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Thread: Porn Movies: Like/ Don't Like

  1. #1

    Porn Movies: Like/ Don't Like

    Came across a "don't like" list that captured a lot of what turns me off about porn films.

    Don't Like
    1. Fake anything. Fake breasts, fake cum, fake passion, fake sex.
    2. Excessive tattoos. I know a lot of pornstars are into ink culture and body art. I just don't like to look at it.
    3. Excessive piercings (exception: fetish videos) especially on the face.
    4. Except in POV videos I don't want to see ANYONE looking into the camera, and in particular, I don't want a woman to look into the camera and ask me if I'm watching, or if I'm jerking off -- DUH! Of course I'm watching and jerking off. What other purpose is there for porn?
    5. Directors who talk DURING a scene. Pre scene conversations are OK, but once the action starts the person behind the camera needs to shut the hell up.
    6. Awkward or overly gymnastic positions.
    7. Spitting, particularly spitting in the face
    8. Disrespect of any kind in a non D/s scene.
    9. Face slapping. See #8 above.
    10. False advertising -- box covers that promise more than the movie inside can deliver.
    11. So-called "amateur" porn that is anything but.
    12. Wide shots showing all the cameras, equipment, and workers on a scene. Total wood killer. Porn is about the fantasy. When you break the third wall and show me the sausage being made it totally kills the mood.
    13. Performers, especially female, who are not into it. The last thing I want is for some pornstarlet to give me her interpretation of Jane Fonda in "Klute" or some housewife thinking "Beige. I think I'll pain the ceiling beige."
    14. Excessive, and obviously artificial grunting, groaning, screaming, or excessive verbalizing.
    15. Smoking. I've kissed women who smoked, but not more than once. It's an ugly habit.
    16. Guys in a D/s scene trying to dominate a woman when they don't have a clue how to go about it. There's a difference between dominance and just being an asshole. D/s done properly is about mutual trust and respect -- even love. It's not just about being brutal.
    17. Too many shots of some guy's hairy bottom. Not attractive.
    18. Shots of a guy's face showing him grimacing before ejaculating -- these often appear to be men passing kidney stones.
    19. Parodies. Enough said.
    20. Position changes for no apparent reason.
    And, conversely, a list of "likes":

    1. Real passion
    2. Real lovemaking
    3. Real orgasms
    4. Chemistry -- the performers need to make me believe that they are into each other, and I don't mean that in the pentrative sense.
    5. Real bodies. I don't care about imperfections. I want to watch real people having real sex. There are limits though. I don't want to see someone who looks like me on the screen.
    6. Focus. The performers should be focused on each other. I need to believe that they have forgotten about the fact that there are cameras/crew on the set with them.
    7. Good camera work. This should go without saying.
    8. Minimal editing. I want to see scenes that grow naturally, without a lot of obvious manipulation by the director. The best thing the director can do is find performers who are hot for each other and let them go at it in whatever way feels good to them. I'm not positive that this is always practical, but I like to see it.
    9. Decent lighting and sound.
    10. Don't show me everything. Sometimes showing less is better than showing more. Almost is sometimes more erotic than completely.
    11. Kissing. Lots of it. With tongue. This applies to both M/F and F/F scenes.
    12. Men paying attention to a woman's pleasure; women paying attention to each others pleasure.
    13. Show me the 2 shot -- don't just focus on one person.
    14. Cum shots that make sense -- i.e. make sense within the context of the scene. (I know that this isn't always possible, but I like when it happens)
    15. If it's anal, I want to see the lube.
    16. Tall red haired women (God bless Darla Crane!)
    17. A woman's legs. I'm a legs/ass man. Don't get me wrong, I love a woman's breasts, but a good pair of legs gets my attention every time.
    18. Eye contact between performers.
    19. Single camera angles with continuous action. A great example of this is Girl Crush 2, particularly the Georgia Jones-Kristina Rose scene. Mason gives us about a 10 minute take with one camera before a nice dissolve to more action.
    20. Tribbing in a lesbian scene. I don't know why, but this really gets me every time if it's done well.
    Source

    Lots of great ideas, if only a few adult film directors would take notice.

    For me, top on the list, I'd like to see some effort put into a half-decent storyline. And actors who don't immediately disrobe (or where hopefully a palatable script is in play). There's something to be said for a scene build-up but evidently, this is not where a lot of adult movies tend to go. Nor do too many actors have actual .... acting skills. But when they do, it's fun to watch, especially when their behavior is consistent with the character they are supposed to be playing.

    Not to mention how some actors seem to be in every movie. HBO adult films are the worst. It's as if HBO had signed an exclusive deal with Randy Spears. I'm not into male porn actors but this guy is frankly irritating. Enough already.

    And then you can't watch a porn flick without several actors producing gobs of spit and engaging in bitch-slapping. Who is asking for this stuff?

    As a general rule, I've found European directors to be a little more sophisticated and careful when it comes to the above, but perhaps I'm a poor judge as I only rely on what tube sites are offering.

    Which adult filmmakers/ porn stars have you seen delivering "solid" performances?

  2. #2
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    I've seen very few porn movies. Pretty much only clips on the internet. I really don't like male porn actors. I like when they are as invisible as they can be. So I can't take any kind of talking or sounds from them. I like when their look is very unassuming as well. Not super tanned, muscular, shaved head guys. Just regular BND types who keep quiet and let the girl take center stage. I really enjoy POV when the guy knows how to work the camera.
    I really am not up to date with who are the pornstars of today and haven't seen most of them in action. I do like the performances of Bree Olson, Sasha Grey (a little too hard core at times), Allison Pierce, Kelly Kline. That's all the girls I can remember lol. I am more of a random, amateur porn watcher.

  3. #3
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    I have'nt watched a porn DVD in a long time, but I always liked the Marc Dorcel productions. A lot of their movies are pretty classy, with gorgeous natural beauties, posh mansions and fancy lingerie and costumes. I personnaly like the Russian Institute serie and anything else with uniforms and roleplay. One of my favorite movie for some reason was Les Nuits de la Presidente with Laure Sainclair which is also probably my favorite actress. Although nothing has the thrill I had watching old softcore movies on Bleue Nuit as a kid…

  4. #4
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    Personally I find myself more and more inclined to watch lesbian porn videos. These are the only clips that I find erotic on the Internet and most importantly they are brainless-on-steroids-muscular-brutal-porn-male actors free.

  5. #5
    I like fake tits, letha weapons, tiffany towers, lovette. Yum. I also like the naturals too.

    One thing I don't like is when then have a close up of some guys ass when he is on top of a chick. I mean really, hommie don't play that way.
    Oh and that annoying crying that Japanese porno chicks do. Even before they get touched eww ewww ewww.

  6. #6
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    I don't watch much porn these days, but other than the old classics, my favorite type is/was gonzo type of porn. Butts, Siffredi, Buttman & TTBoy's movies were among my favorites. When i grew up, my favorite porn actress was Ginger Lynn. I also lusted for Seka, Amber Lynn, Christy Canyon, Candy Evans & Stacey Donovan.

    Other than gonzo type, i might watch some europorn. I find the cinematography much better than porn on this side of the ocean & the actors better & more natural looking. I grew sick n' tired of over-inflated fake boobs & male actors who look like they just came out of Folsom Prison. Most male performers in North American (US & Quebec) aren't good looking & are covered with tatoos. Many have small dicks. I mean, it doesn't help the fantasy when you have these losers screwing hot babes......makes it kind of unbelievable, doesn't it? Almost like us old johns screwing young & hot sps!!

    In Europorn, the girls i've seen (e.g. Rocco Siffredi movies) look natural & most don't have man-mades. The guys are better-looking, most don't have tatoos & they have big dicks. I mean, what's a good porn movie without big dicks, right?

  7. #7
    Big no-no's for me would be:
    Anything but fast glipses of the guy. Who the hell wants to look at the guy?
    Spitting of any kind.
    Bad lighting.
    Unneeded/excessive/non-sensical editing cuts.

    I have to admit, although it is lame I like when there is some sort of attempt at acting a story out.

  8. #8
    X-Art are delivering a lot of movies with beautiful actors who perform passionately, without spitting and slapping.

  9. #9
    Forgot to mention shots of the guy's hairy anus. That's not good! X-art does have some nice material.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Turbodick View Post
    Big no-no's for me would be:
    Anything but fast glipses of the guy. Who the hell wants to look at the guy?
    Uh.....women?

  11. #11
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    Hmmm,

    1. Where is the woman? A beautiful sexy woman with a great body is THE turn on. Why focus 90% of the video on just the tightest shot of the screwing, eliminating every trace of the individual beauty. Show the woman.

    2. Spitting...gross.

    3. Gaping...WTF! Some do this a dozen times back and forth barely touching. It's extremely unappealing, and the guy looks like an idiot who doesn't know what to do.

    4. Creampies. For me a woman's beauty and her eyes are a huge attraction and arousal factor. Seeing her face covered in goo is nothing but disgusting.

    5. Sensuality. Kissing, erotic touching, attention to breasts, etc, all increase arousal. Why is it so many pornstars can do so much that's kinky or more and never do the simple arousal things.

    6. Ass to mouth. I met a real pornstar once who did this. It sure was a turn off....as it always is with video.

    7. Chit chat. Porn is supposed to be a sexual fantasy. Having a nonsense chat with the director, cameraman, or whoever, is a killjoy.

    8. Humiliation and violence. This is not sex or sexy in my view. It's humiliation and violence ...period. Save it for the misogynists.

    9. Screen Writing. Role play stories can be extremely arousing, but there's no need to reconstruct Gone With The Wind, especially when the acting and writing is even more cheesy than the original. Keep it brief.

    10. Somebody please tell Ron Jeremy he sucks more than all the women he's been with put together. I've never seen anyone sit on his ass and do nothing so consistently. His career has obviously been a concession to profit from other fat, ugly, lazy, limp dick slugs.

    11. Lesbians. Got to admit...two hot beauties, or more, hot for each other. However, strapons, don't bother.

    Cheers,

    Merlot

  12. #12
    What I don't like in porn:
    1. Facials. I like internal cum shots in the vagina or anus but facials have always left me cold.
    2. Violence (spitting, slapping). I've noticed more of that in recent years in more "mainstream" porn movies and I don't like it.

  13. #13
    Dislikes:

    1. BJs->I am not interested in seeing a dick. The focus should be on a woman's pleasure. I want to see DATY.
    2.Spitting->disgusting
    3.Creampies->not interested in seeing cum on the girl or on her face
    4.Do not care much for violence or humiliation
    5.In lesbian sex videos not interested in seeing one girl put a strap on and then bang her. Again like to see lots of DATY, DFK with lots of tongue action, and lots of tribbing (something that is very rare to see)
    There is no knowledge that is not power.

  14. #14
    Hotel Porn

    When I choose to watch porn on Spectravision at the hotel i am frequently disappointed by the following:

    1. An abscence of seducton - One recent selection started with the couple already fucking....WTF? I want to see some devious scenerio like a married couple trying to seduce a 19 year old to have her first lesbion experience or two couples wife swapping or the horny housewife seducing the plumber or two nuns and a goat! Give me a little plot or something to arouse me.

    2. Spitting - I`m with you guys. Since when did hocking up a luggy constitute eroticism and become a prelude to sex? This is nothing more than disgusting. Having said this, I once had a Montreal SP spit on my cock a few times during and I liked it.

    3. Poorly played out fantasys - Merlot I disagree. When I watch ``Sleeping With My Best Friends Mom`` I want to believe the seduction. I want something carefully and thoughtfully choreographed. I am not asking for Gone With The Wind either but most of these scenes are 1 minute of impromtu seduction and then 59 minutes of sex. The next scene may have no seduction and start with sex. This is not erotic. I would rather have less sex and more seduction.

    4. Taking off the Stockings and Heels t do the deed - WTF is this? I want the heels and stocking on through the entire session....and it better be black or white and fish nets are a plus. Fuckware is sexy. Too often the chica is wearing the slutware and then takes off her stockings and heels prior to jumping in bed.

    5. Vanilla Sex - I get enough of this shit at home and i don`t want to pay for it. I want some tabo seduction such as ``Screw My Wife Please`` or ``Her first 3-sum.``

    6. Marginal Woman - I do not want to watch 6`s and 7`s go at it. I want to watch 9`s and 10`s. A truely beautiful woman can make up for problems 1-5 listed above.

  15. #15
    I'll go against the grain here.

    What I like in porn:


    1. Girls who swallow/drink cum - multiple loads in a wide open mouth. Drinking multiple loads from martini glass/bucket/plate what have you
    2. Anal play gaping, ass to mouth
    3. Cream pies even better when pushed out and swallowed
    4. Hot looking girls doing nasty things
    5. Girls rimming assholes
    6. Dirty talk mostly from the girl
    7. Cumswap (girls only)
    8. Deep throat / Face fucking / Tea bagging, bls
    9. Spitting (during blow job)
    10. Gangbang & Reverse gangbang

    What I don't like in porn:


    1. Lame attempt at acting
    2. Endless seduction scene: All I want to see is action
    3. Girl on girl
    4. Guys with poor aim or weak pop shot
    5. Kissing and "love making"
    6. Fisting
    7. Foot fetish/smoking fetish
    8. Bondage, S&M stuff
    9. Fake dicks/cumshots
    10. Any sex involving food

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