Addressing Coercion and Building a Stronger Merb Community

[Obvio-0bvio]

As a concerned member of our Merb community, I wanted to address an issue that has been weighing heavily on my mind, and I believe it is crucial for us to come together and work towards a stronger and more respectful Merb community.

Over the years , I have heard from multiple service providers disturbing trend where certain members are coercing service providers into offering services they are unwilling or uncomfortable to provide, using the threat of a negative or positive review. This behavior not only compromises the well-being and autonomy of service providers but also tarnishes the reputation of Merb as a whole.

It is disheartening to witness the erosion of trust and respect that was once the foundation of the community. When I initially started on the Merb platform during its early days, all members were far more respectful and utilized the platform to enhance their service experiences. Agency owners were thrilled to have Merb members visit their service providers, while the providers themselves eagerly anticipated meeting potential members from Merb, as it would boost their business.

Regrettably, this is no longer the case. Agency owners and service providers now hold a dislike for individuals associated with Merb, due to the actions of a few who exploit the system for personal gain. This not only damages our community's reputation but also undermines the trust and respect that we should uphold.

As a concerned member, I am committed to shedding light on these delicate matters and encouraging all members to act responsibly.
It is important that we address these concerns transparently and collectively work towards finding solutions.I understand that addressing this subject can be highly sensitive, and it may be challenging for some of you to acknowledge or accept the existence of these issues. It is possible that many of you are unaware of the extent of these occurrences or may choose to turn a blind eye to them.

I invite all members to join me in this endeavor. Let us come together to share our thoughts, experiences, and suggestions on how we can combat coercion, protect the reputation of Merb, and promote responsible behavior within our community. Together, we can create a safe and respectful environment where all members feel valued and supported.

Thank you for taking the time to read and consider my post. I look forward to your contributions and working towards a better Merb community.

 

[mikedonn]

Spoken like a real gentleman, well said "Bond"

 

[Obvio-0bvio]

Spoken like a real gentleman, well said "Bond"

Thank you for your kind words, my friend. We are currently facing a sensitive issue that is tarnishing our reputation as members of the merb community. It is disheartening to see that agency owners and service providers are refusing to work with us simply because we identify as merb members. Unfortunately, this is the reality we are facing. There are certain individuals who misuse their membership status, causing us all to be viewed in a negative light.

To be honest, the majority of us are here to enjoy and benefit from reading good reviews, which help us choose the right service providers that meet our specific requirements as clients.Most members simply desire recommendations for good service providers and wish to pursue their hobby in peace, and most of us show nothing but respect towards service providers. However, it is unacceptable that a few individuals are giving the merb community a bad reputation. This goes against the very essence of what merb stands for.

We have reached a point where we feel the need to hide our merb membership. In the past, being a member of merb meant that you were a true, respectful gentleman, and agency owners would eagerly seek out members to associate their agencies with and were certain that the service providers were being properly looked after by the members of Merb as a client.They hoped that by providing excellent service by the service providers , members would write favorable reviews, resulting in a constant influx of clients. We understand the potential impact a negative review can have on an agency or service provider, in some cases agencies have completely fallen apart and service providers have retired due to the negative consequences.

Agencies and service providers do not want to be associated with this type of situation, as some members use it as a means to manipulate service providers. From their perspective, merb members are bad for business, as they often have unrealistic expectations and some service providers are fearful due to past negative experiences with other members to which has led to a decrease in bookings for some service providers and, in some cases, a complete ruin of an agency's reputation.

In certain instances, service providers have experienced a sense of violation when they felt compelled to engage in activities that they initially did not agreed to, almost as if they had no choice but to comply due to the potential negative impact a bad review could have on their reputation.

Moreover, there have been cases where service providers have been left traumatized by the unwillingness of some members within the merb community for which the member did not respect their boundaries . Regrettably, I cannot delve into specific details owing to the confidentiality I have maintained with the service provider in question.

It is important to note that there have been numerous other distressing incidents that have occurred, but for various reasons, they are not being openly discussed.

It is crucial that we address this issue and find a solution that will restore the positive image of the merb community. We should work towards ensuring that all members uphold the values of respect and appreciation for service providers. By doing so, we can rebuild trust and create a mutually beneficial environment for everyone’s involved.

 

[Rebaynia]

There is the abuse of power as you said...

But at the same time when a review is written in details, almost to the point of an erotica, spank bank worth, a girl can feel violated. Often to her the intimate time spent was that intimate time with YOU... She isn't going around to tell someone every detail of that time with him, and he isn't being judged and expected to provide the same to everyone he meets. She has no anonymity in the scenario, while the gentleman in question are still anonymous..

But many reviews aren't actual reviews.. They are written in a manner you might have seen as an article in playboy. Every detail written so clearly the audience might as well have been sitting in the room during the encounter. Her privacy completely obliterated. She may have deemed you good enough to do this thing with, but now because it's out there in her review everyone who comes across the review expects the very same treatment.

Which I guess comes full circle to what obvio said and forcing her into a corner to do something with this guy she only intended to do with the original review poster.

 

[Obvio-0bvio]

There is the abuse of power as you said...

But at the same time when a review is written in details, almost to the point of an erotica, spank bank worth, a girl can feel violated. Often to her the intimate time spent was that intimate time with YOU... She isn't going around to tell someone every detail of that time with him, and he isn't being judged and expected to provide the same to everyone he meets. She has no anonymity in the scenario, while the gentleman in question are still anonymous..

But many reviews aren't actual reviews.. They are written in a manner you might have seen as an article in playboy. Every detail written so clearly the audience might as well have been sitting in the room during the encounter. Her privacy completely obliterated. She may have deemed you good enough to do this thing with, but now because it's out there in her review everyone who comes across the review expects the very same treatment.

Which I guess comes full circle to what obvio said and forcing her into a corner to do something with this guy she only intended to do with the original review poster.

I understand your perspective, and I agree that being a service provider can be accompanied by the potential inconvenience of receiving reviews on platforms like Merb.

Nevertheless, it is important to clarify that the current discussion does not solely focus on service providers feeling violated by client reviews. I agree with you that reading detailed accounts of encounters, similar to those found in Playboy, can be uncomfortable for the service providers . However, the main concern here revolves around certain members of the Merb platform who exploit their status to coerce or blackmail service providers into doing things they are not interested in. This manipulation is often done under the threat of a negative review that could harm the service provider's reputation. Such behavior is a clear violation of the service provider's boundaries, privacy, and personal autonomy.

These actions not only cast a negative light on the individuals involved but also reflect poorly on the Merb community as a whole. Consequently, service providers and agencies may be reluctant to engage with members of the Merb community due to this issue. It tarnishes the reputation of the platform and goes against the policies and values that Merb upholds.

However, it is essential to address the issue of coercion and blackmail within the Merb community. Upholding respect for service providers, maintaining their boundaries and privacy, and taking a strong stance against such behavior should be the collective aim of the community. By doing so, we can ensure that Merb remains a platform that values and supports service providers in a safe and respectful manner.

 

[PSEfreak]

This is common outside the MERB community. Its a consequence of social media, the "Customer is always right mentality", the Google review option and to an extent Cancel Culture.
People have become entitled and the ability type away anonymously behind a keyboard have made matters worse.
The "threat" of a negative review to ones business is real with real consequences. May times for petty reasons. It takes 10 positive reviews to displace just 1 negative review on your Google business page.
These type people are now carrying this over into the sex industry, because they simply can.
Good Luck finding a solution.

 

[Flyingby]

The strength or the weakness of the board can go both ways
a reviewer who is a shill
or who always only ever writes positives could be looking for benefits from an agency without any threat having to be said.

 

[What's My Name]

When I joined this board, I loved it. Back then, 2012, when contacting a SP and saying you were a MERB member was like you were a God.
As time went on, and speaking to the SP's I noticed that mentioning MERB got you almost banned from seeing the SP. I know because it happened to me several times. I stopped doing that., There is where I was told by the ladies about board members trading a good review and them paying less. It's disgusting. It's too bad people abuse this forum for their gain.
For me it's was a privilege, but today I mention it when we are pillow talking and ask if they want a review, if she says no I'm good with that.
The abuse has to stop because at one point it could happen that no one will advertise here.

Obvio-0bvio,thanks for starting this thread and it should of been much earlier.

 

[Anna Bijou]

The strength or the weakness of the board can go both ways
a reviewer who is a shill
or who always only ever writes positives could be looking for benefits from an agency without any threat having to be said.

Except that's already condemned and policed. It also doesn't have comparable consequences. No offence but that's kind of pulling a "whataboutism" without addressing the actual issue. xo

 

[Flyingby]

Except that's already condemned and policed. It also doesn't have comparable consequences. No offence but that's kind of pulling a "whataboutism" without addressing the actual issue. xo

it is adressed both ways
when looking at recent suspensions members have been banned for threatening to write bad reviews

 

[Flyingby]

I always mention my merb handle. I have NEVER been turned away

 

[Anna Bijou]

it is adressed both ways
when looking at recent suspensions members have been banned for threatening to write bad reviews

Yes and no because as I've mentioned elsewhere, people are often more sophisticated than that and don't share who they are on merb. So the harassment happens away from merb and often no way to connect back to someone's profile.

I always mention my merb handle. I have NEVER been turned away

So you're proof that it's not revealing one's handle that's the issue and has more to do with the way you conduct yourself. That's exactly how it should be!

 

[Obvio-0bvio]

When I joined this board, I loved it. Back then, 2012, when contacting a SP and saying you were a MERB member was like you were a God.
As time went on, and speaking to the SP's I noticed that mentioning MERB got you almost banned from seeing the SP. I know because it happened to me several times. I stopped doing that., There is where I was told by the ladies about board members trading a good review and them paying less. It's disgusting. It's too bad people abuse this forum for their gain.
For me it's was a privilege, but today I mention it when we are pillow talking and ask if they want a review, if she says no I'm good with that.
The abuse has to stop because at one point it could happen that no one will advertise here.

Obvio-0bvio,thanks for starting this thread and it should of been much earlier.

Thank you for your positive thoughts . Without a doubt, this thread was intended to start a long time ago. As we previously discussed, being a member of merb in the past held significant value in the eyes of agencies and service providers. They recognized merb members as potential goldmine clients, as a positive review of a service provider could greatly impact the reputation and success of the agency. Merb members were widely respected for their gentlemanly demeanor and enthusiastic approach.

Regrettably, due to a few disruptive members, members of the community are now forced to conceal their merb membership from agencies and service providers in order to avoid being rejected as clients. However, I firmly believe that there is still a glimmer of hope to revive the glorious days of merb. It will undoubtedly require extensive effort, including engaging in open discussions on the forum, imparting wisdom to members, exploring suggestions from other members, and, most importantly, exposing those bad apples that are tarnishing the merb community. I am aware that the moderators take this matter very seriously.

With confidence, I believe that we can eliminate these negative reputations and restore merb to its former magnificence, embodying all the exceptional qualities that we hold . Let us work together to bring merb back to its former glory and make it the vibrant community it used to be.

 

[Obvio-0bvio]

I always mention my merb handle. I have NEVER been turned away

Only because you are a sincere and honorable gentleman, my friend.

 

[rando555]

In my mind, this is similar to walking into a restaurant and announcing to the chef that you are a yelp reviewer

I never mention Merb, ever, and I feel like it would make things awkward if anyone did

 

[Lexus3]

endless posters have developed a friendship with owners and girls and how can they make a honest post-
they tell you how great place is but fail to mention sometimes they get freebees for their glowing reviews
its all about money and these guys think they have a real friendship

Many of us have heard stories of freebees or "special service" for glowing reviews and sometimes, for less than positive reviews of alternative providers.
I will admit that I have favorites that I see regularly and who I speak highly of without any preferential treatment in return. I would however never compromize if I feel there is a health or hygiene issue.

 

[Anna Bijou]

This is common outside the MERB community. Its a consequence of social media, the "Customer is always right mentality", the Google review option and to an extent Cancel Culture.
People have become entitled and the ability type away anonymously behind a keyboard have made matters worse.
The "threat" of a negative review to ones business is real with real consequences. May times for petty reasons. It takes 10 positive reviews to displace just 1 negative review on your Google business page.
These type people are now carrying this over into the sex industry, because they simply can.
Good Luck finding a solution.

I don't think there's one magic solution as there are many causes. But I do think it needs to be called out when it happens publicly, you witness it or you become aware. Some men feel emboldened because they don't think there are consequences and when people don't speak up they interpret it as acceptable. It's basically the bystander effect while we are the ones subjected to the abuse.

In my mind, this is similar to walking into a restaurant and announcing to the chef that you are a yelp reviewer

I never mention Merb, ever, and I feel like it would make things awkward if anyone did

We're not making you dinner. Merb and Yelp are not at all the same.

However, I just checked and you don't come to Merb to bash providers so I don't see an issue with not wanting to share that you're on Merb.

 

[Obvio-0bvio]

Canbest was the best hands down for that reason
when you have agency =studio owners and the girls spending endless time here
try putting somehting negative your opinion about cetrain providers studios (which is not allowed )and see how long the post stays

endless posters have developed a friendship with owners and girls and how can they make a honest post-
they tell you how great place is but fail to mention sometimes they get freebees for their glowing reviews
its all about money and these guys think they have a real friendship


tarnishes the reputation of Merb as what reputation do they have?was a great place back in 2003the tollerance to say the least was quite different you could express opinions and have polite arguments even allowed to make a joke.
many posters don't post anymore because of this but rather discuss in messages

I have come across stories regarding members who, in exchange for a complimentary service or discount, post positive reviews. While this arrangement may seem beneficial at first, it is important to consider the long-term consequences. Once other members realize that the actual encounter and service did not align with the glowing review, the credibility and value of those members diminish. Within the community, members engage in discussions between them in private messages, and if someone is caught fabricating or exaggerating a review, their standing within the community suffers greatly.

It is crucial to prioritize accurate information and not waste other members' time and money by solely seeking free services in exchange for positive reviews. Over time, members become aware of such practices.

Personally, I do not solely rely on reviews. While I enjoy reading them, I prefer to rely on my own judgment when it comes to booking service providers, regardless of whether they have positive or negative reviews. Sometimes, I have noticed that a service provider, despite receiving negative reviews, turns out to be a great fit for me.

On the other hand, I understand that many members heavily rely on positive reviews before booking with service providers. For them, it is crucial to ensure that the service providers meet their specific requirements in terms of service and physical attributes.

Some members even follow those who consistently provide reliable reviews. Personally, I have received a lot of messages from members expressing gratitude for my suggestions and reviews, which brings a smile to my face as it indicates their satisfaction with the recommended service providers. Each member has their own unique reasons for being a part of the Merb community.

 

[Obvio-0bvio]

Besides warning of outright scams, terrible hygiene, or bait and switches, I don't find much use in a review. Sps can not guarantee the same experience for every customer.

Some of my better experiences have been with providers who have some controversy in their reviews. Meanwhile, my "worst" was with somebody who has very positive reviews.

Similarly, I have expressed this numerous times in the past: I have noticed that service providers with negative or no reviews often result in the best encounters for me.

 

[GreyPilgrim]

Similarly, I have expressed this numerous times in the past: I have noticed that service providers with negative or no reviews often result in the best encounters for me.

Yeah. Hype can kill a session before the door even opens.

As for the reviews, glowing or scathing, if anyone takes everything written on MERB for cold hard facts, they probably deserve the wake up call that’s coming their way!

On one hand, you’ve got photoshopped pics, exaggerating bookers and SP’s that haven’t aged in the past 8 years…

On the other, you’ve got shills, vengeful incels, white knights and posturing peacocks desperate to prove they can outdick Mick Blue…

Doesn’t exactly take a PhD to figure out you need to read between the lines around here.