Which federal political party will be closer to hobbyists interests?
Quel parti fédéral serait le plus proche des intérêts des hobbyistes?
Le partit Rhinoceros du Canada !
Here's their slogan :
We don't speak English very much,
but we French very well !
Politicians are like Rhinos since by nature, they are "thick-skinned, slow-moving, dim-witted, can move fast as hell when in danger, and have large, hairy horns growing out of the middle of their faces"...
Here's a couple of their past promises...
Repealing the law of gravity
Providing higher education by building taller schools
Instituting English, French and illiteracy as Canada's three official languages
Tearing down the Rocky Mountains so that Albertans could see the Pacific sunset
Making Montreal the Venice of North America by damming the St. Lawrence River
Abolishing the environment because it's too hard to keep clean and it takes up so much space
Annexing the United States, which would take its place as the third territory in Canada's backyard (after the Yukon and the Northwest Territories), in order to eliminate foreign control of Canada's natural resources
Ending crime by abolishing all laws
There may be somethin in there...
To provide more parking in the Maritimes and to create the world's largest parking lot respectively, paving the Bay of Fundy and the province of Manitoba
Turning Montreal's Saint Catherine Street into the world's longest bowling alley
Amending Canada's Freedom of Information Act. "Nothing is free anymore; Canadians should have to pay for their information."
Making the Canadian climate more temperate by tapping into the natural resource of hot air in Ottawa.
Storing nuclear waste in the Senate. "After all, we've been storing political waste there for years."
Adopting the British system of driving on the left; this was to be gradually phased in over five years with large trucks and tractors first, then buses, eventually including small cars and bicycles last.
Selling the Canadian Senate at an antique auction in California
Putting the national debt on Visa
Declaring war on Belgium because a Belgian cartoon character, Tintin, killed a rhinoceros in one of the cartoons
Offering to call off the proposed Belgium-Canada war if Belgium delivered a case of mussels and a case of Belgian beer to Rhinoceros "Hindquarters" in Montreal (the Belgian Embassy in Ottawa did, in fact, do this)
Painting Canada's coastal sea limits in watercolour so that Canadian fish would know where they were at all times
Banning guns and butter, since both kill
Banning lousy Canadian winters
Building a bridge spanning the country, from Vancouver Island to Newfoundland.
Making the Trans-Canada Highway one way only.
Changing Canada's currency to bubble gum, so it could be inflated or deflated at will.
Donate a free rhinoceros to every aspiring artist in Canada
Counting the Thousand Islands to see if the Americans have stolen any
