Trolls aside, thanks to everyone else. I appreciate you guys reading and responding.
It's been a huge help in processing what happened. Sharing it and getting feedback is helping me put things into perspective.
It was hard for me to realize how fucked up and dangerous the situation was while I was mixed up in it because I couldn't tell anyone in my "Daytime" life so I had nobody to talk sense into me or tell me " hey man that's fucked up"
More importantly it's helping me turn away from a potentially very dark path. Thanks guys I'm grateful.