Addressing Unacceptable Behavior

[Obvio-0bvio]

A recurring issue has been weighing heavily on my mind for quite some time now. It revolves around the troubling prevalence of unnecessary bullying among members, as well as the tendency to seize upon even the smallest errors to target and bother others members. I am not alone in feeling that I have been unfairly attacked by fellow members over minor mistakes. Through private messages, numerous individuals have expressed their gratitude for my reviews, while also revealing that they used to write reviews themselves. However, due to negative encounters with a few disruptive members on the forum, they were discouraged and eventually ceased their review-writing activities. It is perplexing to me how some members can resort to attacking others, especially after those who write reviews and had gone out of their way to provide valuable information about service providers for the benefit of the community. This behavior is simply unacceptable in my view.

It is disheartening to witness certain members attempting to belittle or mock others, seemingly to elevate their own importance on the forum. This behavior not only discourages potential reviewers but also drives away members who fear being subjected to ridicule and bullying. More often than not, those who engage in such attacks are the ones who contribute little or no information about service providers, instead choosing to target their fellow members. Some long-standing members seem to believe that their seniority gives them the right to attack newcomers, but in doing so, they are hindering the sharing of valuable information and reviews. Rather than setting a positive example, the forum has devolved into a circus where members mock one another for free.

I find it difficult to comprehend the ingratitude displayed by those who choose to attack their peers. It is no surprise that there are now fewer reviews being shared compared to the usual routine. Despite moments of contemplating leaving the forum, I am reminded of the gracious and knowledgeable individuals who mentored me when I first entered this community. Their guidance and support have equipped me with the expertise to navigate the sex industry as a client successfully. I owe a debt of gratitude to these mentors, and I consider it my responsibility to pay their kindness forward to other members.

It is imperative that this behavior changes, and that every member learns to treat others with respect. Let us work together to create a forum that fosters mutual respect and appreciation among all members.

 

[Sylar]

I am unsure if we visit the same threads and simply have a different perception of what is happening or if we just frequent different discussions and thus have a varying impression of the board.

If it is the latter, (which is very possible as I mostly read reviews of girls that I am interested in and I have a very specific type) then I do not have much to add, as I would fully agree with you.

If it is the former, I would question whose behavior is unacceptable.
I've seen a small group of reviewers who are simply out of bounds. Considering that the mods are regularly removing parts of these reviews or even the whole thread altogether clearly shows that I am not the only one who thinks this way. And I for one welcome the fact that these members are being called out and held accountable for their actions. The mutual respect and appreciation should not only be amongst clients, but also apply to those that are being reviewed. Indeed if the service was subpar, I do want to hear the details, but there is no need to dehumanize or degrade the SP because the individual expectations have not been met. To be clear, I am absolutely not speaking about you, as your reviews and replies are always thought-out and well-mannered.

I want to add that the few exchanges that you and I had were always pleasant. We might not have the same opinion on every topic, but I feel that mutual consideration was always present. Which I believe should be the standard for the board.

 

[TheJames101]

Reviews that are degrading to the SP as a person should be called out.
Likewise, reviews that paint the SP as the greatest gift God ever graced us with, are also mostly useless - on the other side of the scale.

Of course, bullying has no place.

 

[Sylar]

ChatGPT summarize what I wrote in a more concise manner.

Thanks @TheJames101

Reviews that are degrading to the SP as a person should be called out.
Likewise, reviews that paint the SP as the greatest gift God ever graced us with, are also mostly useless - on the other side of the scale.

Of course, bullying has no place.

 

[Obvio-0bvio]

I am unsure if we visit the same threads and simply have a different perception of what is happening or if we just frequent different discussions and thus have a varying impression of the board.

If it is the latter, (which is very possible as I mostly read reviews of girls that I am interested in and I have a very specific type) then I do not have much to add, as I would fully agree with you.

If it is the former, I would question whose behavior is unacceptable.
I've seen a small group of reviewers who are simply out of bounds. Considering that the mods are regularly removing parts of these reviews or even the whole thread altogether clearly shows that I am not the only one who thinks this way. And I for one welcome the fact that these members are being called out and held accountable for their actions. The mutual respect and appreciation should not only be amongst clients, but also apply to those that are being reviewed. Indeed if the service was subpar, I do want to hear the details, but there is no need to dehumanize or degrade the SP because the individual expectations have not been met. To be clear, I am absolutely not speaking about you, as your reviews and replies are always thought-out and well-mannered.

I want to add that the few exchanges that you and I had were always pleasant. We might not have the same opinion on every topic, but I feel that mutual consideration was always present. Which I believe should be the standard for the board.

This thread is to emphasize the importance of showing respect towards each other within our community as members. Specifically, I am highlighting the issue of some members feeling intimidated and apprehensive about sharing their reviews or comments due to the fear of being subjected to attacks, belittlement, or bullying from fellow members. This discussion revolves around the fundamental principle of mutual respect among all members.

 

[Obvio-0bvio]

I am unsure if we visit the same threads and simply have a different perception of what is happening or if we just frequent different discussions and thus have a varying impression of the board.

If it is the latter, (which is very possible as I mostly read reviews of girls that I am interested in and I have a very specific type) then I do not have much to add, as I would fully agree with you.

If it is the former, I would question whose behavior is unacceptable.
I've seen a small group of reviewers who are simply out of bounds. Considering that the mods are regularly removing parts of these reviews or even the whole thread altogether clearly shows that I am not the only one who thinks this way. And I for one welcome the fact that these members are being called out and held accountable for their actions. The mutual respect and appreciation should not only be amongst clients, but also apply to those that are being reviewed. Indeed if the service was subpar, I do want to hear the details, but there is no need to dehumanize or degrade the SP because the individual expectations have not been met. To be clear, I am absolutely not speaking about you, as your reviews and replies are always thought-out and well-mannered.

I want to add that the few exchanges that you and I had were always pleasant. We might not have the same opinion on every topic, but I feel that mutual consideration was always present. Which I believe should be the standard for the board.

Hey buddy, I want to express my gratitude for the fact that despite our differences, we have always been respectful towards each other. I believe that it is important for all members to treat each other with respect. Ultimately, we are all here with the common goal of sharing information about service providers, and it is important that we work together rather than against each other.

 

[Like_It_Hot]

I don't know if you haven't been treated fairly or not. You publish a lot on different subjects and I don't follow you.
I agree that bullying should not be tolerated. But the more one expose itself, the more he is subject to encounter people disagreeing with him.
As they say: "If you can not stand the heat, get out of the kitchen".
For serious cases, the MODS are there to keep a general OK tone. Feel free to contact them.

 

[Fradi]

I don’t know I have only seen this type of behaviour on political threads, which as far as I am concerned should be deleted and have no relevance or do not contribute anything of value to an escort review board.
You can disagree with people without taking it to heart or attacking them personally. Discussions are healthy and so are different points of view.
You will always have the White Knights who will stand by their favourite SP no matter what and unfortunately there are reviewers who are more interested in bragging and reviewing themselves than the SP.
You can easily write a review without being dehumanizing or giving a step by step account of all the acronyms and still be able to say if you had a pleasant experience, she delivers what she advertises and that you are interested in seeing her again.
I don’t really believe in giving a bad review unless it is an outright scam, you are in danger or received just plain horrible service for apparently no reason.
I always look at it that if we had no chemistry it could just be that I give off the wrong kind of vibes to her and as long as she is polite and respectful the fact that we have no chemistry is not a reason for me to write negative things about her and compromise her livelihood, especially if she has a history of good reviews.
luckily I have never had to write a bad review as I have never had a really bad experience with any provider. Obviously I have my favourites who I stick with and repeat with but I can’t really say that I have even had an experience where it was a waste of time or money.
Perhaps I am just way too easy to please.

I think if you stick to Merb advertisers are kind and treat them with the respect that every woman deserves you will not need to be writing negative reviews.

 

[EagerBeaver]

On the general subject of bullying, I think there is a kind of fine line between criticism of a post, and what crosses the line into bullying. Some posters can have a more blunt posting style than others, not wanting to waste bandwidth, or perhaps lacking the skill or desire to sugarcoat their words. Some feel empowered to be outspoken behind the anonymity of the handle and the unseen keyboard, the proverbial "keyboard warrior." And some are internet bullies. I think message boards tend to attract all types. I think everyone has to remind themselves that this is an escort industry message board and what is posted here is not really important in the great scheme of things. Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one, and we cannot get overwhelmed in reacting to any one poster's posts. The Mods will do their jobs, play umpire, and if they see a post that they think is out of line, they will take it down. In the past, when a poster consistently disrespects other members, the Mods have banned the poster. At the same time, all of us sometimes need to take a step back and not take anything said on this board too seriously. It's MERB. This is not really serious dialogue that is meaningful for anyone's life, unless something very personal, or completely unfair, is said about sex workers. But I think this thread is meant to be about unruly discourse between client members of the board, not their reviews or criticism of sex workers.

Even in the political threads, which have been mentioned as causing a proliferation of disrespectful posts, we all have to remember that probably 99.9% of the posters here, myself included, do not have advanced degrees in political affairs. In addition, frank political discourse in the real world can often be quite controversial, and upsetting. The amount of emotion that a political issue generates has always somewhat fascinated and amused me, because I feel like the existence of the issue is very disproportionately not as impactful to the poster's actual life as the emotion expended on it. And there is also very little any of us can do on any particular issue under discussion, whether we vote or not. Elections do not get decided by 1 vote anywhere in Canada and the USA, so what any one person thinks, feels, posts or votes, in reality, does not matter. As the rock band Kansas once sang, each one of us is a dust particle in the wind, and where the wind blows is not changed by our single particle existence in it:

 

[2fast2slow]

... political threads, which as far as I am concerned should be deleted and have no relevance or do not contribute anything of value to an escort review board.

amen to that

 

[bodick7]

Sometime one thing is obviously right for some and wrong for others…
Let say a joke you find funny will taste bitter for another one.
I had a couple of not so good exchanges with some members but I still value their POVs.
A forum is a bit like a society microcosm.
All in all, it’s not too bad. Like in a real life, you meet good buddies over time and there are some people which you simply do not want to connect and that’s ok.

 

[Obvio-0bvio]

I don't know if you haven't been treated fairly or not. You publish a lot on different subjects and I don't follow you.
I agree that bullying should not be tolerated. But the more one expose itself, the more he is subject to encounter people disagreeing with him.
As they say: "If you can not stand the heat, get out of the kitchen".
For serious cases, the MODS are there to keep a general OK tone. Feel free to contact them.

In response to your question about whether I have been mistreated, my answer is no. However, this is not relevant to the current discussion; it does not impact my personal life. I am simply striving to create a welcoming community where mutual respect is valued. By ridiculing individuals on this forum, we risk alienating some members who may fear being mocked by others, potentially leading to a loss of valuable information shared by those members. I am not here to act as a tattletale and report every minor issue to the moderators, burdening them with unnecessary concerns. My goal is to foster an environment where members treat each other with respect.

 

[Like_It_Hot]

In response to your question about whether I have been mistreated, my answer is no.

I probably misinterpreted what you meant in writing: "I am not alone in feeling that I have been unfairly attacked by fellow members ".
For the rest of your post I have only one word "AMEN". Stay safe!

 

[Obvio-0bvio]

I don’t know I have only seen this type of behaviour on political threads, which as far as I am concerned should be deleted and have no relevance or do not contribute anything of value to an escort review board.
You can disagree with people without taking it to heart or attacking them personally. Discussions are healthy and so are different points of view.
You will always have the White Knights who will stand by their favourite SP no matter what and unfortunately there are reviewers who are more interested in bragging and reviewing themselves than the SP.
You can easily write a review without being dehumanizing or giving a step by step account of all the acronyms and still be able to say if you had a pleasant experience, she delivers what she advertises and that you are interested in seeing her again.
I don’t really believe in giving a bad review unless it is an outright scam, you are in danger or received just plain horrible service for apparently no reason.
I always look at it that if we had no chemistry it could just be that I give off the wrong kind of vibes to her and as long as she is polite and respectful the fact that we have no chemistry is not a reason for me to write negative things about her and compromise her livelihood, especially if she has a history of good reviews.
luckily I have never had to write a bad review as I have never had a really bad experience with any provider. Obviously I have my favourites who I stick with and repeat with but I can’t really say that I have even had an experience where it was a waste of time or money.
Perhaps I am just way too easy to please.

I think if you stick to Merb advertisers are kind and treat them with the respect that every woman deserves you will not need to be writing negative reviews.

Hey there, my friend. I value your perspective and I concur with your views on the potential for political threads to escalate tensions among members. I agree with all the points you raised. However, it's essential to remember that this particular thread is not centered around reviews; rather, it focuses on fostering respect among members. It's worth noting that when a member makes a mistake, there are ways to address it with the utmost respect without resorting to belittlement or mockery. Unfortunately, such behavior may discourage new or existing members from sharing valuable information about service providers. My intention is to encourage a more thoughtful approach to interactions. On a related note, I appreciate and respect all of your contributions and comments.

 

[Obvio-0bvio]

I probably misinterpreted what you meant in writing: "I am not alone in feeling that I have been unfairly attacked by fellow members ".
For the rest of your post I have only one word "AMEN". Stay safe!

You are correct in pointing out that I previously mentioned experiencing unfair attacks. I initially assumed you were referring to real-life situations rather than incidents on this forum. It is true that some members have shared with me that they have refrained from commenting or writing reviews due to feeling attacked or ridiculed by others.