2008: Who Needs Escorts Anymore!

SP Extreme Hand Prosthesis (TM)!

Struggling with self-esteem issues? Consumed by a strong desire to feel dirty and feel loathing while with the ladies but worried that your pecker might fail you again?

We have the solution:

http://www.geekologie.com/2007/07/12/soap-hands.jpg

The EXTREME SP HAND PROSTHESIS (TM)!

Molded directly from Paris of Montreal XXXtase, her hands have been recreated to the most minute detail.

The experience of holding her hand has been transferred into a real SP Hand Prosthesis.

From the makers of EmpathyDoll (TM), the doll that says exactly what you want to hear.

Only $360 (specify "right" or "left"), Shipping and Handling Extra. Birth Certificate and Hand Sanitizer not included.

traveller_76 said:

There's 'humour' and then there's 'bad taste'

t76

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Disturbing, isn't it?

Korbel said:

Hello Ziggy,

I warned you not to leave the girls alone with your father. The horny bastard already has his hand going up Chanelle's dress. You know you can't trust him. You should have learned after your goat ran away. I know dad has needs, but at least he should have realized how special your relationship was with Billie.

Tragic,

Korbel

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Yeah, my father is an insensitive fuck worse than me but - WRONG! - this is not the hobbyist.

"One-Hit-Wonder Goo Goo Doll" recall notification

The Canadian Product Safety Commission is notifying sex workers that the Sycophant Corporation is recalling all One-Hit-Wonder Goo Goo Doll (OHWGGD) manufactured between 1968 and 1975. Cases of internal short circuit without warning, resulting in failure to deliver an erection when needed were reported.

The OHWGGD is also subject to different failures, resulting in the doll pathologically repeating itself (echolalia) -- which could lead to serious, life-threatening boredom for sex workers.

Finally, there was one case reported of a malfunction which resulted in the OHWGGD to obsessively punch numbers on a dial pad. Over two hundred escorts changed their phone numbers suspected to be associated with this malfunction.