Chester Brown:" Paying for it"
- Thread starter professorbig
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Just finished reading it, loved it.
I must say, as some have mentioned, that we can all at some point relate to some of the experiences that he's gone through (for e.g. there are so many threads here about "should you leave a tip!", he had the same question). I can relate to the hit and miss of meeting a variety of people, the questioning when you believe you're being scammed, the pleasure of discovering how pleasant and kind most SPs are, far from the stereotype of the bitter and disillusioned girl.
But what struck me the most is the last part of his book, the Appendices. What an intelligent, rigorous yet simple argument in favor of decriminalization. And I love the way he deconstructs some of the most common criticism favoring criminalizing prostitution like the issue of choice, of exploitation, of human trafficking. I love the way he demonstrate how ridiculous some of these objections are by demonstrating their contradiction (for e.g. feminists praise women's right to chose what they do with their body when we talk about abortion, but believe they cannot make such a choice when it's a question of having paid sex).
And I can't help but thinking that, with his last partner, he is more of less in an arrangement situation (but that's for another thread....).
Any views?
I must say, as some have mentioned, that we can all at some point relate to some of the experiences that he's gone through (for e.g. there are so many threads here about "should you leave a tip!", he had the same question). I can relate to the hit and miss of meeting a variety of people, the questioning when you believe you're being scammed, the pleasure of discovering how pleasant and kind most SPs are, far from the stereotype of the bitter and disillusioned girl.
But what struck me the most is the last part of his book, the Appendices. What an intelligent, rigorous yet simple argument in favor of decriminalization. And I love the way he deconstructs some of the most common criticism favoring criminalizing prostitution like the issue of choice, of exploitation, of human trafficking. I love the way he demonstrate how ridiculous some of these objections are by demonstrating their contradiction (for e.g. feminists praise women's right to chose what they do with their body when we talk about abortion, but believe they cannot make such a choice when it's a question of having paid sex).
And I can't help but thinking that, with his last partner, he is more of less in an arrangement situation (but that's for another thread....).
Any views?
For many years I was married to a woman I fell madly in love with. We had a wonderful relationship and great sex . Then she got pregnant !!!! I suffered through 9 months where she refused to allow me to touch her 
Subsequently 18 months after that, another pregnancy and another 9 months dry ! I ran into an SP by chance at a bar and as we talked we had a discussion regarding paying for it !I emphatically told her I never would ! She asked me about my situation in life, Married ? yes , Home ? yes, Mortgage ? Yes, kids ? yes, Car loan ? yes, then she asked me the most telling question, "How often do you have sex with your wife per year ? " I thought about this and was surprised that it amounted to approximately 20 times / year. She pointed out that if I divide all of the trappings of my situation by the number of times my wife has sex with me the cost / time is astounding. Now don't get me wrong, I loved my wife and kids and the cost of all of this was the furthest thing from my mind but I decided to stop harassing my wife for sex and look for it in a NSA situation. Since then I have been able to share moments with SP's without any regrets. Yes I divorced my wife but not because of the lack of sex, it was because we had grown apart and wanted different things in our lives. I have had a couple of relationships but find that I do not want to be tied to one person and enjoy this hobby. I have met many wonderful women and have developed several enduring relationships with some of them ( not as SP's ) as friends to the point that a few are included in my circle of friends and I in theirs. (Of course no one knows the history )
Subsequently 18 months after that, another pregnancy and another 9 months dry ! I ran into an SP by chance at a bar and as we talked we had a discussion regarding paying for it !I emphatically told her I never would ! She asked me about my situation in life, Married ? yes , Home ? yes, Mortgage ? Yes, kids ? yes, Car loan ? yes, then she asked me the most telling question, "How often do you have sex with your wife per year ? " I thought about this and was surprised that it amounted to approximately 20 times / year. She pointed out that if I divide all of the trappings of my situation by the number of times my wife has sex with me the cost / time is astounding. Now don't get me wrong, I loved my wife and kids and the cost of all of this was the furthest thing from my mind but I decided to stop harassing my wife for sex and look for it in a NSA situation. Since then I have been able to share moments with SP's without any regrets. Yes I divorced my wife but not because of the lack of sex, it was because we had grown apart and wanted different things in our lives. I have had a couple of relationships but find that I do not want to be tied to one person and enjoy this hobby. I have met many wonderful women and have developed several enduring relationships with some of them ( not as SP's ) as friends to the point that a few are included in my circle of friends and I in theirs. (Of course no one knows the history )Not always a good analogy. What about guys who are having sex 10 times a week with their wives.
Or lets say that you own a pool. and you use it 20 times a year and the upkeep costs you 2000.
Do you shut your pool and go swimming at the local community center or park?
Or lets say that you own a pool. and you use it 20 times a year and the upkeep costs you 2000.
Do you shut your pool and go swimming at the local community center or park?
I would suggest that the guy having sex with his wife 10 times a week is NOT seeing an SP to satisfy his needs. If my wife (when I was married ) was actually putting out on a regular basis I would have never ventured down the road into this hobby. As for the pool, I have a pool, if you owned one you would know that it does NOT cost $2,000 to maintain over a summer.
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