I can use the ol' hand any time. Why would I do the same when with someone else?
Letting the lady do it means she can also control where everything lands, which is better for her in many cases.
If you look at the anus in isolation (completely zoomed in, excluding the surrounding genitals), it is almost impossible to tell the difference between a man and a woman.
Can';t imagine this one even being a point of debate or discussion - sex workers are just people like anyone else. They're in an unusual line of work, but not one that is more or less immoral than, say, a business man.
This kind of place is most definitely not representative, and is probably one of the worst places to derive a sense of this kind of thing. It's not for nothing that the guys who are here are here.
etc...