and being able to live this particular activity without being traumatized as some few male members here are trying, ad nauseam, to demonstrate that any "Sp's" are in fact lyer, on drugs, thief, psychologically disturbed (did I forget something??? ...), finally, to continue to generate all the preconceived ideas the society have on "Sp's" in despite they are happily actively meeting those women at the moment they are into it....

    And my second goal, and most more important one, was to initiate in the mind of any woman who could read what I wrote that could be a good idea to have goals in life, and they are worth to be consider as a human, but to not forget that we are limited by the way people look at you. It was to give hope and a realistic view on the world around on "Sp's" ... If you want to live an "ordinary life" after you achieved your personnal goals who bring you to "Sping", just be discreet on your secret activities as everyone should suppose to keep as a "jardin secret" all past activities who is not anymore related to your present and your future. That's a right and this is definitively not a cheat to want to be able to have a more "standard life" after you stop, because that's probably the main raison why you are doing it: to have, today or a day, a best quality life. To be tagged as a former "Sp" is not part of a quality life, I sincerely think. The nearest person I had heard to be publically recognized as well, commit suicide. She was living "sping" negatively, and the fact that she, after, be recognized as a former "Sp" just continue to perpetue her negative experience. I'm living myself my secret activity much more positively, and I will not make a coming out in my future about it, to keep it positive. So, discretion for me is really paramount.

    Few months ago, I decided to manage differently my own courtisan experience. I recognize that I thought and put to much energy for others on Merb. I recently had taken few hours to erase some of my old and recent participations (and I did not finished to erase all in despite of 5 hours of active erasing...), particularly some related to politics and others revealing too much some personnal things, and important, some others posts who could stop the emancipation that some are wanting to do (I'm talking exactly of my point of view against the legalisation of p ). I decided to put my priorities on myself, on what it is counting the most for myself in my life: my family, my studies and future occupation, and my friends (including my secret particular friends.......)

    I apologize to everyone who could feel bad about what next I am adding: I erased all the threads I started and a lot of my partipations and exchanges implicating you. Please, don't take it personnally, that's just the logical consequence of my decision. I'm taking the time this morning to explain it, and I wanted to let available a message about that, because when some gentlemen will do some research on myself, will exist some traces of what I wrote and that could look strange to have just a litle part of some discussions.

    I am a woman of thoughts, I am a woman of heart. I had the chance to exchange with some fantastic people over here... and I met few ones lately at the discreet dinner and at the GT I finally last minute decided to attend. That was a real joy to meet in person some people known via boards....

    Thank you very much all of you for your love and comprehension... I won't stay really far...

    With all my respect, sincerely yours....

    Maria Divina xx xx xx
    Last edited by Maria Divina; 12-19-2009 at 09:09 PM. Reason: change little things....

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maria Divina View Post

    I apologize to everyone who could feel bad about what next I am adding: I erased all the threads I started and a lot of my partipations and exchanges implicating you. Please, don't take it personnally, that's just the logical consequence of my decision. I... I won't stay really far...
    Maria Divina xx xx xx
    That's a privilege of gods (and of a goddess like you) to have complete control over his/hers) creations.

    We all do this in our career of merbites: erases old posts that doesn't means anything now. Sex, like life, is a transient thing.....
    ἄνθρωπος μέτρον
    Man is the measure of all things

    Sexo sin pecado es como huevo sin sal (Le sexe sans péché est comme un œuf sans sel/Sex without sin is like an egg without salt) [Carlos Fuentes]

  3. #3
    Adorable libertine
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    I am not retired....

    Just want to mention something really important, I repeat: I am not retired....and I will continue to be a supporting member as long as I will be active.

    I am still wanting to charm and seduce and be charmed and seduced thru some secret meetings.... It is just something important I want to focus on I will give my attention for those who are counting the most for me, me included.

    I really like to exchange ideas, but I have a life to work on too either.... .....

    That was true, we had some nice exchanges, thank you to you... xxx

  4. #4
    Adorable libertine
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    Quote Originally Posted by thebitchelor View Post
    i didnt say you were retired...the thing i say that we are the same is about our MERB activitynot our professionnal life
    I know you didn't, but I just want to prevent some confusion...

    xxx

  5. #5
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    Of the deleted threads, the only thread that I am aware contained semi-useful information was the 1st thread on the dinner which, I believed, contained important posts concerning discretion and fears from the client perspective rather than the SP perspective. You deleted it, as I recall, because it created "overexposure". It is your prerogative to delete your own thread if you wish but I did not understand the reason for the deletion of that particular thread because what was mentioned were specific locations of past dinner parties and what happened with those parties and how people felt about them. Nobody mentioned the location of your dinner party (unless it was in the same location as one of the past parties, which I don't know since I did not attend).

    In my view the deletion of that thread was not really a big deal, but some useful posts were lost. It's not like we can't start another thread on those same issues. Anyone could start a thread on the same issue, of GT/dinner party discretion and related concerns. My only issue would be that to some extent some info was lost and those people would need to re-post in the new thread. I have gotten flack for deleting threads in the past, for this exact reason, but where the thread was deleted because of personal security/privacy issues we can't really have a problem with that.
    Last edited by EagerBeaver; 12-09-2009 at 01:52 PM.

  6. #6
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    Your participation on the board & insights into your experiences is always appreciated, Maria. Don't let a few bad apples with an agenda make you change your mind about interacting with other members & being an active participant on the board.

    I've learned over time that you have to put yourself first & not let others dictate what you can & cannot write. If something might be too taboo & you feel like posting about it, go ahead & let the moderators do their job if they warrant it's innappropriate. I've learned over the years to put myself first & if people are not happy with what i post, they can either not read what i've written or simply shove-it-up their negative behinds.

    Having met you recently in a social setting, i've realized that like on the boards, you're very similar in person.....A REAL PERSON. You're not someone who's personality & demeanor changes everytime they're in front of a computer monitor. Bravo!

  7. #7
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    Hello Maria,

    I find this deletion of your posts as shocking and as disturbing as anything I have ever read on any board. I know the way you personalize your feelings on this board probably takes a great deal out of you, exposing your inner most thoughts, and taking the risks that some will respond negatively or hurtfully. I have always thought you showed more courage than anyone I ever read to post in this way. I can never do the same. I cannot share the way you do with strangers, and I would not never take the risks. So I understand why you are doing this, but it is tragic for the rest of the SPs and all of us who find all of your efforts very touching and inspiring to read this thread.

    Having met you I know you are just one of the most genuine people one could ever meet, and having read all of your posts I know they all came out of heart felt deep sincerity. I know some were cruel to you. While there was never anything wrong with fair criticism of your thoughts by those who disagreed with your views, there was never any excuse for the chauvinists, misogynists, and neanderthals who questioned the right of any lady to post on this board. They are simply despicable and not worth the keys to respond to them. So, if this is about your emotional comfort I can accept it in the end. But this is a tragic loss and Fred and the mods should make a special note here to see that on Merb's part the archaic jerks who can't stand to accept an equal female presence on this board are not allowed to cause the loss of female members. Maybe the deletion of your posts has nothing at all to do with them. But I can help but think about how many female members have been treated so badly by sexist morons in the past when I read this thread.

    I know you feel you are doing what's best for you, but I am saddened and I will gravely miss your participation.

    ALL THE BEST,

    Merlot

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Doc Holliday View Post
    Your participation on the board & insights into your experiences is always appreciated, Maria. Don't let a few bad apples with an agenda make you change your mind about interacting with other members & being an active participant on the board.

    I've learned over time that you have to put yourself first & not let others dictate what you can & cannot write. If something might be too taboo & you feel like posting about it, go ahead & let the moderators do their job if they warrant it's innappropriate. I've learned over the years to put myself first & if people are not happy with what i post, they can either not read what i've written or simply shove-it-up their negative behinds.

    Having met you recently in a social setting, i've realized that like on the boards, you're very similar in person.....A REAL PERSON. You're not someone who's personality & demeanor changes everytime they're in front of a computer monitor. Bravo!
    I couldn't have said it better myself. I echo every word the good Doc says.
    The mounties always get their man.

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