Methinks you have your definition and assumptions about first humans and second nature; methinks you're not accurate in both cases. Darwin is more universal, complex and interesting than that. As to a theory about mental illness... on the scale of conspiracy theory, that's about a 7.Sure, but it's a post about both genders. What if a man wants children and cannot find a suitable partner? (yes I used the word)
And one theory about why there is so much mental illness is precisely because we live in ways that contravene human nature.
Random thoughts (*rises from the dead*)
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I don't deal in conspiracy theories. The fact that we are living in an environment that is so different from our ancestral environment is the leading theory of mental illness in the field of evolutionary psychology. The mechanism that mediates it is thought to be chronic overstimulation from artificial stimuli (think cities, our phones), and the abundance of choice in all areas of life, which creates a sort of cognitive overload leading to chronic stress, and potentially depression.
By the way, my "assumption" (which is a fact) is that humans are a social species. Also, that it "takes a village to raise a child", as the saying goes. There is no denying that loneliness is on the rise, and that the social support system needed to raise a child, with frailing familiy and neighbourhood ties, is particularly weak.
As for human nature, no one claims to have "the" definition, but we can draw its contours from evolutionary theory and the observation of isolated civilizations (work that was notably done in the 70's by the anthropologist Napoleon Chagnon). The cognitive scientist and linguist Steven Pinker, one of the most cited scientitsts in the world, has written an excellent book on the topic of human nature (Blank Slate), which I recommend.
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I agree. I also think this is getting into incel territory and this very sexist and outdated idea that all men deserve to have a wife to give them children. It's just not the case and I think people who see things this way are not prepared to have children. I said what I said.
Are you under the impression that women are not isolated and that only men seem to suffer from this?
You didn't but it's easy to read the subtext through everything you post on this forum. Your "observations" about women wearing makeup or not, wearing sexy clothes, etc. your frequent mentions of "hypergamy", among other things. You accused me of having judgement tinted by ideology but although you frequently talk about how intelligent and scientific you are, yours is as well.
Frequent? One post. The other things are ineed observations. Aren`t we allowed to observe the world around us and to try to understand what factors motivate our behaviours? One thing for sure, it seems particularly difficult for people on this platform to do so.
No.
Edit: stop associating me with the incel ideology. In today`s world that`s a serious accusation and I am not one! The common thread in my posts is a distaste for modern society and how its parameters end up hurting us all, men an women alike. Men and women should care more about the difficulties of the other sex, because if we don`t get along, and can`t live together as couples and families, society crumbles.
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I'm not calling you an incel.
I'm just saying that the language you use and the way you formulate certain ideas can get close to these types of ideologies, sometimes, or could be mistaken for it.
And yes in today's world incel and men's right activist discourse as well as anti immigration speech among other things I see on this forum all the time, by multiple users, are to be taken seriously and dangerous.
You detect ideology in things I say all the time and I've been misquoted and misunderstood many times by various users here, being called a "misandrist" and a "radfem" after nuanced and well formulated criticisms that were in no way targeting specific people.
However, I can see how the atmosphere here can breed more dangerous ways of thinking that can lead to violence. It's not you, but when everybody is contributing to this, it creates an atmosphere of hostility towards women and minorities honestly. And in this industry, this is flat out dangerous and possibly lethal if the wrong person or people gets "too angry".
We're allowed to observe the world around us but we choose to observe specific things over others. Also we are not omnipotent neutral beings, our observations are not neutral.
Here is a link to the book I cited. Highly informative on the topic of human nature–or why everything is not socially constructed: https://a.co/d/06UpYCym
"Sweeping, erudite, sharply argued, and fun to read..also highly persuasive." (Time)
"An extremely good book-clear, well argued, fair, learned, tough, witty, humane, stimulating." (The Washington Post)
"Pinker makes his main argument persuasively and with great verve...ought to be read by anybody who feels they have had enough of the nature-nurture rows." (The Economist)
4.6/5 Amazon (1,816 reviews)
4.1/5 Goodreads (25,593 reviews)
"Sweeping, erudite, sharply argued, and fun to read..also highly persuasive." (Time)
"An extremely good book-clear, well argued, fair, learned, tough, witty, humane, stimulating." (The Washington Post)
"Pinker makes his main argument persuasively and with great verve...ought to be read by anybody who feels they have had enough of the nature-nurture rows." (The Economist)
4.6/5 Amazon (1,816 reviews)
4.1/5 Goodreads (25,593 reviews)
Can’t be sorry for people who are not even sad about their situations ♀️ . If you are feeling some type a way about being single and childless: do something about it. Quite simple.
No saying you are exactly doing that, but it was a warning in anticipation that the discourse might lead there.
But at the same time, this quote seem to imply that this is not his problem if he can't have children, but throws the blame on the woman rather than him taking responsiblity about his situation and do something to change it.
That's the thing. Are you looking for someone to marry and have children with? Or are you waiting for them to appear out of thin air... Are you putting in the work?
If you don't have success with dating, chances are you need to work on yourself. This applies to women as well.
A lot of women can't find a relationship or stay in fulfilling ones because they don't work on themselves.
The thing is, for a very long time, it was quite easy for men to find a relationship. I remember being young and being told that I should "give this guy a chance". I'm not the only one who was educated this way.
Now women don't want to experience certain things anymore in dating & relationships, and I am not talking about them wanting to live in mansions with men that have 10 inch dicks and look like romance novel covers.
So some men act surprised that they have to work on themselves in order to meet somebody. Because in the past the bar was really low for men. And in some eras, men could just be given a wife and that woman had no choice but to marry him.
From my childhood days I've always been told I needed to keep my weight down, dress a certain way, have impeccable hygiene, maximize my beauty, act modest, be forgiving, do this, do that in order to attract boyfriends or even just platonic friendships. Now it's all about healing your trauma, self help, fitness, emotional management, maximizing youth, cultivating humor and charm, being stylish etc.
Some of this stuff is arbitrary and oppressive but some of it is actually really important, and it's all work. It turns out that to have fulfilling human connections you have to work on yourself.
Half Portuguese myself but not a fan of all the stinky fish my dear old Granny (RIP) used to cook up
Do you remember advertisement websites in 2014?
We were about 35 independent girls advertising on the 3-4 more popular websites in Montreal.
You would see the same names everywhere you looked. I recognized all of them.
Only on BP you could find a constellation of girls, known to unknown.
Today, all websites (I'm not even talking about LL) have 200+ girls working in Montreal or from other cities falsely advertising in Montreal, scammers and AI, I can't recognize more than 20 real girls nowadays. It's impossible to be seen through this chaos, and the reference system is almost impossible to use since I can't verify if the girl is real or not anymore. Even social media is not as straightforward as it was.
I knew one way to work. And what I knew doesn't exist anymore.
I also wonder if there are less new clients entering the industry because of this. And the majority of those who do are the youngsters who feel at ease with this chaotic Internet as it is today, who are not my ideal clientele.
The enshittification of Internet can be felt in this industry, maybe we were even the first to feel its turmoil.
It saved girls from working from the streets in unsafe conditions, but unsafe conditions still exist and relying on technology for everything in life is a trap.
We were about 35 independent girls advertising on the 3-4 more popular websites in Montreal.
You would see the same names everywhere you looked. I recognized all of them.
Only on BP you could find a constellation of girls, known to unknown.
Today, all websites (I'm not even talking about LL) have 200+ girls working in Montreal or from other cities falsely advertising in Montreal, scammers and AI, I can't recognize more than 20 real girls nowadays. It's impossible to be seen through this chaos, and the reference system is almost impossible to use since I can't verify if the girl is real or not anymore. Even social media is not as straightforward as it was.
I knew one way to work. And what I knew doesn't exist anymore.
I also wonder if there are less new clients entering the industry because of this. And the majority of those who do are the youngsters who feel at ease with this chaotic Internet as it is today, who are not my ideal clientele.
The enshittification of Internet can be felt in this industry, maybe we were even the first to feel its turmoil.
It saved girls from working from the streets in unsafe conditions, but unsafe conditions still exist and relying on technology for everything in life is a trap.
I started much later, but I see the effects of this and it has gotten worse since I began in 2022.
The internet has been very positive for the industry but yes, enshittification, bad laws, pimps seeing the internet as an opportunity, scams AI, onlyfans ads, platforms banning us etc.
Even from the time I entered the industry until now, I've noticed a huge difference. And I think there are less new clients trying this experience for the right reason, too. It doesn't matter to me how old they are. It's more the attitude..
My X account was suspended for the 3rd time recently. The day after I had a difficult conversation with a regular client, but that might have been a coincidence...
I decided to just give up. Also the algorithm isn't what it used to be in X.. but I used to get a lot of good clients who found me on it, or discovered me on an advertisement platform and enjoyed my posts. It sucks.I get very few inquiries from tryst nowadays, and it was an excellent platform at first that sometimes brought me great clients. I do get inquiries from bluesky, but mostly when I'm touring. It seems like people in Montreal don't like that website as much.
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I wrote 2022-2023 somewhere when composing my message, but erased it. It's no coincidence that you mention 2022 as well. Since then, I feel lost.
It's been hard to start. I'm not going to mention details but I had to try many things and couldn't always choose my clients which was really hard..
It's frustrating when everything ends up no longer functioning. I started noticing a decline in the spring of 2024 personally and that's when I started going for more aggressive marketing, posting here, etc.
It does work but it's really exhausting and I have found myself making compromises I didn't want to make. Some friends of mine told me that back in the day you could post on Backpage once and get a ton of serious clients.
I've had some memorable experiences this year so far, tho. I try to look at things in a positive way. I'm also lucky that I have multiple repeat clients and even people who come back after a year or more.
En effet. On dirait que maintenant le site web doit être tout d’abord vu sur une plateforme de media social.. ce qui n’était pas le cas il y a 10 ans. Je suis probablement trop vieux pour comprendre ce qu’il y a de si difficile à seulement naviguer sur le web mais bon ...
Cela dit, un célèbre site de regroupement de TDS qui existe toujours était à l’époque « the place to be » pourrait être amélioré car il n’a pas vraiment changé depuis et sert principalement de one stop shop pour être redirigé vers le site perso de la TS.
Un indicateur de disponibilité quotidienne, 2-3 photos de plus, un peu plus de filtres seraient pas mauvais et parlerait peut-être plus à la nouvelle clientèle pour vous ?
Ce n'est pas une agence. Ce n'est ni réalisable ni réaliste d'implémenter ces changements car nous sommes toutes des indépendantes avec nos propres horaires etc. La plupart d'entre nous ont une galerie pleine de photos sur notre site web
Mais je pense qu'il y a une mauvaise compréhension de ce qu'est ce site si tu parles de Indy companion. Ce n'est pas qu'une plateforme de publicité, ce sont les membres d'un collectif vérifiés. Ce n'est pas une agence.
Plein de tds ne veulent pas oublier leur horaire ou publier sur Merb pour plein de raisons. Si tu va voir les réseaux sociaux de ces personnes tu verras beaucoup de photos. La plupart des TDS sont sur bluesky maintenant.
