How many Sps have you been with?
- Thread starter the real deal
- Start date
That got my attention, then looked at who wrote it!
Hi!
How did the dating go? Before or after starting yourself?
While I doubt it'd happen, I have been considering and wondering a bit. Any word of wisdom?
FWIW, 9 over decades and countries.
I dated 2 sex workers before I became one and I want to make it clear that I had not hired them lol I met them and found out they were escorts. One of them was beginning and only worked a couple months. The other one had been a worker for a while.
I didn't date either of them very long, but it didn't have anything to do with their job. I do feel like one of them had a schedule that was extremely packed, she was someone who possibly had a sex addiction and very toxic behavior around dating and sexuality, I won't get into it. I didn't feel like she was fully herself around me and there were a lot of lies. I stopped seeing her because she was deceptive and I wasn't able to ever see her anyways. The other girl was less busy but I felt like since it was very new to her, she still romanticized the whole thing, she validated herself through her sessions with men a lot and it seemed more satisfying to her than hanging out with me and I guess less emotionally heavy. I know a lot of SP who date tho and probably don't have these issues.
My word of wisdom is : don't expect that you will date an escort. This subject comes up really really often and I always have the same thing to say..
It's either really unlikely to happen, or it can end really badly for a few reasons. One of them being that once you are no longer a client the dynamic will change. I spent hours explaining this to someone the other day, who was heart broken over an escort he hired not wanting to date him... He said ''but our connection was genuine''. Sure, it's genuine, but we are still catering to you.. We can't be fully ourselves and we have to make sure to ''offer good service''. Once that is no longer a pressure, how will the client handle it? The client could also drop his ''best behavior'' as well.
There are clients who hire escorts and develop crushes and obsessions, this can become dangerous territory because they don't understand that it's not reciprocal, since we are offering GFE. There are also escorts who seem to be in it to find a provider type of man, but I think a lot of them are probably really picky about who they would choose to spend their lives with..
Very well said! A good reminder for us guys.
There can be a genuine connection with an SP, but it is within a transactional framework. Both can exist at the same time.
Some SPs will open up more to some clients and enjoy the encounter as well. I don’t think it’s fake, it can be authentic within the encounter.
But once the session is over, each one goes their own way.
But the lines can sometimes get blurred, so we have to keep this in mind.
Over the years, I realized it’s best to enjoy it, but not get too attached.
Well said, it's not because it's transactional that it's not genuine.. from my side of things in my experience what can make it less genuine is someone's attitude about the transaction and what I feel the person's expectations are and what he is seeking from me.
It's not always the case that we are expected to go each our own way after sessions, too. Some men think a connection is more genuine if they can keep in touch between bookings and interact online very often. Sometimes this is cute and can enhance the connection if it's sporadic, but at other times it can become really heavy and actually feel like extra work instead of a sweet friendship.
It can be tempting to entertain this as a SP, because we also are human beings and want things to feel organic and we also seek connection, but sometimes like you say lines get blurred. I don't think it's bad for a client to be seeking that type of connection with a SP but it should be discussed when it gets to that point to make sure she gets compensated fairly within a certain arrangement and that boundaries are understood.
I for myself realized that it's too emotionally exhausting to be engaging with this and can definitely feel really intense even if I appreciate the client. It prevents genuine connection in a lot of ways because I feel like I have to perform all the time in those instances and I feel like a certain type of authenticity emerges that I don't really appreciate, the client wants to have exclusive access to certain things about me (not physical ones btw) ..
I think ultimately if a SP feels like the client wants something she can't give him she will have to perform.. it's a job after all and for me some bookings feel a lot more natural and comfortable than others depending on the person's attitude.
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Side note: I think it's ironic that clients who become obsessed with SP in general or one particular SP are called simps by other men, because these guys are not simps.. To me a simp is a person who has a particular type of submissive (I'm talking about submission in a s&m sense, not like actually socially submissive) behavior, they want to offer a lot to their crush while expecting little in return. The type of clients I'm describing are actually very demanding, both emotionally and physically, even if they may not realize that they are. It's not a bad thing.
Some clients I've really liked were that type and I understand where it comes from 100%.. It's just that it's not what a lot of you think this is.It's not completely opposed to the another attitude I think prevents connection, the ''you are not working unless we are fucking 60 minutes out of 60 and I got my x number of shots'' type of attitude. We do want to work, we just don't like to be in pain during a session. Some girls can accommodate that better than others, but it's a performance overall.
I think what I'm trying to convey is that the more you're trying to chase a ''genuine experience''.. genuine intense sexual chemistry & attraction and explosive sexuality... genuine relationship that goes beyond the transaction etc the more you're likely to push it away. If you are more laid back and positive, you're more likely to have good surprises.
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I totally agree.
This is very true. When I said that we go our separate ways after meeting, I met we return to our personal lives. It’s no point for me to constantly relive a nice encounter or thinking too much about the next one; that’s what I meant.
But a couple of regulars and I text occasionally between bookings, and I find it’s a nice touch, and it makes it feel more authentic. I agree with this.
Very true. The more I act like myself and don’t force things, the better the bookings!
Good points, thanks!
