Am I alone? Mental discomfort at the sight of scantily clad women in public.

[Verbal Kint]

Do you not look at yourself in the mirror sometikes and love yourself or your outfit? Like not ever, at all? Do men really not find self worth in anything but getting laid and being attractive to other people? If nobody desires you, what's your value as a person? If you're the only person liking your legs does it still count? Why does someone's value rely on other people's desire in your mind?

Rough reflexion needed!

We do, well I do, look myself in the mirror.
A lot less I suspect than women might.
Hence why men underwears are less expensives then women's. We care a lot less, and yes there is a hypocritical double standard about it.
And we, society, dont have the solution for it yet.

We find selfworth where we can. It's a concept, an invisible barrier that is established by our parents, early in our childhood. For the good or the bad!
Why do you think so many people need to have folowers, subscribers, and likes to feel good about themselves?
It's validation, affiliation we all seek, and forgot it has to come from within. Only then can you corolate it with others.
Ex: You like how your legs look in that dress. (Validation.) You then go outside wearing said dress, and a construction worker whistles at you. (Confirmation.)
And then you proceed to flip him off and tell me I'm using stereotypites.
( To witch I reply: You are correct, I am vulgarising for simplification and in hopes of lighting up a heavy subject.)

90% of the people who consult mental health professionnals; do so for issues that can be rooted in affiliation.
The need to belong.
According to Maslow's Pyramid.
It is the bottom foundation.
At the top, it is called: Self fulfilment, self realisation.
According to him, you cannot reach one, without the other!

And yes... Its 99% about copulating and populating; where humans ended up enjoying it. Then we, society, created a bunch of rules and businesses around it, and are busy sucking the fun outta of it ever since. While making one gender or another feel shame and guilt about it.

 

[Lunaseraphim]

Such mental gymnastics to talk about discomfort around the simple fact that some women enjoy wearing skirts when it's warm outside. I'll get back to the 21st century now

 

[minutemenX]

Do you not look at yourself in the mirror sometimes and love yourself or your outfit? Like not ever, at all? Do men really not find self worth in anything but getting laid and being attractive to other people? If nobody desires you, what's your value as a person? If you're the only person liking your legs does it still count? Why does someone's value rely on other people's desire in your mind?

When I dress for myself (at home), I wear old torn sweatpants, t-shirt and sleepers that deserve to be put in a garbage bin long time ago. I would also prefer not to shave. When I must from time to time wear a formal dressing for public events it is like a torture to me. I do careful grooming and some minimal dressing when expecting to see an SP as a sign of respect.

 

[Julia Sky]

When I dress for myself (at home), I wear old torn sweatpants, t-shirt and sleepers that deserve to be put in a garbage bin long time ago. I would also prefer not to shave. When I must from time to time wear a formal dressing for public events it is like a torture to me. I do careful grooming and some minimal dressing when expecting to see an SP as a sign of respect.

Well, good thing people in general are not modeled after you specifically. Personally, the same way I dress for myself above all else, I also groom for my own comfort. Being unkempt makes me physically and mentally uncomfortable so I do it out of respect for myself and don't wait for an occasion like "about to get laid" lol. I'm about as puzzled by this way of thinking as you were by the idea that Lena likes her own legs.

 

[Lunaseraphim]

Well, good thing people in general are not modeled after you specifically. Personally, the same way I dress for myself above all else, I also groom for my own comfort. Being unkempt makes me physically and mentally uncomfortable so I do it out of respect for myself and don't wait for an occasion like "about to get laid" lol. I'm about as puzzled by this way of thinking as you were by the idea that Lena likes her own legs.

That's how I feel about it too. I like wearing nice clothes just because I enjoy fashion. Whether I'm wearing baggy jeans or a shirt skirt, what I hope to show off is how stylish I am..

By the way men don't whistle at women or cat call them because they are trying to flirt due to "seeing a sexual stimuli". They do it because they know it'll make us feel uncomfortable, it's a power move. You could be a teenager wearing a school uniform and even that is sexualized so you'll get cat called anyways.

As a woman there's a possibility of getting followed or cat called or receiving lewd comments no matter what you're wearing, so might as well wear what you want.

 

[Verbal Kint]

The adorable behaviours of some claiming inclusion, wanting to talk, and immediatly dismiss said debate or discussion with pre-written easy to throw statement for lack of maturity, denial and or content to input.

The subtle art of not giving a fuck.
Great read...

 

[minutemenX]

The subtle art of not giving a fuck.

Is to dress to your own comfort and have self value sized to your own measures where looks are like in 7-th place

 

[Vardhan945]

[This is going to be off-brand for an escort review board, but I have nowhere/no one else to ask except ChatGPT, so here we go]

Today is the first day of the year with Summer-like weather and I went shopping downtown. I noticed, like last year, a lot of young women–some with their boyfriends–wearing  very revealing clothing. The amount of skin showing seems to be increasing every year. I personally do not enjoy the feelings that come with encountering this type of stimulus, and always having to "look elsewhere" when I am simply out and about. Despite my basic knowledge in psychology, I also don't understand why women dress like this when they are already partnered (i.e holding hands with a man). What is going on, and I am alone as a young(ish) man who would prefer not be distracted by very visible sexual stimuli in public? I can assure you this is 100% honest and not trolling and I am curious to see if I can find at least a modicum of understanding/clarification of the situation. Thank you.

Not sure why your question irritated so many people here...I can see what youre saying.

Seeing scantily clad women doesnt prevent me from enjoying myself and going about my business (and I don't think it does for you either contrary to everyone's hostile responses) but I do question the psychology at play.

perhaps they find it liberating and theyre doing it 100% for themselves..

or maybe getting the looks from men in general is a type of intersexual competition women have with each other.

I know guys (who aren't misogynistic and have no trouble with women at all) who are really into fitness and prefer to go to less commercial gyms where they're less likely to run into "thirst traps"


Luna - im well aware not everything women do is for men...but I can tell you I know some women (incl an ex of mine) who stayed in shape so she could wear bikinis or short shorts without feeling self conscious....meaning clearly there was a subconscious pressure to dress more revealing.

 

[Lunaseraphim]

Not sure why your question irritated so many people here...I can see what youre saying.

Seeing scantily clad women doesnt prevent me from enjoying myself and going about my business (and I don't think it does for you either contrary to everyone's hostile responses) but I do question the psychology at play.

perhaps they find it liberating and theyre doing it 100% for themselves..

or maybe getting the looks from men in general is a type of intersexual competition women have with each other.

I know guys (who aren't misogynistic and have no trouble with women at all) who are really into fitness and prefer to go to less commercial gyms where they're less likely to run into "thirst traps"


Luna - im well aware not everything women do is for men...but I can tell you I know some women (incl an ex of mine) who stayed in shape so she could wear bikinis or short shorts without feeling self conscious....meaning clearly there was a subconscious pressure to dress more revealing.

The pressure isn't to dress more revealing, it's to "look attractive" meaning staying thin and fit and youthful. When it's hot outside it's nice to wear shorts. When you go swimming you wear a bathing suit. But if you don't correspond to beauty standards people can judge you. A lot of women feel they have to hide their bodies because they don't like themselves.

I'm sure some women dress in provocative ways to attract men's looks, I just know this isn't the case for most women I know.

It's not a thirst trap for a woman to be wearing something you think is sexy or revealing.. she's just choosing to dress that way for whatever reason which is none of your business. You're not entitled to sexual entertainment or attention from a woman just because she's wearing shorts or a little skirt.

A lot of women enjoy being sexy for themselves. It makes them feel good to be attractive and to have control over their image. There is a lot of power in choosing the type of clothing you want to wear despite what others might think. That doesn't mean they are "up for grabs"

 

[Michelle Gunn]

I don't quite understand why it causes you distress to be attracted to beautiful women, but have you considered the "reverse snowbird"?
Instead of spending winters in Florida, you could try summers somewhere where the snow never melts and people stay covered in many layers of clothing at all times.

 

[AnthonyAnderson]

Not sure why your question irritated so many people here...I can see what youre saying.

I sort of telegraphed it in the intro of my post. It's a question that involves sensitive social issues, and this is far from a neutral audience. From a theoritical standpoint, some fundamental understanding of human nature is needed before considering social aspects relevant to the question asked. Nevertheless, I did get some useful insight that allowed some self-reflection.

Also, let's face it, "people who hang out on escort review boards" are not a representative sample of the whole population, and we're far from being the most well-adjusted, myself included. I hope everyone has the minimum of self-awareness needed to realize this.

 

[AnthonyAnderson]

I'm curious about how you dress in public? What are the parameters which govern your choices for attire. Do you want to stand out, blend in, identify with a group, what's the story your telling? What messaging do you think others are receiving. Do you think the care? Do you think they judge? Do you think they make inferences.

Contrary to others who have claimed, somewhat implausibly, in this thread, that their choice of dress is strictly "for themselves" and that they disregard others' opinion of it, I would say that I dress to project an image of professionalism and competence.

 

[LeDodo]

Contrary to others who have claimed, somewhat implausibly, in this thread, that their choice of dress is strictly "for themselves" and that they disregard others' opinion of it, I would say that I dress to project an image of professionalism and competence.

Why implausible?

Apart from work requirements whenever I can I do dress like I want.

Over the span of 20 years of working in the corporate world I went from wearing a suit every single day to now wearing casual clothes every time I am in the office. Of course I am allowed now because the current office work culture allows it. I do suit up when visiting clients who are still (un)-fortunately huge corporations with expected business attire or expectations to look professional.
Like the other day I was having dinner with colleagues from my previous company. Their first comment was like "oh you look younger". When asked why saying this, they say it was about my attire because previously the culture was that wearing a suit makes you work better (and for me looking older hence more credible) ...

 

[AnthonyAnderson]

Why implausible?

Apart from work requirements whenever I can I do dress like I want

The question is not whether you can dress the way you want or not, but rather whether the way you chose to dress is at least in part influenced by the image you want to project. The answer is yes, and that comes from the human drive to signal your belonging to a group.

 

[EastWind]

Society has evolved and morphed on its own drummer and Merb is surely reflecting this. Such topics as this back say in the early to mid 2000s would be just discussions and pics. Now? He gets lectured with over analyzed Tai Lopez type word salad.

AnthonyAnderson. You will one day reach a point where you will be immune to physical beauty. This hobby will get you there very quickly.

 

[LeDodo]

The question is not whether you can dress the way you want or not, but rather whether the way you chose to dress is at least in part influenced by the image you want to project. The answer is yes, and that comes from the human drive to signal your belonging to a group.

While I don't deny the fact people want to project an image by the way they are dressing.

At least for me and surely for many other people in the discussion, I really choose to dress for myself and I am not looking to signal anything apart that I just want to look good for myself

And as I mentioned earlier, the case where I will fit into that image projection trait is when I'm obliged by work.

 

[Fradi]

Do you not look at yourself in the mirror sometimes and love yourself or your outfit? Like not ever, at all? Do men really not find self worth in anything but getting laid and being attractive to other people? If nobody desires you, what's your value as a person? If you're the only person liking your legs does it still count? Why does someone's value rely on other people's desire in your mind?

I would much rather look at you than myself in the mirror, you have much better ass ets.
Having said that yes in my younger days I think I looked pretty damn good and had no trouble attracting women ever.

I don’t think most men are as concerned though with their looks as women are, if they were they would take 90 minutes to get ready and apply make up also.
Yeah we do think about getting laid often though, we do have 2 sets of brains and it is a constant struggle for who wins which of course you know by now, otherwise we wouldn’t be here lol.

 

[Vardhan945]

Society has evolved and morphed on its own drummer and Merb is surely reflecting this. Such topics as this back say in the early to mid 2000s would be just discussions and pics. Now? He gets lectured with over analyzed Tai Lopez type word salad.

AnthonyAnderson. You will one day reach a point where you will be immune to physical beauty. This hobby will get you there very quickly.

How does this "hobby" make you "immune to physical beauty" ??

its one of most peoples criteria in choosing who they see lmao

 

[Fradi]

. You're not entitled to sexual entertainment or attention from a woman just because she's wearing shorts or a little skirt.

Actually I am.
They are my egyes and my thoughts and I get to decide what is sexually entertaining to me and what isn’t. What I am not entitled to is any type of reaction from her.
Now lie to me and tell me that you have never seen an amazingly sexy guy and thought to yourself I will suck his dick for free if he asks me out or an attractive girl for that matter. Yes the way people dress can have an impact on whether or not someone finds them attractive or not at the time.

 

[crinolynne]

Contrary to others who have claimed, somewhat implausibly, in this thread, that their choice of dress is strictly "for themselves" and that they disregard others' opinion of it, I would say that I dress to project an image of professionalism and competence.

Professionalism? In what capacity? Speaking as a fish out of water, why, what's the purpose. And competence? Explain how attire might express competence, especially when it would seem that the fish is out of water. Context and perspective.