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Thread: Best Ads Ever !!!!

  1. #1

    Best Ads Ever !!!!

    Just saw this on Craig's List and as I type this, tears are pouring down my cheeks from laughing so hard.

    Quickie wanted - w4m - 26

    I'm 26, white, long brown hair, hazel eyes. No pic available.

    I'm 5 foot 1 inch tall, and I weigh 160lbs. So, yes, I'm quite chubby.

    I'm not shaved, but I have big tits.

    I am in a messed up emotional state, with a relationship that lasted many years coming to a disaster of an ending. However, I know that I like sex and that sex is not love. I am not looking for love.

    I'm literate, smart and sarcastic. But really, I don't need you to like my personality.

    I want to get fucked. I don't want foreplay, I don't want you to eat me out, I don't want to blow you. I just want you to come over, get hard as fast as possible and then, fuck me (with a condom, non-negotiable). We can chat for a minute before, if it will make you feel better. And you can stick around afterwards until you get your breath back. Then, you will leave.

    I need you to be clean and not an idiot. So please try to send a response that uses proper spelling and capitalization. I need you to be willing to come to my place. Which, by the way, is a mess. I have a cat, so it's better if you aren't deathly allergic to them.

    I don't really care what you look like. I am not a supermodel, so I don't judge others based on their appearance. Just, please, be in posession of a functioning cock.

    I'm available at 11 and would like to be done by midnight.

    No need to send a pic (and certainly not one of your dick).

    Yours in bluntness,

    Chubby girl

  2. #2
    Gentleman Extraordinare
    Join Date
    Nov 2006

    Talking Wow!

    no way to misunderstand that.

  3. #3
    You think ??

    The line that cracked me up is

    Just, please, be in posession of a functioning cock.

  4. #4
    Jeez, I'm surprised she didn't outline which positions she wanted and how many strokes of each.

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