Alex Cooper controversy opinions

[Hmmm…]

There has been some recent discussion here on merb on the change in the scene recently with fewer new girls. I don't think only OF explains things.

Alex Cooper built a media empire off Call Her Daddy, a podcast massive with college-aged girls and young women. She signed a $60M deal with Spotify and then a $125M deal with SiriusXM. With her podcast, she essentially rebranded hookup culture as "girl-boss" empowerment, teaching her fans to view dating as a game where you manipulate men for clout and money before they can use you. She was so popular that Kamala Harris did her show when she was running, but not Joe Rogan.

Lately, she’s facing huge hypocrisy backlash because she just married a rich Hollywood executive and announced her pregnancy, securing the exact traditional "white picket fence" life she told her fans to avoid.

But sociologically, her hyper-transactional advice might actually explain why fewer young women are entering formal escorting. By normalizing the idea that regular dating should be a financial transaction, she blurred the line between romance and sex work. Now, girls who want their rent paid or luxury trips don’t need to face the massive stigma or legal risks of becoming a formal escort. They can just download Tinder or Hinge, match with a doctor, lawyer, entrepreneur, tech or finance bro, aka a "high-value man" and extract those same material goods under the socially acceptable label of "dating a generous guy." How many have seen influencers argue that first date should not be coffee or a walk by the river but instead at a steak dinner and if you don't tip 20%+, then you are marked. All the fantasies of being an escort so that you can being taken to fancy dinners, party on a yacht in Miami or flown to trips in Italy are already being done informally. Also, now since wealthy men now have an endless supply of regular women down for these arrangements, demand for actual escorts drops, too.

Do you think the normalization of transactional hookup culture has replaced traditional avenues of sex work like escorting?

 

[mtlspacial]

There has been some recent discussion here on merb on the change in the scene recently with fewer new girls. I don't think only OF explains things.

Alex Cooper built a media empire off Call Her Daddy, a podcast massive with college-aged girls and young women. She signed a $60M deal with Spotify and then a $125M deal with SiriusXM. With her podcast, she essentially rebranded hookup culture as "girl-boss" empowerment, teaching her fans to view dating as a game where you manipulate men for clout and money before they can use you. She was so popular that Kamala Harris did her show when she was running, but not Joe Rogan.

Lately, she’s facing huge hypocrisy backlash because she just married a rich Hollywood executive and announced her pregnancy, securing the exact traditional "white picket fence" life she told her fans to avoid.

But sociologically, her hyper-transactional advice might actually explain why fewer young women are entering formal escorting. By normalizing the idea that regular dating should be a financial transaction, she blurred the line between romance and sex work. Now, girls who want their rent paid or luxury trips don’t need to face the massive stigma or legal risks of becoming a formal escort. They can just download Tinder or Hinge, match with a doctor, lawyer, entrepreneur, tech or finance bro, aka a "high-value man" and extract those same material goods under the socially acceptable label of "dating a generous guy." How many have seen influencers argue that first date should not be coffee or a walk by the river but instead at a steak dinner and if you don't tip 20%+, then you are marked. All the fantasies of being an escort so that you can being taken to fancy dinners, party on a yacht in Miami or flown to trips in Italy are already being done informally. Also, now since wealthy men now have an endless supply of regular women down for these arrangements, demand for actual escorts drops, too.

Do you think the normalization of transactional hookup culture has replaced traditional avenues of sex work like escorting?

 

[AnthonyAnderson]

Very, very interesting angle. I've always said that I didn't think OnlyFans was a significant factor in the shifts we have observed in the industry, and you highlight a deeper sociological shift that may be at play. (You should rename the thread to something more specific/relevant to get the conversation going.)

 

[AnthonyAnderson]

This whole idea that proliferated in recent years than "men are useless" has ended up hurting both men and women greatly. Many men have felt marginalized/unneeded, often retreating into unhealthy behaviors/addictions, which has paradoxically left a pool of women seeking relationships unable to find a suitable mate, so many of them having simply given up. Hypergamy (women "dating up") has always been a fact of life, but now we are dealing with hyper-hypergamy.... My argument is that modern feminism has contributed to the creation of an environment that is hostile to the formation of healthy relationships for the average, and below average–let's not forget them–person.

 

[AnthonyAnderson]

Do you think the normalization of transactional hookup culture has replaced traditional avenues of sex work like escorting?

You have a topic for a PhD thesis in sociology, and I'm not joking, with this post.

 

[AnthonyAnderson]

Do you guys realize how niche this is compared to manosphere type stuff, and how this discourse is aimed particularly at very privileged women only?

It may be aimed at more privileged women, but it percolates down to the rest of society through podcasts etc.

The manospehere emerged in reaction to the excesses of modern feminism when some men realized that they were being marginalized. I am not going to argue that this sphere contributes to a culture of healthy relationships either.

 

[mtlspacial]

Do you guys realize how niche this is compared to manosphere type stuff, and how this discourse is aimed particularly at very privileged women only?

This is just so disconnected from reality lol .....

The problem is that perceptions are now unduly influenced and formed by whoever has the biggest fan base, whether in the manosphere or elsewhere. So, it becomes hard to figure out if something is true in general sense, anecdotal, or just niche (as you said).

 

[Lunaseraphim]

....

I can't really participate in this conversation, because I don't think anyone will listen in good faith.

 

[Julia Sky]

....

I can't really participate in this conversation, because I don't think anyone will listen in good faith.

My exact thoughts. I have many things to say and they will remain left unsaid. Looool

 

[AnthonyAnderson]

My exact thoughts. I have many things to say and they will remain left unsaid. Looool

I grew up in an era where debate, even if sometimes vigourous, was encouraged. It's one of the foundations of democracy. It's too bad we now often prefer to retreat in our own ideological spheres.

 

[Georgy07]

I really dont understand why money has become such a big deal in relationship recently. Its so Weird.

 

[Lunaseraphim]

I grew up in an era where debate, even if sometimes vigourous, was encouraged. It's one of the foundations of democracy. It's too bad we now often prefer to retreat in our own ideological spheres.

If I retreat to what I don't believe is an ideological sphere, but in my head with all of my personal experiences and the memories of my friends, family members and acquaintances as well, it's because i don't want to expose myself to more humiliation and insults.. even now you reduced what you assume to be my opinion to merely an ideology, which is what a lot of people have been doing here whenever we bring something up they don't agree with.. it just gets old. I never came from an ideological point of view when I shared my opinions here. They are often informed by my experiences, and the experiences of a lot of people I know. That's very different.

 

[Lunaseraphim]

I really dont understand why money has become such a big deal in relationship recently. Its so Weird

It's not anymore of a big deal than it ever was.. it's just that people who have unhealthy ideas about relationships can become influencers now. Also, we are in an economic crisis, so these influencers are all obsessed with wealth and trying to sell snake oil..

People can't really be speculating about "dating nowadays" if they aren't actually dating, and consuming bullshit media that isn't representative of reality..

 

[Georgy07]

It's not anymore of a big deal than it ever was.. it's just that people who have unhealthy ideas about relationships can become influencers now. Also, we are in an economic crisis, so these influencers are all obsessed with wealth and trying to sell snake oil..

People can't really be speculating about "dating nowadays" if they aren't actually dating, and consuming bullshit media that isn't representative of reality..

I have been dating a lot recently and this money stuff comes back all the time. It's just very weird. Shit like : ''A real man will pay for his woman's bills''

 

[Fradi]

I have been dating a lot recently and this money stuff comes back all the time. It's just very weird. Shit like : ''A real man will pay for his woman's bills''

A real woman will make sure she has lots of bills to pay for.

 

[AnthonyAnderson]

If I retreat to what I don't believe is an ideological sphere, but in my head with all of my personal experiences and the memories of my friends, family members and acquaintances as well, it's because i don't want to expose myself to more humiliation and insults.. even now you reduced what you assume to be my opinion to merely an ideology, which is what a lot of people have been doing here whenever we bring something up they don't agree with.. it just gets old. I never came from an ideological point of view when I shared my opinions here. They are often informed by my experiences, and the experiences of a lot of people I know. That's very different.

In all due respect, I was not replying to you. Humiliation and insults? Certainly not from me. All ideologies are subject to criticism and debate. They shape our lives, like our personal experiences do.

 

[mtlspacial]

Keeping in mind I haven't been dating for about 20 years, I’m still observant of how it has evolved.

Dating has shifted from organic, location-based meets to a highly digital, algorithm-driven landscape.

Finding a partner previously relied on shared social circles and local community spaces (i.e., work, bars, and schools). You met partners with face-to-face introductions, and this carried immediate social accountability. The screening was more thorough as you usually knew the person, since you met them at work, or they attended your classes, or, best of all, were introduced by friends or acquaintances.

Today's experience is defined by endless choices, digital screening, and casual "talking." And it's now true, for women especially, that this can bring higher emotional and physical risks. On the other side, genuine guys in real life can't compete in the sea of other guys in the swiping game. Lots of unsuitable partners seem to come out on top.

It obviously creates frustration on both ends.

The argument that more women are dating for financial advantage is hard to quantify. But, it could be true in some cases, or possibly more prevalent in certain cities.

I won't argue it doesn't help to have wealth when attracting partners. However, keep in mind potential partners may often see that wealth as security and stability rather than a resource to acquire.

I stand to be corrected, but I suppose the last thing most women want is to take on an extra burden by dating someone who can't pull his weight financially and doesn't have anything to contribute.

 

[Lunaseraphim]

In all due respect, I was not replying to you. Humiliation and insults? Certainly not from me. All ideologies are subject to criticism and debate. They shape our lives, like our personal experiences do.

I didn't say the insults and humiliation ever came from you, but you saw that it happens with other people during these types of conversations, very often.
I think that more often than not it's more our lives and personal experiences that shape our view of the world, and not the other way around...

If I talk about my personal experiences related to dating, I will be told off, so I'm not going to do that.

 

[rightime1]

....

I can't really participate in this conversation, because I don't think anyone will listen in good faith.

i will

 

[Lunaseraphim]

So here are my thoughts on dating apps after using them on and off since 2016. Dating apps are predatory, and they are not meant for ''dating'', they are just marketed that way but initially an app like Tinder was just made for hookups. It was supposed to advantage young men in their 30's who were too busy to date and wanted a quick connection, initially. I've studied this carefully before. Not everyone sees the same matches, the apps themselves are discriminatory and don't show you all potential matches. On top of this, nowadays, you need to pay to see who likes you and to see more people on the apps.

I think it's easy to say that ''women have all the choice while men are discriminated against'', because what happens is that women are more at risk of being date raped or meeting somebody who turns out to be an abuser.. Dating apps are relatively recent so we don't have a lot of research on how it affected relationships, but all I know is that most men I know have had bad luck with dating apps, and most women I know have had terrible and even traumatic experiences with them. Women are more scared and lukewarm which doesn't lead to genuine connection probably, and men tend to like every profile they see until they get a match, which doesn't feel intentional.

Dating apps are kind of addictive because they give you an illusion of choice, and at the same time you have a limited amount of profiles that you can see, so it can make you feel trapped. People just don't use them seriously, and in my experience most people don't really know what they want when they are using them. This leads to situations that are uncomfortable, like someone only being interested in sex and just stringing you along and pretending they like you. I think it's true that it's easier for women to find sexual partners, but will these experiences be positive or lead to a relationship or even a friendship? Usually, no..

As for the money aspect, I think social media creates all kinds of sensationalized headlines and there are tons of influencers with bad intentions who gain massive popularity, we shouldn't downplay this.. but there's just so many different discourses right now that it would be weird to say that it's this specific person's bs who is affecting young people the most. I am trying to weigh my words here.. but I am a lot more scared of other dangerous stuff I see online that lead to actual violence. I definitely think this is all part of a cluster of social issues that is confusing people nowadays.

I keep hearing ''it's more expensive to have a girlfriend than to hire a provider consistently over the years'' and I'm like.. in what world do you live in? lol. I've never had a partner who paid anything for me, except for the occasional cheap resto. In fact it's often been me who was more generous. I also don't really see that pattern in the heterosexual relationships I see around me.. I don't see anybody who has everything paid by their husband or boyfriend lol this is a fantasy.

I definitely think that when you are over a certain age, financial stability is important in a partner particularly if you want to build a future with the person. But wealth isn't really necessary in my opinion. This is just me but I'd personally rather make my own money than depend on someone else, financial imbalances in a couple can create issues specially combined with other problems.. I'm sure there are women looking for rich husbands out there but I just don't think that is the norm. I think these discussions based on cliche and sensationalist online stuff are kind of absurd, even tho it is interesting to check out the bullshit that is being fed to younger ppl nowadays.

But honestly in this economy would I blame somebody for wanting to find a wealthy partner to secure their future? Not really... We live in tough times.. but this is a way of doing things that is really old fashioned and usually the other party is well aware of the nature of this relationship. It takes 2 people to create a transactional relationship in my opinion, not just one. I've refused invitations to dinner dates in my civilian life before, because I didn't want to owe the person anything, and I could sense there were expectations behind it.. maybe another woman would have accepted and played the game, idk