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Keeping the Wife from Finding Out!

Erosthesenses

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May 26, 2009
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I am looking for some guidance, advice and experiences from other hobbiest with a wife or 'significant other.'

I am married and have been visiting young ladies without getting found out by my wife for about a year. I'd like to keep it that way, but doing that is a constant concern.

I'd be interested in hearing how long people have gone without getting found out. If you were found out what was the give away. I'd be most interested in personal experiences.

I'm hoping some of you have been doing this for many years without getting caught. I want to follow in your footsteps.

Erosthesenses
 

sinbad

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Dec 11, 2004
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Imagine you are committing a crime (not far from the truth, eh?)

Plan ahead.....
Have an alibi for the time spent being wicked.
Ideally you should get home when no one is there so you can change clothes and shower. If not, be very careful about scents, oils, cigarette smoke etc..
If you're caught in foreign territory (e.g. car accident) - have a reason for being there.
If you bump into a friend in foreign territory - have a reason for being there.
Leave no trace.............
Never (got that, NEVER) reveal your real name.
Be discreet about revealing personal details of your circumstances or family. (even under cover of a fake name)
Don't take your wallet with personal ID to the encounter.
And, oh yes.................pay cash

sinbad
 

Jman47

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Jan 28, 2009
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Two small tidbits in addition to sinbad's comments:

The computer...be careful about the computer. Electronic trails are everywhere.

And as Tiger found out...guard your cell phone with you life...or at least be sure you scrub it of all call logs and texts.
 

prophetofdoom

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Nov 19, 2006
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Imagine you are committing a crime (not far from the truth, eh?)
Never (got that, NEVER) reveal your real name.
sinbad

That can cut both ways - imagine being with your significant other within ear shot but standing a little away and this pretty young thing spots you and says "Hi Peter" whereas in reality you are "Paul" !
 

sinbad

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Dec 11, 2004
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That can cut both ways - imagine being with your significant other within ear shot but standing a little away and this pretty young thing spots you and says "Hi Peter" whereas in reality you are "Paul" !

O.K. not a happy moment (and would even an airhead pretty young SP be that stupid!), but "I think you must be mistaken, my name's not Peter, and I don't think we've ever met", would easier to deal with than, "how come that woman knows your name, honey?"
 

Max69

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Jan 29, 2010
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I am looking for some guidance, advice and experiences from other hobbiest with a wife or 'significant other.'

I am married and have been visiting young ladies without getting found out by my wife for about a year. I'd like to keep it that way, but doing that is a constant concern.

I'd be interested in hearing how long people have gone without getting found out. If you were found out what was the give away. I'd be most interested in personal experiences.

I'm hoping some of you have been doing this for many years without getting caught. I want to follow in your footsteps.

Erosthesenses

Best way is to STOP hobbying after marriage! - LOL
 

Merlot

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Nov 13, 2008
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Keeping It Straight.

I am married and have been visiting young ladies without getting found out by my wife for about a year. I'd like to keep it that way, but doing that is a constant concern.

Erosthesenses

Hello Erosthesenses,

When planning intimate time with the wife...if you still do that:

1. Don't call her under an assumed name from a hotel.

2. She has no rate by the hour...per se.

3. Remember her name is not Destiny, Cherish, or Tamiqua.

4. Don't have pricey bottles of wine. Stick to cheap gin, vodka, or just beer.

5. No lingerie gifts under size 16.

6. Don't get too excited about the sex like you are cheating on your wife.

7. Don't negotiate for extras.

8. Avoid giving her an orgasm at all costs...and avoid having one.

9. No hair pulling, spanking, dirty talk, or passionate kissing.

10. Bosco goes in milk, not on her.

11. One position on the bed only; no couches, counter or stove tops, patios, diving board, back seats or beaches.

12. On pay day just keep handing over the checks, don't leave cash in an envelope.

13. Remember she stays the night....unfortunately.

*This has been brought to you by...TMWP (Take my wife...PLEASE!!!)

Happy conjugals,

Merlot ;)
 
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Jman47

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Jan 28, 2009
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Nice M...that's hilarious!!!

But, I have to give up the Bosco...really...dammit, not the Bosco...<insert real rolleyes smiley here> or this unreasonable, shitty wanna be smiley...:rolleyes:

Have fun.
J
 

daydreamer41

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Wait for Tiger Woods' Autobiography, read it, make notes and don't do anything he did and you may not get caught.

Also, throw out all sports equipment like golf clubs, baseball bats, hockey sticks, get rid of sharp objects, just in case you do get caught.

In other words, cover all possibilities.
 

EagerBeaver

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A few years ago there was a hobbyist I used to chat with somewhat regularly who suddenly disappeared from the boards/chat rooms. About 2 months after the disappearance he sent me an email, telling me that his wife had gotten on to his computer and somehow got into his hobbyist email account and read some of his emails booking ladies. He had been using an HDH agency at the time which did advance bookings by email. Anyway he told me he was going to have to lay low "for about a year" in order to try and save his marriage, a la Tiger Woods. I have not heard from him since, and I don't think anyone else has either. He used to post on MERB many years ago, but only very occasionally.

More recently, an exclusive New York City HDH massage parlor with extras, of which I am a semi-regular client and also a member of their passworded private website, had a problem when the wife of one of the other members discovered his extramarital activities at said massage parlor. The wife, with vengeance in her heart (hell hath no fury like a woman scorned) somehow managed to hack into the passworded private website, and started posting there basically accusing the MP of being homewreckers. From what the operator told me, she also began calling the massage parlor 24/7, and was constantly harassing the phone girls, telling them they were homewreckers, sluts and bitches, yadayadyada. Finally the operator did the smart thing which was to put up a post which basically said, "hey sugar, he has been cheating on you with us for a long time and chances are he is seeing other ladies at other establishments so it is totally illogical for you to single out our business for harassment. The problem is not with us, the problem is with your marriage. That is something you need to work out with him, or not. Leave us out of it." I believe that the client eventually lost his privileges though, due to the fact that they did not want to deal with all the fucking bullshit and the hassle from the jilted wife. The way this place works you need to give them a password when you call (your name and a code) and that gets you into the secure building where they operate.

I personally believe that a lot of married guys who hobby enjoy the thrill and danger of doing something secret behind the wife's back. They are obviously not getting the satisfaction they need from the wife, and I think getting the satisfaction elsewhere, and secretly doing so without the wife's knowledge, presents a challenge and a thrill, perhaps as much of a thrill as the actual act itself.
 
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lgna69xxx

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Oct 3, 2008
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Hmmmmm, well......just imagine how your wife would cheat on you and follow her lead, womem are smarter at this


I am looking for some guidance, advice and experiences

I am married and have been visiting young ladies without getting found out by my wife for about a year. I'd like to keep it that way, but doing that is a constant concern.
 

EagerBeaver

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Let me add one other thing to think about. In my business I occasionally deal with private investigators and one of the investigators I use, who is a also a friend of mine, told me that about 80% of his business is surveillance on spouses suspected of cheating on their significant other. He has state of the art video equipment and does all his surveillance within the letter of the law. All I can say is if your wife has suspicions and she has the money (I think it is about $75/hour to get these guys engaged on a surveillance), she can put a tail on your ass. And it is really easy to get that shit on video and have it used in a subsequent civil case. He's taped people in cars in public parking lots, many times. So be real discreet.
 
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Erosthesenses

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May 26, 2009
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You remind me of the time before I was hobbying when I was donating blood. One of the questions they asked me was if I had every paid money for sex. I wanted to ask them if that included my wife. Sex with the wife is some of the most expensive you can buy.

I've been avoiding getting a hobbying phone. The idea is that if my wife ever found it would be over. I am completely careful about deleting numbers from my regular phone. In addition, I have never seen her looking through my phone. I think the risk of using my regular phone is greater than having an additional phone found and all my excuses or explainations being pretty lame. One risk though is that SP's now know my cell phone number she could get into my private life.

Another concern is having SP's know too much of your personal information. I visit exclusively with widely and well reviewed independents. The usual suspects that are the best reviewed on this board. I didn't think the risk of them knowing my first name, cell phone number and profession was too much of a risk. I know there are problems with too much personal information, but I was hoping going to a independent with a reputation was some level of protection.

I don't know how much the risk is part of the thrill of the experience. I like to think it is all about the girl and the time together. But in any case I'd like to keep my life from blowing up.

Eros
 

YouVantOption

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Two small tidbits in addition to sinbad's comments:

The computer...be careful about the computer. Electronic trails are everywhere.

And as Tiger found out...guard your cell phone with you life...or at least be sure you scrub it of all call logs and texts.

yeah good luck doing that will the itemized bill delivered each month. Best to get a dedicated throw-away phone and HIDE it. if it is found, deny its yours.
 

daydreamer41

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Some phone companies provide an online log of all of the phone calls and numbers that you make to show the minutes that you have accumulated. Your wife could look at your account online and see the numbers that you dial. You have to ask yourself is your wife that computer savy to do such a thing?

Overall, I would think that affairs are much riskier than hobbying. With affairs, you have a woman who is emotionally involved with you. She may try to call your home. With hobbying, it lasts an hour at a time. Once the paid time is over, the girl can care less where you go, what you do, and if you are married or not. She will not contact you unless you contact her.

So unless you happen to be walking out of a hotel or motel room and a friend of hers sees you; you have a very suspicious wife to begin with and she does look at your phone records, she probably will not catch you.
 

hungry101

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Oct 29, 2007
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So unless you happen to be walking out of a hotel or motel room and a friend of hers sees you; you have a very suspicious wife to begin with and she does look at your phone records, she probably will not catch you.

Yes Hobbying is much safer...learned this the hard way. I could go on and on about this.

The great thing about Montreal Hotels I noticed is that all the one I have stayed in have decent bars and restaurants. If you are busted walking out of one you say the following: I met a client for lunch or dinner or breakfast or a drink etc. Is all you have to say. The client flew in from [inset lie here] and we had a [chose one of the following - A. breakfast, B. Lunch, C. Dinner, D. cocktails] meeting. the purpose of the meeting was [choose one of the following A. your interview, B. their interview, C. supplier meeting, D. price negotiation E. contract negotiation] etc.

Be ready
 

EagerBeaver

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hungry101,

Those excuses are easily refuted by good surveillance, and my PI tailing someone in the Hyatt's lounge can easily produce video exposing those stories as bullshit. And usually, that is exactly what the client is paying for, video that will expose a story as bullshit.

I recall meeting a younger SP for a dinner date once, and she was a college student who had grave concerns about being recognized in public with me, a much older man. Specifically, she thought one of her professors or fellow students might see her with me and suspect her of working as an SP. We worked out an arrangement where we met at a restaurant and went separately. The restaurant was close to the hotel. She went down 5 minutes before I did and got a table. That way we were not seen entering together. We then had dinner, which could have been explained by her and/or me as a job interview. After dinner, I went back to the hotel and instructed her to come up to my room 5 minutes later, so she would not be seen walking around with me. She seemed comfortable with the arrangement.
 
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hungry101

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Oct 29, 2007
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hungry101,

Those excuses are easily refuted by good surveillance, and my PI tailing someone in the Hyatt's lounge can easily produce video exposing those stories as bullshit. And usually, that is exactly what the client is paying for, video that will expose a story as bullshit.

After dinner, I went back to the hotel and instructed her to come up to my room 5 minutes later, so she would not be seen walking around with me. She seemed comfortable with the arrangement.

If you are being surveilled by a professional I'm not sure this would work. But if someone spots you on the street and tells your Sig other and you are confronted later, you should be ready with such an excuse. This is how I have met clients so this is plausible for me.

And of course you would not arrive and depart together.
 

Conan

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May 23, 2007
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I don't know how much the risk is part of the thrill of the experience. I like to think it is all about the girl and the time together. But in any case I'd like to keep my life from blowing up.
Eros

Just curious - if your marriage is so important to you, why are you hobbying?
 
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