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Thread: Is It A Good Idea To Do This When Booking/Setting Up Appointment ?

  1. #1

    Is It A Good Idea To Do This When Booking/Setting Up Appointment ?

    Fellow Merbites,

    Do you think that it would it be a good idea (or is it recommended) that I reveal that I am
    a visible minority when booking with an agency/Indy ? I haven't spent time with a SP
    as of yet but I would like to avoid any awkward/disappointing situations if/when I
    actually do.I don't want to waste a girl's time (and mine) to show up for an incall
    just to be turned away....my time is wasted & she loses money. No good for either
    of us.

    Personally, I fully support an SP right to refuse to see clients regardless of the reason.
    I have no problem with that and I don't label them because of their choices. It's their
    time,their body and their decision.

    Have some of you been asked if you were of a certain background when booking...setting
    up an appointment ? Were you told that the girl does not see a certain type of guy ?

    Thanks

  2. #2
    Retired veteran hobbyist
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    If you don't want your feelings hurt & your evening ruined, then i'd be open about it & tell her or the agency.

    A few years ago, i saw an Eleganza girl who immediately climbed to the top of my atf list. When i saw her again a couple of months later, i also booked her afterwards for a good friend of mine, who also happens to be part of the 'visible minority' grouping. He's a great guy, but if an escort is offended about 'doing' clients that don't have white skin, well, there might be a problem.

    Well, i saw her, and i told her later that she'd be visiting a good friend of mine. I asked her to be very nice to him & gave her a bit of an idea on what his likes & dislikes are. She seemed anxious & eager to meet my buddy.

    Well, a half hour after she left, my buddy called me. I was surprised & asked him if she was still with him. He sounded sad & disappointed, and asked me why i had bothered to send her to him. It turns out that she may have been one of his most disappointments ever, since she refused to let him touch her! The moment she walked into his room, he noticed from her look that she was very surprised & disappointed. She sat away from him, looked uncomfortable when he'd touch her, and it was so awkward that he told her that she could leave if she wanted. He was somewhat surprised when she accepted his offer, but not before she asked him for a donation. She wanted $100, but he told her he wasn't going to pay her this after 15 minutes of doing nothing. He gave her $50 for showing up & she left.

    I was very surprised to hear this since not once had i sensed that she may have trouble working with different ethnicities. She may also have had a problem seeing clients that could be as old as her parents (and at times grandparents), but that's the nature of the job she chose to be in.

    A few months later, i mentionned to my buddy that i wanted to offer him a treat. Jokingly, he replied "Sure, as long as you don't see me another racist sp!" I couldn't help but laugh.

  3. #3
    Adorable libertine
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    I am one who is curious about the person who want to share time in my company.

    So, I am asking to know a bit more who is writing to me, so, yes, one part is "describe yourself physically", and in my eyes, that's a detail the origin of someone, but I like to meet different kind of people with different background, and just to know it before the encounter is very nice.

    I had the experience once to exchange with someone who did not talk that much about his physical description, but you should have seen my face when I entered his room and discover on the spot he was a hassidim jew with the traditional way to be dressed.

    I am always excited to meet new people with different background, but I have been surprised, that's the least I can say... I did not expect it at all. So, when he saw my face at first, he asked me if something was wrong... I just told him the truth, that he did not say nothing about (and I just point his clothes), and he said: "Oh! I did not tell you?" I said no, he asked me at that moment if that was causing any problem, and my answer was no.
    But for me, if I knew in advance, I could have been fantasming and/or questioning myself about how it will be, and prepare myself like reading or taking informations about his religion and other behaviors.



    That's not necessary to tell a lady or an agency, but that will prevent you to meet someone who is racist or *who is having other reasons to not meet with someone part of the "visible minority" and refuse to meet you on the spot.

    *yes, it exists many other reasons why a girl/lady don't wont to meet with someone part of the "visible minority", it is not just by racism.
    Last edited by Maria Divina; 08-25-2012 at 12:30 PM.

  4. #4
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    I even tell the booker/indy my age ( older ) and the few extra kilos I carry to avoid any moments.
    I have only been told once in advance no due to my age, worth the time I may have lost or sub par service.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by box View Post
    Fellow Merbites,

    Do you think that it would it be a good idea (or is it recommended) that I reveal that I am
    a visible minority when booking with an agency/Indy ?

    Personally, I fully support an SP right to refuse to see clients regardless of the reason.

    Have some of you been asked if you were of a certain background when booking...setting
    up an appointment ? Were you told that the girl does not see a certain type of guy ?

    Thanks
    Hello Box,

    Personally I've never been asked if I was a minority and they have no right to do that. But, the problem that some ladies may refuse a client because of race or ethnicity is a real situation. Discussions on this board have shown it is, and I have known a few escorts who mentioned some kind of ban on one or another minority.

    I don't think anyone should have to give the agency notice of this, but in practical terms a problem could happen and then you are not only wasting your time and dealing with a hurtful situation, but lessening the opportunity to find someone that night as time passes and the better ladies are booked. No one can say how often refusal for this reason might happen. Some members have complained of multiple episodes. The choice is to stand your moral ground and face the risks or try to increase your odds of success. Which is more important to you?

    I don't know how I would handle it, except that I would just want this to be as uncomplicated and enjoyable as possible. For others who tried to fight it, it seemed that battling this issue made the whole escort experience less enjoyable overall, not just when there was a real issue. Think about it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Maria Divina View Post
    I had the experience once to exchange with someone who did not talk that much about his physical description, but you should have seen my face when I entered his room and discover on the spot he was a hassidim jew with the traditional way to be dressed.
    Hasidim in traditional dress. Isn't that like Catnip to a hot babe.

    I saw a film recently where they pushed, shoved, badgered and tried to get a Canadian arrested just for trying to speak to them. Nice to know the ultra closed attitudes by many of them still allows some grand hypocrisy. Ahhhhhh sex, the ultimate avenue of inclusion.

  6. #6

  7. #7
    Born again punter
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    Wink Touchy subject

    I'm not part of a visible minority, but I've had a few incidents along the way and have come up with ways to "mitigate" them.

    My "tactic" serves to determine two things: does this girl "like" me enough to get intimate, and is she "action-oriented" or "action limiter type".

    So when I meet someone new, we always have the traditional kiss and hug to introduce ourselves. A maximum of 2-3 minutes of chitchat and I put my arms around her and go for a real kiss. The object is not to start the action immediately, but to gauge how she will respond. If I sense something is wrong I will gently ask questions and decide accordingly.

    You are always "locked in" to some money after the girl has made the confirmation call. How much money depends on time spent and if any action happened, among many other factors. I try to "make the call" as soon as I can and then enjoy the rest of the date (or look for a pinch hitter).

    (Wish I would be more stringent in following my own rules, but sometimes hormonal override kicks in, always a bad decision)

    On visible minorities

    Looking at the issue "from the outside", I would not tell booking personnel at agencies that I am part of a minority. Simply because right now I don't tell bookers I am white.

    I would either ask the girl if she is okay with me BEFORE she makes the confirmation call, or try for my "quick first kiss" tactic.

    My sense is also that this all applies to the outcall trade. In an incall, the girl who refuses you is normally not going to expect anything because you can simply leave.

    Long ago a girl at an incall said she would only "do me" with two condoms on because I was skinny and she was afraid I had "something". I refused and walked out without shelling out a penny.

    I fully respect the right of ladies to refuse to see anyone, based on whatever. That type of job necessitates this leeway. Where I have a problem is when the lady will decide to stick with a person she'd rather not be with and be distant. She should simply call off the date.
    Une vie sans folie, c'est une vie sans goût / Life without craziness, is life without taste


  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by sapman99 View Post
    I would not tell booking personnel at agencies that I am part of a minority. Simply because right now I don't tell bookers I am white.
    But whites don't get turned down for being white. Blacks do get turned down for being black.

    Quote Originally Posted by sapman99 View Post
    I fully respect the right of ladies to refuse to see anyone, based on whatever. That type of job necessitates this leeway. Where I have a problem is when the lady will decide to stick with a person she'd rather not be with and be distant. She should simply call off the date.
    No argument there.

  9. #9
    wy is it racist just because someone doesnt have sex with certain types of people? i dont sleep with heavy woman, older woman etc. that doesnt mean i hate them?

  10. #10
    I believe race is only a issue in Montreal or Quebec. In Toronto and Vancouver the "visible minority" is actual the majority. I am speaking in term of both clients and sp. Not living in the province of Quebec, I may not know how far the"distinct society" applies to sex trade. Over the years I have seen girls from Montreal/Quebec working in Toronto and never sense any rejections. They have to adjust their mentality when working in a new environment.

    Like in real estate, "location" is most important. Hobbying in Montreal is different from Toronto and Vancouver

  11. #11
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    I really think that it depends on you ethnicity whether you tell the booker or not.

    As certain ethnicities have there stereotypes whether it be black, brown, asian, arab, or green martian on how the girl percieves she will be treated. As much as I don't see girls of certain ethniciteis, I'm sure that certain SPs feel uncomfortable seeing certain type of clients.

    In the end the more comfortable the girl is with you the more enjoyable your experience with her will be. So don't try to force her to stay cause it will only be a bad experience.
    "Just When I Thought I Was Out.....They Pull Me Back In!!!"

  12. #12
    Quote Originally Posted by cpp433 View Post
    wy is it racist just because someone doesnt have sex with certain types of people? i dont sleep with heavy woman, older woman etc. that doesnt mean i hate them?

    Would you refuse to do business with someone because they were fat? That's more of a parallel, since escorts don't sleep with us out of attraction.

  13. #13
    Born again punter
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    Quote Originally Posted by sapman99 View Post
    Looking at the issue "from the outside", I would not tell booking personnel at agencies that I am part of a minority. Simply because right now I don't tell bookers I am white.
    Quote Originally Posted by Red Paul View Post
    But whites don't get turned down for being white. Blacks do get turned down for being black.
    You are correct. I was only saying this from the standpoint that you shouldn't have to divulge your ethnicity/skin colour. But if an escort rejects a client on those criteria, no $.
    Une vie sans folie, c'est une vie sans goût / Life without craziness, is life without taste


  14. #14
    Thanks to those who responded & offered suggestions.I didn't start the thread to debate whether or not SP's are justified or have the right to refuse clients. I FULLY support
    their decision to restrict who they see on the basis of race,ethnicity,etc.I was wondering if
    I
    should reveal my visible minority status when booking...to avoid disappointment.

    Quote Originally Posted by Maria Divina View Post
    That's not necesary to tell a lady or an agency, but that will prevent you to meet someone who is racist or *who is having other reasons to not meet with someone part of the "visible minority" and refuse to meet you on the spot.

    *yes, it exists many other reasons why a girl/lady don't wont to meet with someone part of the "visible minority", it is not just by racism.
    Hi Maria....even if the girl/lady is motivated by racism....I still have no problem with that.We live is a société libre and people are allowed to like or not like whoever they want.Maybe I don't agree but I support her right to feel that way.


    Quote Originally Posted by Alyssa Roze View Post
    it is kind of rare that a white guy will try to pimp an sp...BUT, if a white man who comes to me and say "yo bitch! Whats up?" won't ever hear anything from me ...(or maybe just a simple "get lost.")

    When i was in agencies, 90% of the withie client were nice.....40% of the black guys were nice..so am i going to take a 6/10 risk to get 70$ for 1h whole hour just to argue with a client
    and hearing his BS? maybe some would..not me...

    As i said, when i was indy it was totally different because i choosed my clients...much easier for me to avoid the guys who were the only reason why i was refusing to see black men..

    Most of them completly understand that! Once i said to one:"you are starting to prove me i was wrong to think almost every young black guys are to avoid as a stripper" he replied before he left the booth:" you shouldn't stop thinking that way." And the ones after him showed me he was right.......
    Alyssa....I'm sorry to hear about your negative experiences & how you were disrespected.
    Myself,If were to spend time with a lady (SP or not)....I would always have un comportement completement parfait du gentleman...aucune propos sexiste ni aggressif.J'suis toujours comme ca. Poli,respecteux,gallant...

    Maybe agencies/Indy's who pre-book should require that clients provide a verified photo ? That way all confusion is avoided.Perhaps I should have started a thread asking which Merbites are visible minorities and which agencies/Indy's have accepted them.But I think that it's only me and maybe a couple of others who are visible minorities.

  15. #15
    TIME OUT!!!

    Box stated clearly his intentions in his opening post and in the post above: he SUPPORT the right of the SP to refuse customers based on ethnicity. This IS NOT the topic of this thread.

    For those who want to know about that topic, it's been discussed in the thread I mention in post #8.

    Any more discussions on that topic in this thread will grant the poster some time off.

    Back to topic please.

    Thanks

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