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Thread: Golden Rules for Hobbying

  1. #1
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    Exclamation Golden Rules for Hobbying

    Call it a grassroots Merbite Hobbying Golden Rules list! By Merbites, for ALL!

    These are the rules the Merbite brotherhood want all newbies to live by because this isn`t the dark ages and no one needs to spend on a session with Bait&Switch lady, Ultra High Maintenance Hottie, or something that crawled out of a gutter.

    I can try to update this amalgamated list so it remains comprehensive. Perhaps it becomes a sticky once we get traction + relevant Rules.


    1) RESEARCH the Lady + Agency BEFORE BOOKING

    2) Make a TO-DO-LIST (TDL)
    • save your research
    • prioritize + organize future SP sessions
    • keeps you focused when plans go off course (see "NEVER RUSH into Booking a Back-up Lady" below)
    • the only way a guy can juggle so much info in their head


    3) Get STI TESTING REGULARLY
    • depending on frequency of hobbying, you want to get tested regularly to avoid surprises
    • avoid a prolonged stay on the Disabled List
    • heresay: some health professionals recommend x1-x2 monthly if active
    • link to Merb Health resource threads


    4) Know your ETIQUETTE FOR HOBBYISTS
    • shower before your session... 30mins prior is a good rule of thumb
    • dress up like you`re going on a date, don`t look like a slob
    • place the gift in a visible spot so there`s no question you`re good for it
    • ... many more, read the Sticky


    5) ASK about a LADY`S RESTRICTIONS/RULES
    • YMMV is always in play so get the rules/restrictions out of the way before starting
    • whether her restrictions/activities are posted or not, never hurts to clarify
    • helps avoid abrupt stops, prevent negative momentum + mood changes during the session


    6) Your Mileage May Vary (YMMV) NEVER FORGET Ricky bonds
    • what happens in my bed, wont necessarily happen in yours
    • we all come from different walks of life, are different ages, different cultures,colours,and creeds.....
    • when you read a review, please understand that the services mentioned...along with the level of passion they are executed with is always going to fall on a client by client basis.
    • if you have a bad experience, before jumping the gun and accusing the lady and previous reviewers of bullshitting, how about taking a long deep breath and look at yourself in the mirror...

    7) NEVER RUSH into Booking a Back-up Lady
    • ...especially if the back-up lady isn`t on your TDL!
    • Reasons your 1st choice suddenly isn`t available: she got her period, drug frenzy, running way late, ended her night early, you`re not her type and she walks out, an agency regular decided to keep her an extended hour, she was never actually scheduled to work that night, etc.
    • Nothing worse than letting your little head do the thinking, forcing you to spend on a lady you had not planned to see, ever!

    8) It`s OK to DECLINE A LADY
    • Stick to your guns, this is not the time to be "nice"... it`s a business transaction so if you didn`t get what you wanted/expected, send her back
    • face didn`t match the body
    • she suddenly presents with a long restrictions list even though she`s listed as girlfriend experience (GFE)
    • her attitude sucks
    • don`t wait for 10mins to elapse before declining... the sooner the better!

    9) Hell Breaks Loose, STAY COOL
    • read some of the bad sessions some members have had, the lesson learned: be cool, end the session before it gets ugly, call the agency and discuss... potentially negotiate compensation (present/future discount, replacement, etc.)
    • don`t air dirt publicly before reflecting and trying to mediate with agency
    • if you are about to point fingers publicly, consult a Merb MOD and get advice to avoid doing something you`ll regret down the road

    10) TIPPING... or not?

    11) SUPPLIES
    • Never hurts to have supplies on hand just in case the lady is running low or just ran out.
    • Perhaps you have a preference for a particular brand of condoms, lube, oils, etc.
    • Lingerie - you can always supply these items to a lady if you didn`t ask her to bring them in advance.

    12) PAY IT FORWARD... Post a Review
    • If Merbites have ever helped you avoid a costly lesson, consider paying it forward by registering and posting a review
    • ideally your 1st post isn`t a question

    13) Guide to MAKING AMATEUR PORN... Ricky bonds
    • tips from someone who has gone through the learning curve for us
    • links to a growing list of video sessions

    14) FOR IN-CALLS: Be on Time: Our Affair
    • Not too early (a lady needs time to prepare for her man`s arrival... we don`t like to be rushed!)
    • Not too late (a lady gets pissed off when her man is late!... and usually he just gets a shorter session)

    15) PRE-BOOKING: Roll of the Dice
    • Unless the agency or lady has a consistent track-record for Pre-booking, expect the unexpected: cancellations due to weather, mood, crimson tide, a more loyal client extending multi-hr thru your timeslot, agency mix-up + forgot, SP had emergency or something personal to attend to last minute, etc.
    • You are likely better off booking early on the day of (approx. 10AM when the first schedules are posted on https://merb.cc)
    • Some clients will book a Plan B lady whenever they Pre-book a Plan A SP - Why? Because is Plan A cancels at 19h you won`t be left with many ladies/options for your evening.

    16) PAYING BEFORE PLAYING - ALWAYS A BAD SIGN
    • most veteran members will tell you if you an escort asks for payment up front, chances are the session will not go well because
      - once you`ve paid, how will you get you cash back if she turns around and leaves,
      delivers 15mins on a 60min call,
      talks to you 40mins for a 50mins service + 10mins shower session
      after kissing, asks for more cash to continue...
    • just like contractors/building industry, you never pay in full up front or you`re screwed!
    • mind you if you look like a creep, calling at 5AM, smell of booze and look stoned, I can`t blame the agency for wanting to collect up front

    17) ... add a rule - SAVE A ROOKIE ...

    ADVICE FROM VETERAN MERBITES


    VETERAN MERBITES I FOLLOW(ED) FOR OUTCALL + HOBBYING INFO
    • General Gonad
    • banger
    • Lion Heart
    • daydreamer41
    • nylonlover
    • MarathonMan
    • Eager Beaver
    • thegreatwalooo
    • Doc Holliday
    • johnmbot
    • Ricky bonds
    • Delta123
    • ManApart

    there are others... this is an evolving list!

    LEGITIMATE AGENCIES WITH MULTIPLE AGENCIES (updated Oct 19, 2012)
    • Montreal XXXtase also operates Delight Escorts (mainly different line-ups)
    • Devilish operates Montreal Girls on Fire (different line-ups)
    • MTLGFE formerly Chloe`s Playground also went by the name Candyshop Escorts (identical line-up)
    • Queen of Spades once operated Satanic Escorts (parted way late Summer 2012)


    ABOUT MY VALLEY-SCALE FOR FACE
    10 >> She was a one in a million.
    9 >> She was model material.
    8 >> She was really hot.
    7 >> She was attractive.
    6 >> She was nice looking.
    5 >> She was plain looking.
    4 >> OK, If you are drunk.
    3 >> She was fairly homely.
    2 >> She was simply ugly.
    1 >> I was really scared.

    SOMEBODY MADE A GOOD "BODY TYPES" CHART
    Click here...
    Last edited by evillethings; 03-13-2011 at 08:57 PM. Reason: Periodic update/addition to rules.

  2. #2
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    Will try to update x1 wkly... I said try.

  3. #3
    the last of the mohicans
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    great rules.... they make hobbying a lot more fulfilling and worthwhile...depending on your reasons.
    i would like to add something......

    ricky bonds first rule for guys that see a girl based on a review....

    what happens in my bed..wont necessarily happen in yours. the infamous ymmv, that needs to be understood.
    we all come from different walks of life, are different ages, different cultures,colours,and creeds.....
    when you read a review, please understand that the services mentioned...along with the level of passion they are executed with is always going to fall on a client by client basis.
    of course if you follow the basic guidlines already presented on merb (and that should be blatantly obvious)... things like hygiene,being a respectful gentleman in the presence of a companion, smelling good, looking your best etc.....these will all raise your chances of having a memorable moment..
    that being said, once again..what happens in my bed, wont necessarily happen in yours.......
    if you have a less than favourable experience...before jumping the gun, and accusing the lady of malpractice....and the previous reviewer of bullshitting......
    how about taking a long deep breath, and looking at yourself in the mirror.
    if this has happened to you often, well i think its safe to say that the problem might lie somewhere within yourself.
    regardless of the above comment....
    what happens in my bed, might not necessarily happen in yours.....
    the debate is as old as the boards...and as old as the hobby itself.
    chemistry can often, but not always be faked...sometimes its genuine...and sometimes chemistry is simply not going to develop in the limited time you have with a companion.
    Last edited by Ricky bonds; 01-30-2011 at 04:44 PM.
    "Scars remind us where we've been. They don't have to dictate where we're going"

  4. #4
    Good posts. There is only one time that I should have refused an escort (no one active...from a long-ago, long-gone agency) and I didn`t, and I regretted it, especially since it was a duo and I wanted no part of her and could have had the other girl for half the price I paid.

    I have never refused a girl, but I have been damned lucky. On my last trip I was prepared tor refuse one after remembering that i didn`t like her photos, but my jaw hit the floor when I saw her and that was the end of that.

    It seems like most of the rules are common sense. SPs have told me about going to hotel rooms and the guys in them smelling like they haven`t had a body slide from a bar of soap in a month. Come on...there`s a shower and towels right there....how can someone not take a shower right before the lady gets there? I know it`s not a real-life date, but I have no doubt that guys who don`t bother showering or brushing their teeth are getting their YMMV meters dialed way down. I just don`t get it. I know it`s a business transaction, but would you not take a shower before interviewing someone at work? You probably would, and you`re not even expecting a and DFK from them.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ricky bonds View Post
    ricky bonds first rule for guys that see a girl based on a review ... what happens in my bed..wont necessarily happen in yours. the infamous ymmv, that needs to be understood.
    Ricky bonds, you are Top5! That`s a big one!

    Lots of guys forget they have to play a part on the whole experience too. Being in a High-end Hotel but smelling like you`ve been out drinking all night might not get you the best session with any SP.

    5) Your Mileage May Vary (YMMV) Never Forget Ricky bonds

    * what happens in my bed, wont necessarily happen in yours
    * we all come from different walks of life, are different ages, different cultures,colours,and creeds.....
    * when you read a review, please understand that the services mentioned...along with the level of passion they are executed with is always going to fall on a client by client basis.
    * if you have a bad experience, before jumping the gun and accusing the lady and previous reviewers of bullshitting, how about taking a long deep breath and look at yourself in the mirror...
    Let me know if I should edit your Rule in anyway.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by bumfie View Post
    There is only one time that I should have refused an escort (no one active...from a long-ago, long-gone agency) and I didn`t, and I regretted it...
    Happened to me x2 in the past 3mths. The worst part is the regret for the time wasted, the coin that couldve been better spent on someone/thing else, and that nasty residual feeling... that`s when I need to re-calibrate and book a sure thing!

    I have never refused a girl ... my last trip I was prepared tor refuse one after remembering that i didn`t like her photos, but my jaw hit the floor when I saw her and that was the end of that.
    In the past few wks, 50% of the time I open the door, I`ve got my eyes closed and head down... to lower expectations I supposed, a rookie move but after those 2 bad sessions anyone would too. Love when you crack the door open and it feels like Christmas morning!

    I just don`t get it. I know it`s a business transaction, but would you not take a shower before interviewing someone at work? You probably would, and you`re not even expecting a and DFK from them.
    Agreed, however I`m thinking part-timers and ppl who book an SP x1-x3 annually aren`t gonna remember basic client etiquette or even know about them.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by evillethings View Post
    Agreed, however I'm thinking part-timers and ppl who book an SP x1-x3 annually aren't gonna remember basic client etiquette or even know about them.
    Or even give a shit about etiquette, themselves, or the lady coming to see them.

    Good list and good idea, evil. Hopefully it will help the newbies and everyone, if they consider themselves included. Way too many times, people think the rules and suggestions are for everyone else except themselves.
    As I've said in many replies to new members, we each started with a first post. Patience and courtesy can only go so far, and I find myself getting getting sarcastic and impatient with them sometimes, but try to put myself in check.
    A lot of this is common sense, and treating others the same as you expect to be treated.
    Sweetwater
    "I have the right to remain silent, but I don't have the ability": Ron White
    "Oh, it's all right. I'm sure that we can handle this situation maturely, just like the responsible adults that we are. Isn't that right, Mr... Poopy Pants?": Leslie Nielsen as Lt. Frank Drebin in "The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear" (1991)
    Pussycat Song- The Asylum Street Spankers
    Scrotum Song- The Asylum Street Spankers

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by sweetwater View Post
    Or even give a shit about etiquette, themselves, or the lady coming to see them ... A lot of this is common sense, and treating others the same as you expect to be treated.
    sweetwater, so true - a lot is common sense but only if you think of it as a traditional "date"... unfortunately I think lots of guys have the idea that if they're paying, donating, droppin coin, that they don't have to put in the effort.

    Vice versa, I've seen a number of SPs who think because it's a business transaction and not a romantic encounter that they just have to show up with the parts and perform the acts, fuck the scenary, costumes, make-up and rehersal!

    BTW Thanks! Let's hope some good use comes from this Checklist of sorts and if nothing else, it'll help me remember the rules I should stick to when hobbying.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Our Affair View Post
    It happens way too often.
    How do SP's handle that? Send the guy to the shower? Deliver a standoffish performance? Just avoid certain activities?

    I know the next lady who shows up smelling like she passed a babywipe near her V and didn't bother to shower is getting sent to the shower or back to lobby.

  10. #10
    2) Make a TO-DO-LIST (TDL)
    I gave-up on TDLs. If you live in town and hobby frequently, they might be of use, but if you're like me and only make it to town no more than once a month, you'll likely find that your list is dated upon your return. Turn-over is heavy and many girls don't work a predictable schedule.

    dress up like you're going on a date, don't look like a slob
    I'm guilty of this. I feel that I pay them to accept me for who I really am. I'll answer the door in my socks wearing a t-shirt and a day's worth of beard stubble (my anti-kissing deterrant). I do shave the parts of me that I want them to touch with their mouths, though. Despite being a bit lax on my presentation, I am always clean. The last SP I saw actually asked me whether I had showered upon seeing my beard stubble (that was a first). Geesh, lady, just because I don't like to shave on my days off does not mean that I don't like to bathe; I'm a two-shower a day kind of guy (three showers if I'm seeing two SPs in a night)! When SPs start showing-up attired in stockings like they are in their glam shots or start giving discounts for being the client of the year, I might consider looking a bit more GQ.

    You can mention a bad review (and a call to the agency if any) if you think she's not playing fair, but seems to be a nice girl and just need to get her act together.
    How about introducing yourself at the outset as a MERB reviewer? Do you think this might get a client better service? After all, only a small fraction of a girl's customers will ever post a review.
    Last edited by Aeolus; 02-02-2011 at 12:27 AM.

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by 10-4Roger View Post
    If you see this sign at the entrance : PLEASE REMOVE YOUR RUBBER Don't follow it !
    That should depend on which apendage the rubber is on, and if you are finished or not.
    Sweetwater
    "I have the right to remain silent, but I don't have the ability": Ron White
    "Oh, it's all right. I'm sure that we can handle this situation maturely, just like the responsible adults that we are. Isn't that right, Mr... Poopy Pants?": Leslie Nielsen as Lt. Frank Drebin in "The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear" (1991)
    Pussycat Song- The Asylum Street Spankers
    Scrotum Song- The Asylum Street Spankers

  12. #12
    Quote Originally Posted by Aeolus View Post
    How about introducing yourself at the outset as a MERB reviewer? Do you think this might get a client better service? After all, only a small fraction of a girl's customers will ever post a review.
    I have no problem with this. If you warn her at the inception of the date this is fair. After all, this is about having a good time. If she gives you a good time you post a truthful positive review. If she does a lousy job, you post a truthful, unexaggerated lousy review.

    I remember reading some negative/luke warm reivews after calling the agency (I did this in the wrong order...I know). I called the agency and I said I changed my mind due to the negative reviews. I said I better be able to DFK and DATY or I will send her right back. The agency said don't worry. In walks the girl 1/2 hour later and she say's "I hear you want to eat my pussy ah?" I ended up tipping her writing a good review and then repeating next visit!

  13. #13
    Quote Originally Posted by Our Affair View Post
    Good for you! We love happy endings!
    Yes she explained between our first and 2nd SOG that the bad reviews were from men that jumped her as she entered the door and would just reach out and grab her her breasts before she could sit down. They felt entitled to because they paid her fee. As it says somewhere in this thtread, You still have to be somewhat of a gentlemen.

  14. #14
    the last of the mohicans
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    Quote Originally Posted by Our Affair View Post
    Did she reply to them on their bad review thread?

    How is it generally perceived when an escort does reply to a bad review?
    Up until recently to my knowledge .. Ladies could only respond to a thread that could be considered? 'threatening' to her business, in one single post...
    I've seen a change at this level, and now there are longer debates.. And clarifications... ( on behalf of the lovely ladies..)
    I used to frown on this, but with time I understood the impact a biased review could have on a provider.. And I welcome healthy rebuttals.
    I even started a poll on the issue.. And I clearly saw that many members feel it's only right that all parties have their say.
    Last edited by Ricky bonds; 02-02-2011 at 09:12 PM.
    "Scars remind us where we've been. They don't have to dictate where we're going"

  15. #15
    Did she reply to them on their bad review thread?

    How is it generally perceived when an escort does reply to a bad review?
    Replys by agency escorts in review threads get deleted by the mods, at which point some members advocate for allowing the girl to post, while others advocate for the status quo. Mods always side with the latter group and chastise whomever didn't read the rule book. I believe a girl's employer is allowed to respond on behalf of the girl a limited number of times. If MERB is like PERB, independents are likely also allowed to respond (an independent I saw in BC responded to my review, anyway). Also, I believe the ability to respond in a review thread might depend on whether or not the employer/indy is an advertiser. Check the policies and procedures manual, as I'm only a casual observer.

    I'm all for allowing verifiable SPs to respond, but it's not my board, so what I think is irrelevant. I believe mods are opposed because they want to minimize flamming in review threads and limit non-review bantering. While I can appreciate the mods' perspective, they could still give SPs a sounding board if there were a Merbite review section where providers could post about client experiences. Such a section would provide fellow members some comic relief and allow members to decide whether a negative SP review may have been due to issues that the client had.

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