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Thread: Staying Single

  1. #1

    Staying Single

    For obvious reasons I did not open this thread with a Poll. Are you a) married B) Co-Joint ( common Law) c) have a steady girlfriend.

    I am a single, single Father. I am not married, have no girlfriend and I don't even date at all. Why? Well its my choice.
    Interesting books like "Why Men on on Strike" by Helen Smith PHD, Feminism First, Men Last , etc.
    The fact is society has changed significantly. Feminism started out with good ideas. Women were 100 years ago and even in post WW2 years to a lesser extent getting unfairly treated. In the 1970s Feminism really took off and carried on strong right into the 80s. The thing is it is no longer about equality it is about maintaining a double standard in their favour. Women can form a Women's support group, and rightly so I might add, kudos to them, I agree, but if Men start any Mens support group it will be shutdown and viciously attacked. I could on and on but I think you see the point.
    The pendulum has swung completely the other way now. Women outnumber Men in affairs now and are outright aggressive.
    So closer to home where does that leave me. I have my kids all week , every week and work weekends, not 9-5 so even Friday and Mondays are full days because I work late into the night or start early early morning.
    I am an excellent Father and take great pride in it. I cook, clean, laundry, organize, do it all plus all the traditional male roles, have a full time job and am comfortable.
    Women I meet though want it all, their mothers life and their Fathers career. Hold the door open for me but I will take your job. You pay everything when we go out even though I make 100k a year ! Women now far outnumber men in the middle income level. Ask them to cook for once as you are tired and they think how dare you even think to ask.

    So, my solution. See Escorts. Its less hassle, less trouble and cheaper in the long run anyway, no for real it is!! ( addicts aside) My ilife is great so why screw it up. I prefer seeing the same SP, sharing a bottle of wine and talking and then having great sex so I prefer 2hr plus bookings. Sort of a weird date granted but hey its fun and open. The SP has an enjoyable time as do I. The $$ is already discussed so its actually more honest than the alternative. I am a good looking, athletic single guy and people are baffled I am single, obviously I don't tell them my little hobby.
    The really interesting thing is that many SPs see more and more clients making this exact same choice and what is even more surprising, young single men in their twenties.

    Just wanted others thoughts on the topic .

  2. #2
    BTW..Don't want this to turn into a Male or Female bashing thread or the White Nights coming to rescue, its more about a shift in society and how it is impacting relationships.

  3. #3
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Look behind you.
    Divorced 6 years now, had a blast when I was single, had a blast the first few yrs of marriage. I have my kids when I am in Quebec ( 5 months of the year ) will never marry again and should not have in the first place.
    As for your comment about 20 somethings seeing a SP............. WHY? My son is 21 and gets laid for free whenever he wants and does not plan to get a steady girlfriend ( they usually get pissed when he wrenches on his car most of the time and say it is either the car or me.... well the car wins as there are many girls around ). Alberta girls do have attitudes ( heard from my friends kids ) but I think the girls in Quebec do not expect as much... again, just my opinion.
    If I was younger and not working away so often I would look for a girlfriend but not a wife. Right now I am really enjoying being single, my kids are #1.....
    What I do miss is going out to a nice restaurant with someone but refuse to pay $180/per hr to have an escort eat with me...... WTF the dinner costs $200-300.
    There was an escort named Lady Ino years ago that dinner time was free ( MacD did not count ) if you spent $ on sex after... We went for a few meals and it was entertaining...
    I had met a stripper ( Joe.T met her in LÁvanier ) who charged $600 from 7pm to midnight but we usually went for a 2 hr dinner and throw in the room it ended up costing around $1,000.00, a few of those and gave up.
    Divorces cost men a lot of money.
    Long story short.................. Marriage is not what it used to be but escorts cost too much for companionship.
    I was not really on topic was I? ( this is my second edit )

  4. #4
    I agree with your analysis and I do believe that societal shifts have indeed occurred that favor a man being single and seeing escorts. I will try my best to avoid female (non-escort) bashing but that is not easy and you did a bit of that yourself.

    1. People with good jobs in North America have to work a shitload of hours. They do not have a choice. Work is not divided up properly. A company's stars (of perceived stars) get dumped on, and are in fact rewarded a bit. There is money for escorts but little time for dating. This problem is made worse by the fantasy world that is created for girls. Prince Charming will come and he will also "work at the relationship". Not going to fucking happen when he has to work all of the time, ladies.

    2. Legal and economic impediments exist to getting laid "for free" in the places a single guy spends most of his time, like the workplace. Thank you Anita Hill, you lesbian bitch, for that one. Inter office dating is damn dangerous and now our wonderful colleges now have these new Affirmative Consent policies. What the fuck? There is now a rebuttable presumption that a sex act is rape. The guy has to prove that it is not by obtaining Affirmative Consent.

    3. The existence of more single people causes our free enterprise system to adapt. It used to be more economically difficult to be single. Now there are millions of restaurants to cook for me; there used to be very few. Many food items are sold in smaller containers and packaging than before. Long ago, most food was sold in family sizes. There are many dry cleaners that now offer full laundry, even underwear. Wives used to do that. Why shouldn't I buy sex, too? Maybe some one stop shopping? That Howard Stern show had a funny prostitution episode, With Sex You Get Eggroll. I would love it if my Thai meal could be prepared during the half hour that I get my full service massage.

    4. The Internet provides opportunities for social interaction with other people. A guy does not need a wife or girlfriend to have someone to interact with from time to time. We are interacting right now!

    I think just about every societal trend that a single man encounters favors him seeing escorts as opposed to dating or marrying for sex.

  5. #5
    Patron, insightful and good read.

    I forgot I did have one date this summer. Went on the AML dinner cruise, my idea as its a fun night. It is 4 hour Dinner cruise leaving from the Old Port at 7pm and back at 11pm. I went out with a gorgeous 35 year old and…I heard her talk about her ex for over half to it! The rest was blabbing about everything else. The Evening with dinner, cruise, 2 bottles of wine and tip was 350$ and I took the Metro home ( I don't drink and drive) and was never so happy to be on a Subway car.

  6. #6
    I've read the men on strike book. Mostly telling me stuff I already knew.

    I don't date. It isn't by choice however. I am in roughly the bottom 20% in looks. Women don't seem interested in talking to me unless they are 90, however I get told quite often how funny I am. Also my lifestyle apperently makes me undateable. Also apperently I have a few Beta like characterisics. I'll actually apologize like any good Canadian for example although I don't take shit. I am also very unformfortable with expressing anything that could be even remotely considered sexual interest without seeing signs that it would be welcome which I never get. I don't believe in hitting, I am actually a decent sort of chap but it just isn't an option. Just once I'd like to know what it is like for a woman to actually want to have sex with me without my paying for it. I'd love just once to know what it is like to have a female actually love you, to go out of their way to want to spend time with you and do stuff for you... again without paying them. Alas that is for other guys. I am at the point where I just can't concieve the idea of a girl actually wanting to fuck or even just date me, it is inconceviable and unlike that dude from Princess Bride, I do know what that word means.

    However I'd be terrified of getting married or in a common law situation because I am set up now that I can fund my own OAS, GIS and GAINS from now till I am 67 when I qualify for the real thing and a bit left over. Its enough but if a woman breaks my heart and takes half my funds I am likely to end up on the streets for a few years as with my work history I am pretty much unemployable and that would be a bitter pill.
    If I had lotto money, I think I'd just stick to escorts.

    As of now I am a bit conflicted. I do love the skin on skin [as in hands on body not genital on genital] contact and just hanging out but once every few months or even once a month doesn't really scratch that itch and it is over so fast. A bit like eating a pizza. A moment on the lips a lifetime on the hips, it is over so fast. Except in this case it is expensice and does nothing to ease the touch cravings. Also the risk of the herpes and the HPV which is inevitible if you hobby enough [if you have seen a 100 girls and think you don't have the herpies because you show no signs you need to do a minimal amount of research], OTOH if you will never date, there is no real stigma so meh.
    But yeah, it is expensive consideing my income.

    Fuck I gotta win that lotto.

  7. #7
    I loved the cruising with Oliver K. reports. I read everyone of those reports like clockwork.

    Yes, marriage is a crock of shit for men. That is why they call a man going to the divorce court like going to the cleaners. It is an insurance policy for women. 85% of divorces are filed by women. Why? Because in most cases they have nothing to lose. They have no skin in the game. She thinks I'm tired of my hubby so I'll get a divorce and he will stilll pay the bills.

    I wanted to get my hands on Men On Strike. I really think that there is a bit of conspiracy here with C-36 and these types of laws. I think Women love the institution of marriage because it is a windfall for them. Having sex with SP's is a very practical alternative for men. It is better than giving everything you own to your spouse with child support that never ends....I think this is a loophole that the feminists would love to close so they can have that much more control over us. Look at most of the married men in the USA that you know. They follow their wives like they are on a leash or they get divorced and are penniless.

    Stay Single for as long as you can. My dad used to tell me this. He used to talk about the nesting instinct that we have and before you know it your shot! He was correct. I talk to guys that are getting married because the girl set a man trap for him. They say "Well she is a good girl and she has stuck around. She deserves it. " One guy sleeps with one of her friends in a one time deal(bad move) and now he is living in a motor-home paying her a ton of child support. There was no forgiveness. He will recover in a good 20-30 years for his one-time, momentary indiscretion. Two other friends got divorced after their wives put them through the wringer. One guy worked his ass off in production. He said he couldn't bring home more than 500$/week. he is living with his brother. The list goes on and on.

    There are not too many incentives to marry if you are a male. Stay single for as long as you can, unless you are into cuckolding LOL!!!

  8. #8
    Gorgeous ladies Fanatic
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Northern emisphere
    Hi all

    Specialty Tax lawyers have solutions to prevent loosing assets to your ex in a divorse.
    And I am not talking prenuptial agreement!
    I know it works went through one a few years back ,she came with nothing and left the same way .

    Ciao babe

    Warmest Regards


  9. #9
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Las Vegas, NV
    It works both ways...I've had three serious relationships and in all of those I came out on the losing end. Put one guy through school, gave one our house when I left him...when I am ready to run I simply want to cut all ties and I don't care if it costs me.

    I too have decided to stay single and avoid any type of serious committed relationship. But even dating is complicated. I have tried dating again after a long break and I really think it's more trouble than anything else.

    I love the simplicity of the escort/client relationship. It satisfies both sexual and social needs for me, without any of the complications.

  10. #10
    A lot of people of my age (in the 50s) think that young people are superficial, the only important thing is the physical appearance. I tried some dating web sites: no answer of no meeting. And women in their 50s, when you read trheir profile or what they write in forum of the dating sites, want a beautiful man. And I heard some young women (end of 20s, beginning of 30s) who find love on web dating site, even if the guy was not their physical type. So, which age group is more superficial?

  11. #11
    In Quebec we have the Quebec Civil Code which comparatively, although not perfect is generally fair.
    Example; you, man or women and have owned your house on your own for ten years and it is obviously in your name, had a 20 year pension from your employer. You got married for 4 years, it was disaster and you got divorced. Your ex is entitled to the difference in the mortgagge of the house from the time you were married until now. So if the value owed changed 50k then your ex is entitled to 50% of that or 25k, thats it, not 50% of its value. Another way its calculated is market value. If your house was worth 400k when you got married and 4 years later it is worth 440k then the value went up 40k and your ex would receive 20k. The pension is 50% of the pension for the time you were together. So in the example your pension was 20 years when you got married and now is at 24 years when you split, your ex is entitled to 50% of the accrued units over the 4 years, thats it. They do not get 50% of your total pension. Everything you purchased together when you were married until you split is 50%. So if over 4 years you bought 100k worth of stuff together then they would get 50% of that, not the stuff you owned prior to your marriage. Child support is a formula based on custody and earnings of both parents. So if you have 50/50 joint shared custody and you both earn 90k a year than there is zero payments made by either parent. If the wife/mother makes 150k a year and you make 80k a year she would then pay you roughly 350$ a month. It is a formula and there is zero negotiation on this and is dictated by the Civil code.
    Quebec and I believe, Manitoba and BC ( correct me if I am wrong as I am not 100% familiar with each provinces laws) are the most progressive. Ontario is one of the worst so it varies from province to province.
    The reason for the change is obvious. Women worked and had very good incomes and the laws were 100 years out of date.
    Having said all this you can easily spend 25K plus on lawyers here despite the clarity but it usually is about custody, the rest is math and fairly clear cut.

    For me though I am just tired of going out with aggressive bitchy women that want a complete double standard. Case in point, as was already pointed out, women even up here account for over 80% of the divorces being initiated. The women leave, and usually in the vast majority of the cases for another man. Refer to a website this was researched by a women no less. Women plan it ahead, hide it, lie and get everything in order than tell their husband they want a trial separation to think. They already have thought about it but are just keeping you on standby in case it fails , as it usually does. When a women does this the reaction is " well if he had paid attention to her more and been more loving she never would have left" So its the guys fault??? Yes, to women it is.
    If a man does the exact same thing, he is scumbag and how dare he.

    For me I am just done. I enjoy being single, it is easy for me being a single dad, I have no stress and arguments and everything is just so much smoother. All the guys i know are past fed up.

    Are there happy couples and marriages? Yes, about 10% ( most surveys say about 5% actually so I am trying to be generous)
    Many hobbyists on this board even are married and hobby to stay sane and in a warped way will say it keeps their marriage together. I am not passing judgement only questioning those that are miserable why they don't leave. Some love their wife and overall it goes OK and they get a little on the side, fair enough, but if you are miserable and its just stress and fighting everyday, get out man, life is too short.

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