Does this kind of approach exist?

[Micka]

Hi,

I had a somewhat specific question and was curious to get your thoughts...

From what I've read, I have a feeling this forum is probably not the ideal place to ask this kind of question... but I'm not entirely sure where else to ask, so here we go.

I'm a queer man, happily married and with the same partner (AMAB non-binary) for over 20 years. We've recently opened our relationship to sex workers. I'm sexually attracted to women but still have limited experience, and some past experiences have left me feeling a bit fragile in that area. Today, I'd like to explore this in a calm, respectful, and pressure free environment. I'm naturally curious, with a genuine desire to explore both in conversation and in sensation, but always at my own pace, within a space of trust.

I'm wondering if there are people who favor a softer, more attentive (pedagogical?) approach, someone with whom it's possible to take time, build a connection, and let things develop gradually, with a sense of ease and complicity. I'm also open to exploring certain kinks. I'm not looking for something rushed, but rather an experience where the quality of the connection, attention to detail, and shared comfort really matter.

If anyone has come across this kind of approach or has suggestions, I'd really appreciate hearing about it.

 

[Micka]

I completely understand that being willing to pay means there will be providers available. What I'm really trying to understand is whether this kind of dynamic exists, and how to find the right person for it. Someone whose natural approach aligns with what I'm looking for, rather than expecting anyone to adapt outside of their preferred way of working. To be fully transparent, I did try something similar this summer. Even though I did my best to communicate clearly, I think it simply wasn't the right match. Which, in hindsight, highlighted how important mutual compatibility and comfort are on both sides. I'm just trying to approach this more thoughtfully this time, with a better understanding of how things can work.

 

[AnthonyAnderson]

how to find the right person for it.

Tryst.link
Read profiles and look at pictures. Contact those who interest you and explain your current situation (like you did here) to see if they would be a good fit.

We have a few indies who post here, too. One may be a good fit.

 

[kstanb]

if you are willing to pay for longer sessions, at indy rates; and you are willing to go through their screening process, you will get what you are looking for easily

 

[LC18]

I have a few names that come to mind when I read your initial post so yes, it’s totally possible to find someone like that. Some people that can make you forget the context in which you have met and just focus on take time and guiding you

 

[Micka]

I have a few names that come to mind when I read your initial post so yes, it’s totally possible to find someone like that. Some people that can make you forget the context in which you have met and just focus on take time and guiding you

I’d really appreciate any recommendations you’d be open to sharing.

 

[Michelle Gunn]

I think you'll find that there are many of us here and various other places

Montreal Indy Companion

www.indycompanion.com