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Thread: Living Single , How do you do it

  1. #1

    Living Single , How do you do it

    I am in my mid 40's , just got divorced after all most 20 years in a marriage and moved from Calgary to Montreal few weeks back so I can start every thing new, got zero friends, family here but a well paying job and just bought a nice condo in downtown.

    I do not want to get into another relationship but living single is lonely. Thanks to MERB sex is not an issue but that companionship last one or tow hours, may be three max.

    What do other single guys do to keep your self busy ? I work 80 hour weeks and do not enjoy the single life, every married friend I have in Calgary is envy of me thinking that I am having time of my life but I am not

    MtlJay

  2. #2
    Quote Originally Posted by mtljay View Post
    I work 80 hour weeks
    Trust me, this is the first thing you need to change

    Best Regards

    Smuler
    Savoir Faire Is Everywhere !!!

    Trying one day to be " In the Know "

  3. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by smuler View Post
    Trust me, this is the first thing you need to change

    Best Regards

    Smuler
    I do that since i do not have much else to do , dont want to sit alone at home and watch TV like my ex. The problem I am finding in MTL is that their are 2 social groups, the 20 to 30 age crowd college kids and 60+ retired .....that 30 to 50 seem to be a hard to find group.

  4. #4
    Good morning MtlJay,
    I am separeted for about 4 years now and I moved from Quebec city to the north of montreal... At first you really don't know what to do.
    But you start making friends male and female, then start to go out and change your routine.
    It take's time, be patient, You'll get use to it soon

    Good luck

  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by mtljay View Post
    The problem I am finding in MTL is that their are 2 social groups, the 20 to 30 age crowd college kids and 60+ retired .....that 30 to 50 seem to be a hard to find group.
    Nothing wrong with dating a 28 year old at your age.
    If you prefer a 40 year old then get a license to hunt cougars.
    Better still take a 2 week vacation in an all inclusive island resort (Cuba, DR, Jamaica etc,)....that`s were all the Montreal single women hang out.

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by cloudsurf View Post
    Nothing wrong with dating a 28 year old at your age.
    If you prefer a 40 year old then get a license to hunt cougars.
    Better still take a 2 week vacation in an all inclusive island vacation.....that`s were all the Montreal single women hang out.
    I need a vacation, was thinking about Thailand but please provide some details on which all inclusive cougars hang out :-)

  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by mtljay View Post
    I work 80 hour weeks and do not enjoy the single life, ...
    When do you even have time to ? between 12 hour workdays, sleep, eating, transit and errands, you have about all of 90 minutes left to yourself each day, no?

    I can't imagine what it could be like, because I've never been alone, ever; if there wasn't a girlfriend or family, there was always at least one roommate. Never had a place all my own to myself. I actually get more quiet time at work alone at night.

    My guess would be that you should find some type of group activity to participate in, to start making connections with other people.
    Hanging out at a coffee shop like second cup/starbucks can be hit or miss because people these days are all honked into their personal devices, and have forgotten that face time is not just an iPhone app.
    When you bring a book tho, sometimes the vibe of just having people around, even without conversation, can be good. The big library on the corner of Berri/Maisonneuve is an excellent place for the reading-in-public thing. If you're not a book worm, you could pick up a copy of the Montreal Mirror to see what's happening in town. Montreal has a pretty good offering of stuff to do and see.

    Personally as an introvert I would just use the opportunity to finally be able to do *the fuck I want* unfettered, even it's just catching up on reading, movie, hobbies, being able to enjoy my own thoughts for a change...

  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by mtljay View Post
    I do not want to get into another relationship but living single is lonely. Thanks to MERB sex is not an issue but that companionship last one or tow hours, may be three max.

    What do other single guys do to keep your self busy ?
    rinse lather repeat

    if you dont want to do that, simple, get into a relationship
    hopefully a healthy mentally rewarding one.
    easy? of course not,
    thats why paying for a 1,2, 3 hr one is easy
    put in as much as effort in finding a quality chick as you do at your job, and you'll find one eventually

    have you tried playing tam tams?

  9. #9
    i am single and yes i does get lonely at times.
    But i would not get into a relationship unless the girl was perfect.
    id rather stay single than settle on a girl that was not sa coche lol

  10. #10
    Veteran of Misadventures
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    I am in your age bracket. I don't get lonely and I have been single my entire adult life. My one regret is not having lived in the city, whether New York City, Boston or Montreal. All 3 are great places to live for single professionals who make a good wage. A friend of mine who lives in NYC recently contrasted dating ops there vs. where I live and the ops are greater in a city.

    Your main problem is working 80 hour weeks. If that does not change how will you ever be able to invest proper time in developing a relationship? You may need to take a close look at why your marriage failed and hopefully something can be learned. For the time being, escorts are a logical short term solution which will satisfy the biological need for sex. As time goes on, make the time to explore the St. Laurent club scene. I would also suggest a Cougar hunt at Thursdays. My friend was attacked there by a drunken cougar and only a quick-thinking rescue attempt by me saved him. Perhaps, in your case, you will permit the attack. Last time I was at Thursdays in March, I sat at the main bar and the air was rich with the smell of Cougars and the blood of the victims.
    Last edited by EagerBeaver; 06-17-2012 at 12:17 AM.

  11. #11
    Single + move to Montreal + see SPs = go broke.

    Ain't gonna sugar coat this one. Dude, you lost one part of your life, now you open the door to totally fuck it up. Move out of Montreal asap.

  12. #12
    Some good solid advice. The only reason I work insane hours is because i dont have any thing else to do. I need to spend more time at Thursdays


    Quote Originally Posted by EagerBeaver View Post
    I am in your age bracket. I don't get lonely and I have been single my entire adult life. My one regret is not having lived in the city, whether New York City, Boston or Montreal. All 3 are great places to live for single professionals who make a good wage. A friend of mine who lives in NYC recently contrasted dating ops there vs. where I live and the ops are greater in a city.

    Your main problem is working 80 hour weeks. If that does not change how will you ever be able to invest proper time in developing a relationship? You may need to take a close look at why your marriage failed and hopefully something can be learned.
    For the time being, escorts are a logical short term solution wwhich will satisfy the biological need for sex. As time goes on, make the time to explore the St. Laurent club scene. I would also suggest a Cougar hunt at Thursdays. My friend was attacked there by a drunken cougar and only a quick-thinking rescue attempt by me saved him. Perhaps, in your case, you will permit the attack. Last time I was at Thursdays in March, I sat at the main bar and the air was rich with the smell of Cougars and the blood of the victims.

  13. #13
    Registered User
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    949
    Working less hours is key. Since you work so many hours just to fill up the void, reducing the hours shouldn't be an issue. The great part about being single is that you can do what you want, when you want, all the time. Hit the gym, play some sports, pick up a hobby, etc. Start enjoying yourself.

  14. #14
    Pimpin' ain't easy...
    Join Date
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    Single since 2000, execpt for a 2 month period 2 years ago. It has his advantages, no stress, no fights, my stuff is mine and no one can take it away. But also means often being lonely, bored and in need of love and sex. After such a long period alone, i wonder if i could ever be with someone or live with someone.
    You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither. - Steve Martin

  15. #15
    Getting out to Thursdays is fine for a couple hours, but not a network maker. I would suggest a gym, it provides lots of opportunity to meet people and helps get you out of the office at the end of the day. If your looking for a get away..... Not "all inclusives".... send me a pm if you are interested in some good DR info.

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