We all have fantasies. They makes you smile when you think about them, and they wake up some very funny feelings when they happen, some type of short term happiness. What's a fantasy? In simple terms, it's a hope that something can happen, something you look forward to. Some fantasies are realistic (ex: make love to 2 women at the same time), others are impossible (ex: make love to Jessica Beal - What a babe!), and most are in between.
You definitely know when a physical fantasy was fulfilled, but the problem is when it's based on feelings or something that can't be empirically "verified". You then have no definitive confirmation that what you hoped for is for real or not. And then the delusion is when you thought a fantasy had become real, and you realize it was in fact just that: a fantasy. Depending on a number of factors, it may be a trivial thing, or it may hurt. Some will then fall into obsession, when they still don't want to believe it was just a fantasy, and they keep trying to make it real. If it reaches this point, consultation is required.
Example of a fantasy: Hoping that the special moments you spend with someone can develop in something more important after knowing each other, an affair or a friendship, or more simply that you are somewhat "special" to someone. Some high-end SPs are real good at making this happen (and some dumbass clients with unexperienced SPs
). That's how some SPs earn a living (or for clients to earn freebies).
The ensuing delusion: Continuing with my example, you realize the friendship or that "special" aspect of your relation you thought existed is only one way. You realize that whenever you meet there's still always money involved (SP) and/or you always have to initiate contact and never get return calls unless the other person is in need of something. It may take a long time before the delusion happens, because you just want to believe in your fantasy and don't want to see it's fake.
Then, the obsession: You keep calling or trying to get together with that person, over and over, despite the obvious lack of genuine interest from him or her. You desperately want to be the friend or special person you always thought you were, and you keep on trying, and trying, and trying.... It's still part of the delusion, but brought to a higher level (or I should say a lower level).
Finally, the acceptation: Either alone or with some psychological help, you finally realize this whole thing was just a fantasy and you move on. Depending on how deeply involved they were, some individuals will take years to move on, while other will require a very short period of time.
The example I outlined above is probably one of the most common fantasy/delusion happening in this hobby. Many guys suffered from it, and it will continue to happen. And it's not happening only in the SP world: People are going through these states in many situations, as couples, marriages(!), with their jobs, etc. Gamblers also falls in the same kind of pattern.
Solution: Keep a cold head. Be skeptical. Never assume or take anything for granted. KNOW THE SIGNS so that you can identify what's happening. Sadly, for some people the fear of living through another delusion may also kill the potential of living through any kind of romance or true friendship. You get burned only so many times.
Fantasy, Addiction, Delusion, Obsession. It's all different states of the same thing. The first is healthy, more than that it's a problem.
My 2 uninformed cents
Gentle
