Best Ads Ever !!!!
Just saw this on Craig's List and as I type this, tears are pouring down my cheeks from laughing so hard.
Quickie wanted - w4m - 26
I'm 26, white, long brown hair, hazel eyes. No pic available.
I'm 5 foot 1 inch tall, and I weigh 160lbs. So, yes, I'm quite chubby.
I'm not shaved, but I have big tits.
I am in a messed up emotional state, with a relationship that lasted many years coming to a disaster of an ending. However, I know that I like sex and that sex is not love. I am not looking for love.
I'm literate, smart and sarcastic. But really, I don't need you to like my personality.
I want to get fucked. I don't want foreplay, I don't want you to eat me out, I don't want to blow you. I just want you to come over, get hard as fast as possible and then, fuck me (with a condom, non-negotiable). We can chat for a minute before, if it will make you feel better. And you can stick around afterwards until you get your breath back. Then, you will leave.
I need you to be clean and not an idiot. So please try to send a response that uses proper spelling and capitalization. I need you to be willing to come to my place. Which, by the way, is a mess. I have a cat, so it's better if you aren't deathly allergic to them.
I don't really care what you look like. I am not a supermodel, so I don't judge others based on their appearance. Just, please, be in posession of a functioning cock.
I'm available at 11 and would like to be done by midnight.
No need to send a pic (and certainly not one of your dick).
Yours in bluntness,
no way to misunderstand that.
You think ??
The line that cracked me up is
Just, please, be in posession of a functioning cock.
Jeez, I'm surprised she didn't outline which positions she wanted and how many strokes of each.