What I learned at Jewish General

[Red Paul]

Eating crusty bread doesn't make any difference when it comes to catching STDs. A couple years back I read here on Merb that eating food that abrades the interior of the mouth -- rice cakes, bread with a hard crust, etc. -- can create fissures that make it easier for a virus to reach the blood stream. Well, no, apparently not. The doctor seemed to think that was the nuttiest idea to come his way in quite a while. So if you just ate a baguette, you can go down on an escort and not worry. Or at least you don't have to worry more than than if you hadn't had the baguette.

What else? Well, I learned that you can walk in at JewGen and get tested for syphillis, gonorrhea, herpes, AIDS, chlamydia, and maybe some others that I missed. I decided on the whole shebang, everything. The whole deal took maybe an hour, which includes time I spent getting lost while I found the accounts payable office, the testing lab, and a few other places.

Where -- Room 148, second floor of Pavillion G. If you have a JewGen card, BRING IT. Otherwise you get sent down to the basement where a nice lady has to look at your ID and give you a card.

When -- Room 148 is open 9 am to 11:30 am, Mon-Fri. Show up a little before 9 if you can. I did and it saved me a lot of waiting time.

What happens -- The lady in Rm 148 asks you to describe why you want to be tested. She's not interested in a lot of details or giving you a lecture. I said I'd seen 10 or so escorts in the past 9 months and had had some unprotected oral sex as giver and taker.

Then, after a brief wait, a doctor takes you into a small room next door. You take down your pants and underpants, lie face up on a table, and he sticks a needle (or something -- I didn't look) into the little slit in the top of your dick. This is to draw out a swab of gunk that is then tested for gonnorrhea and chlamydia. Believe me, the needle-sticking is a lousy experience, but it is also a very brief experience.

And then, if you want to be tested for AIDS, etc., you're sent down to a room in the basment that's called the Day Hospital. A nurse draws your blood there. That's done exactly the way it's done at blood drives, etc.

Then you go home and wait 7-10 days. If you don't hear from the hospital, you're fine. Right now I'm waiting. But at least I don't have to worry about what kind of bread I eat.

 

[metoo4]

But if you eat ham in your French baguette while at the JH, you'll end-up catching a Rabbi who will be lecturing you and asking you to exchange your impure baguette for something kosher...

Sorry, could't resist!

 

[Turbodick]

Then you go home and wait 7-10 days. If you don't hear from the hospital, you're fine. Right now I'm waiting. But at least I don't have to worry about what kind of bread I eat.

Well RP I hope your phone stays quiet. Thanks for explaining the process.

 

[EagerBeaver]

You take down your pants and underpants, lie face up on a table, and he sticks a needle (or something -- I didn't look) into the little slit in the top of your dick. This is to draw out a swab of gunk that is then tested for gonnorrhea and chlamydia. Believe me, the needle-sticking is a lousy experience, but it is also a very brief experience

It's not actually a needle that they use but rather a very long and thin cotton swab, similar to "Q tips" but actually longer and thinner. The reason they have you lay down on a table is that some guys pass out when this procedure is done, and if you are standing up, gravity dictates that if you pass out, you must fall down (possibly hitting your head on the way down). By doing it to you while you are laying down, if you pass out, you are already down and won't get hurt.

You are right that it is lousy and brief. How deeply was it inserted or did you not care to look? Was a corkscrewing motion employed?

I doubt you will hear back Red Paul.

 

[Red Paul]

It's not actually a needle that they use but rather a very long and thin cotton swab, similar to "Q tips" ...

That's a relief. Much better a cotton swab than something metal and sharp.

No corkscrewing motion that I remember, and no, I didn't see how far the swab went in. I was just happy the business ended as quickly as it did.

 

[jippprock]

Your Doctor can do the same shit, send it down to the lab and get the results in 7 to 10 days. Many Hospitals do the same thing. St. Mary`s also has a clinic. It`s best to have your MD give you a referral and you can go straight to the clinic. The MD also makes a few bucks due to the referral and sometimes they take you quicker. I am sure other hospitals are similar but I am more familiar with the JGH and St. Mary`s. Hospital St. Luc also has something similar as well as the Montreal General. Allot of this stuff, if not all, will be covered by medicare if you go the hospital with a referral. Without getting into great details about every individual disease, wear your raincoat for the main event and you`ll be OK. The other stuff is almost always safe, i.e TCCIMSW, DATY, except Herpes, which you should notice unless you are blind, is OK. Women can get Gonorrhea of the Throat but not much of anything else, from swallowing. Even throat ghonorea is not that easy to get. Only abstinence is 100%, but who wants to live like that?!!!! At least not normal people. Even many priests are doing some nasty shit they shouldn`t supposed to.

 

[emgeef]

One of the best posts ever.....

That info about JGH was terrific. If others have similar info to pass on in other hospitals, please try to be as explicit .

What i think makes the JGH thing work well is that it appears relatively anonymous. I dont think I would like my regular doctor to know my perverse habits.

What happens if you meet your wife in the room... Imagine, she was fooling around with someone that could have given her something... What a bitch...

 

[Turbodick]

What happens if you meet your wife in the room... Imagine, she was fooling around with someone that could have given her something... What a bitch...

"Hi honey. This doesn't look like the place I'm supposed to drop off my donation for Yeast Infection Research. Say, what are you doing here?"

Might be a great pick up joint... Just have to watch what you pick up!

 

[Lusty Pig]

Been there, done it....twice. Got myself some peace of mind.

 

[metoo4]

jippprock, your evaluation of risks is kind of, how can I say... Blind?
It`s misleading and contribute in spreading misinformation. Please don`t just repeat what peoples who don`t know what they talk about are saying. It`s not because ``everybody`` say so that it`s true.

- You can catch herpes without the ``donor`` showing any external signs. Or the lesion can be almost invisible. Who take a magnifying glass on a date?
- Lots of STD are ``available`` by or DATY. Some are less likely to occurs and most are easily treated but they`re still there. Our chances of AIDS or hepatitis are extremely low to nil with (the worst ones, lucky for us!) but there`s a lot of unpleasant stuff somebody can still catch.

True, risks are small but telling peoples they`ll be ok by using protection only for FS is irresponsible: nobody can say that. Anybody can do as they want with sex but please, don`t tell lies to peoples to reassure them, even if these lies are unintentionals. Anybody need to know the real facts before taking decision.

 

[docprostate]

STD clinics

It's not actually a needle that they use but rather a very long and thin cotton swab, similar to "Q tips" but actually longer and thinner.

Hi EagerBeaver, it is in fact a Calgiswab (Calcium Alginate), the calcium alginate is better and cells stick to it much more than to cotton. It is also much smaller.

STD clinics like the clinic at the JGH are present in each major hospital, and the process is the same. For the blood test, actually if you want to be thorough, you need a second blood test 30 days after the first one. Reasons: HIV testing can be negative on the first test, re: incubation period; if you test for virus, you have to get a second serology done to see if the titers are going up.

Any clinic of this type should absolutely call you back. If they don’t, you are assuming the tests to be negative. In fact, they could forget to call you, or the lost some results, etc.

Also, these testing are free of charge for Québec’s residents, when done in the public systems.

Hope this help.

 

[EagerBeaver]

Hi EagerBeaver, it is in fact a Calgiswab (Calcium Alginate), the calcium alginate is better and cells stick to it much more than to cotton. It is also much smaller.

I got tested recently in the USA and my doctor did not use the Calgiswab, he used a very long thin cotton swab (or at least that is what it looked like to me, because unlike Red Paul I watched - however, I could be wrong). I did not go to a reputable STD clinic, I went to see my own personal physician who is a personal friend and someone whom I trust. You're probably right on the Calgiswab being used in hospitals, STD clinics and on Red Paul at JGH.

 

[Red Paul]

Any clinic of this type should absolutely call you back. If they don’t, you are assuming the tests to be negative. In fact, they could forget to call you, or the lost some results, etc.

That's a disturbing thought. JewGen does let testees drop by if they want results and haven't heard anything after the 7-10 days. But instead of going to Rm 148 you get in touch with Records at 340-8222, x 8230. As I understand it, they tell you where to go to see your results in writing. Calling up and just asking to hear your results over the phone doesn't do any good because they don't know you are who you say are.

Also, these testing are free of charge for Québec’s residents, when done in the public systems.

The same at JewGen. I had to pay because I'm American; Quebeckers don't. This is something I should have made clear in my original post.

For other Americans, here's what I paid:

$50 to the dr for the gonn/chlam swabbing and test
$246 down in Accounts Payable for the blood tests

 

[hormone]

I got tested recently in the USA and my doctor did not use the Calgiswab, he used a very long thin cotton swab (or at least that is what it looked like to me, because unlike Red Paul I watched - however, I could be wrong). I did not go to a reputable STD clinic, I went to see my own personal physician who is a personal friend and someone whom I trust. You're probably right on the Calgiswab being used in hospitals, STD clinics and on Red Paul at JGH.

Hi EB! In fact your doctor most likely used a Calgiswab, 99% sure. They just dont call it like that in front of patients, and it DOES look like a long thin cotton swab. Hell, i'd like to have some for my ears at home, they're so thin! It's standard for chlamydia testing and comes as a kit for most STDs (with a little pot and liquid medium in which they shake it after to send for culture or other form of testing).

As for the choice of personal doctor or larger clinic, hospital or not, the most important issue is trust! Larger hospital or specialised STD clinics (such as L'Actuel) handle great volumes of patients and they know how to handle the specimens properly. A family doc who does this infrequently may not handle the swab specimens as they should be--the chlamydia one especially is particular... This problem has mostly disappeared with the advent of PCR testing (polymerase chain reaction, a genetic splicing method to check for pieces of antigen, same as they do for criminal investigations to identify DNA). But you must insist on finding out your results, don't accept a "no call no problem", test tubes do get lost and a larger clinic won't remember you came 2 weeks ago, while your personal physician is more likely to remember he hasn't received your results yet.

As mentionned also, all the major Montreal hospitals have walk-in type of testing facilities fro STDs--referral or not. Simply ask for the Infectious Diseases clinic (Maladies Infectieuses) and show up early AM on a week day. Non Quebecois Canadians also get it for free if you have your province of origin health care card and fill out one piece of paper.

But the most important thing is: get tested regularly, it won't be written on a girl's face if she is a carrier of some disease...

 

[jippprock]

jippprock, your evaluation of risks is kind of, how can I say... Blind?
It`s misleading and contribute in spreading misinformation. Please don`t just repeat what peoples who don`t know what they talk about are saying. It`s not because ``everybody`` say so that it`s true.

- You can catch herpes without the ``donor`` showing any external signs. Or the lesion can be almost invisible. Who take a magnifying glass on a date?
- Lots of STD are ``available`` by or DATY. Some are less likely to occurs and most are easily treated but they`re still there. Our chances of AIDS or hepatitis are extremely low to nil with (the worst ones, lucky for us!) but there`s a lot of unpleasant stuff somebody can still catch.

True, risks are small but telling peoples they`ll be ok by using protection only for FS is irresponsible: nobody can say that. Anybody can do as they want with sex but please, don`t tell lies to peoples to reassure them, even if these lies are unintentionals. Anybody need to know the real facts before taking decision.

Argue with my Doctor. He told me point blank. I don`t believe I misinterpreted it. There is allo0t of scar mongering around. There is no fail safe method other than abstinence but how much fun is that.

 

[EagerBeaver]

jippprock,

Understand that doctors will overstate risks of certain sexual behaviors if the patient advises the doctor of engagement in those behaviors. It`s their job to do this. If they don`t, they can get sued for malpractice.

My personal doctor knows I am sexually very active and told me to never have a , only to have CBJ. Frankly, would you really expect him to say anything else? Come on. Let`s not be naive in our assessment of the risks. I have to agree with metoo4 in his post above.

Learn to listen to what you hear with a critical ear and don`t always accept what you hear as gospel. Doctors are professionals, yes, but they are professionals who are trained to advise their patients to choose an option that tends to eliminates risks as opposed to those presenting some slight risk.

 

[Red Paul]

I dropped by this morning to get my results.

"These are all normal," the doctor said, looking at my file.

Me: "So that's good news."

Doctor: "Yup."

And that was it. I got there at 8:50 am, got out 9:15 am.

Basically, here's how it worked. I presented myself to the lady in Rm 148, Pavillion G. She thought I wanted testing and told me to close the door (for privacy), but I explained that I had been tested and just wanted to review the results. This was a big relief to her: giving results doesn't take too long.

The lady told me to put my JewGen card on the table just outside the door to her room. The table has several squares of paper taped to its surface, and each square has a number: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. You lay your card on an empty square and are called when your number calls up. In the meantime you sit in the row of chairs lining the wall near Rm 148.

Back when I came in for testing, a Wednesday, during the time I had to wait I saw two and then maybe five guys sitting there. Today, a Friday, the place was all but jammed from before I showed up. But not with people being tested for STDs, I would guess, as most of the crowd was over 60 and not looking too physically active. Come to think of it, I have no idea what services they were waiting for.

Anyway, I found a seat and did some reading. A couple of guys came in, stuck their head in Rm 148's door, and told the lady something like "Here for results." That's how you do it -- nice and simple.

Anyway, the lady called my name before I got too antsy. I walked back into Rm 148, where a nice silver-haired gentleman -- Dr. Whoever, I forget his name -- took a look at my file while on his way to somewhere else. He was doing this on the fly, but whatever. He did take a good look at the document before giving me the results. And then he was on to the next thing. Such is life at Jewish Gen, where they keep a pretty fast pace.

Now, the policy at JewGen for STD testees is that if you don't hear from them, you're OK. But here on this board, docprostate made the highly valid point that people screw up and the person in charge of calling you might forget. I figure if you're going to be sure, be sure. So I went in. To be complete, I also wrote in to get my results on paper.

Yes, that's right. Send a request by mail to JewGen, and they'll send you your results. You don't pay, not even for postage. Just make a request in writing and include your address, and also your name and patient number as they appear on your JewGen card. (The patient no is at the card's top.)

The address: Jewish Genl Hosp, Records Dept., 3755 Cote-St-Catherine, Mtl PQ H3T 1E2

How long to wait: 3 weeks. I decided to drop by just because tht's too long to wait before applying my lips to strange flesh. But others may feel differently.

And that concludes my experience of STD testing at JewGen Hospital. 8 years of hobbying, and no disease! I feel like I got away with something.

 

[Turbodick]

I feel like I got away with something.

More like you got away with nothing! Thank you again for laying this information out.

 

[EagerBeaver]

Hey RP,

Glad you got a negative result! Certainly must have been good news.