View Poll Results: Should insults and name-calling be allowed on MERB?

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  • Not at all (see text)

    46 77.97%
  • Merb should not intervene (see text)

    8 13.56%
  • Tolerated if no MERB members targeted. (see text)

    5 8.47%
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Thread: Insults and name-calling

  1. #1

    Insults and name-calling

    Following a recent situation lately, moderators faced a dilema and I'd like the member's opinion.

    Again, this poll is not binding to MERB and is only intended to get a feel of the member's state of mind.

    • Some are saying it's not a problem to insult people who are not on MERB but some are considering it to be a coward act to insult people who can't reply.
    • Some are saying it's ok to insult people, as long as nobody on MERB is targeted but some are saying it's inevitable, some MERB members might feel targeted by these broad, general insults.
    • Some are saying MERB should not intervene and leave people solve their problems the way they see fit, even if it turns thread into flame wars.
    • Some are saying no insults or name-calling whatsoever should be allowed since it's possible to have a discussion without resulting to insults and without loosing any punch in argumentation.

    So, what are the members thinking? Feel free to post your point of view, on top of answering the poll.

    See below for complete questions (they don't fit in poll...)


    1. Not at all. It's possible to make a point without that. Insults and name-calling are a sign of loosing control.
    2. MERB sould not intervene and leave members solve their problems, no matter if threads turn into flame wars.
    3. Should be tolerated as long as it's ABSOLUTELY impossible for a MERB member to feel targeted (example of tolerated wording: John Doe from ThatCompany is an asshole.) General insults and name calling where a member could feel targeted should not be tolerated.

    This is a private poll.

    Thanks
    Last edited by Mod 11; 07-23-2011 at 04:22 PM.

  2. #2
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    M 11,
    You are asking for black and white answers to questions that have many shades of gray. While I can't really vote for any of the choices are stated, I do wonder: you say that this is a private poll. Are the replies visible to the mods?

    Is a bad review name calling? If an agency operator blatantly lies to a poster and is called out for that, does that constitute an insult? If a poster is attacked on a competing board, should he not reply here?
    The mounties always get their man.

  3. #3
    I think that insults which make an attempt at humor should be permitted. As an example:
    A female parliamentarian is said to have insulted Winston Churchill by saying that if she was his wife she would poison his tea. He replied that if he was married to her he would drink it.

    Not nearly as witty, but I went over the top in praising the perceptiveness and altruism of a newly joined member for a very suspiciously enthusiastic review and nobody objected. I probably would have been banned had I simply called him a shill.

    I don't think, however, that a prosaic insult of another poster (asshole, idiot etc.) should be tolerated.

  4. #4
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    M11,

    I don't know what thread(s) or context prompted you to create this poll however I agree 100% with these two quotes.

    Some are saying it's not a problem to insult people who are not on MERB but some are considering it to be a coward act to insult people who can't reply.
    As a result if I ran MERB I would ban all mention of any competing board.

    Some are saying MERB should not intervene and leave people solve their problems the way they see fit, even if it turns thread into flame wars.

    Now if you're referring to threads on MERB such as sports, politics, and religion which tend to get heated, I say let anything go. If a member has a problem with a thread or poster they can simply auto-censor themselves using the ignore function or even better resist the temptation to view a thread which might hurt their fragile feelings. Not to much to ask or expect on an adult board IMHO.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]The hockey game most enjoyed by Canadians from coast to coast since 1972.

  5. #5
    Insults that are directed at other members should not be tolerated. Insults directed at people in the news or sports teams or athletes are not covered in MERB rules as far as I can see. If someone is so thin skinned that they think that general statements apply to them, then perhaps these people should be posting somewhere else. Maybe a Disney forum or something where everything is just sugar plums and dumplings and the real world doesn't come into it.
    And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.

  6. #6
    Hi Rumple

    Who votes what in a private poll is 100% private. Even the moderators can't see it.

    How can you think a bad review could be called "name-calling"? If the review is done in a respectful manner, without insulting the SP/agency/MP or other, there is nothing wrong with reporting FACTS, no matter if they are favorable to the SP or not.

    A review like this would be considered unacceptable:
    The stupid bitch got here 1 hour late even the dumb agency receptionist kept telling me "almost there" all the time. When she got here, the girl had an ass as big as a city bus and smelled like shit so much, I was thinking they sent me a cow.
    Same review, in an acceptable format. Less "color" but same facts.
    The girl was late 1 hour even if the agency receptionist was telling me "almost there " all the time. I was far form happy. When she got here, the girl had a way bigger ass than what I was expected and was not smelling like roses.
    You see the difference?

    If an SP or agency is lying, as long as they are exposed respectfully (same as the review process) and proof can be shown of the lie, there is no problem in saying so. That always been the case and it won't change.

    Cross-board snipping is not allowed, no matter the tone used or the topic. No changes there and it have nothing to do with this topic.

    ---------

    Hi Anon

    Humor as an insult and vice-versa has always been very delicate. The "insultor" better be certain the "insultee" is aware the insult is intended as a joke and the "insultor" better hope it will be seen as such. We do see insults by some members who are directed to other members and, when we know the good history between the members, we tend to ignore these insults but, the best way to ensure no bad blood is to specify in the post the insult is a joke.

    I saw the thread you're talking about and it made me think. You were pretty close to a suspension. If the guy would have complained, I would have had no choice.
    In cases like that, contacting a moderator is the way to go. We need to go on proof so, we can't act on presumption. However, there are time it's so evident, even if moderators can't officially react, there's no use for members mentioning the shill: anybody can figure it out.

    ---------

    Keep'em coming!

    Thanks

  7. #7
    Look at Terb. The place has no civility. Not a pleasant place to be and the volume of posts about nothing of any substance makes it harder to use functions like the new posts to gather information on the escorting world.

    On the other extreme it would be sad indeed if I could not call Adolf Hitler or Joesph Stalin a bunch of donkey raping cockmasters just because they couldn't defend themselves.

    As for public and political figures less extreme, I could see the argument both ways. On one hand, they are public figures, on the other hand it does rile up their fans/supporters.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by wasisname View Post
    As for public and political figures less extreme, I could see the argument both ways. On one hand, they are public figures, on the other hand it does rile up their fans/supporters.
    I see no reason for moderators here to moderate any comment towards a public figure. In the legal world, there is no such thing as defamation of character of a public figure. It's the price to pay for being in the public eye.

    I agree with wasisname. If the board became a daily shootout at the Okay Coral, like he describes on TERB, it would not be good. If you make this place so insulated that you are afraid to say anything, then it won't be worth posting. There has to be a happy medium.

  9. #9
    je crois moi aussi ,si je peux me permetre . que garder un language propre et intelligent crontibue a la credibilité de merb .
    merb est vraiment le resaux reference pour ceux qui desires connaitres le red light de montreal et au quebec . et je crois
    qui si certaines choses serais tolerer ,meme humoristiquement . il y aurais toujours quelqu un qui se fera un plaisir de prendre
    un pied au lieu d un pouce . alors pourquoi risquer de perdre une credibilité si bien aquise par vous tous les membre ??

    je parle avec beaucoup de gens d autres pays et ils le disent merb est vraiment la reference ici !! et il n est pas gennant
    de le donner en reference .

  10. #10
    I'm not sure I see what the problem is here. There are rules in place that we posters are not permitted to call each other names, etc., and naturally there will always be situations that occur outside of the stated rules but it is not reasonable to expect rules in black & white for every word or expression that extends over that line.

    I assume that this is the reason why a board such as this has moderators, to make judgements amongst yourselves of each of these situations as they occur.

    I've found that lately there is too much of a heavy hand being levied here. I was astonished to see a poster's quote was edited saying it was too long. To me this is too much public involvement by a mod and not something that I need to see. Wouldn't communicating privately with the poster have sufficed ?

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mod 11 View Post
    1. Not at all. It's possible to make a point without that. Insults and name-calling are a sign of loosing control.
    2. MERB sould not intervene and leave members solve their problems, no matter if threads turn into flame wars.
    3. Should be tolerated as long as it's ABSOLUTELY impossible for a MERB member to feel targeted (example of tolerated wording: John Doe from ThatCompany is an asshole.) General insults and name calling where a member could feel targeted should not be tolerated.

    This is a private poll.

    Thanks
    Hello M11,

    1. It's not only possible to make a point without insults, it's extremely easy. Whether from anger, tension, or the mistaken view that insults are okay, only lack of will prevents anyone from posting intelligently...or for fun...without insults.

    2. Ridiculous! We've all seen how ugly it has gotten elsewhere. The inevitable result of a wild west insult shootout type of board, is escalation to total implosion with nothing left but trash in the end.

    3. This one has a huge flaw. Individuals have different tolerance levels and different perceptions of what is being said. Anyone can "feel targeted" over anything. I once put up a photo of the famous moment when Jason Varitek shoved his glove in A-Rod's face. Though I said nothing referring any member at all, one member said he felt targeted. C'mon. The phrase should be...no member of Merb should ever be insulted, and whether he/she was should be a common sense judgment call by the mods alone.

    You mods have been a little heavy handed lately, but I think it's a good thing. Making allowances only encourages increasingly common and harsher offenses. Some extremely intelligent and highly educated members here have gotten in the habit of making bold-faced insults because of the past atmosphere of allowances in certain conditions. Others like me, have gotten in the habit of poor inuendos and veiled insults. Your point recently that removing insults did not affect the strength of the point being made was 100% accurate. There's no justification for this stuff.

    All I ask is that you draw a consistent line.

    Quote Originally Posted by rumpleforeskiin View Post
    M 11,
    You are asking for black and white answers to questions that have many shades of gray.

    Is a bad review name calling? If an agency operator blatantly lies to a poster and is called out for that, does that constitute an insult? If a poster is attacked on a competing board, should he not reply here?
    Agreed. As I've alluded to, anyone can feel insulted. There will never be a perfect definition of an "insult". Intelligent common sense by the mods must be the deciding factor.

    When it comes to members there should be no insults. But the mods are going to have to use good sense judgment beyond members too. We've seen members make blanket stereotype attacks, we've seen what happens when members make unrestricted attacks on many subjects.

    Cheers,

    Merlot

    PS

    Why is the poll private? Can't everyone stand up for their opinion on this.
    Last edited by Merlot; 07-23-2011 at 11:50 PM.

  12. #12
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    Hello,
    Blatant insults should not be tollerated. I agree with what most have said here. Humorous jabs and digs run on a very thin line as M11 says, and can be taken wrong, so closer scrutiny is required.
    Like it says in my signature, "...I'm sure that we can handle this situation maturely, just like the responsible adults that we are. Isn't that right, Mr... Poopy Pants?" I certainly don't want to insult anyone with poopy pants.

    Sweetwater
    Last edited by sweetwater; 07-24-2011 at 01:10 AM.
    "I have the right to remain silent, but I don't have the ability": Ron White
    "Oh, it's all right. I'm sure that we can handle this situation maturely, just like the responsible adults that we are. Isn't that right, Mr... Poopy Pants?": Leslie Nielsen as Lt. Frank Drebin in "The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear" (1991)
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  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by James Joyce View Post

    I've found that lately there is too much of a heavy hand being levied here. I was astonished to see a poster's quote was edited saying it was too long. To me this is too much public involvement by a mod and not something that I need to see. Wouldn't communicating privately with the poster have sufficed ?
    I agree completely with JJ on this point. There's been more than a few instances recently where the moderation of Merb becomes way overboard. Sometimes they just need to chill out and relax on some fronts.
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    Typical Yankee fan in the Merb Sports Section!! Bwwaahh.

  14. #14
    You certainly do have a way with words Sweetwater, lol.... why the only thing that could be worse than calling someone poopy pants is Mr. Crappy Pants..

    Seriously tho, like one poster said, direct insults like Ahole, Idiot, Jerk, Retard.....etc, etc... should not be tolerated when it comes from one member to another, however i see no probem when it is said about a public figure who is in the public eye. One, this place here on Merb is a family so to speak, a community, while the other, is not.

    How is that SW? i mean crappy pants (like M11 suggested even tho it isnt needed in this case because SW knows i am joking, .... but, Sweetwater, i am kidding)

    Quote Originally Posted by sweetwater View Post
    Hello,

    Like it says in my signature, "...I'm sure that we can handle this situation maturely, just like the responsible adults that we are. Isn't that right, Mr... Poopy Pants?" I certainly don't want to insult anyone with poopy pants.

    Sweetwater

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by lgna69xxx View Post
    You certainly do have a way with words Sweetwater, lol....
    How is that SW? i mean crappy pants (like M11 suggested even tho it isnt needed in this case because SW knows i am joking, .... but, Sweetwater, i am kidding)
    Thanks, Iggy, I think. I know you're joking. However I had beans for supper, so you can guess what this motel room smells like!
    Sweetwater
    "I have the right to remain silent, but I don't have the ability": Ron White
    "Oh, it's all right. I'm sure that we can handle this situation maturely, just like the responsible adults that we are. Isn't that right, Mr... Poopy Pants?": Leslie Nielsen as Lt. Frank Drebin in "The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear" (1991)
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