Guidance For The Perplexed

[starry]

Have a friend (former client) who recently started living with a lady who left the SP business to be with him. He is in his mid fifties and he is a successful equity and fixed income trader who is rolling in money. The lady is in her mid thirties.
She is not only attractive but has a great personality. She is a master of the GFE, so much so that in her 14 year career a number of clients have made fools of themselves falling head over heels in love with her. The agency actually had to call the cops about a guy, a successful lawyer, who began stalking her. Oddly, another guy was desperate to have a child with her and had a contract drawn up offering very generous and guaranteed support payments. She declined.
Anyway to be with her my friend moved from Toronto and started working in his firm's Montreal trading room. He bought a big apartment in a golden square mile landmark building on Sherbrooke. They have lived together now for about eight months. He makes her whole for lost revenue and she benefits from his higher end lifestyle. She claims to be happy.
Before taking the plunge he asked my advice. One of the nice things about this and other adult boards is that they sometimes contain a wealth of information on local working girls, including the lady in question. Something I noticed was a merbite's comment in a review where she told him that she left one work location for another because the clients in the place she left were older and therefore "too soft". She wanted younger and harder guys. So I told him to watch out because she might have trouble transitioning to a one on one "civilian" relationship. The risk was that she might miss having great sex with mutiple partners just to hang with him.
Sure enuf she has recently asked if he would mind terribly if she went back to work one day a week. He is not keen on the idea but has asked again for my advice and I know she's got a hold on him.
Any ideas on what I might say to him?

 

[BigBrowser]

It seems, from what you are saying and how you are describing the situation, that he doesn't know her that well.
My advice to him would be "whatever decision you make, be sure to be comfortable with it and accept the potential consequences - 'cause there will be"

 

[ssj3]

If he's as wealthy as you say he is, she has no need to work once a week for monetary purposes. This would probably mean that she is just with him for the money or she's not satisfied with him sexually. Either way, he probably needs to cut his losses and break it off before it becomes a bigger problem.

 

[2fast2slow]

poor guy, life is rough...obviously rich with his big apartment in the golden sq mile, got to live with a very desirable woman for a while...how will he recover?? Can you detect the sarcasm?? lol

 

[Halloween Mike]

She has been an SP for 14 years? And want to go back at it despite having more than enough money from the guy...

Well she may be one that love the job really... especially on what you say about younger clients. If she don't work again, she will very well fuck other studs behind his back anyway im sure...

Thats only a guess from what you describe.

 

[Numerati]

Seen this and heard this kind of arrangement many times. It is going to be a train wreck waiting to happen.

I know because this almost happened to me when I first jumped into this hobby and didn't know better. Luckily I snapped out of this very fast.

As Admiral Akbar would say.... It''s a trap!

 

[Numerati]

As usual this setup goes she is far more psychologically superior than he is. This woman is going to mentally and emotionally grind him down. ****facepalm****

Doesn't this guy know that you can't turn a whore into a housewife? Women like this you rent and not buy. Too bad so sad.

Him asking this question is indicating he has rolled himself into a trap of his own doing.

 

[UncleBob]

So, I guess she does not want to go back to escorting for the money !?
Or maybe she's not confortable with the fact that this man pay her for all she needs or she's not confortable to ask him for money to buy some particular stuff...

I believe that if she wants to escort for more sex, then it is a good thing she gets payed for it...
I think it might be more "acceptable" for him if she gets paid than if she goes in a bar to pick up random guy to get laid for free without telling...
Then, after "work", she comes back home with her man. The one she choosen as her life companion...

 

[Halloween Mike]

Seen this and heard this kind of arrangement many times. It is going to be a train wreck waiting to happen.

I know because this almost happened to me when I first jumped into this hobby and didn't know better. Luckily I snapped out of this very fast.

As Admiral Akbar would say.... It''s a trap!

But for how long? There is a very popular SP that hooked up with a billionaire in 2014. I know this lady well enough to know she could not live normally with a 9 to 5 job. He pays for everything for her but if they would break up, im sure she would be back to escorting. But since 2014.... heard nothing else. Looks like they are still together and happy.

 

[starry]

To answer Patron, they are not married. He says that in Quebec unlike the other provinces people living together remain separate as to property. Is he correct? Idk.

 

[jalimon]

To answer Patron, they are not married. He says that in Quebec unlike the other provinces people living together remain separate as to property. Is he correct? Idk.

True much lower % of couples marry in Quebec. They are known as "conjoint de fait". As such if your name is not on the property you have no rights over it. And the same for other material and you cannot inherit if one dies. Of course many other arrangement (testament for example) can bypass that.

Cheers,

 

[starry]

I think I agree. This lady always said that she was in the biz just for the money and maybe that influenced his decision to take up with her, but I always got the impression that there was more to it than that. I'm sure she would not even have started if the money was not much better than other jobs she might do, but the personal freedom she had working when she wanted to, not having a boss etc and having a good income I think all equally appealed to her. I saw her a few times myself back in the days and my impression was that she really enjoyed giving pleasure. That seemed to be very important to her and I doubt that securing a good client base was the only reason. I'm not a psychologist but possibly she has a strong need to feel loved and appreciated. Possible? Idk. I had no chemistry with her myself but you could see that she was trying everything in her bag of tricks and was genuinely disappointed and puzzled that she couldn't figure me out. I also suspect that she likes sex alot (tho I was unable to do much for her myself), and at 35ish she is experiencing the peek of female sexual desire whereas Alan has probably been on the decline for decades.
While the encounters are limited in duration and scope, when they are successful they offer some of the best that male/female relations have to offer and without the traumas, difficulties and unhappiness that can also accompany "normal" relationships. I think for her it was very rewarding to be able to experience that good part with her clients and that is what she probably most liked about her job because she would not now be going back to it just for the money, they have plenty.
Oh almost forgot to mention, she is a serious person and a mature adult, not at all a party girl or into drugs or anything like that. But I think she misses her friends in the biz a lot, both clients and co-workers.

 

[cloudsurf]

Does she read Merb....what does she think of you talking about her ?

 

[starry]

I thought about that. I'm pretty sure that she does not read the different boards. On the other hand I suspect that at least some of her (former) clients do since as mentioned she has been reviewed from time to time here and on two other sites since 2004 to my knowledge.

 

[starry]

I don't think he has provided for her cradle to grave but he says that he has fully covered her foregone revenues. That money belongs to her. He also gave her one of his cars, a new six cylinder Audi sport. They took an expensive trip last March and of course he paid everything. He can afford it. These guys work mostly for bonus. I don't know what his bonus is but for sure it is seven figures per annum. I don't think she is worried about money. Working occasionally is not going to make a big difference.

 

[starry]

Patron you are obviously an experienced guy. She is mid thirties but looks maybe 28 (she is Asian). She was an athlete back in China and I'm sure her body is the same as it was when she started working (I said 14 years but on reflection probably 13 years ago) because it cant look any better. But you are right. She has said more than once that she worries alot what will happen as she grows older.
She is university trained but her credentials were not recognized here in Quebec. One reason she needed money.

 

[heliragedeleted]

At least she was honest enough to ask for his ok. I suspect that a refusal will eventually lead to separation. He has some deep choices to make because I'm relatively sure she fulfills all of his emotional desires.
Starry, a follow up on this situation will be most interesting.

 

[cg123]

A while ago now I was in a similar circumstance to this man. I met a girl who made my heart go crazy and my mind too, I remember having a beaming smile one day as I couldn't wait to get home to her just to be with her.
She was an escort who (thought she) wanted out of the biz, and we gave it a go to try and have a more conventional life together, you might say.

As time went on though it was clear that having a more normal life, putting down the consistent effort at school and being judged/criticized on her output by her professors was not going to work.

I'd like to say it ended well, but we never speak anymore. My heart couldn't take it anyway.

I don't know the exact details of the situation in the OP but it sounds eerily familiar.


I would offer caution to anyone thinking of getting into a relationship with anyone they meet in this business, I would say there is a much greater chance of failure and loss than there is in a more conventional coupling. Some birds aren't meant to be caged.

 

[starry]

Thanks for the comments. I told my friend to continue in this relationship only if at the end of the day he was completely comfortable with the lady seeing other gentlemen from time to time. Maybe he doesn't care. I remember him saying that her having been a naughty girl actually enhanced her appeal to him.
On the other hand if he was expecting her to change going forward I said he should end it. As someone said you can't turn a whore into a housewife. Some escorts don't really like the life but others thrive on the sex and the social interaction with clients and coworkers. After screwing thousands of guys, many of them probably good in the sack, I have a hard time seeing her settling for a middle age man whose libido is probably on the decline, especially now that she is at her peak. In her case its even more problemmatic because its not just receiving pleasure that she enjoys but giving it also is very important to her. Her intimacy with clients is genuine and thats what makes her a great SW. So he would have to accept not only her getting laid when he's not up to it but sharing herself with others emotionally in a way no different than with him (though she would dispute that because she insists that her relationship with him is not the same in terms of involvement even with her best long standing clients). Thats a tall order imo. I suspect 13 or 14 years in the business has an influence on how you think and who you are, same as any profession does.