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Thread: Cheap, homemade penis pump.

  1. #1

    Cheap, homemade penis pump.

    Are you, like me, too embarrased to purchase a penis pump? I'd been wanting one for a long time, not because I'm not well endowed, but, to gratify myself.

    Now, I've developed a way of making a cheap, disposable once it gets too gross, vacuum pump. In essence, this is a way of giving yourself a blow-job.

    Most of the stuff needed can be bought at Dollarama (in Canada) or presumeably, at any dollar store in the US. Here's the list of stuff you'll need:

    - A plastic bottle, I recommend an empty Gatorade bottle, NOT the type with the screw on sports-cap as the neck is too narrow, just a regular bottle with a normal screw on cap. The bottleneck, just happens to be about the circumference of my penis so it fits fine. They sell them for 1$ at Dollarama and they come filled with Gatorade. I've also used emptied out bottles of spices, three things about the spice bottles:

    1 - You want to make sure you rince them properly or you will be in pain from the pepper/spices.

    2 - They are slightly larger in circumference but shorter in length than the Gatorade bottles so you want to put something 'paddy' on the tip or you might injure your own tip on the sharp welding spot at the bottom of the bottle.

    3 - I recommend if you're going to use a spice bottle, that you get a small masturbating device like an elongated rubber vagina, they are 4" long and once lubed, you can slide your penis in them and insert the whole thing into the bottle, then apply vaccum, pulsate, whatever.
    These are 2/1$.

    - A glue gun, also easily bought at Dollarama for 1$.

    - Glue sticks, 1$ at, you guessed it, Dollarama.

    - Tubing, for about 3.50$ you can pick up 1/4" clear acquarium tubing, get the three feet pack, although roughly 18" is plenty for one pump.

    I assume you already own, a drill and a 1/4" mesh.

    What you do is you drill a 1/4" hole on the bottom of the bottle of your choice, you then clean it properly of any residue from the drilling, and insert the 1/4" tube about 1/8" in. You then glue it with the glue gun from the outside. Let the glue cool off a few minutes and you're done. What I like to do is put my penis in the bottle and suck lightly on the tube, then, with proper lubrication (KY) you slide the neck to the bottom of your glans and pulsate by applying vacuum then blowing gently, make sure you don't blow or suck too much because I'm not sure if you can hurt yourself, I really haven't asked my doctor about this one but I remember reading somewhere that you should never blow air into the urethra so you're warned.

    BTW, I've noticed that those contraptions last about 1 week because the glue hardens too much and air starts to leak from the seal, I'm going to make the next batch with silicone.

    If anyone knows if this is damageable to the delicate male equipment please let me know, because I've been pulling myself like a tractor trailer...

    Have fun.

  2. #2
    If you suck hard enough, can you blow yourself TCIM?

  3. #3
    Veteran of Misadventures EagerBeaver's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    It's been done by Ron Jeremy, it's called autofellatio and yes he came in his own mouth and also gave himself a facial.

  4. #4
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    That is so cool! I would love it if some one could make me one to add to my toy bag as I don't have a drill (My ex got to keep all the tools).

    They will forget what you said,
    they will forget what you did,
    but they will never forget the way you made them feel.

  5. #5
    I can only imagine Ronnie walking into a hotel room with her briefcase, dressed to kill. Boy oh boy...

  6. #6
    A prestiged re-member Bruce34's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Yet she will kill you with a sweet smile.

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